If this was supposed to be in another place please let me know.

I have a hard time connecting with men on one to one level. Even my own friends. I understand and respect them and the talk is fine if we are 3 or more,i can partipate. But i cant seem to understand what to talk about if i am just left it one. I can do a basic chit chat, but even then i know (and i think they do too) that i am sort of pretending.

I never initiate meeting them one on one for this reason itself. Because i know i wont be able to hold conversations for long and it might get awkward.

This also makes sense that they meet alone most of the time and not include me. I have never expressed that. Maybe they think i dont put enough effort or initiate on my own.

I can hold conversations all day long with my wife when needed.

But i dont understand why its difficult for me to do that with my friends. Maybe i get too much in my head(which happens often and i overthink things)

I know a few people who other guys always wanna be with. But i dont understand what it is i am missing.

I maybe ranting here. But this is a big issue for me and i feel like i am missing on half of my life. I feel like I have spent half of my life without cultivating good male friendships. There might be a deeper issue but I need this fixed.

Anyone faced this issue or any advice?

Much appreciated.