It isn't to say depression has gone away (it never will) but it is much more irrelevant in my life. It has become much more manageable and doesn't consume me. I consider myself happy.

Here are the 4 myths we need to clarify before starting:

Myth 1: Happiness Is the Natural State for All Human Beings

Our culture insists that humans are naturally happy. But the statistics clearly disprove this. Remember, one in ten adults will attempt suicide, and one in five will suffer from major depression. What's more, the statistical probability that you will suffer from a psychiatric disorder at some stage in your life is almost 30 percent!

And when you add in all the misery caused by problems that are not classified as psychiatric disorders - loneliness, divorce, work stress, midlife crisis, relationship issues, social isolation, prejudice, and lack of meaning or purpose - you start to get some idea of just how rare true happiness is. Unfortunately, many people walk around with the belief that everyone else is happy except them. And - you guessed it - this belief creates even more unhappiness.

Myth 2: If You're Not Happy, You're Defective

Following logically from Myth 1, Western society assumes that mental suffering is abnormal. It is seen as a weakness or illness, a product of a mind that is somehow faulty or defective. This means that when we do inevitably experience painful thoughts or feelings, we often criticise ourselves for being weak or stupid.

Myth 3: To Create A Better Life, We Must Get Rid Of Negative Feelings

We live in a feel-good society, a culture thoroughly obsessed with finding happiness. And what does that society tell us to do? To eliminate "negative" feelings and accumulate "positive" ones in their place. It's a nice theory, and on the surface it seems to make sense. After all, who wants to have unpleasant feelings? But here's the catch: the things we generally value most in life bring with them a whole range of feelings, both pleasant and unpleasant.

Myth 4: You Should Be Able To Control What You Think And Feel

The fact is, we have much less control over our thoughts and feelings than we would like. It's not that we have no control; it's just that we have much less than the "experts" would have us believe. However, we do have a huge amount of control over our actions. And it's through taking action that we create a rich, full, and meaningful life.

The overwhelming majority of self-help programs subscribe to Myth 4. The basic claim is: if you challenge your negative thoughts or images, and, instead, repeatedly fill your head with positive thoughts and images, you will find happiness. If only life was that simple!

Now for the technique, cognitive defusion

Let's be real, you'll never be able to control your thoughts and it has been shown that if you get rid of your bad thoughts, they'll actually come back stronger.

You need to accept your circumstances and let your thoughts move freely, but you can change how you process this information. These are simply images and words. They only have meaning because we give it meaning.

Cognitive defusion (deliteralization) is the process of simply seeing thoughts as what they are, not as what they say they are. You can process the same information and bad thoughts in a way which you take it less seriously. It will make it much easier to cope.

I prefer to process the same information, but in a silly voice. Other ones which have helped me immensely have been thanking my brain for whatever bullshit comes out, and to imagine myself driving a bus and these dark thoughts as monsters trying to knock me over. Childish, but it has worked greatly for coping compared to other techniques. I haven't even found meditation to be that effective.

You can find a list of cognitive defusion techniques here

Of course, lifting, eat better and improving yourself will have positive impacts too. Keep making yourself better, bro.

Notice: This is what has worked for me personally and comes from the book The Happiness Trap. There is no clear-cut technique which works for everyone, so if you find this isn't for you I encourage you to keep reading. There is hope for you. You can overcome these bad feelings.