I go through phases of thinking this - is it realistic that a man and wife can still be very sexually attracted to each other after years and years of being together, or are we fighting against a facet of human nature which dictates that men will always have the urge to go elsewhere and women will always look for a 'better' man?

In my case, we've been together since we were 18 and we are now mid-30s, with 3 kids. I was her first, and I myself had a very limited sexual past before her.

We're both roughly 8/10 for looks I would say, judging by the amount of attention we both get from others. Jealousy has been a pretty extreme problem at times but since finding mTRP it's no longer an issue for me.

My fear is that we get to the point that we resent each other for getting together so young and not being able to 'sow the seeds' like most people do in their youth. This could happen in 1 year, or in 10 years, who knows? Maybe it has already started. I get a lot of looks on the street from women, all different kinds of women and as Joey from Friends says, it sometimes feels like being Superman but without your ability to fly. This works both ways obviously.

The sex life is up and down. At the moment ok, but we've had long periods of maybe 1 or 2 times per MONTH, less at times. I put this down to my long line of pre-pill beta mistakes and a loss of attraction, but also because we're tired a lot with 3 kids - and being together for so long, the spark is not quite the same.

Since finding mTRP my beta ways have been slowly eradicated, but I do wonder if they can ever be forgotten by my wife. Real beta shit, stuff like jealousy, crying in front of her, constantly worrying about health, panic attacks in my 20s...

Why do I feel trapped?

  • I can't talk to her about this as it would signal the beginning of the end I think.

  • I don't want the marriage to end, mainly because the thought of my kids in a broken home and being up by another random guy makes me feel physically sick.

  • I can't act on any flirting from other girls. I don't even feel like I can practice, get numbers etc as in general girls see being hit on by married guys as incredibly creepy. There is also the very real risk of being caught out and being divorce raped.

  • Even if I wanted an affair, which I don't, logistics make it nigh on impossible and I don't feel I'd be able to live with the guilt.

  • her lack of attraction and the AWALT principle may see her finding some Chad soon, with or without my knowledge, but by that point I may be too old to go and plate other girls - I'm already on the cusp of being too old for bars and clubs.

Maybe this is just married life. I made my bed at a very young age and now I have to lie in it. Just wondering whether anyone else was in the same situation and feels like they are fighting against human nature in a long term monogamous relationship.

The grass is not greener on the other side, but at times it feels like it should be.