I think I just got redpilled

Docbear64 · 2017-03-06T16:16:41+00:00

I'm shocked you stuck around after you took her to the club and she refused to dance, to me that would have been the writing on the wall . What would have been the point in getting pretty and hitting a club just to sit there ?

ashleyshafer27 · 2017-03-06T17:05:10+00:00

You were used to make her ex jealous. She wanted him all along. Don't go past the first date next time when all the signs were there and you'll have saved a lot of wasted time.

d4ng3rz0n3 · 2017-03-06T16:40:12+00:00

She is rebounding with you. Women who arent over their ex do stuff like this all the time.

Mangoinhand · 2017-03-06T19:35:31+00:00

Here are your screw ups. You're welcome

you go for the kiss on 2nd or 3rd date. In the middle, never at the end. Ask her to come close and go for it. If she rejects you, then you get up and leave. Tell her nicely "it was nice meeting you". Pay your own tab and let her pay for what she consumed/ordered. Seriously, I have done this and i get the kiss 9/10 times.
you dont ask her to dance. Unless you are a hip hop star. If you must, then you grab her hand and lead her there. If she rejects or resists, you leave
never ask a girl to be your girlfriend. Let her ask. If you make sure to see her only once a week, then she will not ask about it for at least 2-4 months
do not initiate texting with her. Only to setup dates once a week. If she replies, you can reply quick.
Do not ask her to spend the night. No no NO! You don't want a girl you barely know to sleep over.
when girl gives me a physical attribute compliment, I say "Nice flattery" or make a quick joke and change the subject
you need to spin more plates and it will make you less needy

You will get there and laugh a hearty laugh in less than a years time over this ridiculousness.

This shit happens to me all the time, but I'm always focusing on a new group of girls and easily walk away. Literally I am ready to walk with the slighest barb or disrespect since there's no need to put up with any crap when I have have a dozen girls in the queue. They can SENSE this and shit tests are a breeze due to this fact.

RACCBL · 2017-03-06T16:51:24+00:00

From her perception, your SMV is very low, to the point she's not even willing to suck your dick. Don't waste your time with girls like that.

favours_of_the_moon · 2017-03-06T20:06:58+00:00

If you met her on tinder you should be banging her that night.

CSWY · 2017-03-06T18:40:48+00:00

so i'm assuming you took this girl to echostage, which is full of extremely creepy, rapey, grabby foreigners. I've had girls grind up on me at echostage just to avoid random dudes groping them, so it's pretty worrying that she refused to dance with you, aside from the fact that you were on a "date" with her. imho, she was using you to piss off her ex, the fact that she broadcasted you on facebook but wouldn't even kiss you (seriously, all girls from nova are huge sluts, dude) pretty much seals it for me man, sorry this happened to you.

Dio_Brando_Joestar · 2017-03-06T20:38:48+00:00

Why would you ask her to be your girlfriend? Never ask a girl to be your woman.

She has to ask YOU. Read the sidebar more bro.

Gilgs · 2017-03-06T18:47:27+00:00

TL;DR: OP meets average tinder chick. She wants nothing from him but attention and OP is naive enough to keep hoping for something more without escalating. sigh When will people learn..

Conceited-Monkey · 2017-03-06T16:46:19+00:00

This happens to everybody at some point. You seem to have learned a good lesson though.

Luce_Bree · 2017-03-07T04:01:18+00:00

Bro have some self-respect--you "took her back"?

YOU NEVER HAD HER, MY DUDE.

Next her. NOW. There is NO WAY she will ever fuck you, because there is no way that she respects you at this point. She rejected you constantly and you kept lapping it up.

I don't want to come down too hard on you, you sound like a young-ish guy, most of us have been through some version of this shit. But honestly, dude, some of that hurt to read.

Spend the next week digesting the side bar, and get your shit together so that this never happens to you, ever again.

blackedoutfast · 2017-03-06T18:17:03+00:00

you didn't escalate = no chemistry. you're the man, you have to lead and keep things moving toward sex. i'm actually surprised it lasted as long as it did, going on 4 dates before kissing and all. a lot of girls today won't go on a second date if the guy doesn't at least make a solid effort at getting laid on the first date

RetiredTimeHo · 2017-03-06T22:02:56+00:00

....I'm even her man crush Monday on Facebook.

lol.... I had to laugh at this.

Live and learn. First thing you need to do is watch the Time Ho video by Patrice O'neal on youtube. I'm dead fucking serious stop what you're doing and watch that video now it's only a few minutes but will change your life.

Then read the sidebar.

ProfoundSavage · 2017-03-06T19:52:48+00:00

she was looking for validation from the outset. women take sick, twisted pride in sucking validation from a dude. she's more than likely fucking her ex, who's not taking her out, cuddling, etc, and using guys like yourself to get the validation that she is chasing(her ex) and never getting.

you'll be ight. not only did you learn a lesson but now you have experience to refer to the next time you meet a woman like this, and there are ALOT.

SirGaetanDugas · 2017-03-06T23:47:24+00:00

Many unappreciated men go to their graves after 5 decades (not 5 dates) and they dont come close to having your new found knowledge that a womans words mean absolutley nothing.

Christ, even her actions are only what she feels at that moment

Welcome to the rest of your life as a free man.

FwoGiZ · 2017-03-06T20:33:30+00:00

I bail out after 2 dates of nothing happening. I suggest everyone does that. When they challenge you, usually with something like "all you want is to dip it, I knew" I'd reply "No but passion is something extremely important for me and there is obviously none here so let's not waste anyone's time sexy" /c&f wink wink

MattyAnon · 2017-03-06T22:34:57+00:00

"I'm the luckiest guy in the world

If you think it's you getting the best deal, you won't be having sex tonight. This is how SHE should feel.

I asked her to be my girlfriend that night

4 dates, not even a kiss, she won't be seen in public with you, and now you are COMMITTING to her? Dude... seriously.... read the fucking sidebar.

"Let's take it slow" means "I am not attracted but want you to be a beta provider for me".

She continues to tell me I'm handsome, that she loves my eyes, that I'm funny etc

Ignore her words, look at her ACTIONS.

No matter how sweet, intelligent, and mature they seem, they all do. I'm gonna take this as a lesson moving forward.

Well duh.

Sir_Ganjas_VIII · 2017-03-06T18:52:03+00:00

Have you read the side bar? I'd recommend re-reading it if you have because you clearly haven't learned to practice the knowledge. No kiss, no second date.

Lovekeepsusalive · 2017-03-07T02:04:23+00:00

No kiss by the second date?? The attraction was never there. She had you as a way to distract her from her ex. Dont let that happen. When the connection is real and there the woman wont find excuses to avoid physical intimacy.

gecko408 · 2017-03-06T17:35:47+00:00

Just remember. She is never yours, its only your turn. With that thinking youll never be let down by a woman ever again.

blackfin · 2017-03-06T17:42:16+00:00

I'd drop her dude. She's just using you for your time and company. If you decide to setup a next date though, get her to wingman you to pickup some girls and make sure you pull a number or something right infront of her. That'll make her realize you actually do have a penis when she sees other girls might want to fuck you and really fuck with her ego.

Metalgear222 · 2017-03-06T20:49:17+00:00

Have to compliment your ability to be objective in this matter and non-emotional. It will help you leaps and bounds in your journey. Your next FR will be a positive one after improving your SMV.

mks10 · 2017-03-07T00:40:12+00:00

She was using you to either get over her ex or just make him jealous. What a twat. File this information in the back of your mind. Don't repeat this mistake of too many dates, no action, and poor results.

plascra · 2017-03-07T00:44:48+00:00

No. You got used. Clear AF.

Computationalism · 2017-03-07T01:17:43+00:00

She's a flake using you for validation and entertainment until someone better comes along.

Dump her.

Eb73 · 2017-03-06T17:14:32+00:00

Time to move on, Dude... She's obviously not 'that' into you. Just work on yourself (advancing in your career; becoming as physically fit and strong as possible; find 'your' own interests/hobbies) and the right girl for you will appear.

Terribledragon4Hire · 2017-03-06T21:37:52+00:00

Actions speak louder than words. You should have clued in way earlier because of her actions

skittles_man · 2017-03-06T23:02:22+00:00

Take this lesson and grow from it; it's good that this happened. You need to start raising your SMV. If you're usually getting stuck with fatties, it's time to do some deep introspection and figure out why that is.

dankvibez · 2017-03-06T23:49:56+00:00

maybe she does think you are good looking and all that but that you lack game. Maybe you needed to escalate the situation a little bit? Hard to know without being in your shoes, but it doesn't sound like you really tried to make the first move.

xmotorboatmygoatx · 2017-03-07T02:47:18+00:00

Whoa dude wtf you took her back??? You know better than that, man.

abbafishhead · 2017-03-07T02:52:25+00:00

Nothing you do could have saved that situation, because it's obvious that you have a low SMV now and also a very clear scarcity mentality. Any normal guy would have hard-nexted her by the 2nd date, but you kept providing her with attention and validation while deluding yourself that you're making "progress," cringe...

Lift, talk to more girls, and stop focusing on one girl.

SovereignSoul76 · 2017-03-07T11:44:29+00:00

So this has all happened to us at some point, and we don't realize it until it's too late. You're not the first, and not the last. You failed to escalate early, and ended up wasting way more of your time than you should have.

Also - always be willing to just walk/drive/uber away. There were about 3 or 4 times when you should have pulled the ejection cord and bounced on her. No explanation. No apology. That probably would have gotten her panties wetter than anything else you've ever done. My man, she knows what's going on. If she reacts like your actions hurt her, it's because she realizes she can't use you anymore and she lost the upper hand; not because she's actually hurt.

The silver lining: you not only gained a level of comfort being around an attractive girl, you also learned how manipulative they can be. Internalize and use this.

ArkAngelEV · 2017-03-06T16:47:15+00:00

Congrats cuck. That well is dry. Search for new wells

Slut_Slayer9000 · 2017-03-06T17:59:56+00:00

This isn't her fault. This is 100% your fault for not leading like a fucking man. She wasn't "leading you on" per se but you didn't make any moves, what do you expect her to do? Spread her legs and send you a notarized letter allowing you entry? Like you have to lead ALL interactions and have a game plan, and not be afraid to escalate. Don't blame her, she's just acting in her nature AWALT.

Dijosinhablando · 2017-03-06T23:02:39+00:00

A lot of lessons learned. You got time hoe'd bro

KIZAN · 2017-03-06T19:32:45+00:00

I would've left her at the club

yummyluckycharms · 2017-03-06T20:54:30+00:00

For the love of god people, if you dont have sex by third date - DUMP.

IF you dont dump, it shows to her that you have no other options and that they can string you along. If she is sexually attracted to you and you dump her, she'll be texting you like crazy asking to "come over". If she doesn't, then you know she wasnt attracted to you in the first place and that you were right to dump her.

The 3rd date rubicon is the original classic shit test....too many people who read these forums are failing the test when they shouldnt be.

TryhardPantiesON · 2017-03-06T22:12:29+00:00

She is probably just trying to get advantage of you, free meals and clubbing. If that isn't it, then i don't know why she is trying to play games, use dread with you.

Play it cool, don't get upset, don't argue, if she says, you shouldn't date anymore, tell her "mm ok, well i was feeling a connection with you, but if you don't feel the same there is no more reason to see each other, it was nice meeting you", cut all contact with her, a few days will go by and she will text you or cal you back, asking you why you haven't texted her, she is probably gonna tell you how she misses you or some shit like that. She will contact you... women do that a lot.

yomo86 · 2017-03-06T22:47:47+00:00

You got played. Even the most 'respected' women increase affection in accordance to the date count. Our fathers didn't call it bases for nothing. If your not moving it is time to quit the game. But even then you did not meet her in church but on Tinder aka I need validation or a dick now.

telenoobies · 2017-03-07T02:33:41+00:00

live and learn. dont get stringed along next time.

AshyBoneVR4 · 2017-03-07T10:55:09+00:00

I've lived this many many times. OP, you got used. She wanted a distraction from her ex as well as someone to make her feel needed/wanted. She kept telling you you're handsome and good looking to keep you attached to her. If the club was her idea, more than likely it was to show her ex that she was still having fun without him. I'm willing to put money that there were pictures taken and possibly videos on snapchat.

Then when her and her ex start talking again, that's when it's safe for her to tell you to fuck off ie " text from her saying she feels no romantic connection between us and she still has feelings for her ex." She has the attention of her ex again so she doesn't need you anymore. Enjoy the fact that you got to kiss and feel her up, as well as show her off and move on.

When her and her ex have problems again, she will likely turn to you to give her the attention she wants. Tell her to fuck off and don't contact you gain.

Wallace1488LeMay · 2017-03-07T07:07:16+00:00

Should have been a hard next after the 3rd date. Ghost the stupid bitch, delete and block her on everything. Join a local fascist organization. Read everything you can about Enrico Corradini, Julius Evola, and Corneliu Codreanu.

notadaddy · 2017-03-07T01:00:17+00:00

Source: I'm a dumbass.

So I had this girl over, kino cuddling etc, but she tells me she's tired, she's spending the night so I'm like no worries, morning sex. Then it's all weird in the morning. She does cook breakfast so all good but after that I kinda knew I fucked up. She texts me half hour later after she left she feels no romantic connection and that she is talking to some other guy. Oh, I forgot to mention she drove an hour to get to my place.

Lesson learned: if she comes over, it's fair game, and pay attention to what she does, not what she says.

Title	I think I just got redpilled
Author	divan93
Upvotes	165
Comments	91
Date	March 6, 2017 4:11 PM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/TheRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/5xu1ya/i_think_i_just_got_redpilled/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/TheRedPill/i-think-i-just-got-redpilled.41475 https://theredarchive.com/post/41475

Comments

TL;DR: OP meets average tinder chick. She wants nothing from him but attention and OP is naive enough to keep hoping for something more without escalating. sigh When will people learn..