Why does acting like a "jerk" work for alpha males but not nice guys?

griefpickle · 2015-09-06T15:36:36+00:00

It is all in the delivery and context of a situation, and that quite frankly, the "nice guys" tend to be more malicious about it in their attempt to emulate what they perceive the "Alpha" to be doing.

It is also in your choice of words, and social awareness of the discussion. "Nice Guys" are constantly looking for that one "in" to be an asshole, that they jump at any opportunity even when it is completely irrelevant and inappropriate.

Here's a scenario I encountered a couple months ago while eating lunch at work:

We were all eating with a newer coworker. He seemed funny and sarcastic enough. Another female coworker around his age, that he seemed obvious to impress, decided to sit with us.

For whatever reason, we got on to the topic of mirrors and how she used to be afraid of them. New kid pipes up: "Haha, is it because you're ugly?"

We all just looked at him wondering why the fuck he would say something like that. It was actually a pretty dickhead thing to say and came completely out of left field.

Funny thing is, the girl was slightly interested in him and was looking for an opportunity to sit down in a group setting to get somewhat of a feel for who he was before she started talking to him one on one....... until he made that comment.

Cue her "Alpha" friend who got away with pretty much the same comment, but in a different setting:

She came to work looking REALLY tired/hung over. We went for coffee and she didn't want to go, but he was insisting. She said: "Noooo, I look ugly today I don't want to go out like this"

Him: "Noooo... you don't look ugly. Maybe just a little tired, frumpy and hungover.... yeah, better not come along with us" very tongue in cheek, but she ended up coming along in order to tell him how much of a "jerk" he was for 10 minutes while he laughed his ass off calling going "Awwww little ugly duckling, it's okay"

Alpha men are less "confrontational" in their remarks, use it in an appropriate context, and know a delivery.

They treat it like jokes -- if you fuck up the delivery, you've killed the joke. Likewise: if you fuck up the delivery of a cheeky comment, you kill the tingles.

favours_of_the_moon · 2015-09-06T17:23:10+00:00

They're doing it from a position of abundance and power.

You're doing it from a position of sour grapes.

smokingmonkey420 · 2015-09-06T17:49:16+00:00

Maybe it's just me, but I try not to act like a jerk to anyone. Putting people down is something insecure people do to make themselves feel better. It's just generally negative and not my style.

Teasing someone is something entirely different. Teasing is done with an underlying warmth for another person.

DOCTORxTEETH · 2015-09-06T15:38:17+00:00

Because women are like dogs, they can smell the fake on you. They'll be more willing to fuck a guy that's an asshole just because he's an asshole than they will a guy that's pretending to be that way.

abdada · 2015-09-06T15:24:55+00:00

Nice guys are guys who hide their true intentions. They're liars. Worse, nice guys don't have stoic frame control so them being jerks looks emo.

awalt_cupcake · 2015-09-06T20:06:40+00:00

A lot of these other users are correct but each one doesn't mention something called the ladder.

In summary, you've been placed by society. They expect certain behaviors from you. They expect you to act certain way. Women do not expect you to be a sexual option because you never presented yourself as a lover. This presentation can be tone, body language, your frame, etc. Once you present yourself, women place you on their ladder.

Now you start acting alpha. Perhaps you really are on your way to becoming alpha. They don't know that. Women never have to grow up or change. They don't know what change is. But they know what acting is. They think you're acting (read: lying).

The only way to break free from this? Ignore. Every. Single. Doubter.

Do not let any negativity into the hull of your mental-ship or it will sink. Keep afloat.

As you keep ignoring them, cut off people who aren't helping you reach your goals.

Over time, women will notice you're different. You will have changed places on the ladder. Some women will never embrace your change. Luckily, there are billions of vaginas in the world waiting for you to get your shit together.

Don't be placed by society. Place yourself instead. You aren't being treated like you ought to? Leave and ignore. This builds respect, or as I like to call it, re-claiming your balls. If you find yourself still being treated the wrong way, keep lifting and completing your goals. Have a positive yet realistic outlook. Tell yourself people will bend over back-wards for you and in time (key: this will take lots of time) you will be where you wanted to be.

RedPillJax · 2015-09-06T16:55:32+00:00

It works for guys who have high SMV's.

Nice guys are usually referred to as such because they have low SMV's, and their one redeeming feature is that they're "nice," aka subserviant.

Girls will chase you through negs if you're somebody worth chasing. If you're a fat mouthbreather in a stained shirt, you're just going to come off like a prat.

Peow_peow · 2015-09-06T20:30:55+00:00

Because it's not congruent.

When a Chad is being a jerk, he is just being himself.

Nice guys aren't naturally jerks, so by acting like one - it comes off as try hard and fake.

You get the same outcome if you switch the roles around. What I mean is, imagine Chad Thundercock being a nice guy. It would be cringeworthy and weird.

However... If the nice guy kept acting like a jerk, eventually he'd find some congruence to it - imo. In the beginning it would come off weird and fake, but if he had enough backbone to stick it out, he'd eventually find the socially accepted level of being a jerk. The point where people are going hey you asshole, but aren't walking away from him or trying to fight him.

Then he'd evolve into a gyrados and use hyperbeam, only to be captured by team rocket.

Icreatedbothofu · 2015-09-06T20:59:37+00:00

Lots of good answers in this thread but I want to go way macro on why alphas can act like jerks when betas can't.

Alphas have the ability to understand subtextual language and situations, and react fluidly and appropriately to them. This doesn't mean that an alpha cares what the group thinks. In fact, because the alpha understands the group better than they understand themselves he cares less what they think and responds in ways that manipulate the group to support and help him.

The beta might understand something is funny, but he doesn't gauge any of the subtextual conversation going on to judge whether the joke is appropriate in this setting, with this girl, in this group, at this moment.

The largest distinguisher between alphas and betas is social acuity. Betas don't understand any of this sub context. They don't understand their own relationship to the group and further, don't believe that these emotional and relationship balances carry the weight that they actually do. The alpha is making a very calibrated move with very good reasons behind it. The beta is just firing blind.

bonerfleximus · 2015-09-06T18:21:37+00:00

Because it's not being a jerk that attracts women. It's the fact that a chad does not care what she thinks of him, being a jerk is a byproduct of that. Nice guys on the other hand care very much.

YouDislikeMyOpinion · 2015-09-06T20:46:52+00:00

They don't have any value.

Let's say that you're selling some service your company provides to a potential client at a conference. You are trying to maximize your sales. Let's say that they are hesitant. You figure that your time is better spent gaining clients who purchase the service. You move on.

They see that everything about you makes sense. They've seen what a successful company, service, pitch, etc looks like. They will see that value.

There's another guy beside you selling his company's service. The potential client is not buying anything but the guy is still trying to sell it. The pitch has all the right words in it, but it doesn't feel right. It's not adding up already.

You are a skilled salesman and you are living your life, and selling your company's service. The other guy is trying to sell his company's service. The potential client has been pitched countless times in their life. They will have strategies to test the value that a company can provide.

I'm not exactly sure how a beta could accurately emulate an alpha. They could do certain things, but they don't have the knowledge, life experiences, or reasoning to think and act like an alpha. It's not natural to them. It's like flipping to a sales book and trying something. That is what game tries to do. "here are some sales tactics". TRP is "here's what makes you a good salesman".

The beta has little frame of reference for the jerk behaviors he is emulating. The alpha sees why that behavior achieves result X and where the alpha can use that behavior in the correct time and context. The difference is night and day.

Secondly, these betas are easy to spot.

rpisnotpua · 2015-09-06T21:37:24+00:00

because "like a jerk" is a four-letter word, and "alpha" is 4 pages of rules. Alphas come off as jerks but so do clueless betas who only read the first page.

workdavework · 2015-09-06T17:19:56+00:00

[deleted]

What is this?

Draki1903 · 2015-09-06T19:17:49+00:00

They have a higher social standing so their actions are excused more.

Just like people don't take shit from bad looking girls but good looking girls can slide away with more.

RemyPrice · 2015-09-06T20:20:54+00:00

There's a difference between jerk and IDGAF.

An alpha doesn't give a fuck.

Nice guys don't know how to generate an IDGAF attitude, so they attempt to emulate it by being a jerk.

niczar · 2015-09-06T21:28:42+00:00

It definitely works. At least it's worked for me. I have a hard time keeping up, but it works.

justbrowsingkthanks · 2015-09-06T22:47:53+00:00

con fi dence.

mryddlin · 2015-09-06T22:50:39+00:00

Desperation...

They feel of desperation and lack the confidence to deliver it correctly.

someboringdude · 2015-09-07T00:44:10+00:00

Because the nice guy is "acting".

Luckyluke23 · 2015-09-07T03:10:34+00:00

Its all about providing value man. A nice guy tries to be a jerk but it comes grom the wrong place. Hea doing it becuase he was told to and not because he wanta to. There for its not congruent and dosent work

StarDestinyGuy · 2015-09-07T04:04:12+00:00

Okay, so what if there's an unattractive guy. Let's say a 3 or 4/10.

Let's say he's mastered being alpha. The IDGAF attitude. He's not acting. He's internalized all of that and what's taught here.

Would he be successful with women? Could all of that overcome the unattractive appearance?

Or would it all (even though It's genuine and internalized) not work since he's so unattractive?

fallout2299 · 2015-09-07T04:06:43+00:00

http://youtu.be/HGEO6ig8WsM

This video sums it up perfectly.

BrunoOh · 2015-09-07T09:41:52+00:00

If you say it while accompanied with a stirring in her snatch, she'll just hamster it away. It's like the Halo effect.

[deleted] · 2015-09-07T15:21:43+00:00

Because everything all boils down to one thing: physical appearance. 95% of your success with women is looks. That is why Chad can get away with it but others can't. If you are attractive, then you can say anything you want.

Bellum00 · 2015-09-07T08:58:27+00:00

Credibility.

RedCML · 2015-09-07T11:35:12+00:00

It has to do with abundance. But it's the opposite cause/effect than most people realize. Being a jerk doesn't mean the girls line up for a ride. It means that Chad knows what he wants, he makes it clear, and if he gets rejected he is onto the next option. Meanwhile the nice guy implies what he wants and hopes for an answer to his unstated request for sexual relations. So he waits 6-12 months before either scoring or deciding to move on with a broken heart (after she's been with CT).

Chad's timeline is quite fast. Let's take a 6 month timeline for example. The nice guy has 1-2 girls during that time period, which he treats like a planted seed that he waters regularly (before Chad eats the fruit). Meanwhile Chad spends maybe 60 minutes per girl. There's so much more time for meeting girls! 4 girls a week means 60 opportunities in that same 6 months. So even if he crashes and burns 95% of the time that's still 1 more success than Mr. Nice Guy.

Their success is sheer volume. Chad gets rejected way more often than Mr. Nice Guy.

Title	Why does acting like a "jerk" work for alpha males but not nice guys?
Author	RomanKorolev
Upvotes	31
Comments	50
Date	September 6, 2015 3:23 PM UTC (10 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/3jv40y/why_does_acting_like_a_jerk_work_for_alpha_males/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/why-does-acting-like-a-jerk-work-for-alpha-males.109 https://theredarchive.com/post/109

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