Is my girlfriend crazy?

ihavetitaniumarms · 2018-02-10T18:03:37+00:00

get.out.of.there

CutLiver · 2018-02-10T18:46:56+00:00

She's a psycho. And you failed the shit test hard by trying to rationalize with her... Never try to explain a situation to a woman. They're emotional beings and they don't think like we do.

flatox · 2018-02-10T19:57:24+00:00

2 things:

Stop being a bitch.
Stop seeing that crazy bitch.

wkndatbernardus · 2018-02-10T21:28:11+00:00

You've been dating this queen for 2 years?!?! You must have Stockholm syndrome to put up with her shit. Either that or you are jay-z and the woman texting u was Beyonce.

Sittingonabigbluebox · 2018-02-10T18:41:04+00:00

She's having a temper tantrum just like a child. What would you do if a child was saying all this to you? If a child didn't get it's own way and was shouting at you, what would you do? You went into her frame but in future, DON'T GO INTO HER FRAME.

Let her finish her little rant and say, "Are you finished? Good. I'll see you later so we can celebrate your birthday (kissy face)"

360_no_scope_upvote · 2018-02-10T19:17:11+00:00

I'm some what of a specialist when it comes to crazy girls, BPD/BP/Schizo and the like. From what I'm reading here this reads like classic BPD. She feels like she has control over your and can manipulate you entirely, and you've let her, I can tell because you've let it get to this point. She's probably had similar blow outs in the past and you take it because you're beta. You're frame control is non-existent, you've never set boundaries with this woman, that's why she's acting like this.

This will get much worse in time, especially since you don't know how to take control of situations, I recommend walking away from her entirely. She will eventually branch swing, fuck one of your friends and be entirely remorseless about it.

MarvelousWhale · 2018-02-10T23:28:04+00:00

Dude that bitch is crazy as fuck. Your best bet is to break up with her cold turkey, no explanation. You have a seriously dangerous situation on your hands.

This is the kind of girl that tries to cut your dick off in your sleep because a friend of hers told her a week prior that she saw you talking to a cashier once and she doesn't want you to be able to cheat on her so she tries to cut your dick off.

Run.

cappadocianhawk · 2018-02-10T18:34:36+00:00

You talk too much. Failed all the shit tests. She's just doing woman shit like trying to get you more committed. Demote to plate at best, this won't work out for you in the long run.

Read the sidebar, don't make the same mistakes. Never give in to the demands for more commitment.

youcantdenythat · 2018-02-10T18:25:11+00:00

It's a shit test, you jumped instantly into her frame when you should have A&A.

Auvergnat · 2018-02-11T01:58:56+00:00

Your girl is acting like a girl, there's nothing wrong about her.

You my friend, however, are NOT on a good path. You are applying typical male logic, trying to make sense of women's behavior, wanting to interpret it, needing a logical explanation X for behavior Y.

Women act on their feelings. There's no necessary logic to it. There's no necessary rational behind it. You're making yourself miserable trying desperately to interpret a real meaning behind an abstract piece of art.

What you need to do in the face of women's chaotic behavior is AMUSED MASTERY. Picture her as a petulant child throwing a tantrum and act accordingly: you smile at her, poke fun of her, have fun with the words that come out of her mouth, and then give her a big hug telling her "all is going to be alright".

RedHeMan · 2018-02-10T19:43:28+00:00

Unnecessary drama. Should've soft nexted after her first burst of bullshit.

319Skew · 2018-02-10T21:11:34+00:00

JESUS. Leave. Christ man. How's this even a fucking question?

RedSkeller · 2018-02-10T18:46:01+00:00

Baited into a fight about nothing. You're better off without that child.

dontbedenied · 2018-02-10T18:31:29+00:00

If she's doing this shit now, it's only going to get worse later. You shouldn't put up with anyone, man or woman, who will talk to you like this. Clearly she thinks she can talk to you like this and get away with it.

redpilledprince · 2018-02-10T22:49:41+00:00

Hard next.

Block her & game other girls. She's a fucking psychopath.

y_nnis · 2018-02-10T23:15:40+00:00

Leave. Now. People who feel they can call you retarded and assume your feelings for you do not deserve a minute of your time.

Whisper · 2018-02-11T00:43:16+00:00

Think about this.

Here's what she did:

Imagine in her mind what you would do if you loved her.
Not tell you what she wanted.
Get angry at you for not coming to the same conclusion on your own, and then doing what she wanted.

How long do you want to live like this?

Themysticalfuture · 2018-02-10T19:13:36+00:00

Is this a joke? do you even need to ask this question? She insulted you and you entered her little world of bullshit trying to explain yourself. i know you wont break up with her because you sound like a pussy so good luck to you

Work_In_Progress92 · 2018-02-10T23:16:41+00:00

She’s looking to fight about anything and everything. Probably looking for reasons to end it with you.

TheDisillusionist · 2018-02-11T00:12:08+00:00

Eject. Now. You shouldn't be celebrating her birthday OR fucking with her when she gets there. Why are you explaining yourself so damn much when you know this shit is off base?

walawalawa · 2018-02-11T02:30:40+00:00

To ask the question is to already know the answer. But this post deserves a bit more scrutiny.

Yes, chicks go nuts on special days: my crazy plate would do EXACTLY the same things. I learned to handle it much better.

Firstly, by submitting to her CRAZY frame, you're throwing gasoline on a fire instead of trying to contain it. Asking a girl if she's crazy is only expanding the problem. She'll become more and more defensive as she did.

If you had used amused mastery: "Someone hasn't had their nap today..." or sent her a ridiculous photo that would have helped to tamp it down. Send her a photo of a piece of meat to confuse her. She'll ask: "What's this???" You: Birthday steak...we'll put candles in it...you'll learn to love it.

Now she's all nuts and you're on the backfoot.

Leave it. Go silent. Let her emotional rollercoaster ride out. She'll eventually calm down when you don't react. Then you can think about how to manage this.

Longer-term. Yah, she's nuts and you want to get out of there as soon as you can.

I had a very similar situation. It never got better. But when she did this crap, I'd disappear for a week or two...just not engaging her at all.

But she wised up to game tactics and would then start her own shit: asking my "friends" out for little dates to try to get back at me. Of course it didn't end well.

Had I known then what I have since learned I would have followed the advice i'm giving you now.

Pluglord · 2018-02-10T21:12:16+00:00

Holy shit that was hard to read. Idk if this level of beta can be cured.

Imalwaysrightred · 2018-02-10T21:25:40+00:00

I read the texts. She’s crazy, break up with her. She likes Facebook so much so she’ll love changing her relationship status.

dreadfrog · 2018-02-10T22:04:00+00:00

Wow.

I'm so glad I always forgot the birthday of all my girlfriends. You know, men never remember these things.

But... this is her birthday, so she deserves the absolute best! I mean, the gift of blowjobs and anal and everything! So romantic and beautiful. Really, she doesn't need to thank you. It's on the house.

BluffButt · 2018-02-10T23:26:01+00:00

Next time, if there is a next time. Handle that situation in person. If she disagrees to meet in person to discuss, soft ghost till she comes to her senses. When you finally do talk in person. Ha did that shit bro, you’re better than this.

keep_improving · 2018-02-11T00:06:23+00:00

Read this article by Shari Schreiber on splitting behaviors (the black/white thinking she has)'

http://gettinbetter.com/perfect.html

Also: break off the relationship. Go no contact.

noct3rn4l · 2018-02-11T01:31:19+00:00

u/ushirtrun yes, she cray, but you handled the situation poorly. You can't change cray so all you can do is get better at managing it. A good rule of thumb is to always send the happy bday text regardless of whatever you have planned unless making her think you forgot about her bday is part of the plan. Choose your battles, this one, even if you were in the right you're still wrong, cuz #birthday. And never rationalize your behavior.

belispeakz · 2018-02-11T03:04:56+00:00

Girls text their girl friends at 12:01 to say happy birthday. That being said she may just be young, immature & emotional

LordThunderbolt · 2018-02-11T16:00:19+00:00

That bitch cray

DadOnDabs · 2018-02-11T16:15:23+00:00

Don't walk. Run.

RedLegendx · 2018-02-10T18:04:27+00:00

Sex then whatever she wants, don’t reward her “crazy behavior” with what she wants, reward her after she has given you what you want.

AWorseManThanYou · 2018-02-10T22:51:12+00:00

Cancel on her. Go silent

IronJohnKwando · 2018-02-11T00:25:37+00:00

BlackHeart89 · 2018-02-11T00:26:32+00:00

Yeah. She's batshit crazy bro. Good luck. Hope you're still alive after the encounter. My ex did something similar because I didn't call to check up on her after she had a tooth pulled. She really had the same reaction. I was so blown away by how absurd it was that I couldn't even argue back. Lol

GameAndGains · 2018-02-11T00:47:45+00:00

Bro lol these are the same type of text messages I send women to create drama.

I'm going to use her lines on my next birthday.

TheRedKeepx · 2018-02-11T02:07:59+00:00

That's a crazy bitch

telluwhut · 2018-02-11T02:34:19+00:00

Having been through this, I can say it only gets worse from here. Get out now before you have a pregnancy scare. If she's menstruating now, that's a good time to end it because it prevents her from coming back in 3 months and saying you're the dad.

casemodsalt2 · 2018-02-11T02:55:33+00:00

I don't know. I didn't read all of it but it seems like she just wanted a happy birthday text.

I pulled the same with my girl but I forgot her birthday...said the same about seeing her in person.

chazthundergut · 2018-02-11T04:26:52+00:00

She's not crazy at all, in terms of being outside the normal spectrum of the average woman.

He simply failed her shit test. Why would any man engage with debating and arguing with a woman over this nonsense?

Should have treated her emotional outburst like any other: ignore it completely and tell her to to come unwrap her birthday present.

If she persists in giving shit, ignore and don't text back until she's ready for make-up sex.

mbillion · 2018-02-11T04:32:30+00:00

Can't tell which one is which in the convo. You definitely played each other's game

Merwebb · 2018-02-11T05:36:10+00:00

If neither are native speakers, what language either of you speak?

DiggerClam · 2018-02-11T05:53:05+00:00

Why did you reply to a crazy person? It's like a 12yr old showing their thong to a paedo.

nikELBroke · 2018-02-11T06:04:53+00:00

Sometimes it’s not really worth the pain you get when you’re constantly trying to fix something you didn’t break to begin with. I had relations like this and i can tell you I went through the exact same thing. Only difference is i decided to find someone different and “better” and i did! And lemme tell ya... im not regretting breaking those relationships up !!!!

VasiliyZaitzev · 2018-02-11T07:55:39+00:00

Yes, she's crazy. Run, Forrest, RUUUUUUUN!

That said she's also whining and demanding comfort, etc. Arguing with her won't work, btw. Never argue with a woman.

Flaerndep · Sun Feb 11 8:58:52 2018 UTC

She a Filipina by any chance?

Andorli · 2018-02-11T09:15:26+00:00

Man I would not even post this on RP, I would just let her go right after first wall of text.

RememberWhenEye · 2018-02-11T14:20:23+00:00

Stay tuned. More severe irrationality to come if you let this one go

Pelikahn · 2018-02-11T16:14:59+00:00

You handled that situation very well.

This relationship would always be like this if you keep it up. She will keep making big problems over nothing. It's up to you if you want to deal with this shit. I know I wouldnt, but that's because I've made that mistake before.

BraindeadIQ · 2018-02-11T16:53:55+00:00

Get out, i’ve dealt with similar stuff before, It won’t get much better, only worse. But you also made few mistakes there. But since most here have said what you need to do you should already know.

CC_ee · 2018-02-12T00:56:08+00:00

Youre the crazy one

Gravel_Roads · 2018-02-12T10:16:58+00:00

Yo, I'm not an AWALT dude or whatever but as an individual, that chick seems pretty unreasonable. I don't like telling other people what to do, but I can say that I would probably ghost her in as low-drama of a way as possible. Because she strikes me as a time bomb.

One way or another, this will probably happen to you again if you stay with her.

Sir-Pumpalot · 2018-02-12T12:29:18+00:00

you handled it very poorly, you DEERed too much, tried to explain shit with logic and took her serous.

After the first couples sentences you should tell her "we will celebrate when you are here" and the convo is done, dont answer nor read it, better do something else till she comes to your home and don't tell her happy birthday or anything just because she demands it, you owe her shit, tell her to shut up if she behaves like that but stop DEERing.

bookloverphile · 2018-02-13T02:59:27+00:00

How do you post a really long pic like that?

redditnosleep · 2018-02-27T21:52:32+00:00

Man what you needed to say when she was emotional was to not fall into her shit test: "Aww my girl is missing his daddy. Well I still have sometime you can come over and do some the things we always do."

I guarantee this wouldve worked. You fell into her frame. Yall people just need to understand that every girls sometimes have their own emotional episodes, which are your opportunity to tease her and make her more attracted to you. Part of the redpill is to be able to handle your girls.

richardbransonbutnot · 2018-02-10T23:06:58+00:00

Seems like a normal ass fit test to me.

Every LTR is going to have this occasionally. I call them "maintenance fights"

Also, I don't know which you did, but sex first. Not for you, or any "reward" psychology shit, but just cus it tends to straighten things out a lot of the time so you don't have to deal with the BS later.

D_Hamm35 · 2018-02-11T02:27:18+00:00

Dude, are you guys in high school? She sounds mental. How do you deal with someone this immature.

ushirtrun · 2018-02-11T00:38:50+00:00

Update: she came over, I initiated sex and she cried a bit saying she wants me to care about her. Turns out she's menstruating. We bang anyway. I gave her her gift, did the bday cake BS and went out for some drinks. After I did the birthday crap she seemed happy again.

But I can't stop thinking whether she's legit crazy or if it was me who handled it poorly. I'm confused. Seems like a lot of people think I failed her shit test, many others think she's just straight up crazy/BPD.

How do I go about deciding which one of the two it is?

Title	Is my girlfriend crazy?
Author	ushirtrun
Upvotes	41
Comments	115
Date	February 10, 2018 6:01 PM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/7wn051/is_my_girlfriend_crazy/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/is-my-girlfriend-crazy.610 https://theredarchive.com/post/610

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