Dealing with significant SMV increase

Sigma1Enigma · 2021-03-30T14:13:32+00:00

Anytime people are talking about something you have no background in you ask good questions and get them to tell their story.

They'll call you a good listener.

Even better own the fact that you never went out much and are looking forward to getting out more.

tiverma · 2021-03-30T14:18:24+00:00

social media is cancer. it ruins female's brains the same way porn ruins men's brains

if your SMV has truly increased, why are you worried about all this shit?

mr4kino · 2021-03-30T13:45:43+00:00

The question is: why do you care?

You are acting like a girl: let's do whatever it takes to get accepted by my circle.

Remember, you have no legal obligation to hang out with anyone. First, you need to learn to live on your own and be really independent. Right now, you are needy and want to be accepted. This is not the way to go. The second point is to change your friendship to some valuable people. And to do that you need to be valuable yourself. Improving your physique is very good, keep it up, now comes the mental part.

gamamal · 2021-03-30T15:02:00+00:00

I don't remember any time that I made the correct decision when I gave in to fear of missing out.

SuckOnMyCybercock · 2021-03-30T14:13:00+00:00

Instead of chipping in about your own experiences, ask them about theirs. People like to talk about themselves.
Just say you don’t like spending much time on your phone or social media. People will understand this and move on. You don’t have to justify your reasons to other people.

319Skew · 2021-03-30T16:11:42+00:00

You're over thinking it. You don't need to have a social media account. You also don't need to justify not having one.

While it's not critical that you have stories, it wouldn't hurt so much in having experiences. This isn't for THEM to accept YOU but so that YOU can have something that YOU can look back on.

Most people who go to places don't really do anything terribly exciting anyway. I went to Paris once while I was between flights. When someone asks me, I say it was nice. Food was good. People automatically think that I went to some 5 star Michelin restaurant. People want to believe the best or worst in someone they like/hate.

If you don't have anything to contribute to the conversation about destinations then ask them about it. Get them to gloat/boast and give you details. People love talking about themselves and it switches the spotlight off you and onto them while at the same time keeping an air of mystery.

Sin-Silver · 2021-03-30T13:50:59+00:00

1) Take a genuine interest in theirs stories. Listen and comment on other peoples experiences. Talk about what you want to do and are planning to do. Don’t feel pressured to make up stories, just be honest with what you have, and what you want to do.

2) Social Media can play a huge role in modern social groups. You need to learn to develop a relationship with it that beneficial to you. A relationship where you can build and present a positive image of yourself, and communicate with those important to you. Don’t fall into the SM trap of using it for procrastination and self worth by farming for likes and comments.

SamEatsChicken · 2021-03-30T13:38:53+00:00

I can relate to this a lot but from the other way - went from skinny to muscular.

You relate by either: steering the conversation where you want and being the extroverted person that makes everyone have fun, or by going out and making your own experiences.

I believe social media is a necessity in this era. Share what you’re proud of, nothing else. Don’t share shit. Use it to show off and connect with people.

It doesn’t matter how many friends you have, what matters is how many people engage with you.

Myagooshki4004 · 2021-03-30T15:10:49+00:00

It's fine that you're concerned about this, totally fair. Conversations are a machine. You gotta fix the rest of the parts.

You've gotten okay responses so far. One of the things you can do is talk about the concepts around what they're saying. So if they're talking about yellow Stone you could be like "do you think the volcano is going to blow?" Stuff like that. Also, keep this in mind. Nobody really cares how experienced you are. They just care if you're chill or not. I mean don't go boasting about how inexperienced you are, cause that isn't chill. But we all know it. If people only cared about Experience then life would be a caste system of those who are experienced versus those who aren't.

No you're not "acting like a girl". Men can act however they want.

You can just give them an overview if you want. "I just wanna unplug" is fair. If they continue to ask, you can be like "it drains my attention" or something. You don't have to get into your real reasons if it's about hypergamy or something.

Don_Draper27 · 2021-03-30T14:13:54+00:00

1) you don't have to have something to say all the time. The first rule of charisma is to just be a good listener. By providing interest, you are already contributing to the group.

2) don't even get started on social media if you're doing it for other people. ONLY reason you should do social media is for creative reasons: share pics / vids of you playing an instrument, drawing, graphic designing, etc.

And I doubt many people have even asked if you have social media. That's a question I thought would come up a lot too, but it never really does.

MoreAlfa · 2021-03-30T18:48:28+00:00

What do I say when people ask why I have no social media?

"It's not something that interests me." End of sentence and move on.

I feel like

Stop doing that. Seriously, stop saying "I feel like" and start saying, "I believe."

Finally, please read the sidebar. For fuck's sake, please read the sidebar because your post is full of stupid. FOMO. Beta.

When people start talking about stuff you don't know, a "normal, inquisitive human reaction" would be to ask questions and learn from them. That's what I do. Seems to be a pretty cool way to learn stuff.

Mostly, here is your issue: You are worried about ACTING ALPHA. That's fucking stupid. Define your own rules man. That's the coolest part of being a grown up--we get to define our own rules.

Libertarian_Gamer · 2021-03-30T14:53:22+00:00

Don’t post on insta. Build up your followers first. Follow people. Comment. Engage. When you do post, add some hashtags.

Don’t listen to the meat heads “Instagram?? You’re acting like a girl!” people below. I’ve gotten a good amount of girls from IG.

Radiant_Bliss · 2021-03-30T17:15:22+00:00

u/butterflydoors111, this is what I would have said to myself at 17, knowing what I know now.

I'm repeating myself, but I think the following is incredibly important for a young man to hear.

Most people are petulant children pretending to be adults, and are mouth-breathing idiots no matter what is between their legs.

An ocean of mediocrity puts excellence in stark relief.

Delete all social media connected to you IRL immediately, unless you're running a business. If you do, then hire someone to manage it for you, if funds allow.

If you want liberation from a world that consumes people, figure out a way to quietly make money while you sleep. Invest it wisely. Otherwise, you'll build someone else's pyramid for the rest of your life.

Keep hitting the gym. Be sure to not "red-line" your body constantly though. Give the same importance and commitment to recovery and leisure as you do your work. Moisturize your skin, and take care of your teeth. You're gonna be fine (all things being equal).

This may be the most important bit:

Never EVER reveal your MGTOW/RedPill status or opinions to anyone, even potential allies. You'll only invite unnecessary trouble.

Rational people don't need a "pill". Only confident risk management skills regarding the people they choose to interweave their lives with.

Loose lips sink ships.

Kodiak01 · 2021-03-30T14:37:13+00:00

You're like Johnny Fontane needing Don Corleone to come out from behind his desk and smack you.

"You can act like a man!"

THE_StrongBoy · 2021-03-30T14:43:47+00:00

If you have true high SMV, of course you should use social media. It’s just online dating for high smv people really

DLifts777 · 2021-03-30T16:09:51+00:00

Personally I hate social media (well Instagram) but it’s pretty much vital now for young women, especially if you don’t meet many women in day-to-day life. I still do pretty good without it (thanks to OLD) but I’m 9/10 SMV. I would get a lot more hotter girls if I used it, but I just disagree with it in principle and it would look odd just starting now.

Also women will treat you better in person if they know you have a big presence online. I think unless you’re a top guy who can rely on OLD then you need to get Instagram and create a solid profile. Otherwise your only other option is to meet women in day-to-day life by parties, clubs, friends, colleagues etc.

alternateaccount49 · 2021-03-30T16:43:24+00:00

Start going out more to get stories to tell.

As for social media, you could create an insta and keep it private and only allow a select few to follow you, giving the appearance that it’s hard to get to follow you. As for snap, if your score is low, take a long time to reply to give the impression you don’t use the app much. You can have as many people on snap as you want.

akihonj · 2021-03-30T16:51:52+00:00

1 be quiet, nod smile and let them talk, others will notice you aren't talking and wonder what you've done that you aren't telling them

2 don't use social media because you don't see the need to tell everyone everything about your life.

Following points then why do you care what others do or say.

lolomotif12 · 2021-03-30T17:23:41+00:00

"Why don't you have social media?"

Answer: Because it doesn't interest me.

"Should you have social media?"

Answer: No.

2021-03-30T17:51:51+00:00

No presence on social media can be seen as a red flag.

In terms of hypergamy, she might think you're unpopular, have no friends, or that you have nothing interesting to share, so that's why you're not on social media. Never ever forget hypergamy.

mrrooftops · 2021-03-30T19:14:57+00:00

You will threaten a lot more people you know than before.

Jacked5parrow · 2021-03-30T21:04:57+00:00

Simple; want to be able to relate or engage with such conversations? Act questions, express you desire to have similar to experiences. It opens the floor to have group trips and such.

Want to create a social media presence? Then do it, but do it with a purpose. Your activity online should always have purpose towards a growing something in your life. Social, financial, intellectual. If it’s just to look at pictures of girls or random bullshit then you’re wasting time.

Thr0wawayKane · 2021-03-30T21:59:20+00:00

I'm almost in the same exact boat as you. TRP took me to a new level. I found myself capitalizing on that during quarantine. I plated some hotties. most of which are VERY active on social media. I, like you, dont have any social media.

It wasn't that much of an issue when I was meeting up with these plates, because I wouldn't hang out with them much. BUT, on times where we did chill for a bit, a lot of them gravitate towards checking their phone if I go off to do something or if there is a bit of silence. But at the same time, one of the main reasons I seem to be doing well is because they know nothing about me. I also think it helps that when I get going on things I'm interested in, I make it very engaging. It also works the other way. I don't know anything about them, so I get them to tell me through their lens. and while it may still be a interpretation of who they are, it's not as fake as the curated posts on SM.

It definitely has its disadvanteges, but there are advantages as well. I recently made social media accounts to support an onlyfans I was thinking of going through with. and I had some of the same thoughts as you. even the signing up on all the platforms was exhausting. My accounts have no following, and I cant even add people I know. so its literally starting from nothing. and you're right about it seeming to lower your social status since there is no social proof, but like anything else, you just have to start and begin to chip away at it, or else size of what you're overcoming will always look daunting.

Cool-Blacksmith4030 · 2021-03-30T22:02:38+00:00

Brother save up some money and go on a trip with your friends, can be small like Amsterdam for the weekend.

I’m sure you’ll capture some memories while out there add them to your social media.

Don’t over think it just fucking do it and have fun!

tropicsGold · 2021-03-30T22:06:37+00:00

I remember when I first started dating in college, I felt the exact same way. I dealt with it by simply asking the girls lots of questions, and not spending a lot of time talking about myself. It seemed to go over very well, and I’ll never forget the first time one of the girls commented on how great I was to talk to, and another said something about me being mysterious. Lol.

RedEyeBlackEye1 · 2021-03-30T22:34:22+00:00

hey OP, wanna level up even more?

1) grow a heavy stubble or short beard(think Beckham or Zayn), keep it trimmed to 3-6mm(sweet spot for aesthetics and attraction), edge up the sideburnlines, cheeklines, and neckline. You just increased your looks by 2 pts and it only took 10 days.

CoachOcelot · 2021-03-30T22:43:32+00:00

Social media is the thing that allows most young people today to get taken advantage of. It's there for others to exploit you.

Tell them you're not on it because you make decisions and stick with them. You don't need to explain shit to people.

theredsperg · 2021-03-30T14:07:03+00:00

bro, this fearfulness is useless.

who cares if you have 50 or 500 friends.

you won't have social media presence but you got a better chance than a 50 year old freshly divorced.

you are young, more than half of your age group is on social media.

use it as a marketing tool for some junk idk.

Title	Dealing with significant SMV increase
Author	butterflydoors111
Upvotes	58
Comments	72
Date	March 30, 2021 1:17 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/mgftt4/dealing_with_significant_smv_increase/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/dealing-with-significant-smv-increase.779006 https://theredarchive.com/post/779006

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