I'm addicted to cold approach, makes me miserable

DocHollidayHucklbery · 2023-01-20T02:17:33+00:00

Sounds like you need to stop thinking about broads until you get your general life shit together. If you live with your parents as an adult and you’re not handicapped that means you have things to work on.

Edit: nvm it looks like you are a student? Living with parents is fine then. Focus on your studies and internships if they’re necessary for your area of work. Get a job to make money to afford your own place. Chicks are supposed to be a side benefit, not your main focus. Yes, a lot of posts on this sub are geared toward fucking, but that is with the assumption that you have your life together.

Crotons · 2023-01-20T09:35:45+00:00

Have you considered transferring your skill into sales? You could alter the trill aspect into one of seeking money instead of seeking sex.

revente · 2023-01-20T04:07:34+00:00

I'm just looking for sex which is just sad.

It’s an innate human need, there’s nothing sad about seeking it.

Your time isn’t wasted. You’re building valuable skills that will last you a lifetime. And they translate super well to making friends or even a career in sales.

Also you will remember many of these adventures for your whole life. You can’t say the same thing about days spent playing video games or watching netflix.

319Skew · 2023-01-20T03:57:11+00:00

What's wrong with people these days? This isn't just you OP but a lot of people. Each day there's a new thing.

Guys who go online to ask if it's alpha to order a burger or get a steak. No frame of reference.

Women who believe that at 37 with three kids and a house of debt...they're a prize. Delusion.

People who have the emotional resilience of wet toilet paper. Lack of resolve and adversity.

Every feeling is valid. Everything matters. Superficiality galore!

Every hardship from going to work when you don't want to...to having a stranger, you don't know, reject your advances...like climbing mount fucking Everest.

What happened to common sense? Seriously.

OP, if you're struggling with the feeling you get from rejection, you may need professional help. No one here is qualified to assist you. I'm not saying this because I'm trying to be an asshole. I'm saying that it shouldn't take 5 years to internalize TRP and be crippled by an addiction to rejection.

Like how? How do you get there?

Take accountability for your failure and correct your trajectory.

Scorchyy · 2023-01-20T11:48:34+00:00

You gotta learn to estimate their level of interest instead of shooting your shot at whatever. Girls will give you their IG for the attention they get, those who are really interested in you (9 out of a 10 scale) will behave differently than the ones who gave you their IG then ghost you. Don’t walk up to every woman you see, go to the one that looks you in the eyes like there’s nothing else in the world.

JamesSkepp · 2023-01-20T07:38:38+00:00

So I basically have the opposite problem

You guys should meet and go out together :D

I need to go out every friday and saturday and approach as much girls as possible to potentially find one that's dtf

This isn't game, this is blind man playing darts. You're supposed to do a few things besides just showing up in front of her and expecting her to fuck you.

You can do these types of approaches, but for them to "work" you have to either be very attractive or have certain "mental" state (it has to be experienced first, it's hard to emulate that if you don't know the underlying experience), or a combination of both. If your "game" is "only approach and expect her to want to fuck", 2 out of 400 isn't unusual number, this was tested multiple times, I think there even was a few infield videos documenting that.

Long story short, your approach to the entire thing is like showing up on an airport and expecting this to be the correct way to be fly an airliner. I mean, pilots do show up on airport often and fly airliners every time.

It got me laid only 2 times with fat girls and I probably approached about 400+ girls

Depends on how un-attractive you are. Depends on how and to what degree do your bungle your "game" after you open. Depends on your state. Depends on your BL. Depends on how you talk. Depends on how and if you're passing shit tests. Depends on how needy you are. Depends on how do you eject, if you do it too early on not early enough. There's a lot of things that you can fuckup, but then it's not hard to fix them at all.

What you have to do is to start being systematic about this stuff. Identify the sticking points and fix them one by one. You have the churn, you have the perfect opportunity - no AA, you already approach large numbers of girls.

Look up Mystery Method and see how this aligns with your experiences so far.

I can't just enjoy life in the present moment

Shortest way to fix, Eckhart Tolle the Power of Now.

I'm just looking for sex which is just sad

It's not. You just have the wrong strategy while doing it, don't turn technicalities into identity, life crisis or "depression".

And I can't even maximize it because I still live with my parents so I miss plenty of opportunities.

Nobody but you can change it. When you do, considering moving to even larger city. More nightclubs, more targets. EDIT: are you self-sabotaging (you deliberately fail the set after opening or hooking) your results b/c of lack of the place to bang?

Redpiller1988 · 2023-01-20T14:50:34+00:00

Nothing wrong with wanting to get laid all the time and looking for just sex with girls bro. Most chicks just want sex too. And consider yourself lucky to have a mentally that pushes you to cold approach like you do. That takes balls. Just saying hello to a stranger on the street puts you milestones ahead of the average guy. Most men on this planet will never ever approach a woman in real life. Also, game is hard man. It’s a numbers game. I’m happy to hear how far you’ve come. Don’t ever stop. The day you stop gaming is the day you stop living.

videogames_ · 2023-01-20T04:09:33+00:00

So your logistics suck but first lemme ask what’s your height? Are you overweight, fit, skinny fat? Are you putting effort in your haircut and general style? A haircut and fitted clothes goes a long way (in university I feel H&M and uniqlo is okay for clothing) my bet is you’re below average looks and on cold approaches your rate will be under 1% Chat to lay rate if you’re below average looks. Yes you’re slightly higher value for being brave to approach but any attractive woman has 100 guys on social media and dating apps waiting for her.

Is looking for sex just sad? During university you’d be surprised how many women are just looking for sex to fulfill their need for relaxation from all those exams or thinking it’ll make them more powerful “you go sis” don’t be ashamed of your sexual needs

juanmiret55 · 2023-01-20T17:21:12+00:00

If you approached 400 and only fucked 2 fatties then u have other issues u need to focus on before continuing to shoot to the air

oooKenshiooo · 2023-01-20T05:59:40+00:00

At this point maybe you are just a creep?

Fancy-Respect8729 · 2023-01-20T09:22:09+00:00

Sounds like you need to work on self development, life and self esteem.

getting-harder · 2023-01-20T13:26:12+00:00

You should always have a grind-feedback cycle when doing anything.

Do a couple approaches. Analyze results. Identify bottlenecks. make improvements. Reiterate.

Compare it to job applications:

400 applied but only 2 responded => improve resume
40 tech interviews but only 2 cleared=> work on technical skills
40 HR interviews but only 2 called back=> work on interpersonal skills
40 days of work followed by bad performance review=> improve your work

rocketsjohnny305 · 2023-01-20T18:15:15+00:00

Wtf are you even complaining about? You are doing what you should be doing at your age. Get a solid plan to get out of your parents house and a career. But otherwise - no issue here.

lokilis · 2023-01-20T20:23:30+00:00

My man... focus on self improvement

Princealvaro33 · 2023-01-26T03:35:11+00:00

You could try to create a goal that’s not related to women and focus on that only. And do some reading. Do you have friends?

Chicagoj1563 · 2023-01-27T15:47:57+00:00

Seems like there are a few things going on here, but there is a game concept that you are probably missing. It's the idea of sharing value vs taking value.

When you cold approach, it should be part of a lifestyle where you enjoy socializing with people. Namely, talking to women. You find it fun, and so does she most of the time. You don't care about numbers and outcomes. You are outcome independent. The focus is on the interactions themselves, and getting laid is a byproduct of the lifestyle and getting good with social skills. The value you get from it is the fun conversation with a hot girl. Again, she enjoyed the conversation and so did you. You made her day. Perhaps, she made yours.

Your focus is on sharing value. Meaning, a great fun conversation. That's what you look forward to. You know most guys don't even approach, let alone have a great interaction with the girl.

Compare this to taking value from the girl, or wanting something from her. If your focused on getting laid, or getting the number, or something along those lines, you are trying to take value from her. Its needy behavior.

Try to think of cold approach as a fun lifestyle where you are improving social skills and bringing a value packed conversation to the girl. You sound like your way too focused on outcomes and what you can get from the girl.

MattyAnon · 2023-01-31T21:48:38+00:00

I'm not even interested in getting in a relationship (never had one)

Good..... honestly relationships aren't that great.

I'm just looking for sex which is just sad.

Sex is great, nothing wrong with that..... it's just not EVERYTHING. Find some other purpose in your life.

My main issue is the fact I'm obsessed with it, I always think about ways to meet more girls, like go to dorms where I don't live to talk to girl there, go to uni partys/events uninvited, meet girls in class I'm not part of, etc. Makes me feel like a creep for having these ideas.

wanting to meet girls is fine, but you should be aiming to meet them and fuck them, and then minimise the time-cost in doing so.

Sounds like you are too caught up in the approaching phase, possibly as a way to avoid the next step.

Are you actually getting laid? It sounds like you aren't.

prankster999 · 2023-01-20T08:47:09+00:00

Andrew Tate to the rescue...

https://youtu.be/2C7tHK4erHM

Crixusgannicus · 2023-01-20T10:35:15+00:00

1) Approach is like teeing off or serving(tennis). You can be EXCELLENT at both and only rarely score with only that.

2)Suppose you could cold approach without it being an addiction AND without making you miserable or unhappy, such that you could enjoy life in the present moment and enjoy yourself?

CompleteRetard69 · 2023-01-20T15:50:02+00:00

If you can approach women everywhere, then you don’t need to go out at night.

lokilis · 2023-01-20T20:23:36+00:00

My man... focus on self improvement

hiktaka · 2023-01-21T00:18:19+00:00

Your cold approach probably is too random without watching for some early IOI, so you ends up embarass yourself more often than not.

Read more about indirect gaming, preselection, day game, etc

ExperientialDepth · 2023-01-21T00:22:58+00:00

You probably like the rush of flirting. Like someone else said, try sales for even better dopamine hits.

Kooky_Performance116 · 2023-01-21T20:49:14+00:00

The picking up girls at a club for a one night stand shit is a hard game bro. It can kill you mentally. You might have better success at the 2 date max game or one date max game etc.

You’ll have a way better chance of fucking quality girls if you take them on at least one date. When I was single any girl I took out I was fucking within 2 dates. Most were on the first date. But going out and just randomly picking up a girl at a bar or club was once in a blue moon thing.

Most women don’t want to feel like whores and need that one date At least to make them rationalize to themselves they’re not fucking some random.

virgilvile · 2023-01-24T20:44:05+00:00

This post is nothing but a humblebrag. BTW OP keep doing it these are rookie numbers, and read more of OG old-school redpill articles(I personally had to go out of my way and actively search the endorsed websites to find them), you still have a lot to understand.

bobklosak · 2023-01-27T01:38:46+00:00

400+ girls is actually not really that high volume actually.

I was doing about 320 every two months in 2014 and was pulling a new girl probably about every month so unless you did these approaches in well under a three month timespan I'd actually say your still way lower then I'd want you to be. I maintained this volume I am speaking of for an 8 month period and during that time period I closed 15 girls, 8 entirely from cold approach.

Additionally how far are you pushing these sets and how is your escalation?

Also why are you feeling like a creep. Maybe THAT feeling is why you aren't closing more?

You gotta be willing to risk creepy man.

https://heartiste.org/2013/01/29/ebook-review-60-years-of-challenge/

P.S: Don't gauge how many approaches you need to do based on most of the red pill community as most of the red pill community are socially inept (obviously as the socially inept have no where to go except here) and do to AA and other issues are underperforming far below your level and infinitely far below the level of volume to actually be good.

You're on a whole different category from most in this board but you need to do even more. You're about halfway there if I'm not full of shit.

P.S.S - I don't have a lot of sympathy for guys who let AA stop them because ultimately success is a choice. The guys who are the best at this PUA game are so because they choose greatness. The guys who fail do so because they choose fear. There are exceptions but I've been following this community for decades and that's a general jist.

Yes some guys have it worse then other guys but the guys who "win" are guys who learn to take on adversity in all it's forms and keep regrouping any time they fall off their metaphorical horse. The guys who don't do so well quit when they fall off the horse. This obviously doesn't mean you shouldn't take a breather it just means that your breather is just that a breather, then your right back at it.

robbedoeske · 2023-01-27T02:05:12+00:00

Cold approaches are a thing of the past. As soon as the smartphone and social media became a fact, girls lost their social skills. As soon as you approach a girl on the street you are seen as creepy / weird. The fact that OP fixed 2 fat girls after 400 approaches proves my point. The only place cold approaches work is in places where people are drugged or intoxicated, making them euphoric, loosened up and social. (Houseparties, clubs)

These days, the hot spots to fix girls are Tinder and Instagram. For high success rates you need a large number of followers on IG, perfect photos with many likes and comments. The more popular you are, and the more girls like your photos and comment, the more other girls want you.

I'm not saying cold approaches are completely useless. In fact, I recommend it if you see a girl you think is a perfect 10/10. The more often you dare to approach 10/10s, the more confidence you will grow. These types of women are often put on a pedestal by men because they feel inferior to her divine beauty. Once you learn to talk to these women like they're a 4/10, and not tolerate her disrespect, your value in her eyes rises. These women test men much more frequently because of all the attention they receive from beta males.

Just want to warn anyone reading this about the low chances of success. Don't bother approaching a 6/10, they are not worth the rejection.

IntelligenceLtd · 2023-01-31T14:50:49+00:00

Im gonna go out on a limb here and guess that beyond just straight approach your bringing nothing to the table and your esculation skills are probably dogshit, top of that if its been ruining your life your possibly have a deep lack of self awareness and what you actually want in life. No youre not addicted to it, youre OCD (about it) and you dont actually havent actually worked on having real inner confidence or charisma that would show you how to pick the moment its always gonna be a numbers game but a 1/200 ratio (of two fat girls lol) shows something else is up. try go to a psych or therapist and work through the deeper issues it will (evetually) gibve you much better sex

jobadahut76 · 2023-02-06T09:11:14+00:00

Approaching is only going to work if you're extremely well socialized, personable, and hold social status, and I'm positive you're not hitting that criteria.

Put yourself in groups or settings where it's socially normal and acceptable to talk to the girls, and just be chill and try to have a somewhat interesting conversation. You can read signs for if she's interested, and if not, you can be friends and meet more girls through her.

Do not cold approach, all it is going to do for you is damage you're reputation (depending on the environment) or maybe get you sex with a fat chick which sucks anyway.

Title	I'm addicted to cold approach, makes me miserable
Author	Scorchyy
Upvotes	91
Comments	101
Date	January 20, 2023 1:54 AM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/TheRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/10gk2wj/im_addicted_to_cold_approach_makes_me_miserable/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/TheRedPill/im-addicted-to-cold-approach-makes-me-miserable.1176685 https://theredarchive.com/post/1176685

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