- Dark skinned POC
- Socially/physically attractive (above average)
- In my mid twenties
Currently working in a medical clinic
Soooo I’m currently doing clinicals and it is HELL. Not for the reasons many would think though. Yes, having to attend classes and do coursework while ALSO working a 40 hour work week is difficult but that is something that I was prepared for.
(And not something I plan on doing long term— once I’m married with children)
What I was NOT prepared for was the amount of female coworkers that passionately put their effort into trying to sabotage the success of other female coworkers.
The only reason why I know this is because of how I look is because of (1) the staring I received and 2) the compliments I received.
When I first joined the clinic I went into it with the goal of being friendly towards everyone; And making sure that I was the nonjudgmental person that people could go to because- at the end of the day we’re all just trying to do the best we could. Times are hard.
At first things went smoothly.
I know I’m pretty and both patients and staff would stare at me and give me compliments (which was fine because staring is something I’ve experienced since childhood), I seemed to have made quite a few acquaintances, coworkers would give me compliments on what I wore- I would tell them and we would have girl chat, I bonded with a few ppl on my current fitness journey, we would give each we work advice etc. things were good!
Fast forward to now.
I have been here for about a year and boy oh boy have things changed.
The same ppl I saw as my “work friends” now look for opportunities to embarrass me in front of staff and our supervisors, make snide comments about how I dress like “who am I trying to impress in the hospital” and give me the cold shoulder.
At first I thought it was because maybe I was not pulling my weight on my floor but I’ve always received positive reviews from patients and my supervisors— And that is when I realized that this is either due to jealousy or envy idk which one.
I’m usually good at pinpointing this because I’ve dealt with this all my life however, being in this helping profession and experiencing this type of energy really shocked me and is making my time here very unenjoyable.
I am now anxious before work and literally shake when I think about having to be around certain ppl.
This is absolutely foreign to me because before doing this program, I was confident, and full of life and joy but now I just feel sad and unsure of myself….idk.