Dread Game

Aerobus · 2015-04-16T19:29:32+00:00

Have you ever experienced dread game done to you?

I think in theory a lot of women would agree with you, but in practice, their emotions get the better of them.

FleetingWish · 2015-04-16T20:14:02+00:00

If a man I was dating even so much as implied that he was cheating

That's not quite what dread game is. Dread game is more like implying with varying levels of subtlety the possibility of moving on (or nexting you) to remind you that he has options (and thus is high value), to let you know he has standards (again shows high value), and sometimes to encourage your to change some behavior if you have done something to upset him.

Some examples of dread game might include:

Getting in great shape, when previously both you and SO were couch potatoes.
Mentioning how the cute cashier was flirting with you. Or mentioning how attractive someone else is.
Saying that you want a divorce.
Saying that you will leave if some behavior doesn't change.

It's not that we want to have someone telling us they might leave, but sometimes it works well to remind someone you have that option, to get them to work harder if they want to keep you, or just to remind someone that you have value.

A word of warning though. Dread game really only works on women, and only some men. When women use dread game on a man he will often think "if she has other options, she must not be that interested in me". When used on men, it will very often backfire, and he will move on.

_wingnut_ · 2015-04-16T21:39:36+00:00

And this is why men say to Watch what women DO, and not to listen to what they say. Your bald assertion of what "you'd do" is meaningless

_wingnut_ · 2015-04-16T20:32:02+00:00

Have you been married for ten years, turned off sex and started rolling your eyes at a man yet? If your answer is no, then you don't understand where dread game comes into play

pcadrian · 2015-04-16T19:55:54+00:00

Dread game doesn't have to imply cheating. It can be as simple as the man starting to work out so he can get in better shape. Or going out and spending time with friends if the wife/girlfriend doesn't act right and brings him down.

RPWAlethiaTheElf · 2015-04-16T21:14:58+00:00

If a man I was dating even so much as implied that he was cheating, I would break up with him and end it immediately, no ifs ands or buts.

I had the same sudden reaction when I first read it, and while I still wouldn't tolerate a man implying to cheat since I've been cheated on before, that isn't all of what "dread game" is. When me and my boyfriend went out to dinner last week, with him looking particularly dark and sexy that night, I got somewhat jealous when our waitresses began flirting with him. While he didn't acknowledge them (I'm not sure whether he is oblivious or just a really good actor, not done solving all his mysteries yet), it still got under my skin enough to drag him home and ride his brains out. So light "dread game" does work on me; I think the term TRP would use is "passive dread game" since he didn't actively do anything to bring this attention onto himself.

When people talk about higher levels of "dread game" they are usually doing so in the context of trying to get a relationship that has been dead for years moving again.

I have been reading about dread game on TRP [...]

You really need to remember to read TRP at your own peril as woman, it's not meant for us. I stopped reading it awhile ago since the general attitude of the sub just infuriated me.

Bakerofpie · 2015-04-17T14:23:51+00:00

Overt dread doesn't work on me either, which I can say from experience. But it is sometimes the natural effect of being with a high value man. Husband doesn't rub it in my face when he finds other women attractive (unless it's to be obviously playful), and I don't believe he would cheat on me, but I still have the effects of "dread" because I know he's attractive and could get a lot more women if he wanted to. The fact that I trust, love, and look up to him means that I am extremely honored that he chose me over anyone else and makes me want to work all the harder so that he stays happy with his decision. If he were going around implying he would actually cheat on me or show such low integrity and moral character the working so hard to please him would cease almost entirely.

StingrayVC · 2015-04-16T19:34:30+00:00

There are gradations of Dread and different women do well with varying amounts. A wife who is a shrieking shrew would require more than a wife who is sweet and loving.

Dread is going to be a natural thing in many relationships as a wife and husband's SMV change because, as she gets older, hers will decrease and his will increase.

TempestTcup · 2015-04-16T22:44:03+00:00

My husband does unintentional dread on me by participating in dangerous sports and driving crazy fast. Sometimes i am on the ground thinking "Please don't die, please don't die!" Not all dread is negative; some of it is exciting and adventurous.

So would you dump a man who drives fast or is a pilot, etc?

krystyin · 2015-04-17T14:18:13+00:00

Calla,

That is not dread. That is the last resort.

Here is the Dread -

Dread 1: Be the Captain - Maintain Frame

Dread 2: Improve Physically, Spiritually, Mentally

Dread 3: Increase Social Circles - All Work and Women and no Play....

Dread 4: Do Everything Decently and Orderly - Get your Shit Down.

Dread 5: Dress to Impress - At this point you should have steps 1 to 4 down and are just improving first impressions.

Dread 6: Be Bold - Have confidence to be direct in sexual advances.

Dread 7: Be Mentally Quick - This is PUA BS... but it works.

Dread 8: Show your Value - High Value people get flirted with.

Dread 9: Do you have loyalty?

Dread 10+: This is basically moving towards "cheating".

Most low quality guys just skip 1 to 9 and skip to cheating because they are low quality - you are better off with out them. If the guy is at his peak - he does not need to resort to petty demands, cheating, etc. They really should just call dread the art of attraction.

dicklord_airplane · 2015-04-16T20:01:41+00:00

dread game isn't only threatening to cheat. it's subtly letting your partner know that they may lose you if they don't put enough effort into the relationship.

if you've ever been afraid to lose someone after they implied that they may be losing attraction for you, and it motivated you to put more effort into being attractive to them, then you have successfully been dread gamed. you've probably done it to guys, too.

it's not an evil thing. people get lazy and start to slip in relationships, and their partners will subtly let them know that they don't like it and will dump them if they don't shape up.

mensafloyd · 2015-04-17T19:32:07+00:00

You are a wise woman.

drugdoctor87 · 2015-04-19T17:12:06+00:00

My BF does dread game a lot ( I don't think he purposefully does it, it's just kind of built-in to his personality).

At first it made me feel hurt. But then I realized that I trusted him, so i no longer felt hurt. I wouldn't say I feel threatened now because I am in kickass shape. When I wasn't in so good shape, it really got to me, and surprise! It motivated me to get into kickass shape. And now I think it's reverse dread game because now my BF has increased the amount time he spends at the gym.

TLDR: "dread game" basically motivates both parties to strive to be the best version of themselves. As long as trust is intact, it is a very positive thing in a traditional relationship.

h22keisuke · 2015-04-17T05:51:02+00:00

This didn't apply to the exact situation you are outlining, but... Honestly, if you aren't even the slightest bit worried that your man could leave you or cheat on you, then you're either taking him for granted or you're settling. You should always be striving to be the best partner you can. He will notice when you slack off, just like you would notice if he did.

rpw_helena · 2015-04-17T15:41:22+00:00

It's my understanding that dread game is more about a man having an abundance mentality and letting his partner know through subtle cues that he has other options.

If my boyfriend ever cheated on me I would leave him on the spot no matter what; infidelity of any kind is a deal-breaker for both of us. Neither of us would want to be in a relationship wherein either party had any reason to stray. That said, my boyfriend is an attractive guy, and while he doesn't practice dread game intentionally (he's not familiar with TRP), he likes to tell me about the hot woman that hit on him at work or the girl who asked for his number on the street, and I actually like hearing about it. It makes me feel more attracted to him and gives me a little jolt of "I should work harder!".

I tell him about men that approach me as well; I think that our ability to embrace that we're good looking people -- that there are others who we could date if we wanted to, but who we don't want to date because we're each other's favourites -- makes both of us more confident and strengthens our relationship.

_wingnut_ · 2015-04-16T20:26:13+00:00

[permanently deleted]

Title	Dread Game
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	8
Comments	56
Date	April 16, 2015 7:27 PM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/32u8sv/dread_game/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/dread-game.166199 https://theredarchive.com/post/166199

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