I would not marry again.

blackchadthundercock · 2016-05-05T16:34:17+00:00

NO WAY IN FUCK WILL I EVER MARRY AGAIN

My divorce literally went through today and I got out with just a tiny chunk of ass missing. But it could've been a LOT worse. Too much benefit for the woman and NONE for the man. Bullshit.

DON'T GET MARRIED..DON'T GET MARRIED..DON'T GET MARRIED..

massivewang · 2016-05-05T03:21:17+00:00

I'll never get married because of what I see when I look around me. For example:

I am living in Brazil for work. I have a Brazilian friend who we'll call Alex. Alex is:

Jacked
A police officer
A pilot for the police
Possesses all of the qualities of a good man (kind, hard working, not a push over, etc).

Alex was married to Jennifer. Jennifer decided to divorce Alex because she was not able to adjust to the new location work assigned Alex to (family in another state, difficulty meeting new people, etc)

She didn't leave Alex because he was:

unfaithful
abusive
lazy
mistreating her in anyway

She left Alex because she was unhappy.

When I look at shit like this, I ask "who the fuck can win?". A perfectly good man left frivolously, and if I'm honest I'm not half the man he is. The game is rigged, I'm not interested in gambling my life away under these conditions.

103342 · 2016-05-05T00:56:06+00:00

I think it is funny how some guys still insist in the idea of marriage.

I'm not american and the laws in my country are a lot less squewed than in a the USA and Europe. And I would still advise people not to get married.

If you believe in TRP and what it says about the nature of women, you shouldn't want to get married either.

The initial idea of marriage is dead for a long fucking time, these days it is just insanity.

I feel bad for the guys that insist in doing it, they will be back in TRP in a few years spewing all the anger shit.

I've said this a lot of times here: I would actually like to have a family and specially kids, but I'm not doing it without believing it would actually work long-term.

I wish al the luck and frame for the guys that decide to get on in this shit-show. I'm not gonna do it unless there is some serious social change in the current system.

NeoreactionSafe · 2016-05-05T02:07:17+00:00

While I agree that "Do Not Marry" is good advice it still is just the tip of the iceburg on Child Support Laws.

This is a blindspot I think... here and elsewhere.

In a weird way since you have a gun pointed at your head any time you create a child then the desire to create a masculine polarity situation is even more important than ever.

If you can make the mother of your children "look up" to you as you being "above" her (meaning she accepts the feminine role and likes it) then you have the best scenario.

And so it can be argued that:

Once you have a child then marriage is not significantly worse.

It's the fact of childbirth and the Child Support Laws that actually drive things.

You can't escape this these days.

Remember that Child Support Laws did not exist before 1950.

redpillschool · 2016-05-05T00:24:56+00:00

Thanks for beginning the discussion. One part that I do agree with is standing by a commitment that you made. While I wouldn't recommend marriage to anybody, if I got married before I knew TRP, my mission would be to make good on my commitments.

I fully support putting your all into finishing what you've started.

As somebody currently in a LTR, I am very interested in discussion on exactly how to keep proper boundaries in a relationship to keep things on the up and up.

Archterus · 2016-05-05T02:31:34+00:00

married man here, agree with the move, thanks. Look forward to the discussions, and BTW, do not marry!

Wel108 · 2016-05-05T00:42:11+00:00

Mandatory joint custody laws would be a good start. Needing absolute proof that the other is a bad parent to revoke custody can go a long way towards making sure women honor their commitments.

tb87670 · 2016-05-05T04:38:07+00:00

Since she controls sex, I have to counter with my commitment. If I pull the commitment, it costs me half my net worth and (likely)custody of any children. If she pulls sex, nothing happens. She holds all the cards which is key to the argument that its not in a man's interest to marry (legally, state sanctioned).

Very accurate and succinct description of exactly the problem with marriage right now. I suggest this small paragraph as sidebar material and it's a good start for the new flair.

red4455 · 2016-05-05T01:09:17+00:00

Thanks. I've been in a LTR before I read TRP. MRP was oddly religious and the logic wasn't there.

I've been dancing around trying to soak up advice but it's hidden in TRP. My LTR is better due to TRP and I believe that TRP + the right girl makes a great relationship. But also in the back corner, having the power to leave is really what makes my LTR behave. Dread game and potentially leaving when you have assets really fucking works. Really fucking works.

I will never get married. I've convinced my LTR that this is the way forward (women take the form you set) and it is so.

Denswend · 2016-05-05T00:45:51+00:00

I have no pretensions about myself. I am not special. I am not some protagonist of a Chinese cartoon no matter how much I think that would be cool. The same laws that apply to rest, apply to me. The same rules that others are guided by, guide me too. To tell otherwise is to actively lie to myself.

My own instincts are good for short animalistic purposes. But they are fundamentally vulnerable at some academic quakery - as long it sounds good. A proper indoctrination can shell out even the most base instict of mine. You don't believe me? Skoptsy castrated themselves because they believed they are closer to God. Moloch demanded babies into pyres, and rarely were pyres not stoked. If a man can be persuaded to kill his own, to castrate himself, he can be persuaded into slow death that is marriage. If a man can be persuaded, then I too can be persuaded. I'm not special, I'm just a man.

If X puts an average man at a worse position, chances are that X will put me too at a worse starting position.

Look, I'm down with RP "married" flavour. But it shouldn't be proscripitve - "you should marry brah, it works for my special snowflake". It should be descriptive.

In other words, we should help those already married ameliorate their bad position. Not promoting marriage. Cutting off a gangrene.

One way to do this is to put massive, bolded lettering saying "DO NOT MARRY" before each "married TRP post".

redpillschool · 2016-05-05T00:44:18+00:00

Getting married in this political climate is like letting a blind man guide you through a minefield.

JohnnySkidmarx · 2016-05-05T01:07:34+00:00

If she pulls sex, you have to decide if cheating on her is a risk you're willing to take. For some guys it works out well.

Il128 · 2016-05-05T05:13:38+00:00

She's not yours, it's just your turn.

Cristoff13 · 2016-05-05T06:35:38+00:00

I think that the power dynamic in any LTR is fucked as soon as that relationship turns into a legal contract. Once that happens many of the dread avenues a man can employ are destroyed. This fucks up the attraction for a woman.

Marriage is a bad tactical move from any man in the current legal state of affairs.

MGHOW_ATL · 2016-05-05T13:21:27+00:00

Long ago, before the Internet, I decided early that I never wanted kids, and it became clear that there was no point to it otherwise.

20 years before TRP I was watching friends in their marriages and divorces; the most shell shocked ones were the childless. It was instinct then, and pure knowledge now, that the kids were the only thing that made things bearable for my married friends (also were the invisible shackles but diff subject). Same shit but at least with a purpose. The marriage MATTERED.

No kids or plans of kids = no reason to even consider wifing her.

Caveat: nuclear families are important, so I support marriage TO THE RIGHT MOTHER OF YOUR FUTURE CHILDREN. If you want kids, you have to accept all the shackles. If not, PLAY ON, and #NeverRing.

Edit: last paragraph shackles....still have to bring TRP focus and thought to the day to day existence, but it is not right to create a Life and not commit to the mother at least until the Life can be on its own. Mama can't rule the Nest, but if she's having your babies, you need to be involved.

En_sigma · 2016-05-05T14:49:12+00:00

I am an approved member of the MRP - Married 25 ish years and together for 27ish years. I was 21 and she was 18 when we married. Many moons ago.

There are a couple of things about my wife that I have not seen elsewhere (unicorn alert). She does not swear. Ever. I have never heard one (real) cuss word fly. Even before we started going to church, she just does not curse. It is the rarest (oddest) thing. Her mother does, her grandmother does, but she does not. In her teen years she got up and made her bed first thing every morning. After I taught her how to cook (her mom is entry level at best), she ran with it and really makes some great dinners that are waiting on me when I get home from work (SAHM). Don't think that she is not AWALT, because she flat out is, but there are some valuable traits that she has that I have not found elsewhere in my 45+ years.

One evening, soon after we decided that she could stop her BC pills cuz I got the snip, she growled, "Your voice is pissing me off!" I put her in the truck and we got the prescription filled post haste. But that is as close as I have ever heard her come.

She has never lowered the boom on me - that is, she has never even hinted at divorce. She has not left for a night (when it was her idea), slept on the couch, run home to her mother or anything like that in 25+ years. The only time divorce came up is when I got old and wise enough (read that as "uneducated Red Pill in the wild") about 10 years ago and told myself that I will be dammed if I am going to live like this anymore. This epiphany struck during a weekly, Mount Vesuvius-sized shat test. Long story short, I told her I was we done, calling my atty in the morning and since this is my house not ours, she needed to pack what she needed and find somewhere else. In order, she laughed at me, pushed back, dared me to go ahead, expressed disbelief the next day when I did speak with my atty (yeah, now I am the bad guy), tried to negotiate, then accused me of being inflexible, non-apology (I am a jerk for not accepting), then sudden tears, heartfelt apology, then begging followed by me setting the boundaries.

It was during the divorce research that I found this sub. HOLY CRAP!!! THERE IS A NAME FOR THIS?!? DUDES TALK ABOUT IT AND OFFER FREAKIN" ADVICE?!?!? Married Red Pill had not been created yet.

With all of that said, and admitting that TRP in general (that includes MRP) has made my marriage better, I still advise my teen-aged son to never consider marriage. And if he ever does, come talk to me about it. It is pure truth that is has no upside for a man - even the elation of holding your children for the first time is tainted with the fact that she can snatch them away at the slightest whim.

EDIT: spelling, grammar.

n8dawwg · 2016-05-05T04:12:11+00:00

Women don't usually contribute anything to a marriage, yet they will reap the most rewards when they just choose to leave for a good fling with Chad.

BlackJ1 · 2016-05-05T01:13:13+00:00

It's clear for men that getting married is not in their best interests however how would you explain that to men on here who are religious?

Who believe in marriage, one man and one wife life, and yada yada?

2016-05-05T02:07:11+00:00

A lot of us are being influenced to get married because of our religious family or other influences in society but ultimately it is our choice whether we want to take the risk or not.

djbarroso85 · 2016-05-05T02:45:37+00:00

This is a topic of conversation that I have been dancing around discussing here.

Me: single living with baby momma of my 2 year old daughter and her 6 year old son (not mine).

I'm a born and raised Christian that is currently having a sort of crisis of faith, if you will. Not relevant at the moment. The core beliefs are still there, and oddly enough TRP fits in very well with most of them. Also, looking back at some of the more prominent biblical characters, it would be easy to make a case that TRP has its roots in ancient biblical men.

Anyways, my dilemma is that I want to be there every possible moment that I can be for my daughter. This leads me to a sort of conflict with the mom who naturally wants to get married. The problem as I see it is that she doesn't want to get married because she wants to marry me. For her it's a "all my friends and everybody I know is getting married".

Our relationship started off well with me being a total red piller, though I didn't know what that was at the time. But I made a few errors along the way because I didn't know better and now I've put myself into a bind where I either have to commit or have to have a really really good backup plan where I can still win.

I am a monogamist, it's just been ingrained in me. I have no desire to cheat, though I am not immune to the wondering eye syndrome. (Look but don't touch)

My goals here are

1) not ever have to pay child support and be at the mercies of the mother to see my daughter. (She's pretty bad to her sons dad so I have good reasons here)

2) avoid marriage, for the moment, until the mother has an epiphany and realizes what marriage means for the woman:)

3) avoid at all costs a situation where she may choose to bring another man into her life. Quite frankly, I am the best and most stable relationship she has ever had. If I am out of the picture, she will revert to her old childish ways and my daughter will suffer the consequences....not acceptable at all.

I have some Massive conflicts of interest here, and I've been working on fixing this for three years. For instance, I've gotten her to be more responsible and not drink/smoke/party all the time. I've calmed her down a lot and tamed her to where she doesn't just get into crap with people for no reason. But her mom just passed away and I'm having to deal with an emotional train wreck which is not fun at all.

Basically, I need fresh insight because I fear I have tunnel vision now and discussing this with friends and family isn't an option right now.

slayerbizkit · 2016-05-05T14:26:16+00:00

This is an idea I've been playing around with in my head but want some input. My family is from Central America, and more and more, I feel if I'm going to find wifey material, it's going to be from that part of the world (where gender roles are more rigid/respected and strong family ties/honor keep everyone in check) I figured if I'm going to get married, it's going to be in a church outside of America, a symbolic wedding if anything, and not some weird legal contract formed in the U.S.

Do I still run the risk of opening myself to financial liabilities if things don't go as planned, even if I opt to get married outside of the U.S. ?

cj_aubrey · 2016-05-05T16:54:18+00:00

Since she controls sex, I have to counter with my commitment. If I pull the commitment, it costs me half my net worth and (likely)custody of any children. If she pulls sex, nothing happens.

This is the core of it. You are legally obligated to provide what she wants and she has zero obligation to provide what you want. Would you enter into a business relationship on these terms? Would you have anything to do with a person who asked or demanded you to engage with them on these terms?

not_slater_yet · 2016-05-05T17:44:27+00:00

Being in an LTR with a BPD was enough to never marry for me. I can't imagine how hard it is for these poor saps. My condolences.

2016-05-05T14:26:04+00:00

Its all reward to the woman.

Looking in I would disagree, there is a risk to the Woman. She could waste time and her youth investing in a bad bet, when she could be securing someone better. Or a worst case scenario, getting knocked up by a loser. If that happens, the top tier of Men is pretty much locked out to her.

I'd put forward that Dread game is really the only way to remind her of that fact that she has something at stake too, as her risk is only ever realised if you leave.

Funny though, if you said "No-one will want a divorced Woman if I left" you'd probably be arrested for emotional abuse.

aiguo888 · 2016-05-05T23:54:03+00:00

I don't have perfect answers for men who want kids down the road.

I do. Don't. The world is stacked against you unless you live innawoods far away from bad influences.

bm2l · 2016-05-06T03:43:52+00:00

Why would you even get married the first time

sir_wankalot_here · 2016-05-05T02:35:15+00:00

Principals and rules are not the same thing. For the simple minded, they need rules.

Posted here before. Tiger Mike got the money for Tiger Oil by marrying. Most likely he was an Iranian illegal immigrant, no one really knows where he came from except he appeared in Texas.

40+ years after Tiger oil, he is still making big deals and taking a cut. With Tiger Oil it failed because of the oil price slump, but he still managed to make money off it.

http://www.lettersofnote.com/2010/08/tiger-oil-memos.html

2016-05-05T08:34:08+00:00

TRP does an amazing job in showing marriage for what it really is in this day and age.

Personally i was never a fan of marriage, alimony and child support are factors yeh, but even without them I personally dont see why should I ever want to get married. I'm not dying to have kids. And I dont subscribe to any religion and whatever "nuclear family" conservative concept.

But everyone is different. So for my fellow trp comrades who want to get married, just make sure you have enough ammo to prepare for the worst. lawyer up at the earliest stages, Have a prenup (as if it matters, but have it anyways), and follow the sidebar religiously.

play_time_is_over · 2016-05-05T09:31:28+00:00

I feel like if you want to have kids and a wife then you need to be ready to conpromise and have sex once a week somewhere down the road.

Or just marry way bekoe your league and have girlfriends on the side.

2016-05-05T11:06:04+00:00

Personally I agree that marriage is shit.

I can see three possible reasons for wanting to be married:

1) Religion is an important part of who you are. 2) You desire to raise kids and want to do it responsibly. 3) You have high ambitions in politics (or some sort of work where the highest ranking are 100% married.)

That said, this is the red pill. If you are one of these men make it your business to know everything about pre-nups, shared assets, anything related to marriage that can get you some advantages on your side.

Since you aren't marrying for love (at least I hope you aren't) you should be very cold and calculating about the whole affair. Choose a woman who fits your use for her. No reason to marry an attractive party girl if you're looking for a woman to have kids with. Might be an option if your needs are more along the lines of a trophy wife. IF you need to be married to be respected in your religious community, find a woman that will be that kind of wife.

I'm not going to tell you to find out dirty secrets about her to sort of blackmail her with or use Machiavellian psychological games to keep her dominated. That would be wrong. So forget I brought it up.

TLDR: For all the normal Red Pill reasons I'll never get married again, but I respect the decision of those who do for one of the three reasons I mentioned. Just be aware and careful.

scarletspider3 · 2016-05-07T00:32:06+00:00

We need to make a LTR red pill for those of us who are in something like a marriage but are not signing the contract

ecosci · 2016-05-31T21:34:40+00:00

You cant give a damn if she leaves thats why you gotta have options it turns women on because of competition from other hot women but why marry just avoid the drama and be single because it will dissolve your sanity in a matter of days.

Title	I would not marry again.
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	110
Comments	171
Date	May 5, 2016 12:16 AM UTC (10 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/TheRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/4hxh0j/i_would_not_marry_again/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/TheRedPill/i-would-not-marry-again.58189 https://theredarchive.com/post/58189

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