For background, I am 21F and my boyfriend of almost 4 years is 21M. We are both completing university degrees, him in Biology and Earth Science, and I in Social Work. This has been an ongoing problem that's been stressing me out for a while, and it has reached a boiling point today. It's going to be a long one, so settle in.
My boyfriend is notoriously bad with money. He shops when he's stressed out, which is often. This habit has lead to him giving up his credit cards and putting his parents in control of his bank account after he discovered he had credit card debt. He did this willingly, because he realized he had no control over his spending. He has not had a job since the Summer of 2016, because his parents pay for everything. A summer job, which is a necessity for me, is not something he needs to worry about. Even so, he is very stingy when it comes to money, and he keeps a tab of how much I owe him for things like shooting his ammo when he takes me to the gun range.
You'd think that someone who likes buying things and is so concerned about others spending his money would want to work all the time. However, that isn't the case. I could take the wild spending, his parents funding everything, and him making me pay him back, if he showed at least some interest in finding a job. Except he doesn't. In fact, it's quite the opposite. He seems to actively avoid looking into jobs, and he half asses his resume, cover letters, and applications.
This week, he learned on short notice that a friend wanted to introduce him to a contact the next day, at a business convention. He was told to bring a business card. Well, he does not have a business card. He messaged me, totally stressed out, saying that he was on the verge of having a meltdown due to struggling with designing the card. I calmed him down, and told him I'd design the card myself. I did. I sent him the image and he was pleased with it. Then he asked me to print it out. At this point, it's 11:30pm, I have no business card paper to print it onto, and all the stores are closed. I say I can't, he tells me to do it in the morning, when the print shop opens. I want to help him, so I agree. I wake up early and head to the store right for opening. I struggle to submit an order for two hours, and finally call my boyfriend to see what his back up plan is. My call wakes him up. He says to keep trying, so I do. I finally get the order placed, and look back at my messages. He has decided to print some out onto printer paper as a backup. I grab some business card paper on the way out and rush over to his house. He uses that paper to print out some cards (they end up blurry because he didn't format it properly) and we rush down to the convention where we learn that it's ending in an hour. He didn't even know.
I've been angry all day. My boyfriend does seem to suffer from some kind of anxiety, so part of me feels bad about being so angry with him, but the other part wishes he'd take this seriously. He didn't even bother dressing a little nicer than usual. I don't know if I'm overreacting, but seeing him beside his friend, who at least had a tie and blazer on, I felt embarrassed. He was wearing the same shirt as yesterday, a plaid long sleeve, and he looked so out of place among the business men and investors. It just all built up. Him not dressing right, not being able to design his own business cards, not bothering to wake up early to at least get paper to print them off at home, not even knowing how to get to the convention centre... I just felt like he didn't care at all. Like he didn't care about finding a job, and therefore didn't care about making his own money. That he had no plan for what to do once his parents stop paying for everything. He keeps insisting that he doesn't want a job if it's not in his field of study, but I personally think that anything would look better than an empty resume.
Am I overreacting here? Do I have the right to be so annoyed with him?
TLDR: Boyfriend is terrible with money, is funded entirely by his parents, and hasn't had a job since Summer 2016. Had the opportunity to meet with an important contact, got me to do all the prep work for it, and didn't seem to care at all. Do I have the right to be frustrated with him?
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