How to raise daughters after learning the ugly truth?

PhantomDream09 · 2013-11-11T17:42:16+00:00

As a daughter, I realize now how important my father's actions and behaviors were in influencing my development. He was always available to listen and advise me when I had a problem. When I was upset, he would listen to me, but he wanted the facts of the situation - my emotional state was secondary. He would always tell me to take deep breaths, calm down and think. His voice was calm and he relied on logic to help me navigate through my problems. He never emphasized material possessions - and from a very young age, my parents made it clear that I could not get anything through pouting or throwing a fit. They did not spoil me, and they had a lot of rules, but not to the point of insanity. I wasn't allowed to wear spaghetti strap shirts, or show my stomach. My clothing was modest and modern.

My dad kept me busy. I played four sports until high school. Two my freshman year, and then focused on one. I played for club teams. I had a curfew, and school was important.

My father cannot be manipulated, and I can only remember one time in my entire life when I saw him angry and heard him yell. It was terrifying. He never had to raise his voice to let people know he was displeased or disappointed. To this day, the thought of letting him down is one of my greatest fears. I want him to be proud of me.

Be a good man, teach your daughter to think and use logic. Push her to be better, get her involved in activities. Whether it's sports, debate club, theater, or volunteer work. Teach her that it's important to be able to work alongside other people, even if you don't always agree with or like them. Athletics taught me so many lessons, most of which I didn't start to appreciate or recognize until college.

Teach her to be responsible with money. I had to work for my allowance, my parents didn't buy me a car or anything frivolous and expensive. I had to earn the things I wanted. I am the youngest child, and I grew up with hand-me-down everything, and I am so thankful for that. My parents always wanted to know where I would be, what friends I would be with, their numbers, and an adult always had to be around if I was at a house. I wasn't given free reign to wander around and do whatever I wanted.

We ate meals together most nights. My dad was involved in my sports. He wasn't a crazy spectator. When I was young, he coached two of my sports teams (different sports). He asked my if I enjoyed what I was doing. When I wanted to quit one sport my freshman year of high school, he told me that I had to finish out the season, and then tell my coach that I wouldn't be returning the next year. If I started something, I had to see it through.

My father loves to build things, and he had me help him from a very young age. I learned to hammer, saw, measure, cut, and use power tools. He remolded our old house, and whenever I was home, I was expected to help. I enjoyed working with him, even though it was hard.

My father has a way of turning any conversation into a lesson, and I have never stopped learning from him. He values family and has taught me that I have a responsibility to my relatives, regardless of where they live or when I last saw them.

Be a good man. Be firm and loving, and your children will be just fine. Don't worry about force feeding them specific ideas, talk with them, debate in a calm manner. Teach critical thinking and set a good example.

All the best to you.

Edit: Thank you for the kind gift of reddit gold! I really appreciate it, and I'm glad I can be a (somewhat) competent contributer. :0)

andromede8 · 2013-11-11T17:14:37+00:00

It's not what you say, it's what you do. If your daughters love you AND respect you, they'll seek a man like you. They have to love you to not think all men are piece of shit, they have to respect you to not think that all man = gifts and wallets.

If they love and respect their mother, they will take her as a role model. So she's really important too.

Combined this to your behavior (do you and your wife act accordingly to what you want to promote?), to the values you advocate within the wall of you home, and you can predict how they'll grow up. Yes their friends will have influence but your family will stay the foudation.

I apply this to every single person I know and it's work.

frequentlywrong · 2013-11-11T17:03:50+00:00

Raise them like children need to be raised. Healthy boundaries and being a good role model.

HanSwoleOh · 2013-11-11T17:18:36+00:00

Do I educate them the same I would a son?

Yes.

Do I try to instill conservative relationship and sexual values somehow?

No. One of the best ways to discourage kids from having sex early is to demystify and normalize it. As they're hitting puberty, make sure they know you don't think sex is weird or gross or magical or anything. Make sure they know about STIs and birth control and that they should only be having sex if they want to (make sure they know not to put up with boys pressuring them for sex). If they want to be on birth control or see and OBGYN, be cool about that and enable it.

If they don't think sex is some kind of Forbidden Fruit, they're much less likely to chase it.

Mostly you want them to be interesting, productive people, right? Focus on that part. Just don't leave them in the dark about sex. There are a lot of resources you can recommend to them at the appropriate time, too.

skinisblackmetallic · 2013-11-12T01:45:05+00:00

My daughter is doing so well. She is dedicated to school and her extra-curricular activities and helps with her little brother. It's the one thing I now know I did right.

mykart · 2013-11-12T18:29:01+00:00

No matter how hard it may be, you have to be willing to tell them the truth about life and the world. Don't let them learn their lessons the hard way which so many women without guidance are doing today in the western society. Teach them that their most important decisions are made at an early age and that their actions will always have consequences.

Teach them that most people in the world will not tell them the truth because they are trying to sell them something like ideas, love, and material items. Don't join these people in selling them a fantasy for the sake of protecting them.

Invincibull · 2013-11-11T17:10:30+00:00

The single best thing you could do for them is set an example of what a man should be like. Be the man whom they measure other men against. Be matter-of-fact about the consequences of slutting it up, but don't try to force anything on them. Build their confidence based on real achievements, not pussy-bestowed entitlement. Love them, but don't pander to them.

If a girl knows what a quality man is like, she'll tend to reject low-quality men on her own. If she's only known weak men her entire life, she's at the mercy of the first fake-alpha thug who comes along.

And remember, you can only try. Despite everything you do they could turn out to be worthless sluts anyway. Parents can't compete with television and peer pressure.

iggybdawg · 2013-11-11T18:26:28+00:00

Teach them that all actions have consequences.

GayLubeOil · 2013-11-12T03:31:48+00:00

All I know is don't send them to an all girls school. When they go back to being in a Coed environment they go crazy.

risqys · 2013-11-11T18:46:17+00:00

Its very simple!

Daughters will grow up to be like their mothers. If you have specific ideas about how your daughter should and shouldnt behave then that should have also been true of her mother.

e.g dont expect your daughter to be a virgin till she is married if her mother married you after riding the cock carousel!

LifterofThings · 2013-11-12T18:04:21+00:00

The most valuable gift you can give your daughters is a habit of compulsive critical thinking-- to take nothing for granted, without giving it some real, logical contemplation. Instilling this ensures that she'll be able to make good choices even after you're gone.

Imo, forget how many dicks she might or might not have in her throughout the course of her life, and focus on raising a good, honest, hardworking and responsible human being. Encourage her to focus on her studies and her extracurriculars rather than her popularity-- a good education and subsequent career yield power (money) that is not contingent on other peoples' approval in the same way that marrying a rich man might be.

Don't protect her from the consequences of her actions, and don't be unrealistic in your efforts at shielding her from the mean ol' world. Regrets are good, if you have the critical thinking skills in place to learn from the experiences. She can't have it all-- knowing that, encourage her to examine what it is that she wants out of life, and warn her that she should be prepared to make sacrifices to get the things that really matter.

Be involved, and be human with her, so that she appreciates that men are not her adversaries (by default, anyway). They're not pigs, players, etc.-- they're just people. That being said, she should be sufficiently socialized to be able to differentiate a bullshitter from a decent person (male or female) with sub-par communication skills. Don't use people, or fuck them around-- lead by example, so she knows that these behaviors are not acceptable.

Ultimately, raise her the same as you would a son. Let her rise to your expectations of what a good person should be, rather than shielding her from expectations, and the pains of failing to attain them because she's daddy's princess.

General_Fear · 2013-11-12T03:56:21+00:00

How to raise your daughter. Here is one idea. Don't listen to feminist. They destroy women. To often women put careers first and then find themselves alone when they grow old. Here is an article that discusses what happens to career women. Sometimes.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2227880/The-lonely-legacy-Sex-And-The-City-lifestyle-Claudia-Connell-gives-painfully-honest-account-came-living-middle-age.html#ixzz2BMlQTscE

http://www.smh.com.au/federal-politics/society-and-culture/why-women-lose-the-dating-game-20120421-1xdn0.html

Gonadzilla · 2013-11-12T00:27:21+00:00

What you want doesn't matter. The way your kids turn out will depend partly on how you influence them, partly on their natural tendencies, and very heavily on their peer group. Sorry.

Edited to sound less like an asshole wrote it.

FortunateBum · 2013-11-12T02:18:07+00:00

I don't understand why people think this is so complicated. Women's goal hasn't changed for thousands of years: Marry the richest guy possible.

The danger is having your girl fall into the trap that something is different in the "modern" world.

Nothing is different.

Title	How to raise daughters after learning the ugly truth?
Author	borderline_sociopath
Upvotes	110
Comments	64
Date	November 11, 2013 4:47 PM UTC (12 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/TheRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/1qdvio/how_to_raise_daughters_after_learning_the_ugly/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/TheRedPill/how-to-raise-daughters-after-learning-the-ugly.7862 https://theredarchive.com/post/7862

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