Affectionate vs Sexual

epsilion11 · 2015-09-20T14:25:26+00:00

Affection for dudes doesn't have to be physical at all, but sure you can have affectionate kissing and hugging that doesn't lead to escalation.

Affection is simply showing somebody that you care deeply, and for dudes this can be packing our lunch for us, stuffing it with a letter, running to Home Depot for the drywall screws I forgot so I don't have to go for the 5th time today, or even just bringing us a beer. It's pretty simple to keep us happy.

And sex would be great too.

stayinathome · 2015-09-20T16:29:27+00:00

Anticipating wants and needs. This is something a wife or LTR can do better than just any ol lady.

Be aware of likes and dislikes of your man, this is a great way to never feel offended if he didn't like something, you can learn from it and know how to please him better in the future instead of feeling sorry for yourself.

KatherineKelly · 2015-09-20T19:26:54+00:00

For me affection humanizes sex.

I love the raw passion and urgency of sex and would not want to lose that in a relationship.

If that was missing I do not think I could feel like a woman. The desire of a man makes me aware of myself as a woman and in some ways shapes me into the kind of woman I am and will become.

I simply do not want to share this experience with other women by him being sexual with other women. It is to personal.

Affection may be measured by acts but it is not the act but the meaning behind the act. The act symbolizes something else and gives meaning to it.

If you try to show affection without actually feeling affectionate it will come across as false (it will feel like a lie)

Our body and senses are like a type of lie detector. The truth is always being communicated (whether someone is genuine or not)but either we do not want to see it or do not understand what we are seeing.

People are not nearly as good at hiding the truth as they think they are, it is just that most people prefer to be lied to.

Affection is a measure of value. It tells me how much I'm cared for and in this I feel safe to care for the other person. I do not consciously measure it by keeping score but feel it as that deep knowing that I am loved, valued, enjoyed, wanted and cared for.

Affection is the dance that makes slow dancing possible. it allows for and creates connection in ways that take sex beyond the passion and urgency but there is a danger in this.

The danger is to not let affection destroy the violence, urgency, wildness and passion of sex.

Nice sex is very boring and can destroy the sense of being desired.

Nice sex may leave a woman with her dignity but it threatens to steal her sense of herself as a woman.

I hate nice sex and will not tolerate it in my life. I'm very good at making a man I love "angry" when I think he is becoming to nice.

Sometimes to enflame a mans passion you have to really piss him off so he stops protecting and respecting you so much he loses the ability to want and take you.

This will not work if he is passive and can actually push him deeper into niceness but there are ways around this.

CoochQuarantine · 2015-09-20T14:59:08+00:00

Affection is an act of showing someone you care deeply for them. Sex, cuddling, kissing etc are expressions of that. They aren't the ONLY expressions of it though. Texting them "I miss you" or making them their favorite meal are also expressions of affection. They don't necessarily have to be sexual in nature.

freebumblebee · 2015-09-20T15:31:52+00:00

I kiss and cuddle and am physically affectionate all the time without it leading to sex or sexual release or even physical arousal. Just because something can lead to sex or physical arousal doesn't mean it has to. If I'm physically affectionate and he wants it to lead to something sexual, I'm game, but that's not my intention with my actions. You can also be affectionate without being physical. Slipping notes into his lunch, texting him, showing him you care with your actions. Similarly, you can be sexual without being physical.

TheLadyPainter · 2015-09-20T16:31:27+00:00

Affection towards my friends: Hugging, kissing on the cheek (as greetings). For female friends, more frequent hugging and other physical contact (arm/waist/shoulder/whatever) is also appropriate.

Affection towards my SO - in public: Hugging, hand holding, kisses on the cheek all the time. Sometimes I kiss his hands, too. Staying physically closer to him than to others. Making his plate for him if we're out. Kisses on the lips if company is comfortable with it.

Affectionate/Sexual towards my SO - in private: Cuddling (whole body contact), longer kisses, prolonged touching, straddling, necking, all the way up to the act itself.

I found it pretty easy to type these three categories off the top of my head. As to your question of things leading to arousal - a sexual/arousing kiss is different from a public kiss. I put a different energy out when we're alone.

cxj · 2015-09-21T07:31:10+00:00

Last semester I had to study for one of the most difficult finals of my life on my birthday. It blew pretty hard, but some female students invited me to study with them. They had baked me a cake and sung me happy birthday, and helped me study all day. Half of them were married, and none of them gave the least bit of indication that they were romantically interested, but they were so nice and gentle and caring, it was really truly touching. They made my day stress free and enjoyable, and put me in a good mood, which is very hard to do because I am a maladjusted, ill tempered fuck. I am always impressed when anything puts me in a good mood, for any reason, ever, lol.

This was a great example of female to male affection of a totally non sexual nature.

fatalbinoninja · 2015-09-22T13:42:31+00:00

Bill Burr said it best here. Just do that or something similar once a month instead and your guy will happier than a tornado in a trailer park.

TheTerrorSquad · 2015-09-20T15:42:11+00:00

How are you affectionate to your parents or relatives?

vermelhyou · 2015-09-20T17:37:52+00:00

Affection for me is something that could turn sexual, but doesn't. If I feel comfortable doing it in front of family and friends then it's more affectionate than sexual.

Him wrapping his arms around me and resting his head on my neck while I cook, being kissed on the forehead, holding hands during a movie, that sort of thing.

Aerobus · 2015-09-20T21:56:45+00:00

I don't think hugs, cuddling, kissing need to be sexual all the time. There is a difference between a quick peck on the lips and a make-out session. There is a difference between spooning under the covers and grinding against him and sharing a blanket, your body touching his, as you watch a movie.

Title	Affectionate vs Sexual
Author	LifeHasLag
Upvotes	13
Comments	25
Date	September 20, 2015 2:07 PM UTC (10 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/3locv5/affectionate_vs_sexual/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/affectionate-vs-sexual.85618 https://theredarchive.com/post/85618

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