Putting the Kids First is a Recipe For Disaster. Never do it.1

Note: For anyone who thinks I “hate kids”, or I don’t want you to have kids, please read the first footnote before complaining. Then don't complain.

So either you fell for the baby trap, or you think you found your Disney Girl, and you are, or are about to become a dad.

Congrats. I hope everything goes well.

Spoiler Alert: It probably won’t.

There’s going to be a lot of pressure to start mouthing the mantra: "THE KIDS ALWAYS COME FIRST!!!"

I have seen this 1000x. It is the bluepill propaganda of baby-worshipping diaper-sniffers. It's designed to be an unassailable excuse so that dad and the marriage can be put last or neglected altogether. It is the natural evolution of the "Woman > Man" philosophy of Toxic Feminism: Kids > Woman (but not really, it’s just the lie they tell) > Man.

It also leads to overweight, stressed-out moms who also neglect themselves because, "Hail, baby!"

"Putting the kids first" leads to what the Romans called "Deadicus Bedroomicus" and the "We just grew apart" divorce. She’s not going to want to fuck because she’s stressed out and fat, and you’re not going to want to fuck her because she’s stressed out and FAT. But you had better come running when she snaps her fingers. You will be keeping your end of the bargain (read: $$$) but that dewy, lissome, comely lass? Everything on her is going to look “wilted” and she’s going to be a moody bitch. This is, incidentally, why I Nail Young Tail. They are younger, hotter, tighter – and therefore better – they believe everything I tell them (no worries, I am a benevolent dictator), and they are NEVER “too tired” for fun.

Oh, and the kids who always “came first”? They turn into entitled little shitheads. It’s a problem.

How, then, to avoid this bullshit?

Well first, you can go MGTOW (“Men Going Their Own Way”, or as I like to say “Men Guarding Their Own Wallets”.) I’m agnostic on kids, and I like women, I enjoy their company, and I like keeping all my income and property when I break-up with them. I have no problem getting women and usually have a roster of 4-6.

In my view, marriage is a sucker’s bet: 53% end in divorce and of the 47% that don’t, how many are happy? How many are “mostly ok”? How many are medium sucky to awful? Loads. Lots of guys wind up getting married to their One Special Girl only to wind up paying their demonic ex-wife up to 40% of their gross to bang other guys and teach their kids to hate him. No, thanks.

I may change my mind, but it’s just not likely. If I said to you, “Hey, let’s go skydiving tomorrow, and don’t worry, nearly half of the parachutes open.”2 Would you go? No, you would tell me “Fuck you! Good luck with that shit, crazy guy!”

And you’d be right.

So What If You Get Married Anyway?

If you do get married, cohabitate in an LTR you need to understand that:

(a) You never stop gaming her. You Never Stop Competing

(b) Don’t be one of those moron betas who thinks he’s “won” and let’s himself go, gets fat, self-medicates with SportsBall and beer and never sees the divorce-rape coming.

If you do want a family, you need to Become the Prize. And just being a good provider isn’t enough. I had cocktails with two married guys yesterday. One complained about how he has to "hide" money from his wife. During quarantine, she basically averages a box from Amazon every day; he bought something online and she was all up in his face about spending money. He has his own business so he takes out $1500-2000 a month that she "doesn't know about," so he can have some $ to do what he wants with.

Think that over. This is a millionaire businessman who has to hide money from his wife so he can spend a couple of grand each month without getting bitched at.

The other guy and his wife seem to get along pretty wll, but he kvetches all the time, too. He used to be a baller, but now he’s in his 50s, and he’s only “allowed” to bang his 50 y.o. wife’s 50 y.o. pussy.

This reminds me of the punchline of an old joke.

Q: “Why do husbands die before their wives?”

A: “They want to.”

Of the three of us, guess who gets to do whatever he wants, hassle-free? I bet you can name that tune in One Note.

So, how to pull it off?

You Need To Be The Paterfamilias

You need to PATRIARCHY THE FUCK out of your situation: The husband/father should be at the center of the family, around whom the wife and children revolve and upon whom he shines like the sun, and brings warmth and sustenance. There is a reason it's called "Head of Household", and not "Neglected serf who toils thanklessly, gets once-a-month pity sex from his land whale wife and then is divorced-raped."

Your frame need to be way stronger than her frame. You also need to settle on traditional sex roles early on – wait, don’t want to be the full-time provider? But that’s what you signed up for, Mac. You can look forward to working 400 more hours (10x40 hour weeks or 2,5 months) than your single counterparts.3

It’s not going to be easy. You can forget about getting a “Slavic Unicorn” from the East or an “Asian Unicorn” from the Far East. You can try it, but you’re just going to have a different set of problems.

For guys who are iffy about marriage but want to have kids, here is Blackdragon’s (who I am not, but who I read from time to time) had a guide for this very thing: The 12 Steps To Safely Have Kids With A Woman. I am skeptical as fuck about it, but it’s a piece of information for guys who want kids.

So I wish you luck if you want to walk that pat, Mac. You’re going to need it.

1 Note: Lots of TRP OreosTM – red on the outside, blue on the inside – come at me over “hating kids”. I am not anti-kid. I am particularly fond of other people’s 22 year old daughters. Go have 100 kids. It’s up to you. But you have to understand that not every kid turns out. You know how we say “There are no unicorns,” about girls? There are no “Unicorn children” either. Some people’s kids really suck. Some are assholes. Some are retarded n’shit. Everyone in prison was someone’s kid once. Sure, some kids are great, but everyone knows that and thinks their kids will automatically be that way. You have to understand what you’re getting into.

2 Hat Tip: Bill Burr

3 Watch out for the “He was never around. He worked too much” divorce.