Hey ladies, I don’t post much here, but I’ve been lurking for a while and wanted to share something I’ve been reflecting on after a few… enlightening dating experiences.

I used to be super focused on finding a “high-value man.” You know the type: confident, assertive, stoic, knows his worth, doesn’t chase, etc. I genuinely believed I needed to “feminine up,” surrender, and build a man up so he could protect and provide.

So when I met a guy who checked all those “alpha” boxes, I thought, finally, I found him.

He talked like an alpha: •Quoted Marcus Aurelius at brunch. •Said things like “emotions are for the weak“when I told him I had anxiety. •Constantly reminded me of “his frame” and how women should “earn him.”

Red flags? At first, I called them boundaries.

But then things started to fall apart. •He hadn’t seen a dentist in 7 years. •His room smelled like energy drinks and Axe body spray. •His idea of grooming was using a 3-in-1 body/hair/face wash he found under his bed. •He read The Rational Male more than he read my texts.

This “alpha” man talked endlessly about “status” but couldn’t even make eye contact with a waitress. He preached masculinity but flinched when my dad asked him what he did for a living (spoiler: he didn’t). And don’t even get me started on his idea of a “date” (something involving a couch, a crusty controller, and him mansplaining evolutionary biology for two hours).

Here’s the thing I wish someone told me sooner: “High-value” isn’t how many red pill quotes a man can recite. It’s how he smells, how he treats people, and how often he washes his sheets.

Looks matter. Hygiene matters. Having a job matters. Not acting like women are NPCs in a dating sim? Massive bonus.

You can preach “dominance” and “frame” all you want, but if you look like you spawned from a Reddit post and act like a 4chan ghostwriter, it doesn’t matter how masculine you think you are. You’re just… weird. And girls can feel it.

So yeah, I’ve learned my lesson.

Next time a guy tells me he’s an “alpha male,” I’m checking if his towels are clean, his nails are clipped, and his therapist knows his name.

Ladies: don’t settle for an aesthetic. Settle for a functioning adult.

Trust me.