I feel like an idiot

Quarter_Century_Club · 2015-11-05T14:15:48+00:00

You're time is too valuable to play P. I. and try to unravel the mystery of whether she cheated. The trust has already evaporated, she's a habitual lier and frequently disrespects you. Cut her loose, spend all of your time, resources and energy becoming a better Man through the Red Pill.

UEMcGill · 2015-11-05T14:21:19+00:00

Before we even get to the cheating thing, let's look at the relationship. Does she add value to your life, or does she suck energy? Are you captain fix-a-ho, is she a broken woman? Was she hot so you tried to lock down the pussy? Why did you get in this LTR to begin with?

Single moms come with a lot of baggage, so why would you take all that on? You're not married, no kids together, so why would you even worry about it? Without the burden of the law (divorce) and no other skin in the game (kids) this is a simple decision. Cut your losses and move on. Only one of your options you list has a decent outcome.

cholomite · 2015-11-05T14:21:52+00:00

It sounds like you already know what you want to do, you just feel guilty about it. Life isn't fair, and it's not your job to make it fair for this girl. I don't think visiting the guy or talking to her directly will do any good. I'd advise against it. This is all about you know. Hopefully finding the pill helped you see your full potential. Decide for yourself if you want to spend the rest of your life taking care of a woman you can't trust, and a kid that isn't yours, or if you really do want to just forget everything and start fresh from here. We've all felt like idiots just like you, however you're still able to cut and run with nothing to lose. Whatever you do, do not marry this girl.

its-iceman · 2015-11-05T14:44:32+00:00

She TOLD you she was unfaithful. What are you looking for? A youporn link to the actual sex? That's it dude, it's over.

You say the relationship is over and you can never trust her again. No shit to both. Get the hell out man. She's not your wife, those aren't your kids.

MRPguy · 2015-11-05T14:58:36+00:00

What we have here is a unicorn vagina. Must be amazing and feel unlike any of the others.

opening_eyes · 2015-11-05T14:24:30+00:00

You may want to check the laws in your state to see if you somehow became common law married and owe support. Presumably the first Mr Bux is on the hook for that, but a quick legal consultation might be worthwhile now, whether you leave tomorrow or in three years.

Sepean · 2015-11-05T15:26:18+00:00

Who gives a fuck? You were a beta, you're not anymore. Let it go.

What is more important is evaluating what you're doing in this relationship. Single mother with two kids, huh? Are you 50 years old, or why do you think this is a good idea?

BluepillProfessor · 2015-11-05T16:01:56+00:00

I have learned throughout the relationship she is able to lie, and she is doing it a lot.

Your special snowflake isn't.

if I cannot trust her, there is no way this relationship will work.

See there you go again! Here is the secret to life, the universe and eveything- YOU CAN'T TRUST HER. SHE WILL FUCK AROUND ON YOU THE SECOND AN ALPHA GETS HER ALONE. AWALT.

Your 4th option is to accept AWALT and to govern your life as an Alpha male without recapitulating what might have happened years ago when you were a pathetic Beta.

TLDR: Trust but verify- aka DON'T trust.

ThatOtherMarriedGuy · 2015-11-05T16:33:09+00:00

Are you married? Do you have kids with her?

If no and no, then you've got it easy. Move on.

blarggggggggggg · 2015-11-05T17:42:31+00:00

if I cannot trust her, there is no way this relationship will work.

she is able to lie, and she is doing it a lot.

fasterpussycatdie · 2015-11-05T20:26:00+00:00

Not even going to bother trying to help with fixing this there is nothing to fix.

To her you are a means to an end. You are an ATM.

She is not your wife.

Those are not your kids.

You can, and should walk.

0kool74 · 2015-11-05T15:00:35+00:00

Moving in together with a single mom with 2 kids.

Fellas........just...........NO!!!!!

dandar4600 · 2015-11-05T15:47:57+00:00

There are plenty of threads on TRP the tell you that you can do much better than a single mother. Unless the husband/boyfriend died she is a person with flaws big enough that the first guy did not or was not able to stick around but was still good enough to have kids with.

Now, not only does she have major flaws, but a burden of two kids who are not yours. Don't you want to have kids of your own one day? Well with her you will be lucky to have 1 and that 1 will have to split resources of his parents (clothes, food, college, wedding, birthdays, christmas, etc) 3 ways with kids of another guy.

Now lets say besides the baggage of kids she was perfect in all other ways. But she is not. She is disrespectful to you. She lies habitually and has potentially cheated on you to the point that you no longer trust her.

Why would you want to keep participating in this trainwreck? Because of sunk cost fallacy? Because you think she will magically change and stop lying? The only thing you can improve here is the disrespect and the sex. She will still be a liar. She will still have the other guy's kids.

You're not married. You're not their father. DO NOT martyr yourself. Just leave.

Countpudyoola · 2015-11-05T16:00:04+00:00

Right, starting over isn't always the right option when going from beta to red, as you tend to take your problems with you.

BUT, in this case she's got her own set of problems: history of getting away with dishonesty with you &

her 2 kids you're investing in.

Punt. Work on yourself. Find a better woman with less baggage and start from a better foundation.

Trekneck · 2015-11-05T18:38:48+00:00

If you're at the point that you cannot trust your wife to tell you about the time she fucked chad, is it really necessary to go a seek out confirmation elsewhere? You're not buying her bullshit for a reason, because it's bullshit.

You'd be better off putting your efforts into becoming a better man and improving yourself, rather than constantly sneaking around, depressing yourself over the possibility that your disrespectful, liar of a wife might have cheated.

How you gonna handle it if you find out she lied, and does it really matter whether she lied or not at this point, you don't trust her either way? You ready to be single? Is your SMV up to par? Is your game ready to get some plates spinning? Or will you end up begging her to stay, crawling on your knees because you simply cant live without her?

From the sound of it, this chick is adding nothing to your life, and is taking focus away from the thing that needs the most improvement... YOU.

enfier · 2015-11-05T19:01:43+00:00

Consider the quality of your source. Was there any benefit to telling you from the point of view of the messenger? What incentive is there for the other person to lie?

Even if you go visit the guy and he tells you he didn't or you ask her and she convinces you that she didn't sleep with him, will you really believe it? Or will you still be stuck in limbo? If you force a confession, will you actually pack and leave?

How is the rest of the relationship? What really happened with her ex? You mention that she disrespects you, lies to you and moving in was a drunken mistake. Do you want to be living with her or would it be better to have your own place? Would it really be that hard to replace her with another lying cheating single mom? Would the replacement be better?

What are you afraid of? When you are indecisive, 9 times out of 10, the course that you are afraid of is the one that's right for you.

The answers to those questions will help you decide on a course. If you are leaving anyways, or staying anyways there's no point in finding out the truth.

druganswer · 2015-11-05T22:58:29+00:00

And if the guy says nothing happened beyond what she told you? You believe the guy fucking your wife?

There's no good way this can end and you look like a psycho. The only winning play is to next her because then you don't feel like a little cuck.

You ever gonna trust her again? No.

Clean cut, get over it. Don't hold resentment, she's not yours and she can't hurt you anymore once you leave. Your ego doesn't even need to be bruised because you peaced on her.

The_Litz · 2015-11-06T08:34:39+00:00

I have learned throughout the relationship she is able to lie, and she is doing it a lot

I did not read any further than that statement. OP, you already know what to do, you just came here looking for validation because your hamster is still running the show. You do not need specific proof or anything, you can cut and go whenever you want.

chief_slap_ahoe · 2015-11-06T10:20:29+00:00

Trust your gut. If you think she cheated than she cheated and act on it.

nastynickdr · 2015-11-11T19:57:20+00:00

Uh? Single mother of 2 kids, liar, cheater. Why are you still with her? Wheres your self respect?

Title	I feel like an idiot
Author	1wayjourney
Upvotes	4
Comments	25
Date	November 5, 2015 1:46 PM UTC (10 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askMRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/askMRP/comments/3rmlqy/i_feel_like_an_idiot/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askMRP/i-feel-like-an-idiot.207932 https://theredarchive.com/post/207932

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