After you kill the neediness, bring down your defenses.

magicalbird · 2013-10-29T04:25:46+00:00

You can be authentic and show your feelings with an indifferent frame. This is called amused mastery which is on the sidebar.

This is a good balance between game and MGTOW.

TRPsubmitter · 2013-10-29T05:37:31+00:00

If that has been your RP "journey" and mindset, more power to you. This is definitely a path many here have taken.

But there are some of us here that have been like this and it came naturally and organically without any "incident" or "trigger". We just are the way we are. For me, I came here and found I already was pretty RP, and I think there are others like that too. I've never really trusted girls (or people in general) since I was young. I saw how they worked even in elementary school and disdained their shit. I wasn't always the player I am now, but I also certainly never put girls on a pedestal ever. And I was banging girls a ton even before I fully discovered TRP. For me, TRP simply clarified, distilled and provided labels for general things about women I already knew & experienced. Then of course, there are plenty of specific details and nuanced theory I continue to learn here...

So whenever I see self.posts like "I was so bitter and angry and lonely, thank you RP!" or "I was devastated, so I decided never to let myself become hurt again!" or "The RP was so hard to swallow"...I just can't relate to that at all. To me, it portrays everyone here as formerly socially awkward guys who had nowhere to turn after being marginalized by all girls in our lives. That seems like a backhanded way to undermine TRP by portraying everyone who uses it as reformed losers.

So when I read "We forget to take our guard down once we no longer need it.", I can't relate to that. I don't feel like I'm carrying this burden of secretly longing for connection or putting my "defenses" up so I won't get hurt. I have heard feminists and other girls who know me try to shame me by saying the exact same things; trying to redefine TRP experience as relevant only because its substrate (me or you) was a lonely/awkward to begin with. It's patronizing.

That's my concern. I'm not ragging on you and I'm not saying I was/am a natural; I just wanted to offer a separate perspective and make sure people know that TRP isn't necessarily a "medication for pain". It's also a "supplement" and "amplifier" for what's already inherently there. And guys who did come from a socially awkward background still become epic RP machines...because the one thing about guys is they see a problem, assess it and make the necessary changes to themselves to solve the problem.

redpill80 · 2013-10-29T07:01:47+00:00

Girls have confided in me that a man "opening up" to them gives them as big of a dopamine rush as sex does for men. This is because vulnerability is actually a MAJOR sign of a good catch- only a man secure in himself would be willing to put down his walls. It MUST come from an alpha man, though.

Girls love it. This is where the stereotype of 'girls being the more empathetic sex' or 'bringing out her inner nurse' come from. It's the reason the 'fairer sex' stereotype from Disney movies exists. It's also the reason why feminists tell men to open up more and be emotional, and why they attack TRPs advice to be stoic. They're right in a sense. Women LOVE when men open up, and they love doling out love and tenderness to these men...but only when it's alpha men opening up, if she perceives you as beta then she'll see you as being pathetic.

CrustsRemoved · 2013-10-29T12:55:45+00:00

This is refreshingly optimistic in a sub that can be a little bleak at times. I get it, the game is rigged from the start, but when you realize that the rules are made up and the points don't matter you can have fun with it.

PlanB_pedofile · 2013-10-29T16:20:57+00:00

Why would you be afraid of telling a woman that she's beautiful, that she turns you on, that you like such and such thing about her? Why would you be afraid of telling the truth about your intentions?

I find it red pill being honest with what I want. A gal asked me "do you believe in love?" I honestly replied "love is subjective, I do believe in lust" which segued into other conversation. But the confidence of just going out there and essentially admitting "yea, im a guy, I like to sex" goes further than giving some lame dishonest reply.

This beta shit of beating around the bush is just keeping you beta.

Do you find a girl hot? Own it, tell her she's hot. Think she's bangin? Tell her she's bangin. Women work hard at looking hot, the least we can do is acknowledge it.

OffensiveLineWriter · 2013-10-29T11:52:50+00:00

Why would you be afraid of telling the truth about your intentions?

I take this rant with a grain of salt - sure don't be so bitter, stop relying on indifference so much and enjoy yourself.. Okay got it...

I just don't think honesty is the best policy, even if you really internalize your god complex. I think dishonesty to avoid revealing a known negative aspect of yourself in order to maintain social status is a great skill. It's a basic skill needed to hold alternate politically incorrect views in society and still achieve your goals.

The only way full blown honesty works anywhere is if ALL your views are easily digestible, agreeable and presented in a way that causes attraction which would likely mean they rely on validation in the social sense anyway and I prefer to define my morals on my own.

Bobwayne17 · 2013-10-29T10:06:56+00:00

Hey,

This post really resonates with me and was something great to read. The comments are all superb as well, as expected by the userbase here.

I don't post a lot, but I started following TRP a few months ago, after learning I had been cheated on (again) for essentially no reason, and I thought all I had was to blame myself.

I saw in another comment you said how you thought you were red pill at heart, but everything around you was blue pill and it caused a lot of conflict for you. That's how I feel too. I feel like I've been set free, surrounded by people with the same feelings as I do. People with experiences I can share in, insight I can take in, and people that I can really LEARN from. In my life, I had a lot of blue pill role models and I couldn't connect with them because it wasn't "me", but I wanted to fit in with my friends and family members and not come off as someone I felt they wouldn't like, so I took the blue pill and tried my best.

Time and time again, I was screwed over, manipulated, and hurt by a girl I had put on a huge pedestal. I didn't kiss a girl until I was 18 (for reference, I'm 21) and for the longest time I would only be with one girl, at one time, ever.

Now, I feel like I'm finally free. I feel like I can be who I was meant to be, not worry about society and how they view me (I'm labeled a douchebag by the majority of people around me now), and I can continue learning more about how to improve myself, and improve my game. Finding all of this was so eye opening for me, and now I feel like I have up'd my game once more by reading and resonating with your post, about how to let go and enjoy life even further. You're totally right with everything you said, and I'm gonna strive to work towards that now just like my other red pill goals of the day.

Thanks a lot man.

steadymotion · 2013-10-29T12:33:14+00:00

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RcskaSedd · 2013-10-29T05:09:50+00:00

thank you, i'm actually going through this stage of putting up my walls too much, slowly breaking them down. For a while i was closed off, and the girls that i see would ask me why i am soo closed off, but it was that fear of being manipulated again, but you know what, i probadly will be manipulated again, and again, and again, but that doesn't mean i shouldn't trust people or block everyone from my life, no, it means i need to be a proper leader and CHOOSE the right friends and see the right women for me. This problem i am facing (trouble connecting with all women) is slowly being resolved, as much as i want to get this all fixed by tomorrow, i cant, it will take time. thanks for this post, needed it. I was going full redpill mode now i need to relax.

steadymotion · 2013-10-29T07:59:31+00:00

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steadymotion · 2013-10-29T08:36:48+00:00

Hey! Thanks for the post, I've been thinking about this a lot recently. I wanted to get your (and anyone else's) opinion on something pertinent. I've realized that I assume attractive women are bitches. The kind that tries to be super stylish, etc., I always assume they're gonna be catty and dismissive, but most of the time theyre super nice. I have no personal context to hold such a belief, so I was wondering if anyone else had some insight

SwoleLottaLove · 2013-10-29T10:41:42+00:00

Great post. People who can't be vulnerable and open with women (or anyone) are missing out on life, big time.

Archwinger · 2013-10-29T14:14:33+00:00

Why don't Red Pill guys tell women they're beautiful and that they want to have sex with them, as the lavish their approval and smiles upon them? It's not because they're afraid and defensive and haven't let those walls down. It's because doing that doesn't freaking work. Telling a girl she's pretty and being nice and pleasant as you open up about your wants and feelings is the surefire way to go home alone.

"I think you're pretty and want to have sex with you."

"I think you're a creep and should have saved your validation and praise until later, and definitely given me plausible deniability about the sex we were going to have if you really wanted to score."

Yeah, yeah, there's a whole legion of literature out there about how you could do that a certain way, with a certain frame, tone, body language, approach, etc., and still be attractive yet open and honest at the same time. But it's a lot easier and more efficient to just not shower women with niceties. It's tough to have a real conversation with a woman. They're on another planet and they don't get it. If you have a conversation with a woman and walk away feeling like you connected, that's all in your head. She's walking away feeling something entirely different -- maybe she still feels like you connected, but for totally different reasons and in totally different ways.

nathanisfat · 2013-10-29T08:22:59+00:00

Heh. All the stuff thebluepill complains about.

JonFrost25 · 2013-10-29T14:39:55+00:00

Very good points.

Have you read Mark Manson's Models? Lot's of solid advice on 'Vulnerability Game.' Here's a good primer:

http://markmanson.net/vulnerability

_whistler · 2013-10-29T16:29:51+00:00

Well said, brother!

TheeRyanGrey · 2013-10-30T02:16:42+00:00

push pull

cold indifference intense passion

closed off wildly open

learning to mix vulnerability into your masculinity is a huge part of things

plopliar · 2013-11-05T18:33:12+00:00

It's only after we've lost everything that we're free to do anything. - Tyler Durden

2013-10-29T04:25:59+00:00

I really like this. I've been finding TRP hard to swallow, being new to the sub, but this I can agree with. The best experiences I've had with the opposite sex is when neither of us have needed/wanted anything from the other, except to have a good time.

monsieurhire2 · 2013-10-29T05:24:37+00:00

Sounds like you're on the right track. Good job.

dischordiasnightmare · 2013-10-29T07:36:20+00:00

You're like... Yoda...

IAMTHEDEATHMACHINE · 2013-10-29T13:56:08+00:00

Sounds like somebody takes Mark Manson to heart. I think that's a good thing, by the way. Nice little write up.

this-is-my-work-acct · 2013-10-29T14:42:20+00:00

Good post brother. You've put to words what has been bouncing around in my head for quite some time.

Like others have said, lowering your guard and opening up is attractive to women only if it comes from a man secure in himself.

thewrightstuff88 · 2013-10-29T15:06:37+00:00

this is great, it likes climbing out of the deep dark hole that is TBP a new man, yet these are like an added set of values, not just something separate from TRP. Being vulnerable is all part of the male sexual strategy, in a way that exudes straightforwardness and cuts through the bullshit. Now, I advocate this but probably when the time is right, when some comfort has been made with who you talk to, but nonetheless, even if it doesn't work, being outcome independent is what you turn to next so you don't let the results of your actions affect you.

LetsImprove · 2013-10-29T15:35:11+00:00

Thank you, man. I have no idea how, but you just struck a chord so deep with me. This is exactly how i have been feeling. Took the red pill a year ago, and my behavior started changing. At one point it just became too much, and i need to realise that i'm still a human being. I am extremely satisfied with taking the red pill, but this is just what i needed. Thanks.

steadymotion · 2013-10-29T17:57:21+00:00

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jaypeejay · 2013-10-29T17:59:30+00:00

OP, thanks for writing this. Very well said man.

LuciusExitius · 2013-10-29T20:44:49+00:00

RedPill is about being yourself and not giving a fuck what others think. You should be happy and smiling all the time. Give no one power over you or your emotions. If you like a girl and you hit it off good, if she doesn't and she leaves then you continue having fun with others.

2013-10-29T23:50:59+00:00

kumbaya motherfucer

steadymotion · 2013-10-29T07:43:21+00:00

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iggybdawg · 2013-10-29T16:50:43+00:00

Why would you be afraid of telling a woman that she's beautiful, that she turns you on, that you like such and such thing about her?

It's not that I'm afraid to tell my wife these things, it's that she doesn't respond to them by having sex with me (which is what our relationship is running low on right now). She fills my sexual needs better when I tease her, play wrestle with her, stand up to her shit.

Title	After you kill the neediness, bring down your defenses.
Author	steadymotion
Upvotes	129
Comments	84
Date	October 29, 2013 4:10 AM UTC (12 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/TheRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/1pfynm/after_you_kill_the_neediness_bring_down_your/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/TheRedPill/after-you-kill-the-neediness-bring-down-your.7540 https://theredarchive.com/post/7540

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