My wife has a tendency to deconstruct my actions framing everything in a negative way. Some examples:

Example 1: I finished renovating a room in the house, project for the kids. Everyone else has had a positive reaction and has complimented the work. My wife however has said nothing positive and only complained about how long a portion had taken. She will also disregard the effort involved.

Example 2: I made some business deals at the end of last year and increased my income by 50k. You’d think that’s a good thing but instead of being positive about it she simplified the achievement and devalued any accomplishment.

“All you did was bla bla...” is how most of these interactions begin.

If she didn’t care or said nothing that would be fine but she continuously attack’s what I do. It’s like living with my own personal hater.

I’ve treated these as shit tests, AA or ignore but I’m starting to think there’s more to this. Are these shit tests or is this a fundamental lack of respect or something else?

Background: mid 30s, 3 kids, married 8 years. Been lifting for years. Great job, house, career and I handle financials and such.