I recently turned 30. I’ve built myself up over the past couple of years; good career, nice car, money saved up, promising side hustle, lots of job offers. But I have a lingering problem. I had a troubled Mom, and very much want to save people.
The week of my birthday, I had somewhat of a vision. It’s very difficult to describe, but I’ll never forget it. It felt like I was communing with Lucifer, in his pre fallen form. My unconscious was trying to tell me something very deep. I wasn’t high, wasn’t psychotic, was awake and just listening very intently to a lingering thought in the back of my head.
I decided to help a prostitute I’d seen get clean. I regret seeing prostitutes, although they had some utility. It takes a bit of your soul when sex is that transactional. But it did teach me things.
This would be my final lesson in that regard. I put myself in danger to find this person. She told me her Dad abused her, and her Dad’s name. She told me where she grew up. I was able to confirm that info. I visited one of her female handlers and learned about her psychotic boyfriend and corroborated some of her sob story.
All the while I knew there were two distinct possibilities for what was going through her head: “is this person actually trying to help me/how do I know they’re real”, “how do I extract as much money from this sucker as possible”. I wanted to test and see which was most likely.
Some signs pointed towards her just being very damaged/zonked out but actually being receptive to help. Called me and said she was kicked out of her motel, asking for money. Brought her to get a sandwich later and talk about detox, started crying when I told her I wasn’t going to give her money/I couldn’t trust that she would just take it, get drugs, and leave. Was telling me she didn’t want to keep selling herself. Told me she was excited about the thought of detox and getting her life back.
Other signs didn’t. She was texting a lot w/ who she claimed was her bf’s Mom when I drove her to get a sandwich. I had sent multiple texts trying to ask what she needed to get clean/tried to send her inspirational videos, got nothing. Asked if she wanted me to stop, got nothing. All of her emotional opening up was always in a context where money could help.
She said she got a bed for a detox place. Just needed to get there before Noon. Called/texted her weekend before. Nothing. Day of. Nothing. Took a half day at work to drive her, got a single text saying “hi”. I told her I’d burn the number by a certain time unless I got a response before then saying where she was/what happened. Nothing. Burned the number.
Pretended to be a John yesterday so she’d pick up. I told her who it was and asked what happened. She hung up on me.
All the signs point to a grift. She was playing me/was hoping to get extra cash out of me. I knew that was likely going in. But DAMN were there points where she was convincing. It’s also possible she wanted me to sweep her away and fix everything for her with zero effort on her part. Neither are acceptable.
Men are hardwired to protect women, and psychopathic women, like I think this one was, exploit that quite convincingly. Be very careful. If I had given her more info I might have gotten burned quite badly. Always test women to see what’s REALLY in their heads. Even if you just want to help/aren’t asking for anything in return.
The experiment was successful, and a useful lesson was learned.
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