Hi, hello! This is my first time contributing to this subreddit. I figured that sharing this experience could benefit someone, even as a reminder to practice self-reflection on a regular basis. So: I've been dating my partner for about a year, and we recently went through a rougher patch. I was acting incredible emotional, and being excessively affected by the smallest things (crying, acting impulsively). When you're in this state, it becomes near impossible to doubt or reconsider the nature of your feelings, because the physical effects of distress and anxiety are very much real. You can just assume that the causes for your emotions are valid.

I am generally quite rational, so this erratic and uncontrollable behavior was unusual. My partner ended up sitting me down and expressing his concern; I was acting out of character frequently, and he was almost always on the receiving end of my craziness. It was exhausting for both of us. He suggested I look into the cause, specifically any alterations in my bodily chemicals. I looked into the birth control I was taking, and it turns out it has been banned in several countries. Side effects included severe depression, suicidal thoughts, etc. I've been taking birth control since I was 13 (for period consistency), and have tried a few brands. Thinking back, I was very thin and boy-shaped, and ended up growing boobs and curves a month into starting the pill. It's strange to me now that I was taking this so early on in my development. The main issue here is that I never doubted my doctor's decision to prescribe me these pills. I never researched or looked into it, and assumed that they probably knew what they were talking about. I felt like I could trust any professional. I've been off the pill for a few months now, and I feel fantastic. My testosterone levels have gone up to a healthy level, I've lost weight, my ambition has come back, my libido increased, my depression is gone, and I can think rationally (I haven't cried in weeks???!). I'm looking into trying a different form of contraceptive at the moment. Stopping BP definitely improved my relationship with my partner! Of course I'm not a trained professional, everyone's body is different and BP might be the right choice for a lot of women (you know your body best). I think it's important to be conscious of what you're putting into your body, especially if it effects your chemicals and hormones. Practicing self-reflection is also important; checking in with how you're feeling, and looking into potential causes if you're acting out of character.

Sorry for the long post. I know a lot of women have issues with mood swings, so I figured this might be useful for anyone who hasn't felt like the self in a while. I was relieved to know that I wasn't just crazy, and going back to a neutral state has improved my life tremendously.