Imagine you are on a train or a bus. You’re scanning the area, there are about 30 people on board. You notice an attractive woman. You don’t want to stare so you glance occasionally. Now, your eyes meet, she’s looking at you, and you at her. You look away instantly, but you don’t notice that she does the same. In your peripherals you notice her looking at you now. You think ‘she’s probably just looking at me to see if I’m staring at her’. You get off at your stop and carry on with your day, maybe feeling ashamed or guilty. Now imagine yourself on that bus or train again, did you notice anybody else there? Did you make eye-contact with the old man beside you? How about the Mom across from you? No, you made eye-contact with the attractive woman. She made eye-contact with you. It wasn’t a coincidence she looked back at you. Especially not the second or third time. She was attracted to you, and rather than feel excited, you felt guilty or ashamed. That’s not your fault, you just grew up in a world where you learned that you had to earn a woman’s approval with treats, tricks, and shiny things. When actually, a woman’s approval is as easy as 3-5 seconds of eye-contact.

Here’s the deal. You want to Cold Approach, and not shit your pants? Use eye-contact. You make 3-5 seconds of eye-contact with a woman, and I guarantee you its not a coincidence. She finds you attractive. You don’t give unattractive people any attention. So here are my loose guidelines that I follow in the game of eye-contact.

1st Contact: Make Eye-contact and hold, if she’s still looking, smile then look away.

2nd Contact: Keep an eye on her with your peripherals, when she is looking at you, try to catch her. If you catch her, smile again and look away.

Now, at this point its probably enough, but it can depend on a case by case. If you need more assurance, move to 3rd Contact, other wise you can skip it, but more eye-contact the better.

3rd Contact: Keep glancing at her, if she looks back at you, you’re in.

Now you can go ahead and speak to her… don’t know what to say? It’s simple:

“Hey, I’m sorry, you have a massive booger in your nose”

Use my line, it works 100% of the time, 60% of the time. Once she feels embarrassed and checks her nose. You can just calmly tell her to relax. Introduce yourself, maybe even break the 4th wall and talk about the eye-contact. I love to break the 4th wall because its unexpected and it makes things interesting, but its hard to pull off because its reigns in some serious shit tests.

Anyways, that’s all for today, thanks for coming to my TED Talk.