The Red Pill made me realize that I'm not even a Beta, but an Omega...

Whisper · 2014-01-28T20:43:17+00:00

Okay, I'm going to lead off with something I say here very often.

Most betas aren't weak, what they are is decent and misled.

You were told, and taught, from a very young age, to act a certain way, told it would get you what you wanted, or what you "should" want. Whatever. Turns out it didn't work. Well, your only mistake here is being gullible. When you were, like... 8.

Yes, you're supposed to be masculine. But were supposed to have a father to tell you this would be expected of you, and to teach you how to do it.

You didn't. Either he wasn't there, or he taught you nothing, or he taught you the wrong things, or he didn't protect you from other sources of really bad advice.

So, yeah, you still have a problem. Plenty of things can be your problem even if they aren't your fault. But stop kicking yourself. The world will kick you hard enough. Your job is not to help it do so, but to kick back.

nninja · 2014-01-28T18:21:57+00:00

I'll let he veterans here handle most of this. One thing I will say, obviously work out to get bigger, BUT lanky guys have an advantage in boxing. Not just because of reach, but they hit hard because of the leverage you get. Ask any coach, they know lanky guys can be very dangerous. Go join a boxing gym, expect to get your ass kicked...a lot, but your balls will start to grow and eventually you'll start dishing out some beatings too.

trudatness · 2014-01-28T20:16:51+00:00

Since you really don't have a social life, don't sweat having one right now. Work on self improvement.

I know this sounds weird, but learn to cook. Do something like learning a culinary skill. Do it so you can begin to cook for yourself. Not just ramen noodles, but learn how to properly prepare foods. It's an important life skill - and it will increase your quality of life. If not that then focus on developing another life skill you will need.

Get a job. Right now you are focusing on school - keep doing that - but if you can get a job, you'll force yourself into social interaction with others. Even if it's as a busboy or dishwasher - or something menial. This way when you graduate school - you won't be looking for your first job. Getting this kind of work experience will be good for when you get your career opportunity.

Oh like everyone else has said HIT THE GYM. Get a gym membership and go work out 4-5 times a week. Building your physical strength will also serve to build your self confidence.

Your main problem is cowardice. Don't be afraid of life. You need to go out and start experiencing life. You need to challenge yourself. Start being active. Get out of the house and do things.

I wouldn't worry about girls just yet. Worry about you - have some pride in yourself.

ajhimmler · 2014-01-28T18:28:45+00:00

You have a huge advantage because you woke up! And its okay, we've all felt awkward and lonely at certain times.

1) Go to school and get that math/engineering degree and make boat loads of money.

2) Start eating loads of food and go lift! Study this if you don't know anything about it.

3) Make lots of money, get bigger, adjust your body language and I bet the speech will fall in place.

4) Fuck lots of girls.

dsav2 · 2014-01-28T18:58:17+00:00

Start hitting the gym. You will relieve all your pent up angst, and you'll have an outlet for your stress. You'll feel better in no time.

As someone with a very nerdy major (Computer Science), I'd advise you to take a few female dominated classes (such as psychology) and to hit on the girls there. Use it to practice your social skills.

If you haven't done it already, take a speech class. It will get you out of your comfort zone, and it'll give you the confidence to express yourself in front of a large group.

stuckey3 · 2014-01-28T19:26:49+00:00

do you suffer from hollow leg syndrome? I'm 5'9 at 180lb of mostly fat

for me, I was always intimidated by females until I started interacting more frequently with them. I noticed they have very little to offer socially so I started to give less a shit about them and saw them as a lower tier of people. That's not saying all women are lower value than men but if they have zero personality but only ego, I simply dont waste my breath.

you probably have a lot to offer in a friendship or relationship. Identify those strengths and start perceiving yourself as a high valued person.

littletinysmalls · 2014-01-28T21:54:38+00:00

reading through the comments, there doesn't seem to be a lot of female advice (understandably), but i'll give you my take anyway as a RPW

the number one thing here that is going to help you is to get yourself involved in activities where you can meet likeminded people with similar interests. this is by far the easiest way to make friends as an adult

as you become more comfortable talking to people, try to force yourself out of your comfort zone and approach people/make conversation even if you normally would not have done this .. socializing doesn't come naturally to everyone, but the more you actually do it, the more familiar it will be to you, and the less intimidating it will seem. the more you avoid it, the more it becomes this huge obstacle in your head that you can't overcome. as a lower-alpha female who has spent a LOT of time surrounded by omegas (was forced by my parents to enter a gifted program at a "special" school.. so you can imagine the kinds of kids that went there) i can tell you that it means a lot when these omega guys have confidence, since most of them do not. it makes you stand out and defies most women's expectations of you. hone your conversational skills, and DO NOT BEAT YOURSELF UP IF THE INTERACTION DOESN'T GO WELL. i get it, rejection fucking sucks, but you have to remember that the more women you talk to, the higher chance you have of getting at least one girls attention.

the strategy i would suggest to you (after working on the various issues youve outlined) is to try and become friends with a smart beta or alpha woman (dismiss the idea that you will ever become romantically involved with this woman, you will only ever be her friend, sorry if that's harsh i'm just trying to be completely honest). then find a lower beta who's her friend and game the shit out of her, you'll automatically have more credibility because of your connection with the hotter friend.

intelligence and the potential to be powerful/rich are definitely valuable, don't discount yourself and work on what you do have. good luck with everything man.

2014-01-28T18:39:09+00:00

See a shrink if you have the resources. Ain't no shame in doing so. Most Universities (at least in the U.S) give students a couple sessions free as part of their tuition. Game will only form as a veneer upon bad inner game, and women can spot it from a mile away. I'm not saying to not approach women, but do work on your inner game and getting your head straight. It gets better.

2014-01-28T19:07:29+00:00

at least you're realizing this now at 19 yrs old, plenty of time to turn that shit around. Hit the gym, join some 'volunteer' programs or something that forces you to socialize with people; find something to do that you actually enjoy that doesn't encourage anti-social behavior

JP_Whoregan · 2014-01-28T20:46:04+00:00

I think alot of the "go to the gym" advice around here gets somewhat mis-construed. Fitness, tone, and muscle mass are fantastic benefits, but they're ancillary benefits.

The primary benefit we reap from lifting weights, working out, etc, is the establishment of GOALS, on a primal level commensurate with the elevation of testosterone levels. Able to rip off 30 push ups today? Do 32 tomorrow. And 35 by next week, etc, etc. Before you know it, you're a beast with fantastic physical stamina, and it creates almost a male hormonal high that will, by default, assist you in other areas of life. I sell insurance for a living, and getting back into my gym routine, I've found it has even helped in my confidence when speaking to addressing clients and closing policies. I go into a meeting so much more confident in my sales ability, I assume I've closed the deal before even walking in. I basically do a job where I convince people to buy and pay for insurance policies they'll probably never need or use, so I figure if I can get better at that, then game should be no problem.

nninja · 2014-01-28T20:19:38+00:00

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ThePacketSlinger · 2014-01-28T19:34:03+00:00

Most people here are/will tell you to hit the gym, work on your body language and approach women. All pretty solid advice, generally speaking. While you should probably do all of those, to me, it looks like your biggest problem is communication and socializing. I would make fixing that your primary focus.

SonofLelith · 2014-01-28T22:19:30+00:00

Do not. I repeat, DO NOT swap your high gpa with muscles and easy status change now. That shit comes and goes so fast. Your wake up along with futher focus on school will land you in a job that will get you much more cash and girls than if you were to lose this focus.

When it comes to social skills, some people are late bloomers. Very few of the cool guys, in their teens, are able to keep it up for more than a few years. Being smart and aware will get you much further than a rash reaction to newfound insight.

Manuel_S · 2014-01-28T20:41:44+00:00

Dude, you see it. Now you can deal with it.

Eat proper and exercise, improve yourself and realize that the path of life is paved with money - that you can earn.

Don't marry, dont preg some slut.

Recognize your value before yourself.

Get into something that gets you into sales, even if its a fucking counter at some fucking shop. That'll get you communicating and bullshitting.

Everything else you can sort out.

nerdyfitnessguy · 2014-01-28T21:08:23+00:00

Sounds like you just need some hobbies & interaction to break up the monotony of the daily grind. It takes effort. Try some new things like buying a gun, skydiving, hell...a bowling league. Exercising and eating right has already been beaten to death. Do it and you'll be ahead of 50% of the male population.

By the way, the grind never stops. College is complete fucking easymode compared to "real life." Enjoy every minute of it.

limbooo · 2014-01-28T21:12:42+00:00

Its more about just hitting the gym! Working out and being active is a lifestyle. Finding a hobby within this realm is benificial because it will never seem like a chore. For example you can find a sport you enjoy playing. I personally play a lot of basketball , and I learned to swim and hit the pool when I can. Also biking and running. The more diverse routine you have the more results you'll see. Its important to eat more and pick a routine that works for you. But this won't alone won't help with what you're dealing with. I know for me its helped me get into many social situations but at the end of the day I would usually end up alone. And that's because of my negative self imagine and fear mixed with just not knowing how to act with women. Its great that you're doing good in college. But life is much more than just college. I went to a big state school and got really bad depression which lead me to fail and had to withdraw. I'm still dealing with it and recently discovered theredpill myself. You have a lot of time to make things a lot better than they are now. Keep working on yourself. Get more active. And whatever you do just try to enjoy yourself more. I'm not usually the one to give advice because I am in a similar situation to yours. But I awknowledge the fact that I do have friends that are great. And I've even hooked up with women. Although I haven't had sex yet.

ButterMyBiscuit · 2014-01-28T21:38:56+00:00

Actuary is a good, stable, high paying career. There is no downside aside from the fact that your peers will be generally nerdy. Playing an instrument is good, even if you're not great at it. Being skinny is better than being fat. You're starting from a much better place than most people. Most young people have no prospects in addition to being awkward and fat and untalented. Read other people's advice in the thread in terms of improvement, I just wanted to say to try and be positive.

Being positive and not bitter is a good first step on its own. People are generally fine hanging out with a nice and generally happy awkward person, but who the hell wants to be around a bitter awkward person? You'll get no friends that way. Also, you sound like you might be depressed. See if your college has free counseling. I suffered through depression in college, saw a shrink, got a prescription for antidepressants, and it really changed my life for the better.

st4rcrafty · 2014-01-28T21:55:02+00:00

Dude, let me tell you that you already have a HUGE leg up on most other kids that come here looking for advice. Did you see that other pathetic faggot the other day who posted saying how depressed he is, and how he wants to find a unicorn? That kid's a faggot. you're not. You have the right attitude. You may lack skill, but your head is in the right place, so will time spent honing your skills, you will get there.

I know it seems like you don't have much confidence in anything....but trust me there is something you're good at. Maybe you just haven't found it yet. So take this time to experiment. Don't focus on women (i didn't get the impression that you are, which is a good thing) because it won't get you anywhere to just skip to the approaching women phase and get shot down...it will only batter your confidence more. But you see, that is the difference between you and that other kid! You'r realistic!

roue_ · 2014-01-28T22:16:26+00:00

You've woken up that is all that matters. You have to work on your social skills but first you have to work on your looks. Some people dress in ways that makes them less approachable. Wear jeans that fit, get some nice shoes, get a haircut every 4 weeks (get one now), drink 2.5 litres if water a day (makes my skin glow). After this, join some clubs. What do you like? Are you good at any sports? What about debate society. E.t.c Go out and meet people. We are all people.

6TLaRm4g · 2014-01-28T23:39:06+00:00

You are in much much better position than I am. I have basically same as your situation, except very small/weak part, but I found this out 5 years later than you. On the other hand, there are people who find this out at 30+ or even later, so you are way ahead of most.

redpill_ta · 2014-01-28T23:46:40+00:00

Listen to the other guys here, but I have an extra suggestion:

Some of what you talk about sounds like depression. But even it it's not that exactly this will still help: Find a therapist, but not just any therapist, an older (late 40s, 50s) MALE therapist that has worked with people your age before. A lot of the things people tell you here are the right things to do, but having some one to support you through (and help with the basic social skills) it will speed your "recovery" and your gain of SMV.

Side note: Being 5'10" and 138 make you heavier, taller and with a comparable BMI. But that does not have to have anything to do with your SMV. If your dominant enough you don't have to fight people ... other people will fight them for you. Getting beefed up helps - a lot - but as long as you are not too ugly or too small, that can be overcome with confidence and a good frame.

sway_usa · 2014-01-29T00:04:07+00:00

Martial arts. Muay Thai or Brazilian Jiu Jitsu. Best advice I can give.

Other than that, you've come to the right place. Just keep poking around roosh, heartiste and some of the other bloggers for advice. Grab a social dynamics book (probably doesn't matter much which one), and get thee to a gym. Eat like a pig, but on the right foods. Practice. Flirt with everything that moves, even just for fun. Grocery store checkout girls, girls at the clothing store, in line at the movie theater, whatever. Nike nailed one thing - just do it.

2014-01-29T00:37:26+00:00

If you're 135 pounds and weak as fuck then lift heavy objects until you weigh more and are stronger. You remind me of myself before I found the red pill. I always considered myself intellectually elite, but I eventually had to confront the question: If I'm so smart, why isn't my life situation better?

Is being weak a problem for you? Develop a strategy for moving towards being strong. Is being socially inept a problem for you? Develop a strategy for moving towards being socially adept.

Once you abandon the victim mentality and realize that you're in full control of your life, you will be able to take steps towards the goals you want. THAT is where satisfaction will come from for you. Fear, insecurity, anxiety, self-doubt, they are all indicators that a change must be made and it can only be made by you.

Epicman93 · 2014-01-29T01:28:25+00:00

Hey man. You're not in a good situation it seems, but you can always do something about it! No hobbies? Go out and try new stuff like hunting, sports, cycling e.t.c until you find something you like. No friends? Step out of your comfort zone and just talk to someone. Start with small talk until you have built up the confidence to have long conversations and get friends/connections.

Fuck the people who give you a hard time! Start training, and strive to dress good, so your confidence builds up and you feel better about yourself. For if you show confidence, people are less likely to give you a hard time.

You also said that people around you seem to constantly be happy. That's not true. Everyone has something troubling them most of the time, so you are not alone.

Don't hate the world. The world is a fucking bitch at times, but that's just the way it is. You are the only person capable of turning your life around, no one else in the world can do that. So go out and meet people, do new things, do things you might cringe about later, anything really, because in the end you gain something good from every situation, both good ones and bad ones.

redpillbanana · 2014-01-29T08:32:05+00:00

On the fitness subreddit, one of the mods (phrakture) has put together a great workout program that is simple and effective: http://i.stack.imgur.com/OUcEY.png

blazingblue16 · 2014-01-28T23:02:02+00:00

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MasterHordorBaggins · 2014-01-28T19:02:14+00:00

Do all of the things below. But learn to correct the outside in the meantime. Stand and walk confidently, speak confidently look people in the eye. When they give you shit look em in the eye and tell them to cut it out.

I was always the little guy in most groups and this worked for me. Also the fact that I had the mentality that I will kill you if you fuck with me, came across in my demeanor. People can sense weakness. Stand tall. Mean what you say and don't take no shit. It's better to go down swinging than to punk out.

brotential · 2014-01-28T19:27:02+00:00

I'll second (or third) the "hit the gym" advice already given. Gaining strength boosts confidence and self-satisfaction immensely.

What worked for me was starting strength: http://startingstrength.wikia.com/wiki/Starting_Strength_Wiki

also taking creatine, and eating big (3000 calories/day or more, 180g protein or more). I got visible results in about 2 months.

As for social skills, avoid taking yourself too seriously, take small but consistent steps. Initiate a conversation with classmates (male if it helps), work up to doing that with a stranger, then a 6/10 girl classmate, and so on... It sometimes helps to emulate someone already good at this, Tucker Max (google him) seems to be very social (just watch out for his borderline sociopathic behavior), listen to the Joe Rogan podcast (pay attention to how good he is at talking to his guests and making them feel at ease)...

good luck ese

trpArtVandelay · 2014-01-28T21:09:42+00:00

Hey man, congrats on having the moral courage to come to that realization. A lot of people would rather bury themselves in delusion, and in that way you're clearly stronger than the average person because you're willing to deal with reality. Best of luck to you.

theprotestingmoose · 2014-01-28T22:11:06+00:00

I feel you man. I have two suggestions. If you watch porn, stop. Sign up for r/nofap and go clean. If it applies, your dopamine levels will normalize and you might feel less anxiety and more motivation.

Second: Consider dropping out. If you feel unwelcome at uni and it's causing a lot of social stress for you, it might be better to get a job for a while. Modern universities are often very abstract, loose and lack a way of mentoring you on your way into adulthood. You might be better of finding a practical job where you can hang out with some real men, learn their jargon and skills while they keep you accountable.

Then you can head back to uni if you like when you are mentally prepared and have had some experience in the real world. If you care about what your parents would think: screw that. They failed you by getting you this far without providing you the tools to socialize and interact with the world with ease.

2014-01-28T22:53:28+00:00

The only thing I'm good at is school(I have a 3.8 GPA and I'm a mathematics major/insurance minor), but even there, I screw up a lot.

Start by fixing your lack of self-confidence. You've already identified your weaknesses. Now recognize your strengths. A 3.8 GPA in math is nothing to scoff at. This route may eventually pay out depending on what you choose to do with it but won't elevate your standing in the immediate future.

A lot of people have said it already in one form or another: Join a gym and start lifting, join a boxing gym, take up MMA, etc...

The idea is to improve your outward appearance. Gaining an impressive physique is one of the best ways to do this and you don't need to look like some bodybuilder either. Gaining as little as 10-15 pounds of muscle can cause a tremendous difference. Being physically fit let's people know you are dedicated and goal oriented. You care about self-improvement and you are persistent. You care about your health. Remember to do this for yourself and not for anyone else.

I would recommend with going to an MMA gym or a boxing gym. You'll get good training and instruction plus the added bonus of fighting. Yes, you read that correctly. I called fighting a a good thing. It really does build character and self confidence. It builds courage. You'll find reserves of strength you never knew you had. Your first win will feel amazing. The longer the road to that moment in time the more satisfying the victory. You'll be a harder man. The bigger the crucible you put yourself through the more refined and hardened steel you'll become.

Once your self confidence starts to improve you'll find yourself doing things you only fantasized about.

capmtripps · 2014-01-28T23:33:28+00:00

I recommend psychedelic drugs

nninja · 2014-01-29T00:00:26+00:00

I'll add to the fighting thing. Imagine learning to be confident and calm in the ring (or octagon) while another guy is trying to knock your block off. Tell me after that how many situations in life are going to actually stress you out? It's scary to fight, fighting that fear will build tremendous character.

johnmars3 · 2014-01-29T02:11:09+00:00

If you do one thing then do this, it will turn your life around:

"GO TO THE GYM"

You will feel better about yourself, healthier and stronger. That confidence will show in the rest of your life.

WilliamGuns · 2014-01-29T02:25:03+00:00

I know that feel, bro...

slcjosh · 2014-01-29T04:15:29+00:00

Lift. Your. Ass. Off. Eat right. Find a hobby you really enjoy, photography, chess, long boarding, Who gives a shit. I always suggest photography because it gives an easy shot to photograph and meet lots of women easily, bitches love getting their photos done. Get into something, anything.

The more you lift, you will gain more confidence. Get stronger, and you sound kind of gangly, so id suggest getting into some jui jitsu or maui thai to learn to not only protect yourself viciously, (Nobody wants to fuck with a guy who knows how to strike with his bows and knees, or can choke you the fuck out) but also discipline and help you socially network.

Keep busting your ass in school, shit your course isnt too far from compsci, I would suggest leaning that way. The tech world is never going away, and I have a good buddy who is a recent grad, contracting software engineer work for python, java, and c++ and he is charging 85 dollars per hour for his services right out of college.

You have a long ass road ahead of you, but your asking for advice. That's a good step. Now get your ass in motion and go be whoever the fuck you want to be. Good luck homie. Updates on your progress would be cool.

vengefully_yours · 2014-01-29T05:41:24+00:00

You see everyone enjoying their life? Most are faking it, or appear to be having a great time. Not saying everyone has a shitty life, or that its all equally bad, but who gives a fuck what someone else has to do or deal with? All that matters to you is what you have to do, nobody else matters unless they are fucking with you.

I'm two inches shorter than you, and nobody in their right mind will fuck with me. I worked to get big, wrestled for five years, joined the military and got even bigger. Benched 265 in high school, then nearly doubled it from the demands of my military job. Add in the training and only drunks and over confident tall guys who have never been in a fight with someone who can throw them a beating.

If a fat kid that couldn't bench 90lbs when he was 14 can do it, you can do it too. Boxing works, and if you can pick up some wrestling, you can hurt people without hitting them, and really surprise a boxer and people who have no idea what you are about to do. Whatever you do, put everything in it because the more you strive the more confidence you will gain from it.

Only you can change your life, and yours is the only one that should matter to you.

selfishgene32 · 2014-01-29T05:49:01+00:00

It could be autism or asperger syndrome. If you fall under this, nothing can be done...MGTOW is the only

Hormander · 2014-01-29T07:57:17+00:00

1) start working out

2) stop fapping

3)????

4) PROFIT

LukeMooney · 2014-01-29T09:18:46+00:00

there's enough advice on here for you to get on with, I just wish you the best, and believe that you have the courage to go through with your endeavour. You can do it, this is your life, your movie, make it what you want it to be.

And please come back in 12 months with an update to let us all know how you are doing!!!

2014-01-29T11:54:56+00:00

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hownao · 2014-01-31T14:10:52+00:00

Probably Troll Percentage (PTP): 99%. Hilarious.

kratol · 2014-01-28T19:11:05+00:00

You probably have no belly and are starting from flat. Many of us are starting/started from fat and have to go through a long frustrating cutting phase before they can seriously get started on normal muscle development. Your already starting from an ideal starting point.

I was an introverted guy with no friends in university too and shit social skills. I literally never made a friend from university not counting my ex-GF. I started making a lot more friends although after I started working, because I regularly went to meetup.com style meetups. Improv, boardgames, etc. I moved to a new town too so I was FORCED to make new friends, I didn't have the crutch of socializing with my family. I have become incredibly more social and extroverted as a result and I've made a good circle of friends now.

Social skills are like a muscle, they need regular practice. I guarantee if you go to 3 or 4 social events a week during the evening, just with the goal of having fun and socializing, your social skills will improve greatly. All you have to do is talk to people. Start with silly things like 'where are you from?', 'hi, I'm joe', etc. Join school clubs, go to meetup.com style meetups in stuff your interested in. Just to illustrate how social skills are like a muscle, I slacked on the socializing for the past several months and I've noticed a decrease in social skills myself.

Also when choosing these groups, don't worry if it's a 'beta' activity or mostly guys, like board games. If you can connect with these people better because you come from there then that will make it more enjoyable for you and your social skills will still improve well. Make sure although you wont be mostly focused on the activity in that group and not socialize with each other. Also if you find the meetup group is very clique-ish and they don't engage with you, maybe try a more friendlier meetup. Although I would stick with a meetup at least 5 or 6 meetings, because some people take a while to warm up to you.

apotshot · 2014-01-29T07:45:43+00:00

Take a martial art where you actually spar. Trust me, there's plenty of smaller bros who will work with you!

74152963741593 · 2014-01-28T18:57:36+00:00

First of all, you need to take responsibility that this is all your fault. Don't be angry and bitter at the world, be it at yourself and use it as motivation. It only gets better if you make it get better.

autourbanbot · 2014-01-28T23:31:01+00:00

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notseriouslyserious · 2014-01-28T18:57:41+00:00

You posted this shit like what, 5 or 6 times now?

Title	The Red Pill made me realize that I'm not even a Beta, but an Omega...
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	82
Comments	170
Date	January 28, 2014 6:04 PM UTC (12 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/TheRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/1wdy1h/the_red_pill_made_me_realize_that_im_not_even_a/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/TheRedPill/the-red-pill-made-me-realize-that-im-not-even-a.10566 https://theredarchive.com/post/10566

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