I've been hanging out on asktrp lately, and one of the main questions I keep seeing involves what to do when you've already got a girl on a date, how to make things sexual, basically how not to just project a friendly vibe. I don't see a lot of these kinds of posts on here and the seduction sub is a fucking joke nowadays, so I thought I'd do a little write-up on my date last night. First post here, be gentle.

Summary: Most girls are not willing to directly express sexual interest. It is your job as a man to set the tone of the interaction. Many will not even give clear signals, just keep moving forward, occasionally pulling back, until you fuck or she says no.

Body: So I had set up a date with this cute little asian chick from OKC (I have had amazing results with OKC in my area, by the way. Basic strategy is to have a fun, interesting profile, good pictures, and to have my first message be playful or teasing based on something in their profile.) After three or four messages I invited her out, asking for her number, and then through text I set the date. There was no further communication after that. The date was meeting at a coffee shop and doing an art walk together. For those of you who have art walks in your city, they are pretty much the perfect first date - completely free, tons of venue changes, if there's a lull in conversation you can just shift the focus to the art, etc. Also pretty much every girl claims to just love art, even though the majority of them couldn't tell a Rothko from a Pollock. But I digress.

Anyways we chat briefly in the coffee shop and then get to it, walking to a nearby gallery. I gently guide her toward the gallery by placing my hand on her back. (Note: this is within five minutes of meeting her. In the past I would've been terrified to touch her without her giving some clear indication she's into me like that, but guys - if she's taking time out of her schedule to hang out with you, she's already fucking interested!). Throughout the next hour as we visit various galleries I touch her in a similar way. Sometimes I'll lean in close to her, other times I'll drift away on my own and focus on a piece of art I'm interested in. Push pull, push pull.

Some conversation topics: 1) Small talk - what we do for a living, where we're from, what we're into, exercise, favorite foods, movies. Even though this girl is very warm, sweet, and bubbly, she has a thing for dark psychological thrillers and her favorite movie is American Psycho. This will come up later. 2) Dating - at a certain point I always bring up the topic of dating, girls really love to talk about this. We met through OKC so we exchange horror stories. In my case it's occasionally been girls who are just super shy and awkward and boring, in her case it's guys who just get really attached and clingy and really quickly. In fact that is the single most common thing girls tell me they hate - dudes who are texting them too much, getting upset if they aren't responded to quickly enough, etc. Guys who aren't yet experiencing abundance please pay special attention to that.

Former me would've been uncomfortable to bring up the topic of dating, because I wouldn't want to think of her with other guys and I would think that she wouldn't want to do the same with me. But by casually bringing it up, laughing about our awkward experiences, it demonstrates abundance and also gives her permission to start to bring out her femininity, as well acknowledging the reality that we are both sexual beings and this is in fact a date.

The last major conversation topic is about more intimate things like childhood stuff, especially potentially embarrassing things. I was agonizingly shy in high school, and I talk openly about this. Turns out she was too, and we kind of have a moment there bonding about it.

So at this point we're a little under an hour and a half into the date. It feels like much longer than that due to all the venue changes and the shifting conversation. We get Boba tea and are sitting down on a park bench while talking about all the dating and childhood stuff. While she has reciprocated some touching earlier in the night, she has not given me the eyes, or given me any other direct signals.

I go for the kiss. I always go for the kiss, no matter what, unless I don't want to kiss her. She doesn't give me a good opportunity (they usually don't). It's not a perfect moment – it's kinda cold, she's not making a lot of eye contact. I just go in to kiss her anyway. She's surprised and there's a moment of awkwardness - there often is - but neither of us make a big deal out of it and now I have established in no uncertain terms what kind of interaction I'm expecting.

She kisses me very lightly. I was expecting a full-blown makeout session by this point, and in the past I would've over-thought her lack of enthusiasm and thought that she would not be DTF tonight. The important point is I don't react to that, I'm still going to keep escalating because I want to get laid. I dial it back from there though. Stop kissing her, stop touching her. We start walking again and I'm not even standing close to her. Push pull, push pull.

I suggest we go somewhere else, my house, and she asks what we are going to do there. It's generally a good idea to have some kind of plausible deniability for the surefire ASD to follow - e.g. "show you my art, play guitar for you, meet my roommate's dog," but my mind is blank and I'm kind of tired so I just say "hang out and get to know each other," while looking at her very directly in the eyes. She suggests watching a movie. At this point I know the deal is sealed.

As we walk to her car I decide it will be more fun to go to her place as she has her own apartment (I have roommates and am not crazy about where I live, working on that) and I suggest that, so we drive to her place instead. Once we get there she puts in American Psycho, and we both start watching it.

So we are both sitting on her bed, watching this movie, but her body language is actually pretty closed off. I watch the movie for a little while, because I want to. In particular I wait until after the business card scene to start doing anything, because I fucking love that scene. She starts to curl up away from me and under the blanket, like she just wants to be cozy and go to bed. There is no sexual vibe at all. I mention this because former me would've kept looking for an opening, a sign that I could proceed with the seducing.

But I'm a man so instead I express my desire by starting to touch her, and kind of pry her body open a little while I kiss her, drawing her to me. She is much more receptive than I expected, I start grabbing her lots of places, and she gets kind of startled when my hands slide up to her bra. I ask if her if she wants me to stop (not in a “omg I'm so sorry, should I stop?” kind of way, but looking her deep in the eyes with a strong voice that is implying “we both know we're gonna fuck at some point”). This has worked very well in the past for me, when encountering LMR, to draw back a little and ask simply if they want to stop in this manner. It demonstrates non-neediness and a strong confidence in oneself, which is very attractive and makes the girl want to please you.

From there on there is very little LMR. Before we fuck I ask her what she's into, because I like it pretty rough, turns out this sweet, innocent-looking, tiny asian girl does too. I don't actually get LMR very much these days, and I think it's largely due to being very comfortable with expressing my sexuality, and who I am as a person in general, which in turns makes the girl comfortable to express her own sexuality. Much of that I owe to Mark Manson's book Models which you have hopefully read by now. All said, it took a little over two hours from meeting her to having sex with her.

Lessons Learned: - Set the tone of the interaction. If you want it to be a date, express interest early on by touching and teasing.

  • Don't wait for permission, or perfect openings. Many girls will be interested in you, but unsure of how to express it. Many others will not truly be interested in you until you demonstrate a strong desire for them.

  • It's okay for things to be awkward and not completely smooth. This is how most real-life interactions go. I still get awkward and do the wrong things sometimes but that doesn't stop me from fucking plenty of women, because I know what I want and I act on it.

  • Even being a fairly experienced guy, I often have no idea if the girl is going to be receptive until I go for it. So just fucking go for it.

Open to answer questions, very busy guy though so might take a little while to get back to you.