~ archived since 2018 ~

This sub has made my relationship better!

February 15, 2022

Just to get this out of the way, I’m a leftist. 90% of my politics are left leaning, so I never thought that I would end up here.

That being said, I’m a 20 year old stay at home mom to an eight month old boy. I was poking around Reddit recently looking for a sub dedicated to homemakers/stay at home moms. r/SAHP and r/Homemaking didn’t have the things I was looking for. Actually, r/SAHP really bummed me out, seeing as it is mostly populated with rants and people hating their kids/partners/life. I’m glad there’s a place for them to go for validation, but that’s not what I wanted.

Specifically, I’ve really wanted to learn how to be less of a nag, how to improve my relationship, and how to enjoy life in my situation.

I’m so much happier now that I’ve joined this sub. I realized that I don’t need to bitch and whine at my husband to wash the dishes. That chore specifically created a ton of stress and annoyance for both of us, so I changed the method we use. Now I wash the dishes every night before bed, and they don’t pile up. Also, since they don’t pile up, my husband is more likely to wash the dishes on a night that I can’t.

I find y’all’s advice on how to make men happy really helpful. I’ve been working on myself, losing weight, drinking more water, taking care of my skin, and I’m starting to feel better about myself. I know my husband is glad he doesn’t have to constantly hear about how ugly or fat I think I am lol. My self esteem is at an all time high!

So yeah, thank you to all the women in this sub! And if you’re a left-leaning lurker (like me) wondering if this is the way to live, I hope my story gives you some comfort!

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[–]HumanSockPuppetTRP Founder 66 points67 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

You are emotionally mature enough to recognize and claim your share of the responsibility for the health of your relationship. Be sure to give yourself credit too.

[–]Advanced_Bar_673 19 points20 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

There are quite a few of "us" in this community, and the great thing about RPW is that (unbeknownst to many), it's not just for Christians or traditionalists or right-leaning conservatives... Literally none of that matters at the core because it's all about women (and some men) learning "what makes us tick", where we usually f*CK up, and how to take personal responsibility in forming respectful, functional relationships with men in our lives. I'm by no means religious or traditional, and I'm genuinely happy this community exists to provide knowledge and feedback to me.

[–]HappilyMrs 13 points14 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

There's a lot of left leaning women here. It's okay to be progressive but choose a relationship style that is more traditional. RPW is a toolbox, not a political/social club you can or cant belong to :)

[–]Ok_Obligation_6110 12 points13 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Same here!! I’m left leaning but this is sub has been such a positive and encouraging space, especially when in my very liberal circle of friends no one seems to understand how or why my husband and I choose to have traditional roles in our marriage.

[–]BumbleBitny 53 points54 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

I'm left leaning so you're not alone here! I was actually thinking about this the other day how people view this sub as being really bad and hateful. I've heard there's subreddits that will ban you if you're a contributor to this one.

When in reality all the advice I've seen here has pretty much been "you can't change people but you can change yourself" "no one else is in charge of your happiness you need to make yourself happy." "Be nicer to your spouse and they'll likely be nicer to you. People like being nice to people that make them feel good." "Take care of yourself and it'll raise your self worth making you happier in the long run"

And yet in almost every other marriage sub it's "get divorced he's weaponizing ignorance" "give him ultimatums until he does what you want" "withhold sex until he's the man you want him to be" "book an undiscussed day trip and just leave him and the kids. He needs to learn how hard you have it."

[–]ziggystarshine 16 points17 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I’m also left leaning and have never really been “offended” by anything I’ve seen on here. If a woman posts that she’s in a crappy relationship, nobody is replying and telling her to get over it and stay — people offer real advice but are also honest about us sometimes having to take personal responsibility. I think people get thrown off by the “redpill” name but truthfully this sub is much kinder to men and women than any relationships-focused sub I’ve seen.

[–]snarkypirate 5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Yep - I definitely am banned from a couple of subreddits because I've commented here. And nothing crazy, I think just about doing dishes / negotiating chores!

I am also a pretty left-leaning person, but my husband and I have a very traditional marriage because we've discovered that's what works for us. I appreciate all the nuanced advice that generally gets offered here, and that people try really hard to give strategies for improving relationships rather than just the nuclear option from the beginning.

[–]FriendCountZero 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I see these two ideologies in many parts of life and it always makes me think, do you want to be right or to be happy? The RPW way makes women happy. Accepting reality instead of fighting it makes a person happy.

[–]ParamedicCapable6484 9 points10 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Aww I was 19 when I had my first. This sub def would have come in handy. If I could go back in time I would have found Jesus alot sooner and loved & appreciated my daughter's father more deeply back then. We're married now and I love this sub too as a newlywed. Congrats love to hear the good news . Proverbs 31 is a great chapter for wisdom.

[–]rotisserieshithead-[S] 7 points8 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Thank you! I’m also working my way through believing in god/my relationship with Christianity. I’ve always been an atheist but recently I’ve been feeling the pull towards religion.

[–]trashy615 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

The more I learn about astrophysics the more I believe in God.

[–]SixWeasel 58 points59 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I'm a man and have a similar conclusion about this sub. The women are so mature, straight forward, and genuine. I'm glad left wing people can come and learn from more conservative mindsets, it's healthy. This sub has given me a better idea of what women expect from their partners.

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Leftie aethist myself and have found alot of useful practical advice. I think there's true tried and tested knowledge here that's a benefit to all backgrounds.

[–]Cheesycatbiscuit 7 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Agree! I'm 20 as well and just found out about this sub. I'm glad I found people that have the same view as me. I've learned alot from the Women here and still am learning.

[–]Noressa 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

You'll find a wide variety of people on this sub. The important thing is to find what works for you and what makes your life a better place. My mom taught me when I was young (I was always asking why she didn't expect dad to clean up when he made so many of the messes she was picking up) sometimes the argument isn't worth it. If I know my husband is going to leave his laundry on the ground, which is better for harmony? Picking it up and doing the laundry, or poking him until he picks it up and does it himself?

For me, it's a time cost. In the amount of time it takes me to ask him to do a thing, and hope it gets done, I can pick it up, do it, and lower that resentment. Of course, he's aware of the time cost that I have. The more I'm doing other things, the less time I have for others. So if he wants more relax time/etc, I need more help with the kids/house chores/etc. And in this, I'll ask for help, or he'll ask what he can do. This lets me manage the time that I have while still making accommodations for his time needs when it comes up. Less friction, better management of the house. (Not to say it can't be exhausting!)

[–]alien_eater289 5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I’m also left leaning and I love this sub. I’m so glad the advice here is helping you. Welcome!

[–]MuseofPetrichor 1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

How did you motivate yourself to lose weight? (I feel like I've been on a "weight loss journey" forever and have nothing to show for it. I exercise, but it doesn't burn a lot of calories, because it's mostly for pain and to help combat being so sedentary.) I do hate my husband having to be stuck with someone who is so weak-willed and has such bad will-power. I know it disappoints him, but I just can't seem to fix it.

[–]winchester-rose 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I have no motivation advice for you. Just wanted to comment because I have felt and sometimes still do feel stuck in the same spot, in a way. I think I’ve been on a diet in one form or fashion every day since I was about eleven years old. Sad but true.

What works for me is a lower carb / higher protein diet and weight training. I feel and look much better. I’ve also let go of any thoughts of what I might look like and realized I can only strive to be the healthiest version of myself possible. My pear body shape will never allow me to look slim or willowy, so I learned to dress what I’ve got for maximum effect.

It’s hard. It still makes me sad some days and I’ve worked with a therapist to get here but I will say that the effort is worth it.

[–][deleted]  (5 children) | Copy Link

[permanently deleted]

[–]pearlsandstilettosModerator | Pearl[M] 3 points4 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Gtfo with this. RP is a toolbox open to anyone. Removed

[–]rotisserieshithead-[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy Link


[–]rotisserieshithead-[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Do you mind explaining what is so intriguing about those facts?

[–][deleted]  (1 child) | Copy Link

[permanently deleted]

[–]i_have_a_semicolon 3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Odd reaction for sure... Anyways I had the same reaction as you when I found rpw 10 years ago, I was also 20! It is useful stuff.

[–]hugpie264 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I feel like your post has confirmed to me that I need this community in my life too.

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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