Remind yourself during the date you have nothing to lose. Try, try, try and see what happens.

sleepyweaselisawake · 2017-12-11T12:31:39+00:00

Outcome Independence, that's the phrase you're looking for. It has worked for me on every date and approach I've made since I started on this path.

redpillbanana · 2017-12-11T15:59:21+00:00

Assume she's showed up because she's looking to get laid. Proceed on this assumption and you'll often make the right moves.

bobbobbitybob · 2017-12-11T20:00:28+00:00

This is why monk mode is so fucking valuable.

Take the time to satisfy your own needs emotionally before interacting with women.

For me, this was the only way to actually acquire abundance mentality.

She means nothing to my emotional happiness because I've already filled that tank myself.

Pussy isn't the real reason for outcome dependent behaviour, emotional validation is. Remember that.

There is a huge difference between going on a date with no emotional needs, but wanting to fuck than there is going on a date with emotional needs even if you're pussy abundant.

Emotional dependence is the killer. It is this need that changes your behaviour and that behaviour is what is unattractive.

CrazyHorseInvincible · 2017-12-14T09:15:55+00:00

Today's butthurt SJW:

user reports:
1: Just fuck eachother and stop trying to beat around the bush you idiot incels.

kobra_trp · 2017-12-11T15:47:43+00:00

I guess the best thing to remember during dates and anything is if this doesn't work out, there's another person and another chance. You will never run out of chances for dates

kaane · 2017-12-11T16:59:53+00:00

While this is not new around here, I like your enthusiasm, and I like how you find this by experience. Congrats, this idea will stick with you forever, because you earned it. We can discuss the why’s and how’s for hours but you already got the idea.

You can apply this to any other area in your life.

This post reminded me of a great scene from the series Band of Brothers. There is this great -soon to be a captain- lt. He talks to a private, and when the private says he is scared, he gives an epic answer. Watch this clip till the end, you will see that he is talking about the same thing that you just described.

click

xtsv · 2017-12-11T12:43:58+00:00

Problem is, I get extremely anxious when a woman looks at me, nevermind a date.

XxNerdKillerxX · 2017-12-11T13:50:46+00:00

as soon as you get emotionally attached to the particular outcome (either career wise/dating wise), you are already mentally blocking yourself.

This is just so true. And after hours of introspection in my life, I noticed this pattern heavily with my success with women (seeking their validation, being attached to the outcome).

I can be rather witty, funny and concise fast (good timing). I noticed I switched from being needy with one girl, to taking a break from her. After I got over her emotionally, I was hooking up with her again. I was back to my self when with her again. Funny, confident, flirting, speaking deeply, not being needy. But when I needed her, I noticed my voice (which is quite deep) was really annoying sounding, and I would talk too much rhetoric and try to qualify myself with words and not emotions/actions. And of course, she was seeing me less and less (needy/outcome dependent guy is low priority in her sex life for sure, doesn't not get pussy wet at all).

CaiusBard · 2017-12-12T05:53:31+00:00

Good advice.

To tack on, I'm going to assume that everybody here is past Step 1 which is not being a clingy nu-male. (outcome independence)

After that, I just have a few strategies. Game is all about making them comfortable by not making your intentions clear. Keep the conversation interesting (takes practice, of course). For the first 20-30 minutes, you want to give off the most carefree persona imaginable. Like you will literally not give one iota if she walks up and leaves any minute because your life is so awesome and you're content as is.

After this time, that's when I start looking for the IOI's. They're usually pretty obvious. Then you can start playfully teasing and moving into the sexual advances. If you want to take her home, and you're still not sure she's comfortable, just tell her you have to get up and do work in the morning so she can't stay for long. Again, all about making her relaxed.

Heck, just yesterday I had a spur of the moment date with a girl I met at a local meetup. I went in to the group and just talked to most of the guys first. I practically ignored her completely until the end. Then, we started talking for 10 minutes or so, and once I knew she was interested, I just blurted out "Hey, I would love to keep talking about this stuff, but I'm starving. Care to join me for lunch?"

Again, mask the intentions, fellas.

banjew · 2017-12-11T16:29:08+00:00

This may be a extreme case but wanted to share nevertheless: Word of warning: I escalated like crazy with this girl, trying to kiss her (nothing too violent, just getting close to her lips, etc.) didn't worked, got LMR I got tired and abandoned, also I was beta as fuck at that time. Took her to her home. After some weeks we had a fight and I never saw her again.

Fast forward she's calling me a rapist for trying to kiss her. Jokingly at first, then her friends start calling me that (she told them, of course), this time not so jokingly.

So, beware. Never date crazy chicks. In retrospective, I didn't know she was that crazy.

johnson89893 · 2017-12-11T23:35:19+00:00

Fear of failure is #1 on my list of effective concepts to be mindful of. As soon as I start to fear failure, I start to fail. It encapsulates the bluepill mindset. It makes you second guess, makes you directionless and people smell the fear a mile away.

throwinghthisoneaway · 2017-12-11T17:36:49+00:00

I want more of what this looks like in everyday life. With or without women.

hb8only · 2017-12-11T13:37:13+00:00

..you have already fucked her.. she is already yours...

tremendousfaggot · 2017-12-12T00:20:56+00:00

Can you explain more about eye contact olease

LewdRudeJude · 2017-12-12T04:26:03+00:00

No matter how good your game is, how good you look and how high SMV you have - as soon as you get emotionally attached to the particular outcome (either career wise/dating wise), you are already mentally blocking yourself. Practice awareness, be present in the moment and find joy in every single second of it. This opens all the profits of abundance and keeps your mind opened to any potential outcome.

I love this. Honestly brother, that might be the most valuable lesson of your life - I know it is for me.

And yeah, it applies to everything. If there was a law of our universe that would be it.

superturbolazerbadas · 2017-12-12T05:34:53+00:00

I got rejected by this girl at the end of last school year, she’s talking to me now and this nothing to lose mentality is working well. Talking to her without being a huge flirt and just being me is helping a lot also.

Tzzzx · 2017-12-12T11:50:43+00:00

You are just being less needy then she is, read models by mark manson

cafeitalia · 2017-12-11T14:04:13+00:00

Dgaf attitude is about not giving a fuck about the date as well. Why overthink this stuff? I should do this or not do that in a date, before or after etc. Pussy is not important. Man himself is the only thing that is important. In a date don't give a fuck about anything. That is it. If you think of what you will do etc you value her more than yourself. All the pick up advice people give are total sissy advice.

Lustful_Priest · 2017-12-11T18:32:44+00:00

This is a dangerous mentality in this day and age where a single cry of ‘sexual harassment’ can get a man taken away in cuffs. Whether or not the ‘harassment’ ever actually took place.

DrankOfSmell · 2017-12-12T00:40:23+00:00

This is known as mindfulness

bobbobbitybob · 2017-12-12T04:19:51+00:00

[permanently deleted]

hahayeahthatscool · 2017-12-12T05:10:17+00:00

I wish I could just turn on outcome independence like that. Yeah I get emotional and I know that's bad but how do I get out of my own head like you did op, and just relax? I guess practice and repetition is the only answer, but God how long does it take till you're comfortable in at least most interactions? I swear if I'm ever talking to an even slightly attractive girl and even if we have really good energy, I can't help my brain from thinking "ACT COOL" which completely fucks me up. Even though the logical part of my brain is entirely aware that there are plenty of fish in the sea and that I should just chill out, I still end up cock blocking myself. Weird.

Luckylancer96 · 2017-12-12T05:26:12+00:00

Conclusions of single events are irrevelant. It may be luck. Try it several times then post.

Chaddeus_Rex · 2017-12-12T21:03:13+00:00

Hey, /u/bobbobbitybob can you explain how you detach yourself emotionally. I have trouble with that and always end up attached to the outcome of a date. What do I focus on, trying to suppress desires? Taking deep breaths? Positive self-talk? Something else?

Arty777 · 2017-12-13T06:12:12+00:00

It's always best to act like you have nothing to lose. It's much better though if you ACTUALLY have nothing to lose because you have an abundance of options. For 99% of us men, women are better at sniffing this shit out than we are at pretending. It's just a fact. They are evolved for it. Evolution is an arms race, and this is the niche that the human female has carved out.

So if you are in a dry spell, just starting your red pill journey, or not on top of your game for whatever reason, act like you DGAF to your heart's content. But know that no amount of acting can ever beat actually having an abundance to choose from.

Eclectiqque · 2017-12-14T00:45:57+00:00

so what do you emotionally attach yourself to? nothing, cuz you're a hardcore alpha male? family and your dog and nothing else?

cl3537 · 2017-12-11T19:16:15+00:00

Data points 2, conclusion = very inconclusive.

Did you stop to think for a second, second girl was into you and down to fuck and the first one wasn't? (ignore what she said that is just hamstring, women lie and she has probably done it before many times)

You guys give the impression that you act a certain way and magically she ends up at your place. Hold on a sec, they are women but they have their own minds, desires, and the place they are in in their life.

Having game allows you to capitalize on girls in the right mindset and quickly get away from the ones that aren't, it doesn't get you into the pants of those who weren't attracted to you from the beginning. If you draw the conclusion that everytime a girl doesn't sleep with you on the first date that somehow your game is flawed you are more diluted than the people you are trying to teach.

Yes if you push for a bang on every date you will get bangs from a certain type of women, in most cases it will be a very short relationship. On balance if you push and are good at reading women (as in you know when to back off and retry a few minutes later) this could be the optimal way of handling younger women, it may scare off real serious prospects but on balance its better than being too timid.

RedPill_Swinger · 2017-12-11T15:14:26+00:00

You ain't nothing to lose except money and time the two most important commodities

Calgate · 2017-12-12T01:58:15+00:00

Dates... dates???? Im done with this shitty sub reddit which is full of thirsty cucks and not self improvements and other mgtow concepts. But no you need to talk about dates out of everything.

Title	Remind yourself during the date you have nothing to lose. Try, try, try and see what happens.
Author	bobbobbitybob
Upvotes	781
Comments	117
Date	December 11, 2017 12:00 PM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/TheRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/7j1rgj/remind_yourself_during_the_date_you_have_nothing/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/TheRedPill/remind-yourself-during-the-date-you-have-nothing.47689 https://theredarchive.com/post/47689

Comments