I feel stuck in my relationship and need some advice. I’m in a long-distance relationship, and before we got together, my boyfriend was aware of my style and self-care routines. I’ve always dressed modestly (not in a religious sense, just not much skin showing, in a covered but sexy way) but confidently—for instance, wearing fitted dresses that aren’t revealing or pairing shorter clothing with tights. My beauty routine, like getting my nails and lashes done every three weeks, has always been part of who I am, even when I have no plans. He had no issue with any of this at the start, but now, months into the relationship, it’s suddenly become a problem.
I can’t wear fitted dresses without it turning into an argument, even though I’m not going out to clubs—just dinners. He acts distant or upset when I get my nails or lashes done, refusing to compliment me because he says I’m “not doing it for him.”
When I make simple plans, like brunch or shopping with friends, he gives me an unreasonable curfew, like 8 PM. I’m 27, and it makes me feel like a child being controlled by an overly strict parent. I don’t feel confident or feminine anymore—I feel like I’m constantly walking on eggshells. Even something as small as wearing jeans can spark an argument. If he’d been upfront about these boundaries at the start, I don’t think I would’ve pursued this relationship. It feels like I was misled.
He also has trust issues with me, even though I’ve done nothing to break his trust apart from one lie about something before we were together which I came clean about. On the other hand, I’ve caught him being disloyal multiple times, and yet he’s the one constantly suspicious of me. I feel anger that everything he is against me doing or everything he says he doesn’t like, is the kind of stuff I have caught him being attracted to (liking on social media, looking at in public)
He’s even told me he’s uncomfortable with me going to the gym, despite knowing I have a condition that improves with muscle building. Meanwhile, I’ve seen him liking videos of women at the gym wearing revealing outfits.
I’ve given so much to this relationship and stayed completely loyal to him. I just wish he would appreciate that and work on strengthening our relationship, especially given the distance, instead of letting small things like my style or self-care routines cause fights.
Has anyone experienced something similar and managed to overcome it?
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