My first time alone at a bar

jakethesnake5000 · 2019-01-08T04:31:10+00:00

Sounds like a successful night to me. First time going out alone, you get better with time and experience... not quick tips.

Most of my lays are solo bar trips, wing men only slow you down. Experience my friend, it takes time

AloofusMaximus · 2019-01-08T04:37:27+00:00

Don't get shitfaced while you're at the bar alone. A drink or two is fine, but you're really shooting yourself in the foot if you're trying to game while that drunk.

Bleu_Cheese_Pursuits · 2019-01-08T04:39:09+00:00

Congrats on the testicles. Honestly as for advice on how to not be a creep...go to a different bar after you've been rejected by all the girls at the one you're at.

TheGoblinTurkey · 2019-01-08T08:28:37+00:00

Congratulations, you're already pushing yourself beyond what most people ever will.

I find if I'm in a bar / club alone it helps to have the 'traveller' mentality. Basically I've found when I'm in a different country I'm far more confident going out alone.

It's down to the mindset of thinking that, well I don't know anyone here so I may as well have some fun and, if I get rejected, it doesn't matter because nobody in this country knows me.

So even if you're in your home town, try imagining that you're on a week long holiday in some other part of the world.

306westernfront · 2019-01-08T07:56:09+00:00

If its your first two approaches ever then congrats. Im guessing awkward situations. Thats fine youll improve.

This is my bar game advice, and is in no way directed or mirrored from "side bar"

I get my best responses out of women if i make fun of them of them right off the hop. Nothing too savage, keep it light.

Im tall so if i see a short chick ill say something like.

"you better watch i dont run you over, i can barely see you down there"

There's a million paths this can take but if theyre chill theyll chirp you back.

Obvs agree and amplify.

Now youre pretty much in, keep making dumb jokes and light conversation. Any extended direct conversation that leads to personal information is boring,

Good

"Where are you from" "West side" "Oh that explains the hight" (lame example)

Bad

"Where are you from" "West side" Oh no way my cousin lives over there" "Oh huh" "Yeah he went to Glensdale high school, you know him" "Ugh no"

You get the picture. Be constantly thinking. Im going to make her laugh, and take her home. Make fucking the goal in the back of your head, but dont hunt girls, stay casual. ive hunted. Some women love it but only the crazy ones.

getting a number in a bar is lame. Girls give fake numbers, they give their friends numbers to guys as jokes, and most likely wont remember who you are when you text them tomorrow or whatever. So just forget getting a girls number while in a bar all together.

If youre gaming in a bar be there to lay pipe.

I have smashed some pretty hot chicks. But id being lying if i said ive never fucked some absolutely wretched women.

you need to slay some dragons to get to a princess its ancient knowledge.

Take whatever number you think you are and drop it by like 2 then take shots at those chicks. Its good practice and youll be less likely to go into the interaction while already having put her on a pedestal.

Theres ying and yang brother. You're gunna strike out man dont worry. Ive had drinks thrown at me many times, Slapped, you name it. Bars are a wild ride.

Lyto528 · 2019-01-08T05:30:59+00:00

Learning is made through failure. Hopefully you'll be more successful next time. I've gotta admit you've got more balls than I do.

ThinSpiritual · 2019-01-08T09:12:05+00:00

I'm typing this as I'm shitfaced drunk.

Only young adults drink themselves to stupor. Don't do this, recognize that: 1) You need to be sharp to hold a conversation, and 2) alcohol hurts your sexual performance. But if you need the booze-boost to feel confident, have a drink.

Cuz right now I am fucking terrible. And also how much rejection can I expect?

During my early clubbing days, I would get drunk then go up to girls like a complete creep and just ask "Hey you wanna dance?". Think one time I got rejected at least 10x on a night. Is there a difference between getting rejected 2x or 10x? Doesn't matter when you have so little opportunity costs. I mean, nobody really gives a fuck about u being rejected, they are not having a laugh, including the girls who rejected u. Who cares? Probably just your own ego hamster.

Remember you're going out to have fun and to meet people. YOU are doing it for YOURSELF. You already made the first step to be proactive. Next time don't let your ego hamster go wild, don't feed it with too much alcohol. Talk to people, give compliments, ask the girls where they are from, how do they like the place, what are they drinking, etc.

Also maybe advice on how not to be a creep cuz I was just standing alone the whole night.

Also, if you're nervous about talking to girls, you can talk to other guys too, u know?

Velebit · 2019-01-08T10:54:50+00:00

Lol I just go through every woman I come across. The thing is, if I get the number of the first one, I tend to stop. To keep the night being a 100% success. However after the first rejection I get a boost. Because it is 0%... only up further lol.

It's like when an animal gets wounded and just becomes more ferocious. After a while you just stop caring about rejections and build up an instinct of who likes you without talking to them.

You are only creepy is girl does not like you and feels treathened. Just smile, be nice, wish her and her friends a solid evening and find a next target.

Do not expect high success. You can get a couple of numbers in one night and then get snubbed by 15 girls in a row. Some people just don't like you, so what.

If you have a 1% success while being new to that consider yourself successful. Success goes way up if yoi have an in or it is not a 100% cold approach. If you go to a college class or train in a gym or have seen each other around campus or you go to a dance class together... even if you wait for the same bus... those are all ins of various worth and they will increase your success.

There is no secret of what to say. Just ask a question. Until you blow it first 10 times you will not open them well, you will stutter, blush, fidget, be tight and strech your hands or some other display of nervousness.

Just accept failures and go through it. Yeah they will consider you a loser and funnily enough most females are actually nice enough to talk to you for a while. I find myself quickly going from 'am I actually doing this' to 'lets see how far I can go with this' and it actually gets to a decent success rate once you able to present yourself as a good guy.

Don't lie too much though.

Greek-God-Brody · 2019-01-08T07:28:46+00:00

Do not drink when you go out.

INNASKILLZ2K18 · 2019-01-08T07:02:32+00:00

Yeah man, balls are the first thing to develop, and you only get em by going out to the firing line.

How did you approach these girls? Like, what did you say?

MaldororHollow · 2019-01-08T05:35:50+00:00

You know I've gotta ask. Would things have turned out better if I was really fucking attractive? I mean would it have compensated for my complete lack of game and the fact that i was standing alone like a creep? Cuz I've always thought I Was pretty attractive, and not cuz my mother told me, but cuz I've gotten looks and flirts from women alot in the past.

Hambone_Malone · 2019-01-08T07:51:00+00:00

Smoking area is the best place to talk to people. It's less noisy. If you don't smoke, just get a vape or something. If you strike up a convo and you're not comfortable telling them you're alone, just say your friends just left. All my best interactions have been in smoking areas.

prrraveen · 2019-01-08T07:11:09+00:00

This is great, just have a pint or two, don't keep changing your location frequently, stick to one place with an attitude like you are the owner of this bar and it's a usual day for you.

Lift and dress better. Jacked up guys have really great chance at clubs.

throwawaybpdnpd · 2019-01-08T06:11:06+00:00

This wasn't a fail, this is a success!

Good job on going alone and trying, you can expect to be rejected many times before getting a number; I usually don't care until I get 10 rejections and no numbers then I go home

It's an analysis and quantity game, then a lot of practice (experience)

Good luck on the next time you go

BrocktheFlow · 2019-01-08T07:36:58+00:00

I've always found the pool table to be the best place to make approaches at most bars.

Roll up and challenge the table. Even if it's a mixed group of guys/girls. If you have enough confidence and alpha body language, you will usually spur reactions out of the group. The girls may give you IOI's, and the guys will either put their arm around their girl defensively or test your frame with AMOG attempts.

Go from there, calibrate calibrate calibrate. It comes with experience.

Kommanderdude · 2019-01-08T14:33:19+00:00

Go watch alpha male strategies on YouTube. Learn to be about your purpose and fuck these hoes to sleep.

pre-death · 2019-01-08T08:06:45+00:00

Step 1: just one beer. If someone offers a drink, get some whiskey and drink it very slooooow, keep adding ice.

Step 2: read the side-bar on this subreddit and apply it.

Rosace_89 · 2019-01-08T09:32:19+00:00

do a more detailled FR please OP

JanIsPeterPan · 2019-01-08T11:44:28+00:00

I was alone in Vienna for a week and was always alone at the beginning of the night. In my experience I first of all had to click with a group of people and get comfortable with them.

Just use „Do you have a lighter?“ or „Do you come from here?“

After you got your peer group, you can go game all nice girls. And if nothing happens and you just want to have a good time, go back to your group and have a blast with them :)

alt41510 · 2019-01-08T13:02:23+00:00

Get buzzed, as soon as you walk in walk roght up to the first chick or dude who seems interesting. Keep the momentum going is my advice.

Startlivingfornow · 2019-01-08T13:25:12+00:00

You’ll get to a point where you can read the room and open groups to get to the chick you want.

Don’t get discouraged. My first night out I didn’t have the balls to approach a chick and tried to go for a high five instead and she gave me the most disgusted look.

After doing it consistently you’ll feel like a god amongst plebs. It will become so easy that you’ll see who you want to approach, figure out how to do it, and start walking towards them within a moment

Metalgear222 · 2019-01-08T13:44:36+00:00

Try approaching them with ways you know you’ll be rejected first. Treat it like a game and see how many creative ways you can get rejected. Having your mindset on that will create a fun environment for you and take away and pressure you may have been putting on yourself.” Because you haven’t fostered the correct mentality to be able to consciously become outcome independent.

Karlsunhk · 2019-01-08T15:45:06+00:00

Rome wasn't built in a day. Like many said before, keep at it and you'll see results eventually (If you're lifting etc).

Tmccormickiv · 2019-01-08T16:09:01+00:00

“Practice doesn’t make perfect, evaluated practice makes perfect.” Keep that in mind while you’re gaining experience. As long as you learn from the night and progress then consider tonight a victory.

RedSkeller · 2019-01-08T16:12:59+00:00

Congrats on actually going out lone wolf style and trying it out. Honestly, like others here I've had my best luck solo. Another good move is talking to one group and then moving to talk to another group on the other side of the bar, and then bringing one group over to the other group. Talk to everyone and be social, remember being different is interesting and steer conversations away from boring small talk if you can. Isolate women and tell them you want to grab some air or whatever and escalate when alone. Pull them that night and don't bother collecting numbers.

alpha_bravado · 2019-01-08T17:03:49+00:00

Use mystery method and some peacocking!!!

WarDiaz209 · 2019-01-08T22:26:56+00:00

You just need more reference experience man, its like anything in life, the more of it you do the better you'll get. You've done the hardest part already lol - 90% of guys couldn't even take action and go out alone with the intent of making those aproaches. Good on ya

Brushyourteethm8 · 2019-01-08T22:31:17+00:00

Good effort, go for 3 attempts next time - then 4.

Number 20 will be the winner, if not before.

Get comfortable being out of your comfort zone and you will build confidence 1 set back at a time

0io- · 2019-01-09T06:05:48+00:00

Here's a trick that will save you a ton of money. When you go to the bar solo just announce to the bartender that you are the designated driver for those people over there, and that you're drinking water and club soda all night but in a (whatever style of glass people are drinking from). You can tip him a few bucks right at the outset and they will generally be happy to keep your glass full. You'll do much better on your approaches.

Momonman · 2019-01-08T14:29:06+00:00

Nice man! Congrats on getting the courage to get out there. I have very few friends who will go to bars by themselves. When I do it, I try to post up at the bar next to an area that doesn't have a chair. That way people will be constantly walking up and ordering drinks, you can engage them there without having to approach their group.

Thisismybot8 · 2019-01-08T14:47:36+00:00

Bars are a waste of time and money. If you want to fuck, hire a prostitute or get matches on dating apps.

Title	My first time alone at a bar
Author	MaldororHollow
Upvotes	135
Comments	68
Date	January 8, 2019 4:29 AM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/adqk16/my_first_time_alone_at_a_bar/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/my-first-time-alone-at-a-bar.137051 https://theredarchive.com/post/137051

Comments