10 of the MOST Important Lessons…

the_ayatollah · 2011-04-06T21:43:02+00:00

I think a lot of the self confidence thing has to do with the fact, at least for me, that I did not believe that anyone can even like me. Why the fuck would anyone even like/love ME?... That's a pretty fucking damaging question to have in your head.

So how did I overcome it? I wrote down on a piece of paper all the reasons I think someone would enjoy spending time with me... It was a pretty sparse list at first, but I kept updating for a while and I started playing up those items I wrote down in my daily interactions.... After a few weeks I had a full page of reasons why people would like and I was feeling pretty good about myself. Anytime I felt down or insecure I just remembered that list and I shot right back up.

Duckbilling · 2011-04-07T02:19:41+00:00

Alot of the things I have read regarding game lessons were actually learned through personal experience... and quite a few long after I had read them in "The Game"

"To win the game you have to be willing to lose the game…", -"You have to get out of your comfort zone if you want to succeed in game"
My personal favorite "TAKE A FUCKING CHANCE" - George Carlin

Realize you can't lose anything you don't put on the table, but you can't win much either. Realize the greatest risk is not taking one. If a girl doesn't want to be with you, that is her decision to make, how would you like a girl that you didn't like, desperately trying you to get her to like you? you might reject her, you might accept her. It's each individuals choice, and you must respect and acccept her decision.

the hardest thing is self confidence. basically, realize that it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks of you and your decisions, they are yours to make. If they don't like you then that is their problem. they can all kiss your ass. say it, say "they can kiss my ass" out loud right now.

SELF confidence comes from within. It doesn't matter what other people think of you, it matters what You think of You. If you let others define your own SELF worth, well it really isn't your self worth anymore.
I have only recently learned this one. You don't need approval from anyone, anymore, on your decisions/opinons. do not seek it.

Proper body langauge is parallax conveying self confidence
"You have to be the hurricane with the calm in your eye"
Look Everyone in the eye. Do it, you'd be surprised how many people are trying to look you in the eye.
Watch the movie office space - think of the phrase "like a boss" while doing so. Download the song "damn it feels good to be a gangster" by the Geto Boys. Listen, Repeat.
Flirt it up. know the difference between confident and cocky: cocky is throwing your confidence in everyone's face

*Try not masturbating for one week, it gives you supernatural confidence abilities.

also -

Timing. Is. Everything.

I read this on good ol' reddit a month ago: "If you like a girl, flirt with her. Don't write all over her Facebook wall,
don't text her if you aren't flirting. When the time is right, Don't tell her how you feel about her - Just Kiss her" - truer words have nigh been spoken.

Remember, the person most willing to walk away has the most control in ANY relationship. also, if you haven't already, convince yourself you want to be the person in control.

*I had to learn most of these principles through experience by making mistakes, and I guarantee you will make them and walk away KNOWING you are smarter because of it. and only in this way can you grow.

** this post is riddled with quotes with no credits to them at all, and I wish to give credit to all the people whom I have quoted and not credited.

TL;DR - TAKE A FUCKING CHANCE - George Carlin

HumbertHumbertHumber · 2011-04-06T22:20:54+00:00

These kinds of posts really help. I appreciate when you guys post stuff like this. I know you guys might get sick of all the AFCs crowding this place, but it is definitely helping.

having said that, another thing that I want to see addressed... how much will you fail until you get it down pat? I imagine it differs from person to person and you've touched upon taking things personally, but how do you view unsuccessful attempts? what is your mindset at that point? That viewpoint could help me out a bit.

rationalthinker1 · 2011-04-06T21:09:04+00:00

WOW, I gotta work on this. 22 years old virgin who never even got as much as a kiss.

reefed14 · 2011-04-07T00:17:55+00:00

i want to say my biggest thing is taking rejection too seriously, but after reading this, i feel most of these apply to me. thanks

glirkdient · 2011-04-07T04:43:45+00:00

The best thing I realized is that people are really more concerned about what others think of them. Everyone always does this and builds up negative thoughts about what they think others think. In reality it doesn't matter. You won't be perfect and will screw up. Don't take it serious and just laugh at yourself. Everything is much easier when you stop caring so much and just love to be yourself.

golden_eternity · 2011-04-06T23:48:12+00:00

To win the game you have to be willing to lose the game

Shit, I just lost The Game.

QoolNQalm · 2011-04-06T22:40:04+00:00

What I learned is to just keep smiling.... just keep smiling

goobersmooch · 2011-04-07T00:24:00+00:00

Lol @ the notion that Ed hardy will make you look tough.

justinw05 · 2011-04-07T03:33:56+00:00

Goddamn you beautiful man. This is a fucking work of art. Hats off to you.

ColinTheWicked · 2011-04-07T00:06:37+00:00

Just lost the game

2011-04-07T00:59:45+00:00

Hear, Hear....

blacksunglasses · 2011-04-07T01:13:16+00:00

but don’t treat her like a slave… unless she wants that…

hahahah cracked me up

Great post btw Def some great start up tips.

thxcinco · 2011-04-07T05:08:17+00:00

I feel like I have been starting to get a bead on the game lately and am in the process of developing an ability to spot out generic personality patterns based on things like interests in music, senses of humor, clothing etc., but I still am hesitant at times: not because I'm necessarily afraid of being shot down by the person I'm trying to reach out to, but more about the attitude shifts that people I interact with on a daily basis might have towards me after. If I was to be rejected by certain people, there would be tremors in my social life that would be felt for a while. For instance, (and I'm not trying to sound like I have a negative attitude, but as you rightly said, rejection WILL occur, so it's definitely worth consideration) if I am embarrass myself multiple times in succession at different instances, depending on how interwoven both my and the person denying me's social lives are, questions as to my worth could possibly arise to any future-prospects of interaction, consequently creating a vicious cycle of rejection. Is there a way to disregard this, or am I already over-thinking it to begin with? hahaha

MaysonNSS · 2011-04-07T13:21:28+00:00

[permanently deleted]

edubation · 2011-04-06T21:53:00+00:00

I'm starting to dislike the 'blanket' posts that give abstract advice. Ever read a woman's magazine? Usually a ton of articles that go like this: "horizontal stripes are out. Instead, try vertical patterns with dark jeans like these from nordstrom" applicable advice--result??? most women look pretty good.

So for some applicable advice about your "women don't like nice guys" part, I'd recommend disagreeing with her something. With the tone of "really...how so?" or "weird.. I thought you would be an x type of girl" (cold reads are always gold). saying "yeah me too" is a classic nice-guy screw up, and she'll end up resenting you.

gottosed · 2011-04-06T23:31:24+00:00

that's all too true. no shity line will help anyone, when you are your non wussy yourself you always own! start now!

iwillnotgetaddicted · 2011-04-07T03:10:56+00:00

Related post from a blog on rational thinking... Just try it: Quantity Trumps Qualilty

edubation · 2011-04-07T05:50:05+00:00

They DON”T like WEAK GUYS.

Good thing I squat and press and deadlift regularly.

contrarianism · 2011-04-07T05:51:19+00:00

great list. many thanks

TakingAGuess · 2011-07-11T15:08:44+00:00

Replying to save

MaysonNSS · 2011-04-06T22:28:12+00:00

Great list.

thekiwifish · 2011-04-07T02:53:57+00:00

To win the game you have to be willing to lose the game…

I just lost the game...

JoeCool888 · 2011-04-06T21:53:47+00:00

"To win the game you have to be willing to lose the game…"

I never knew it was possible to win the game. Not thinking about it isn't "winning" it, it's simply not losing it.

darksonxd · 2011-04-06T23:07:52+00:00

Plain and simple. That's the way!

2011-04-06T23:51:08+00:00

Yessss! Upboat for u!

frogma · 2011-04-07T00:04:17+00:00

[permanently deleted]

tactics · 2011-04-07T14:21:55+00:00

Great empty advice you have here.

Seriously? Confidence? Don't be creepy? Just throw around a few cliches and let the circlejerk jack you off with its upvote reacharound.

Ws_Ws_EVERYWHERE · 2011-04-06T22:55:39+00:00

Women like nice guys...

Umm, no. It just doesn't work.

Title	10 of the MOST Important Lessons…
Author	MaysonNSS
Upvotes	289
Comments	100
Date	April 6, 2011 8:26 PM UTC (15 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/gk6hn/10_of_the_most_important_lessons/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/10-of-the-most-important-lessons.1317114 https://theredarchive.com/post/1317114

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