Massive potential deal-breaker with prospective LTR

kikirikikokoroko · 2021-10-04T14:02:05+00:00

You are so naive it is endearing. I am an older guy who have seen everything that you can see, so I'll dissect your post, I hope you dont mind.

Your stats and background are OK, but nobody cares here about your salary, job or your "paid off German car", I mean, good for you, but it is obvious you think this somehow makes you "a good catch" for a girl. The world does not work like that.
You didnt say it outright but it seems the girl is older than you, maybe 1-2 years older. You must be 26-27 and she 27-28 with the dreaded wall approaching very very fast.She is operating on that premise, you are her beta-bucks ticket, no more work, no more financial worries, a little bit of sex here and there for you and the chances to fuck the actual Chads behind your back. If .you are dumb enough to wait for sex before marry her you are the perfect candidate, she know what she is doing.
The number she told you (4), I would VERY CONSERVATIVELY multiply it by 3, so at least 12 guys have rough fucked her. If she had actually fucked 4 guys, she would have told you 1 or 0.
What should you do from now on? The same thing you did when you learned Santa didnt exist, that Spooky was not sent to a distant cousin and that England was not going to win the WC. You mature and adapt to the world how it is and not how you wished it to be.
IF you want to marry to any girl, you need to accept that : she probably fucked at least a dozen guys before you. She has been alpha-widowed by 1-2 Chads. She can cheat at any moment time and you cannot do anything about it and that there is a high chance she will divorce you in a few years. It sounds cold and cruel but that is the truth. You may still get married but you have to be very mindful what you are getting into. This generation's marriages have almost nothing to do with the ones of your parents.
It seems gloomy but it doesnt need to be. You must work on you and you alone. You dont need any woman. You need to fuck ofc but you dont need to get married for that.If you want kids you dont need to get married either but if you do it, dont base your identity on being a husband or dad, both things can be taken away from you pretty quickly. Do your best but be always prepared for the worst (She cheats, she divorces you, your kids grow up to be asholes, etc etc)

GetBehindMeSatan666 · 2021-10-04T14:18:06+00:00

" I said yes. She immediately replied nervously laughing "yeah mee too hehe". Somehow, i should have been prepared for this answer but it was like my heart had been ripped from my body, my heart rate increased drastically, i found it hard to even think.

AWALT. Get over it man, this should not have been a surprise. Unless you're still in middle school the odds of you finding a virgin are very low. Every woman you come across has a past. Learn this. Dont get butthurt when you learn youre not the first or the last.

Why did marriage come into your mind after just 9 months??? You dont seem retarded yet here you are. Why would you engage in the body count conversation??? You clearly dont know her. This is a valuable lesson. Also 4 is probably a lie, but who cares? Plate her if you can but shes trying to "reform" herself so good luck with that. If you drop her youre gonna want to find a new church. Dating a girl from church is shitting where you eat. Dont do this. Are you actually there to worship or are you there to pick up pussy? Dont conflate the 2

NightwingTRP · 2021-10-04T16:33:04+00:00

What does this contribute? What lessons have been learned?

The fact you even tolerated multiple dates without sex was enough to say "you need to spin plates." This is a textbook example of attempting to use red pill tools for blue pill fantasies.

Teacup000 · 2021-10-04T15:12:42+00:00

If it bothers you now, it's definitely always going to bother you. I'd move on. I know someone who was with a very promiscuous girl for about two years and it never got better. He married a virgin and is much, much happier.

The thing that makes oneitis work, in my opinion, is if both partners truly believe they couldn't do any better and feel really lucky to have found their SO. It's hard to see lifelong commitment as worth it otherwise.

If it's any consolation, I've known plenty of girls wanting/planning on waiting until marriage.

Mustbeaight · 2021-10-04T14:49:13+00:00

Lol did she even tell you she was a virgin initially? Or did you just want to believe it? Lol

Church girls are freaks bruv. I thought it was clear

ChrimsonChin988 · 2021-10-04T17:08:38+00:00

I don't think there is necessarily a huge problem here. Virtually all girls who are into their 20s have had 5+ sexual partners. Unless it's 20+ I wouldn't say it's an huge issue. (Remember they could've gotten dick every night they went out ever) So if girls go to college for say 5 years on average, let's give them the benefit of the doubt and say they go to parties every other week, that's a bare minimum of 5 x 26 = 130 times they could've gotten cock on average. (For some it's 100s or even a 1000 opportunities...) So even if they only take a guy up on the offer 1/10 times that's still an n count of 13 at age 23-24.

The problem isn't that she lied about it either because almost all will (except the stupid/naïve ones). Because unconsciously they know we judge (exactly what you did).

Another thing probably is the realization that while she gave it away to other guys 'for free' she insisted on making you wait until marriage (probably because she thinks you're a nice BB she can drain). Understandable you don't want to pay full price for a product others have gotten for free but that's how it works if you are not AF.

The real issue is with yourself & your delusions about women which were triggered by this.

This is only the beginning of your journey on this sub you have a long way to go because this post demonstrates you do, in fact, not 'know AWALT'. You maybe have somewhat understood this concept in theory but never seen it happen right in front of your eyes and REALIZE it.

The issue IS NOT that she was 'railed' by 4 other guys either. The issue is you thought you could have a woman all to yourself if you 'found the right one'. That's why we say no unicorns & it's only your turn.

Powerfucking5000 · 2021-10-04T20:41:59+00:00

She also encouraged me back into my faith.

One word: Frame. You don't have it. You stepped into her frame. It's great you're back in church but was this your envisioned reality for your life or is it hers? If faith and church is something you want then it has to be on your terms. You pick the church, you figure out what the fuck to believe.....though I'm assuming you're protestant with that statement.

She later added within a 4 year period, she had slept with 4 guys who are non Christians and met them all at her places of work non of those were relationships.

If she's an 8/10 girl and mid-20 something, why wasn't she snatched up a couple years ago? Is she a career first type of girl?

Anyway, the only thing the above quote tells me is she sees you as the beta provider. She fucked and sucked pagan men outside of a relationship but it's been 9 months for you without your dick dripping with her cunt juices. In fact, you can't get any without an official marriage. I know it hurts not being her first considering her faith and love for God. Likely she did things with those men that she wouldn't do with you (read Saving the best by Rollo). Women make rules for betas and break rules for alphas. Understand?

where on earth do you go from here.

The side bar. Focus and work on yourself.

I am having serious doubts that i could marry her.

Yeah you can't marry this broad. In fact, don't consider marriage until you're 30 with an established, fun life that you love and making lots of money. At that point you can visit your local Bible college and have your pick of any of the 20 year old virgins you want.

The red pill vets here will tell you to spin plates and this is exactly what you need to be doing. The oneitis that you had for this "unicorn" has fucked your world up because you don't know female nature.

Im in two minds here, end the relationship, or accept it and pretend that doesn't matter and progress the relationship, however that will always be on the back of my mind.

Your jealousy will get the best of you and you will hate the bitch for swallowing and digesting other men's loads who didn't give her a second thought afterwards. The whole purity marriage business is a LARP of what Christians believe their bible teaches. Maybe it does but these ideals don't work in current Western culture. Best to work on yourself and if that includes church, make sure you do everything where your happiness is paramount.

A happy man is a happy relationship. A happy woman is a miserable man. - Patrice O'neal

Good luck.

Lucazzz14 · 2021-10-04T14:50:56+00:00

Some of my favourite relationships were with a devoted Catholic who wanted to wait for sex before marriage, a Muslim who thought the same, and an Indian girl who wanted to be with an Indian guy. Don't get me wrong, I'm sure there are genuine girls who are saving their virginity for marriage and kudos to them, but the vast majority are bullshitting. Only take that excuse at face value.

I'm glad you mentioned what you did in the last paragraph and I believe that's why many men emphasise on a woman's body count (imo it's down to how the individual reacts). To be a bit blunt, all this is because you were naive and had the rose tinted glasses on. Putting her on a pedal stool and making up expectations of her in your head. What I will say is that don't be like that if you do go for another relationship.

All I can say is women can be just as active as men, if not more and they don't make it obvious because of the backlash. You can either accept it or be in denial and moan about it in your room. If a virgin is a preference of yours, there's nothing wrong with that either but you will be drastically lowering your prospects. This obviously bothers you and you can either talk about it or drop her. And not in an asshole way either, if one of your factors of a good relationship is sex then tell her. If, for whatever reason, she isn't on the same page then it is what it is. At least the lightbulb went off in your head about being more willing with other guys before.

FrenCan16 · 2021-10-04T16:37:58+00:00

It's fucking lunacy that you guys are both not virgin but won't have sex together. What a weird dynamic you've bought yourself into.

Schhwing · 2021-10-04T22:48:13+00:00

You’re such a douche bro. You were in the false fantasy land that if she denies you sex she’s somehow higher value. And you expected a hot mid twenties to be a virgin, the likelihood of that these days has got to be near zero.

Also she definitely slept with more than 4 guys.

All women like sex.

That this has changed your view on her suggests more about you than it does about her. You’re probably just ashamed that you’ve been talking to a girl for 9 months and have only kissed her while now you know she puts out. Get out of Christian fantasy land.

L3onard3 · 2021-10-04T19:45:18+00:00

Why do you think she’s such an obedient church worshiper? Hint: because she’s such an obedient cock worshipper. Just not yours.

Protocol_Apollo · 2021-10-04T22:15:39+00:00

Ive been talking to a girl from Church (Hb 8)

Always gotta be careful of church girls. Typically, they are freakier than average.

for about 9 months, (dating for 3 because of covid restrictions) shes in her mid/late 20's too.

And so by this point, you should have done all the sexual stuff and are now evaluating for ltr potential yes?

She said on the first date that we have to wait until marriage to have sex or even kiss??

Oh.

So after all that time, you haven’t even banged her yet.

However since then we have kissed.

So, she claimed she doesn’t have sex nor kiss before marriage, but yet kissed you.

This is when you should have definitively realised this was a fake and dumb rule she made recently for betas.

More on the optimum path later.

Nevertheless, i was glad to wait for it as she didnt seem like the usual modern sluts who ride the CC and she was passing a lot of green flags.

Why were you glad to wait? What were the green flags? Or were you projecting said green flags?

I was cuddling her in my car and she sheepishly asked me the question "have you been with someone out of a relationship" I said yes. She immediately replied nervously laughing "yeah mee too hehe".

Really? You were surprised? The same girl who claimed she doesn’t kiss or bang before marriage but yet kissed you could never have done that with other guys?

Somehow, i should have been prepared for this answer but it was like my heart had been ripped from my body, my heart rate increased drastically, i found it hard to even think.

See, you weren’t that surprised. You knew what she was like, you knew all this was a facade but you chose to believe it and deceive yourself.

"are you shocked, i was scared to tell you because i didn't want you to think different of me" I replied "a little, but its better to be honest with each other"

Good response. Can’t let her know the full gravity of it.

I would feel like an absolute mug if i had to wait until marriage to have sex when she presented none of those conditions to the guys she met at work.

What’s one of the rules of Tomassi?

Any woman who makes you wait for sex, or by her actions implies she is making you wait for sex; the sex is NEVER worth the wait.

Girls are sex objects, they know their primary value comes from sex, that’s what they use to get what they want.

That’s why you can use it as an indicator of interest.

Even if she was genuinely a virgin, if she was making you wait until marriage, you’d still be fucked. Making you wait means they just aren’t that interested/in love with you.

There isn’t much difference between the fake virgin making you wait and a real virgin making you wait.

A real virgin would break her rule of waiting for marriage for her alpha.

Im in two minds here, end the relationship, or accept it and pretend that doesn't matter and progress the relationship, however that will always be on the back of my mind.

You need to read the sidebar.

You assumed she was a unicorn. You assumed she wasn’t a slut. You assumed her innocence (despite knowing the truth deep down).

You must flip this.

You must assume every girl you encounter is a slut. A slut waiting to show you her slutty side. You must assume guilt and wait to be proven innocence, for rarely will you be proven wrong.

If you assume innocence, it won’t be long for them to prove guilt as you’ve seen.

SeasonedRP · 2021-10-04T15:26:30+00:00

How does this have anything to do with RP? It sounds like you should be on a religious sub.

Agreable_Actuator84 · 2021-10-04T14:55:13+00:00

I don’t know if there is a right or wrong answer here. If you break it off, no guarantee you will find someone with less than 4 body count unless you go younger. Maybe you will, maybe you won’t. I think it possible but not easy and not a sure thing.

To me the bigger issue is can she imprint on you emotionally as her best alpha option. Apex mindset on you tube has some good videos on this issue. The problem isn’t her past as much as her bonding happily with you today.

Also, the other issue is do you have enough abundance/choice to make a good decision. If you aren’t in a committed sexual relationship with her, why aren’t you dating others at the same time?

Good luck! I understand your concerns. You are a high value man and don’t want to be buying used when you can by new.

MomentSpecialist2020 · 2021-10-04T16:25:10+00:00

If you do want anything like marriage, must get a prenup to protect yourself. Good luck. 🍀

throwitdownman · 2021-10-04T17:39:23+00:00

And now the autists are flooding the main sub. How is this garbage even allowed on here?

deeznutsbeswingin · 2021-10-04T23:40:06+00:00

Church girls are just as slutty as the rest, they’re generally just a lot more submissive. You read her feminine/submissive nature as her being a virgin.. bro she’s almost 30, she’s been on the cc and has seen some dick, and now she’s in church playing the good girl looking for a husband before her eggs dry up. It is what it is

Seneca_13 · 2021-10-04T16:23:26+00:00

Firstly let's multiply her admitted N count by 3 and you'll have a more accurate number, around 12 to 15.

Secondly, embrace your jealousy, that shocking feeling is millions of years of evolution telling you something is wrong. It is an instinctive compulsion designed to shock you into taking action.

There is a spectrum of crimes that will trigger a reaction from your innate jealous instinctive compulsion. It can be any offense from your girl simply finding another guy attractive, to actively flirting with other guys consciously or subconsciously, to her cuckolding you by getting gangbanged by the choir. Make no mistake, if you are getting a jealous reaction, she is guilty of something on the spectrum, the question is how great is the offense.

Thirdly, she knows that her past will one day insert itself into her relationship with you and challenge the person she has so far created to impress you. She is testing to see what you are willing to put up with by trickle truthing you. If you simply accept it she will use it against you by saying that you knew she had a past.

Lastly, you seem like the type who wants only one woman. If so then that's fine but do not commit to this woman until she puts out and is enthusiastic about it, IF SHE DOESN'T PUT OUT THEN DROP HER LIKE A TON OF BRICKS. You are free to do what you want regardless but I feel I need to do my part by warning you whether you listen or not.

You won't find a unicorn, they don't exist. There is no such thing as a God fearing virgin, there is no such thing as a woman saving herself for marriage. There are no consequences for a whore who claims to be a virgin only for the husband to hit nothing but air when he first puts his dick in her.

You don't have to break it off with her, but don't marry her and don't commit to her, if she is unwilling to put out then she does not respect you. Respect is everything.

TaliscaCertified · 2021-10-04T20:55:14+00:00

Dude fuck off. Do you think we still live in 1810? Women have been fucking like crazy in this generation. She told you only 4. Bro 4 is nothing nowadays. Many bitches have like 30. She is in her late 20s and the clock is ticking. She want to settle. So if you’re cool with all that go ahead. But my advice is bro you can get a much more young woman. Getting married in your 20s is not a good idea. You are still young so have fun.

_pacjax · 2021-10-04T22:08:10+00:00

bro #1 never answer ANY question about your sex life whatsoever. #2 make it clear to these hoes you dont want to know shit about their dirty closet of dick. shut that shit down asap

The1ndex · 2021-10-05T01:44:24+00:00

Awalt.

The church good girl tucking you back into her religion is a shit test. You failed.

You should have chuckled at her and withdrawn attention. She’d be draining your balls today.

Organic_Principle772 · 2021-10-05T01:48:10+00:00

She told you she's done 4 dudes without being in a relationship. Those are the one night stands she liked. Now add the one night stands that were terrible she pretends didn't happen. Now add the dudes she fucked but dropped her after a couple weeks. Now add the dudes that strung her out for a few months. Now add a few bfs.

She's easily 10+ for SURE.

oooKenshiooo · 2021-10-04T14:10:12+00:00

No, I have not been in a similar situation...

... because I am not a gullible idiot.

Darkside_Socrates · 2021-10-04T13:47:16+00:00

Im not a Christian, à villainous Saracen rather, but drop her brother, you can get a way better girl with no bodies on her record. Know your worth. Abundance mentality. It's hard to find a girl who hasn't been a hoe in this age in the West, but it is possible. Don't hamster your way back to a girl you know is essentially a reformed hoe

staytrue2014 · 2021-10-04T16:33:36+00:00

My take on it is you need to man up. If this is a deal breaker for you then be honest and let her know. Don't pretend like you're not bothered by it, sulk like a baby and then ghost on her. At least she was honest with you telling you about her past, most people won't even do that much.

You say you're a Christian, you attend Church. Do you understand the concept of repentance and forgiveness? Has this woman sufficiently examined her own conscience with regards to her sexual past and repented of her sins? Have you? Does she accept, understand and agree with Church teaching on sexuality and marriage and the roles of men and women therein? Do you?

Sounds like you want to marry a virgin, which is all fine and dandy, but you are not a virgin yourself? What if you find a lovely young virginal woman at Church that ticks all your boxes and she drops you once she finds out about your impure past? How would you react?

I think the fact that you had such a visceral reaction to her telling you this is telling. I think you need to spend some time with yourself as to where that came from. If a woman's sexual past has the ability to disrupt your internal state to the point where you have a minor heart attack, push it down and then pretend like you're fine, then that is a problem. Sounds like a self esteem issue to me. You sound like you've done well for yourself and that's fantastic, but maybe it's time work on yourself internally as oppose to externally now.

Also if you're a Christian then be a Christian full stop. Go all in. It sounds to me like your faith is surface level and you're there to find submissive virgins to marry because you are so insecure that you can't handle the thought of a woman having had another sexual partner other than yourself without melting down. Don't do this, it's creepy.

Also move out of your parent's house already or crying out loud. All that time paying off a nice German car could've been put into getting a place for yourself. If cost is an issue find some good men to share rent or something like that.

DanielFromCucked · 2021-10-04T16:58:15+00:00

What are you fucking 9? Grow up

TheSunshineMan · 2021-10-05T02:48:32+00:00

Why haven't you had sex yet?

Philosophipster · 2021-10-05T03:46:09+00:00

Well dealbreaker for me is: Her lying about having sex after getting married - pretending to care. She playing you like a fiddle. Even if she was a HB 6/10, banging 4 guys is something women do the first year they have sex. No way did she make it to late 20s as a virgin (sorry, that bit made me laugh so hard).

Like the top post said: accept the world as it is, it’s all about expectation management. You expected something impossible/improbable, and got disappointed. Holds for every facet in life, especially hot women.

Herdsengineers · 2021-10-05T04:30:43+00:00

Umm, echoing all the guys that are calling you out for your own naivity and explaining that she's trying to hook you into marriage while not being totally honest about her history.

But I think there's something being missed here - she asked about you having sex so she could sheepishly say "me too" so she could bring up sex without feeling like a slut. She's thinking about it with you. She's also ASDing, so she's trying to maneuver so she ends up on the business end of your cock much sooner than marriage but can still say, and have you believe, that oops, it just happened, but she's still not really a slut.

Here's the thing- if you marry, among the many other things you want to vet beforehand, you also want a chick that wants to be a slut just for you. A total cum gargling, BJ champ, bend her over in a public parking deck personal living, breathing, walking sex doll, just for you. So don't be afraid of her history. A girl that genuinely likes sex is better than one that's only using it to hook you, and will then restrict it later...to keep you chasing it while she turns the marriage into a transactional affair of you do this or that, and you get obligatory sex after jumping through enough periodic hoops.

So...I think she's trying to say jump her but make sure you give her plausible deniability of a form that doesn't trigger her ASD. And you're too thick to see through her subterfuge, stuck on feeling betrayed because you're unicorn is turning out to be a cute, but normal girl, not the disney princess you built her up to be in your mind.

RevolutionaryFilm995 · 2021-10-05T05:19:21+00:00

Bro have you just ignored the side bar? Marriage? No sex? German car?

Your setting your self up to a beta bucks relationship. The "church" girls always the most broken liars I've seen. Multiple prostitute turn into church girls in their 25s and claim to be Jesus "servant" since they where 10.

End-Regular · 2021-10-05T05:29:01+00:00

A body count of anything less than 10 is very low for a good looking woman, specially in her late 20s. Lol I think you are over reacting. Just have an honest talk with her ask her why should you guys wait till marriage.

Wide-Illustrator2906 · 2021-10-05T05:43:26+00:00

First of all, great work on improving yourself. Every day you improve is a day you can call yourself a winner at the game of life. Never stop improving. As for your relationship issues, I'm gonna be brutally honest with you. There is no such thing as a sub 22 virgin, especially here in the west. This society just doesn't create girls like that anymore. When she told you she was in her mid to late twenties you should have realized that she has been riding the cc for years and is now looking for a Christian beta bucks provider. She's at her epiphany stage. Your best bet is to break up with her before you fall deeper in love with her and agree to be her beta bucks husband where you will live a life of misery and regret. Also, the feelings of disgust you felt when she told you about the guys she fucked were normal, no man who respects and values himself would be okay with the woman he saw as a potential wife being fucked by another man, let alone 4 guys(its actually more) fukking her without even having to date her. Ghosting her was the right move, you don't owe her anything. Who you do owe is yourself, by that I mean you owe it to yourself the get the best woman out there as your wife and to never settle. I wish you the best.

TryQuality · 2021-10-05T08:00:31+00:00

You're trying to fit a square figurine in a triangle shape.

Monogamous LTR relationships aren't natural. It's a bluepill fantasy.

Imagine trying vetting a friend to see if you can be "Long Term Friends" and build a life together - no matter how good you guys are right now, you still have only half the control and life will happen. You can enjoy a long term relationship if you wish, but remember to not take it too seriously.

Accept things for what they are instead of trying to use the Red Pill to fulfill your blue-pill fantasies. It doesn't work.

wrypity · 2021-10-04T18:03:11+00:00

"Abandon hope all ye who enter,"

Title	Massive potential deal-breaker with prospective LTR
Author	DimSix20
Upvotes	8
Comments	67
Date	October 4, 2021 1:39 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/TheRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/q15mzh/massive_potential_dealbreaker_with_prospective_ltr/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/TheRedPill/massive-potential-deal-breaker-with-prospective.1077589 https://theredarchive.com/post/1077589

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