FwB downgrades plans at the last minute

Redpiller77 · 2023-01-14T20:31:19+00:00

She was in the mood of going out. You would probably still fucked her if you went to get drinks first. She probably wants something more than a fwb relationship tho.

But I don't even understand what you need help with. Like who cares about any of this if she's only your fwb

ForeverFinancial5602 · 2023-01-14T20:30:34+00:00

She didn’t try to cheapen it. Sounds like she wanted to have an activity with you. You should’ve invited her out to a bar near your house, after a few drinks invite her back to your place. Most fuck buddies don’t last too long without going in one direction or the other and it sounds like she wanted to get to know you a little better, so she doesn’t feel like just some cheap hoe

MattyAnon · 2023-01-15T13:56:29+00:00

hey can we just go get drinks instead?" "sure but I get to choose where. Deal?"

This is fully buying into her frame..... not only are you agreeing to her plan, you are making it even easier for her by planning it all out.

I read this as "will you be beta for me". This is a big step back and when a girl takes a step back you need to take a BIGGER step back. Best way is to not respond for a week. Understand that "time together without sex" means "I am losing attraction but wish to retain your commitment".

"Sure! let's meet at 9" "Alright, I choose to get drinks at your place. Don't be late" "excuse me?! we just agreed to get drinks. I don't want to hang out at my place, don't invite yourself to my house blah blah blah"

Haha this is hilarious..... but the flaw is this: you agreed to the beta gambit, and now you are pulling the rug. Women don't see this as an alpha move, they see it as you being a bad beta. You AGREED to be beta... now you are not doing it. Bad beta. The strong move is not to agree to this shit in the first place.

well I'm not in the mood for drinks, sorry. We can catch up another time then"

The problem here is that you are saying "I don't want to spend time with you", while also saying you will catch up another time which is you trying to secure future commitment. This is very reassuring to her because you are trying to make it work, and trying to continue the relationship. This kind of reassurance gives her the emotional confidence to double down on the beta-ization.

"Why didn't you just say that we could have done something else. also you didn't have to drink, whatever good night"

And now she's confused about your behaviour. You are trying to say "no meeting without sex", without saying it..... and she is confused about what you ARE saying.

It's much stronger just to get distant and take emotional steps backward (eg not responding). The issue is that you are showing commitment (responding, answering literally, negotiating, hinting at future meetings) while also showing disinterest.

This all went so badly wrong when you pretended to agree to her beta bait.

The best answer is to take a step back when she takes a step back. When she drops the beta bait it is because she thinks it will work. "I've got him now, I'll tighten the noose a little". It's much better that it goes more like "I've got him now, I'll just tighten this noose...... wait, where is he? why isn't he responding? is he fucking another girl?? maybe he isn't so beta after all".

I feel like a bit of an asshole for canceling but it also feels like she tried to cheapen the experience at the last minute.

You shouldn't feel like an asshole: she's trying to beta you and TAKE SEX OFF THE TABLE. This requires exactly the right amount of tightrope walking to fix, and requires you to NOT CARE ABOUT THE RELATIONSHIP WITH HER. Because of deeply selfish female instincts, you have to take positive action to fix this. You didn't break it, she did.

She wanted to meet like we're friends and that just didn't make any sense to me. We aren't friends, we're not dating. We're fuck buddies and she knows that.

And she wants to TEST that.... and the test results were confusing as fuck to her. But you showed commitment, so now she'll think of another plan rather than "wow, he's hot as fuck, I must keep fucking him".

Edit: Yeah I get it, I sperged it up lmao. What I did was stupid, short-sighted and selfish and it probably cost me a plate; I'll just go with the flow next time. Thanks to those who gave feedback in good faith.

No, it was not selfish. It was poorly judged because you didn't know better.

Don't "go with the flow"..... you need to fix this shit by learning that when a girl takes a step away from you sexually you need to take a step away from her emotionally, and correctly communicate this to her with indifference.

hugaddiction · 2023-01-14T21:18:08+00:00

Bro, she likes you. Usually this means they want more than fwb, which can be nice too, unless you truly not into her other than the sex. Good luck.

redhawkes · 2023-01-14T21:55:40+00:00

Meh, she tried to test the waters and your level of investment. Don't let her dictate when you're having sex.

You could have gone for drinks and tell her the first round is on her, then workup the logistics and smash. The important part is that she's a plate. If you don't want to be seen with her, drink in you car, park somewhere with a view of the city/woods etc. Done that many times.

Reserve your weekends for hoes who earned that and bros, not skanks.

Put her on soft next until she initiates and talk to other chicks meanwhile.

ABurritoBandito · 2023-01-14T20:46:30+00:00

This is what happens when people take TRP too far. Literally could have invited her to a bar near your/her place and banged afterwards. And if you didn’t fuck this time, cause logistics weren’t right or whatever, it wouldn’t have mattered cause you’d still be spinning this plate for next time.

Of course, instead of you being unphased, rolling with the flow, and getting consistently laid, you had to “alpha” her and demand sex. Now all you’ll be banging is your hand.

Seriously, 90% of succeeding with women is just going with the flow. If you don’t overinvest in a girl and are outcome independent, you’ll get laid left and right.

videogames_ · 2023-01-14T22:14:03+00:00

LOL just get drinks at a bar near her place or your place and then lead into doing the deed after if the vibe is there. I’m down to shoot the shit with my fwb(s) for a drink or two as long as we bang. If not then I next the girl.

ProFriendZoner · 2023-01-14T22:00:14+00:00

Sounds to me like she is getting the feels and wants a relationship instead of FWB. She wants you to start taking her out to earn the sex. Whether you do or not is up to you.

Be careful. Wrap that little dude up tighter than a virgin on prom night.

downvotesanimals · 2023-01-14T23:37:31+00:00

You guys are trying so hard to be hard. Sometimes you just need to act like a normal fucking person.

HorvathRed · 2023-01-15T03:39:11+00:00

To be honest, I think you acted just right. She's a HB5 by your report, and it was a fuck buddy situation from the beginning. You're entirely within your right to keep it basic, especially if you don't find her that valuable for any number of reasons to be worth the outside plan especially if you don't feel like it yourself. It's called frame and I've definitely done the same before. Lost some, maintained some, and they never tried it again. Either way you should feel good with your attitude. If it's an attractive girl you wouldn't mind taking things further with, that gives you very little bullshit and treats you well, has a nice attitude and is sweet, sure, a different plan is a nice reward. But a low tier fuck buddy doesn't need to be made feel special or require you for comfort company. She has, or should have, friends for that. Don't listen to the dweebs here saying you acted "too alpha" lmao, it's called abundance mentality, and it's frankly why I don't need to entertain these girlfriendy plans just to "get some".

And contrary to what even Woujo says, a lot of young girls will be 100% fine and happy with this arrangement. I was even redpilled by one years ago that was just a straight to home booty call from the beginning, by asking if she would like to go have a drink or a bite out. She said something like "Oh no, that's fine, I have plenty of friends for that. I'm really here for the great sex, your abs, and just enjoying a cigarette and a beer between rounds while we chat." If you actually become top tier in looks, frame, sex skills and just a generally composed, mature attitude, with your finances in order with your own put together apartment in a decent part of town, a ton of girls will melt in your hands. They don't experience that combination often at all. I only even offer first dates to the most high value ones, and I laugh at the thought of trying to please a roster by ocasionally taking each of them out, sounds exhausting when only a relatively small percentage of women are genuinely cool company.

Hestinho · 2023-01-15T02:04:20+00:00

I think as long as you handled it according to what you wanted, you did just fine. Don't see it as missing out on sex, just see it as both of you wanting different things and move on. You're not obligated to go for drinks if you aren't interested in dating her.

Double-Flatworm654 · 2023-01-14T20:25:00+00:00

Lemme get a bite of dem assburgers

Ok-Professional3832 · 2023-01-14T20:21:16+00:00

Just text her and tell her you don’t want to be seen in public with her.

Don_Draper27 · 2023-01-15T05:41:15+00:00

All plates eventually push for a “date” outside the dick appointments. AWALT and not a big deal. It’s up to you if you want to “reward” them by going out every few fucks.

Some girls just don’t want to feel like you’re so embarrassed by them that you won’t even be seen with them.

Also, oftentimes girls aren’t in a position to smash (heavy flow, IBS, gassy, sore vagina, etc.) but still want your energy so they invite /shit test to get feels or attention out of you.

oooKenshiooo · 2023-01-15T12:16:08+00:00

"I choose drinks at your place."

That was funny! It almost un-cringed the rest of your post.

Camgreen99 · 2023-01-15T14:13:01+00:00

How did she make it clear she wanted to fuck you.
Stop caring about body count you will never ever truly know a woman’s body count unless you had a camera follow her from birth.
Did you smash the 2 times you went to hers?
Never follow a woman’s program. She changed your set plans to getting drinks instead and you agreed. Therefore you were following her lead.
Don’t listen to these other nerds telling you should’ve went with the flow. If that’s not what you wanted why the fuck would you do what she wants. STOP FOLLOWING HER LEAD.
Be the asshole with assburgers. You sound dumb saying you feel like an asshole. SO YOU WANA BE A NICE GUY!??! Fuck outta here.

drakehfh · 2023-01-15T15:27:57+00:00

Your texting game is teenager style.

First of all, you lost frame when she asked to get drinks instead. She most likely wanted to go out and she thought you could be an option. I don't think she wanted to fuck but you could have changed that if you went out.

I would have done it differently. First of all I would have asked why she wants to get drinks instead of going to her place. Learn where she's coming from. This way you can manipulate her into going back to her place.

It's always best to get more information on what made someone do something which seems different compared to the past.

Choosing not to go her way is a good think in my opinion because you don't want to give the vibe of a tool which can be played with by even hb5s. But I wouldn't say it like you did because you look like a angry 15 year old boy.

Instead say "I don't feel like going to bars, recently haven't had enough sleep from going out and I would prefer to just come to your place and cuddle/hang out. If you are not up for that, no problem. We could postpone for another time"

Usually this has worked for me in the past but I was texting to actual hot women.

To a hb5, I would just tell her that I am not up for it and "see you next time". I'm not starving for sex so who cares.

Bending over and accepting her frame is a terrible idea because you will most likely not score that day. Most of the comments here are terrible

saruin · 2023-01-14T23:38:34+00:00

"Alright, I choose to get drinks at your place. Don't be late"

oof! Bad reply my dude. I'm sure it sounded pretty clever on your end but the girl in question can obviously see this for what is it, a manipulation tactic.

jollyrancher_74 · 2023-01-15T01:45:59+00:00

honestly bro this one’s on you

No_Measurement_8915 · 2023-01-15T08:34:54+00:00

Getting mad at a girl for flaking is like getting mad at sun for rising.

EugenioLeon · 2023-01-15T15:58:38+00:00

Honestly you did great..she could have asked for a date or a meal after sex, but a good girl could have not even asked for and you just take her out (best case scenario). But she said "can we JUST go drinks instead?" Even if sex would have happened after, she was trying to renegotiate. More time on and things will be "no more sex until you marry me".

ddelicia · 2023-01-17T01:44:56+00:00

Could have just said no politely and moved on. In hindsight didn't you noticed you came off as a dickhead for no reason? Unless that was your intention.

stonedkc350 · 2023-01-14T22:13:41+00:00

Bro I think u did great! Your response to get drinks at her place was cleaver & some 'got ya' humor. U missed a key element tho. If all you've done is smash at her place & now she wants to go out. She's asking for more MEAT (respect-Coach) to get box. She wants more investment from you. The part u missed is not adding more than dick to the plans. Saying your: "don't be late & I'll bring wine" could've solved that. Even if she still came with the 'excuse me' u responded great & shut down her test.

So the question is where to go from here. My vote is hold the line for 3 to 5 days & see if she messages. Over those 3 to 5 days pull the Tate move. Post a ton on IG doing stuff & having fun. (Figure u all follow each other) If she still doesn't hit u up then u can do the hail Mary after 5 days with a text like: Drinks??

Homie, you did great on this interaction & I'd give u a B+. For an outsider it's pretty obvious what's going on. Don't worry tho I fuck it up hard when I'm in the situation. Seems like she caught shit over the holidays from sister, friend, or cousin about letting u hit w/o even buying her a drink. If u want to continue hooking up you'll have to invest a bit more MEAT.

Snowpeartea · 2023-01-15T01:45:32+00:00

I thought you were pretty bad ass. Setting boundaries and letting her know that you don't compromise just for sex.

NoMoreMrNiceJay · 2023-01-15T19:57:48+00:00

It's a friend with benefits. Many of these whores just want to fuck and be friends. The exchange is she gives you pussy and you give her attention & make her feel all the feels.

Go to some bar for an hour or two, and make a few jokes. Flirt with a few randoms, escalate with your date etc etc. The sex starts in the bar.

She tried to make an exchange, and you said "fuck your exchange" give me what I want. Your value isn't high enough for that & if it was, you would never be in this situation.

fenderbr0 · 2023-01-15T02:10:23+00:00

stop trying to act like chad thundercock you’re taking this stuff too literal

SalporinRP · 2023-01-15T04:45:50+00:00

Lmao you sperged it up but tons of spergs in the comments too talking about how "she likes you" because she wanted to go out for a round of drinks 😂

It ain't that serious lol. You haven't seen this girl in a month. She's not necessarily trying to get to the next level with you by suggesting to get drinks first.

well I'm not in the mood for drinks, sorry. We can catch up another time then

Just a massive break in frame and you acting bitchy and emotional.

Remember... "girls just wanna have fun". Does a guy who reacts like that to a woman asking him out for drinks sound like a lot of fun?

UnorthodoxBodybuild · 2023-01-15T08:54:08+00:00

Dont mess with girls u dont want to be seen with in public and dont invite yourself over to chicks houses that almost never works

ispaidermaen · 2023-01-15T03:04:52+00:00

lol taking the red pill for two years. I bet you constantly check whether your frame is weaker or stronger. RP is not reality.

Woujo · 2023-01-14T22:02:14+00:00

This is one of the neediest, most butthurt text exchanges I have ever seen. This is what happens when autistic morons get ahold of the Red Pill. Jesus fucking Christ.

jhx264 · 2023-01-15T06:32:34+00:00

Lol if you don't wanna be seen outside with a 5 that's totally understandable. Sure should know her place with you and my guess is she'll be back and when she comes back she's gonna be suckin a whooooole Lotta dick

X-Trem0 · 2023-01-15T10:27:14+00:00

Not gonna go through the whole bunch of comments to feel the vibe of the discussion but my two cents: break the date entirely and offer an alternative for another time. If she jumps to it fine. If not let her go

DatingVX · 2023-01-15T13:41:49+00:00

This screams ''I wanna get the quickest nut'' I laughed though I admit, that's a really funny response even if not intended ''I choose your place!''

You can't directly tell a woman lets to have a quick F- even if she'd be down for it and wants the same. Like the rest is saying, outside drink - had sex would have worked here.

AriaRz22 · 2023-01-15T14:36:47+00:00

Okay like myself, you went full autistic mode on that small(if at all) shit test. And if you only fucked twice, she's merely a plate. Not fwb

drereps · 2023-01-15T15:19:28+00:00

I disagree w everyone. Good job on not cucking like it seems everyone else would’ve done. She’s just a FB, if I don’t want anything more, I would’ve made the same move.

31ar · 2023-01-16T03:14:09+00:00

You guys hadn't met in a long time. She wanted to first just meet and ensure she was still into it - rather than just going at it at home.

I've heard women say "i forgot how much I liked you until we spoke again"... So it's entirely possible.

Alone_Expert1149 · 2023-01-16T03:33:58+00:00

Do you mean aspergers? No wonder you got into this cult. Poor psychological intelligence and all that.

Title	FwB downgrades plans at the last minute
Author	-PiEqualsThree
Upvotes	53
Comments	72
Date	January 14, 2023 7:53 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/TheRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/10bxmpj/fwb_downgrades_plans_at_the_last_minute/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/TheRedPill/fwb-downgrades-plans-at-the-last-minute.1176693 https://theredarchive.com/post/1176693

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