It’s crazy how much SMV really does matter.

raeonmon · 2018-09-19T22:29:06+00:00

If ideal personality traits were all that was needed for a romantic partner, we would not have the issue of guys being "friend-zoned". Attraction is innate. While women can sometimes see attraction grow with time, if there's none initially, it will not work out.

cynicalhousewife · 2018-09-20T14:54:26+00:00

It sounds to me like you have a penchant for damaged men.

"Immature as all hell, careless/daredevil, self-absorbed. Had HUGE flaws, to the point where he needed intensive therapy. Yet, I stayed in love throughout everything and still don’t know if I’m fully over him"

You can't say that there are no good looking, charismatic men around who are responsible, hard working and mature. You are seeing things in very black and white terms. Men are not either socially awkward, nice guy nerds or jerk boy jocks. This isn't a high school movie and you need to come back to reality.

You need to explore the reasons why you can't find yourself a man that is both attractive to you and brings you a healthy relationship. Do you perhaps have your own dysfunctions that would get in the way of attracting such a man? Are you codependent? Do you crave drama and effect? I think you need to take a good look at yourself.

Flockofpuppies · 2018-09-19T23:32:52+00:00

SMV is highly overrated here. Being Alpha Widowed is not a lesson about how SMV matters, it's lesson in reevaluating your priorities.

Some day you will meet a man with a similar level of attractiveness that you enjoy looking at, but what really sends you over the edge is him changing your car tire, his passion about his dreams, and him playing with his nieces and nephews. What you appreciate at 19 isn't what you appreciate at 30.

GingerDoughGirl · 2018-09-19T21:52:52+00:00

My fiance probably has the lowest SMV of my previous partners but I love him in a way I've never felt before and we have an awesome sex life. I think part of it though is that he is the only guy I have ever dated who made me feel small. I am almost as tall as the average US guy but my fiance is eight inches taller. He also has a good handle on expressing dominant personality traits with me. I respect his ability to lead, which I can't say for any of the other guys I dated in my life. I think at the end of the day that last piece is probably what fuels the attraction above all for me. I am ridiculously head over heels for him almost three years into things. Another thing, he can't dread me based on looks but he can dread the hell out of me without trying simply by existing in the circles he is in and I have seen other women flirt with him in front of me. So, obviously he isn't tragic looking but it is his RMV that humbles me most in the relationship because he outshines me there a good bit.

Dominemm · 2018-09-19T23:22:51+00:00

You can find high SMV with more pleasing traits. I grew up around private school princelings and was grossed out by them right off the bat. Still dated them because that's what was around me, and that's what women are told to want. I was done after 2 and completely ready for college, career and cats. One of the professors at my college (I was friends with his wife in a charity outside school) introduced me to someone who on paper was perfection, so I went with it because the recommend. Nope, turned out adding a few years just makes them better at hiding their self absorption and grossly entitled attitude. You ever been yelled at driving 100 mph swerving through traffic down PCH in a sick car because you didn't hear something King Shit said? I have. The funny thing about that one is the profs wife wasn't in on it, when she heard I got the "Don't waste your life girl, run!" speech which I'd already done. At that point I associated hotness and ambition with trouble and stayed focused on work and school. So much so that I used my lunch break to do homework and sleep in my car often. One day trouble knocked on my car window and asked me if I ever actually eat for lunch. It was an exceptionally slow process even getting to know him as a person let alone actually date but it all worked out very well. Allowing unhinged and narcissism to kill tingles is a good thing, it's a self preservation method in fact. Let it happen, put yourself out there and meet new people.

Edit: my daughter has heard this cautionary tale and she thinks if I'm going to tell it then I should tell it all for context. Guy had a client that was a famous and now deceased animator. He had to go to his house to pick up documents for an art scholarship from him. I was super enthused about this. Get there, he's great, his wife gets everyone lemonade while he's showing me awards in a case and telling random stories. All 4 of us sit down and client asks if I'm wearing panties. Just like commenting on the weather. It didn't process, I said "what?" and he repeated it. In front of everyone. I looked to the wife, I looked to Mr high SMV, everyone was sitting there like "teehee what a delightful sense of humor he has!" I got up and went back to the case without answering, he finished his business and we left. Being in shock over how all that went down, I didn't hear what he said to me and he flipped out and started driving Grand Theft Auto style. I don't even remember what he said, I just remember being terrified and hyperventilating. This was a sudden thing after being technically together for 3 months. So yeah SMV is a thing, tingles are a thing, but there's a reason some high SMV men end up with gold diggers who recognize the best thing that kind of man has to offer.

always_sad12 · 2018-09-19T21:36:33+00:00

Are you serious? Guy number one was low SMV because he laughed too loud?

loneliness-inc · 2018-09-20T02:17:16+00:00

This is one of the main reasons TRP exists altogether. Because so many women are ambivalent or outright turned off by nice, responsible men while being emotionally and sexually attached to reckless, immature bad boys.

I’ve seen this with sooo many other people, women AND men. Guy 1 was far superior to Guy 2 in every other way but sexual attractiveness. This is a big part of what led me to the red pill.

The genders are very far from equal on this matter. Let's not pretend that this is gender neutral.

Blum1989 · 2018-09-19T23:05:57+00:00

What's dread?

Nyctophobia230 · 2018-09-23T15:27:47+00:00

Your post doesn’t have any lessons in it, nor does it provide grounds for a reasonable discussion. You’re literally trying to rationalize to yourself why you feel attracted to shitty, low quality men. This doesn’t tell us anything about SMV.

Title	It’s crazy how much SMV really does matter.
Author	Ruinedgirl22
Upvotes	47
Comments	46
Date	September 19, 2018 8:54 PM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/9h8z6y/its_crazy_how_much_smv_really_does_matter/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/its-crazy-how-much-smv-really-does-matter.75165 https://theredarchive.com/post/75165

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