I've heard it said that people who constantly put others down are in some way insecure, or that this indicates low self-esteem, or limited confidence. Don't take my word for it, read it for yourselves.

And, in truth, this is probably true. Projection and aggression are defense mechanisms, after all. Put-downs are so distasteful that they even discolor negging, a sometimes effective strategy, by mere association.

But there is a right way to offer put-downs;

you're just not doing it right.

I was talking to /u/Abresyes about put-downs - how to do it correctly - and decided this topic could merit its own thread. So here's what I worked up for him.

An insult is essentially an unfavorable argument about another person. For a "put-down" to be effective (i.e., persuasive), requires:

  • that your insult have some basis in fact (e.g. calling ugly people ugly, dumb people dumb, etc.). An insult that is unfounded won't stick; it makes you look imperceptive.

  • that your insult be unique. Calling people "lame," or "weird," or "uncool," or whatever is unspecific and unmemorable. It demonstrates that you haven't thought your "argument" through. Get creative.

  • that your insult have some goal or larger aim. Use it for humor, or conversation, or didaction. Being cruel for cruelty's sake is unbecoming of anyone.

  • that your insult is your insult. You said it; own up to it like you would any opinion worth having. This means being unapologetic and unashamed.

Consider these before offering "put-downs" and your "arguments" will be more persuasive. Like country music, or dubstep, it's embarrassingly easy to do, but hard to do well. Insult is an art that few have mastered. Let's look at some examples.

How to do it wrong:

"Karen is always a douchebag. Every group has a 'Karen' and she is always a bag of douche. And when she's not around you just look at each other and go, 'God, Karen, she's such a douchebag,' until she walks up, and then you're like, 'Hey what's up Karen?' There's always that one person who's like, 'I disagree.' Well you're the person. You're the person nobody likes." -Dane Cook

This vignette really is just an insecure put-down. Decidedly safe? Check. Ambiguous? Check. Unoriginal? Check. Feeble? Checkaroo. Situational comedy is garbage. It's not interesting, or funny, or useful. There's no truth in this art.

Here's how to do it right:

"I was in Nashville last weekend, and after the show I went to a Waffle House, and I'm sitting there, and I'm eating, and I'm readin' a book. I don't know anybody, I'm alone, I'm eating, and I'm readin' a book. This waitress comes over to me (mimes chewing gum), 'What you readin' for?' Wow. I've never been asked that. Not, 'What am I reading,' but, 'What am I reading for?' Well goddamnit, ya stumped me. I guess I read for a lot of reasons — the main one is so I don't end up being a fuckin' Waffle Waitress." -Bill Hicks

Hotter than coffee and colder than cream. Fits right into Hicks' larger theme of anti-intellectualism. Plays with the situation without being about the situation. It's distinctive and ballsy. It's exactly what a put-down needs to be - when you put someone the fuck down.

Put-downs can be an effective tool for your arsenal, provided you keep frame and don't half-ass it.

Thoughts?