~ archived since 2018 ~

Working in a female-dominated profession as a young woman has really shown me that women are our own worst enemy.

August 8, 2022
  • Dark skinned POC
  • Socially/physically attractive (above average)
  • In my mid twenties
  • Currently working in a medical clinic

    Soooo I’m currently doing clinicals and it is HELL. Not for the reasons many would think though. Yes, having to attend classes and do coursework while ALSO working a 40 hour work week is difficult but that is something that I was prepared for.

(And not something I plan on doing long term— once I’m married with children)

What I was NOT prepared for was the amount of female coworkers that passionately put their effort into trying to sabotage the success of other female coworkers.

The only reason why I know this is because of how I look is because of (1) the staring I received and 2) the compliments I received.

When I first joined the clinic I went into it with the goal of being friendly towards everyone; And making sure that I was the nonjudgmental person that people could go to because- at the end of the day we’re all just trying to do the best we could. Times are hard.

At first things went smoothly.

I know I’m pretty and both patients and staff would stare at me and give me compliments (which was fine because staring is something I’ve experienced since childhood), I seemed to have made quite a few acquaintances, coworkers would give me compliments on what I wore- I would tell them and we would have girl chat, I bonded with a few ppl on my current fitness journey, we would give each we work advice etc. things were good!

Fast forward to now.

I have been here for about a year and boy oh boy have things changed.

The same ppl I saw as my “work friends” now look for opportunities to embarrass me in front of staff and our supervisors, make snide comments about how I dress like “who am I trying to impress in the hospital” and give me the cold shoulder.

At first I thought it was because maybe I was not pulling my weight on my floor but I’ve always received positive reviews from patients and my supervisors— And that is when I realized that this is either due to jealousy or envy idk which one.

I’m usually good at pinpointing this because I’ve dealt with this all my life however, being in this helping profession and experiencing this type of energy really shocked me and is making my time here very unenjoyable.

I am now anxious before work and literally shake when I think about having to be around certain ppl.

This is absolutely foreign to me because before doing this program, I was confident, and full of life and joy but now I just feel sad and unsure of myself….idk.

TheRedArchive is an archive of Red Pill content, including various subreddits and blogs. This post has been archived from the subreddit /r/RedPillWomen.

/r/RedPillWomen archive

Download the post

Want to save the post for offline use on your device? Choose one of the download options below:

Post Information
Title Working in a female-dominated profession as a young woman has really shown me that women are our own worst enemy.
Author WorthSevere5323
Upvotes 120
Comments 34
Date August 8, 2022 7:15 AM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit /r/RedPillWomen
Archive Link
Original Link

[–]MycologistDeep5747 89 points90 points  (5 children) | Copy Link

Ive come to the realization that insecure women are the worst. Im a fashion model and nobody calls me names besides the crusty girls in my university. When you meet girls that are confident and/or mind their business then you'll see its only the crusty musty insecure little women that treat you that way. It sucks that you dont have anyone (but the people on top) that appreciate you tho.

[–]hannita1 points [recovered] (2 children) | Copy Link

crusty musty might not be best description cause it makes it sound like its only women who don't take care of themselves or the quiet ones. ive met plenty of attractive women that take very good care of themselves, that appear very social, that are still incredibly insecure and competitive with other woman. 0 confidence despite all the work they put in.

[–]MycologistDeep5747 8 points9 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Nahnahnah, crusty musty in their mind, not only the ones that look like it.

[–]mei_pendleton 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

A lot of them aren’t necessarily crusty appearance wise but a lot of them are insecure and hate you because you have something they don’t.

[–]WorthSevere5323[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I’m so glad that you posted this because sometimes it can feel like you’re the only one dealing with things like this. Being that you’re a fashion model I know you definitely get it. Thanks.

[–]ginapicklelifestyle 5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

This! In my university as well whenever I’d try to be be friends with someone not as societally attractive they’d try to compete with me or would make snide comments about my appearance even though that was the furthest thing from my mind. Insecurity breeds toxicity

[–]TheBunk_TB 24 points25 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I have used the term "The Herd" or "herding". When you are outside of "The Herd", you run into some of this stuff.

[–]leftajar1 Star 10 points11 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Extremeley relevant article: all-female marketing firm implodes due to infighting.

It's a fun read.

[–]Independent-Hall4929 10 points11 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Maybe make an effort to be more charming and personable. Try and be more relatable, so they don’t feel so insecure. It’s sad, but you’ll have to go over and beyond due to your looks. Otherwise look for a new role. No need to be this stressed everyday.

[–]WorthSevere5323[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I feel like I actually make too much of an effort tbh…. I’ll see what I can do though, I guess it wouldn’t hurt. Thanks.

[–]Redlimetree 17 points18 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I understand your frustrations.

Workplace politics are hell. Especially if you shine above insecure people (of either gender). It's only insecure people who pull other people down to make themselves look better.

[–]fatbitchonline 9 points10 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

this level of immaturity happens a lot and it’s so sad seeing women talk about these experiences and being told that they’re the problem because “well why else wouldn’t all these girls like you?” and then they categorize you as a “not like the other girls” girl.

i’m really sorry you have to put up with their bullying. they’re no better than some middle school girl making rude comments to their classmate. that is honestly what that behavior reminds me of.

they’re envious and insecure of you and what you have. it reflects on them, not you. honestly if it were me, i’d really shut it down the next time someone does that. i can put up with bullshit from people, especially coworkers, but if it shows no signs of stopping, i’d speak up. you can kindly, professionally, calmly, yet firmly tell them that what they’re doing is not okay, and how it makes you feel, and that they wouldn’t like it if it was done to them. don’t be aggressive, but be assertive. you’re right for doing it, you’ll look right to them and others too, and they’ll embarrass themselves.

[–]WorthSevere5323[S] 4 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

I’ve taken your advice!

When I read your comment I was a bit nervous because I’m not usually confrontational unless it’s with family (because I’m comfortable with them).

But I actually stood up to someone (in a calm manner, which I am very proud about) and I definitely noticed a shift in the energy from the ppl in the area.

I don’t think it was expected, but it felt good for me to do.

It wasn’t anything big, it was just a passive aggressive comment that I called out but I definitely noticed a difference.

So thanks for the push.

[–]fatbitchonline 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

yayyy that’s wonderful!! i’m so glad i was able to help! i’m super happy for you!! :D

confronting people on their comments is not easy, especially in the work place. good for you and i hope that things get a lot better for you from here, which it sounds like it will. sometimes just saying the right thing can make a bully realize that what they said was wrong, and they seriously reflect on that. good luck to you at work and i hope your workplace environment keeps improving!! 💗💞

[–]rebeccabrixton 15 points16 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Yes yes YES! I’ve been collecting non-insecure women mates all my life, something about my fairly pretty face and very positive personality really pisses them off. I’ve noticed the fatter and older I’ve gotten, the more friends I make. Glad you can see the female nature at one of its worse, we women are great but also have our blind spots.

[–]_Pumpkin_Muffin 4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I'm sorry you're going through a stressful time. At the beginning everyone was friendly, from what I understand. Why do you think that changed?

[–]cast-away-ramadi06 3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Hey, just letting you know that this is your sign that you have poor leadership at work. High performing / high status men also have to deal with the similair dynamics in toxic work cultures. That's why the best advice I can give you is to seek out higher performing teams to be a part of - they simply won't have the time or emotional energy to put up with the kind of toxicity you're describing.

[–]luxeluxeluxe 4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Avoid feminists at all costs. Nothing good will come from befriending such people. Try and find other red pill type women.

[–]Shortstraw-777 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Yup! I’ve had to experience this at work. They try to find your insecurities or something imperfect about you and then try to use it against you. They HATE to hear people say good things about you.

[–]VasiliyZaitzevTRP Senior Endorsed 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Who knew women could be catty? You ran into some bitter cranks, who are jealous of your youth, fitness and beauty. How do you go through life, you’ll have to learn to collect the cool people, and let the aholes go. Your coworkers are, for the most part, your coworkers. They are not your friends. A few will cross over from the coworker to friend barrier but not really that many.

Good luck, and don’t take too much personally.

[–]LightOverWater 3 points4 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

Socially attractive

What does this mean?

[–]Tasha31 10 points11 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

"I know I’m pretty and both patients and staff would stare at me and give me compliments (which was fine because staring is something I’ve experienced since childhood)"


This is social proof of attractiveness.

[–]LightOverWater 8 points9 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Oh social proof. So just, physical attractiveness. I thought it meant something like "makes people laugh in group settings."

[–]WorthSevere5323[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

@Tasha31 is correct! I forgot to put the slash mark and add the word “physically”.

[–]Teacup0001 Star 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Oh man, as much as I wish you weren't going through this, it's comforting to know I'm not alone.

It's sad that having something that others want is enough to make them dislike you, regardless of your character. It's also enough to void you of sympathy (think of how much we feel sorry for Hollywood stars).

I spent a lot of my school age years trying to dumb myself down in the areas I excelled. I still feel a bit uncomfortable when people comment on my looks.

It feels so awful to wonder if the reason I struggle in my friendships with other young women is because I'm considered pretty and slim. It's much easier to think I must just have a huge ego and am missing some massive personality flaw that's turning people away.

They say it's lonely at the top, right?

I've decided to steer into the skid. I'll just keep improving myself until I can feel confident, and not guilty, about my genetic advantages. My husband loves me and encourages my personal growth, which is a great source of motivation.

[–]free_breakfast_2 Stars 1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Crab Mentality

Tall Poppy Syndrome

The people you work with can make or break your job. Ultimately, it's best to try to surround yourself with people that will have your back, support you, and care for you. But that's not always going to be the available option, so you'll need to get ready for corporate land.

[–]VasiliyZaitzevTRP Senior Endorsed 2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

My CorporateLand posts are available by clicking the link. Bear in mind that these are written in a jocular tone for a male audience, but if you can get past the tone you may find useful info.

Mostly all of my top-level posts are at r-UncleVasya but if you read the “After Hours” and others sections, it is highly likely that Pearls Will Be Clutched and/or Vapors Will Be Had. Fair warning. Of course there will be a subgroup that thinks ”I’m not saying I’m into it, but a lot of that stuff sounds HOT!” Fair warning, again. I am a bit wicked, and known to corrupt people in the best possible ways. /heh

[–]WorthSevere5323[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Woah, I definitely have a lot of studying to do. Thanks for the resources, I needed them.

[–]Glad-Discount-4761 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I feel you.I already learnt when I was in college. Now I am glad I don't have sister.

One girl was nice to me and used to talk nicely with my first bf,I found out he started affair with her(I don't know if it is her fault or his)

On my second bf,my friends used to tell me do this or that ,he is wrong or why I am being too kind or whatever.Sadly I listened to them.Relationship ended.

In my country,for some government jobs,we have to take exam for it.In work, whenever I get break.I used to prepare for it( like watching tutorials in phone).Some women (they were my friends)decided to tell this to my boss but they said I don't do any work just doing another stuff (which is lie).I always complete work and give it to boss at proper time. Somehow,I got fired.

I was confused.I was not even like pretty woman.What would be they jealous about?I thought maybe they are trying to bring me down so I don't succeed.

From that day,I never looked at women same way.I always roll my eyes when I hear about sisterhood. I decided to stop making friends with women.

There is reason why you see mother in law issues not father in law.I will never believe woman are more kind than man

Now only have 1 female friend and rest are guys. I never felt so much better and literally stress was gone

[–]CyberTutu 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I'm sending you a virtual hug but I know that won't help you much as it wouldn't help me.

I'm in my mid/late 20s and above average attractive, a white passing POC, green eyes, 170cm tall, also currently working in a demanding clinical role. I've always known that women get jealous, and have known to be careful and expected them to undermine me.

Sadly in my case I also learned a lot of social skills later in life and haven't been social for most of my younger years, as various family issues outside of my control meant I led an isolated childhood and early life.

But the thing is, you will always find some women who will be nice to you and will want to be your friend. Either because they have as much as you have, or less commonly because thye're just extra kind and nonjealous people. They may be few and far in between, but they exist. So in my mind it's always better to keep putting myself out there, trying new things, meeting new people going out more - probably putting in MORE effort doing these things than most people. Try to make friends with similarly attractive people.

It's also important to appreciate your beauty and what you have and use that as motivation when external motivation is lacking.

I wish I had better advice - sometimes it becomes difficult to motivate myself using this alone - but this is the best I have. Will look at the advice the other ladies have written below.

[–]StephJ___ 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I'm sorry this is happening to you. I don't have much advice but wanted to share a friend of mine related to me during her clinicals another classmate showed up drunk, passed out in front of elderly patients, and the teacher literally drove her home and she went on to pass anyway. Honestly they might have the same sort of issues going on now that I think about it. She said she looked at the profession differently after that incident too, so you're not alone in just feeling overwhelmed.

[–]aussiedollface2 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Straight up facts. Be careful who you keep in your inner circle. I’ve found that surrounding myself with similar value women is better, not because I’m shallow, but because I got sick of the BS lowkey cut downs and snide remarks xo

[–]Such_Beginning_1629 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

That is the employer dividing you, setting up expectations and demanding you all go above and beyond to keep your job. I worked in a field that also has a very competition oriented flair around it while being a care job first and foremost.

[–]whorledstar 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

You need to read 48 Laws of Power.

“Be wary of friends— they will betray you more quickly, for they are easily aroused to envy. They also become spoiled and tyrannical. But hire a former enemy and he will be more loyal than a friend, because he has more to prove. In fact, you have more to fear from friends than from enemies. If you have no enemies, find a way to make them.”

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

© TheRedArchive 2023. All rights reserved.
created by /u/dream-hunter