Adding her on Facebook?

squarehouse · 2012-09-07T17:24:04+00:00

Indicator that OP is infatuated with this girl: He measures HB's to one decimal place.

magicroot75 · 2012-09-07T13:04:45+00:00

Send her a message and see if she adds you?

_GameOn_ · 2012-09-07T15:42:36+00:00

If Facebook really is the only means to contact her, I would do what has already been suggested: send her a message, except one with your number, telling her to text you. Just say "Hey it's Dave, just realised I didn't get your number. I'm <phone number>, text me yours. X"

It's telling, not asking; it's alpha - straight to the point. If she texts back, great, if not move on. I would advise against adding her yourself. If she adds you, for God's sake, get the hell off Facebook chat. Firstly, there is nothing more unattractive than appearing constantly available, and it and SMS (though Facebook especially) are a slippery slope into mindless chatter that does not add value/escalation.

itsmevichet · 2012-09-07T14:26:05+00:00

Well, adding her on Facebook by itself doesn't make you come across as desperate.

But let's face it, you're desperate.

You're making this post - you're desperate.

You're actually REALLY concerned about how this turns out - you're desperate.

You're trying to find the right moves to get it to work out some specific way that you think you'd be happy with - you're desperate.

Get rid of all that.

Fuck adding her on Facebook - like that's some sort of move that guarantees that she'll spend time with you.

Take a risk and ask her out. See where it goes. Make real moves. If she's into you, she's into you. If she's not - well, then she's like most women in the world.

I don't care if you're Don Juan himself - most women aren't into you. It's statistically impossible for even 1 percent of all women on the planet to be into you.

So get over it and ask her out anyway. Worst that happens is that nothing happens.

Just get rid of the desperate clingy vibe and do it. Ask her out.

Edited to make point more clear (and also to get rid of all caps)

SantonioHolmes · 2012-09-07T13:43:55+00:00

[permanently deleted]

preruntumbler · 2012-09-07T15:37:27+00:00

You think too much. This will show in everything you do. Chill out and let things happen. You'll be fine

UnapologeticalyAlive · 2012-09-07T17:41:23+00:00

Just send her a message and ask for her number.

Something like: "Hey HB8.5, did you hear roommate and gf broke up? I was so suprised/happy/sad to hear that because I thought they were such a good/bad/terrible couple! I guess she won't be coming around as much any more. Anyway, I was wondering if you'd be interested in going to the bar/party/jumping off a cliff with me this Saturday. Give me your number and I'll call you to set it up!"

There's no need to beat around the bush and pretend like you're not asking her out. Just fucking go for it. If she's into you like you think, she'll respond with her number. If not, she won't. No big deal if she doesn't. And don't just add her without sending a message. That's passive beta-male bullshit.

RedShirtedAss · 2012-09-07T19:46:29+00:00

If you add her on Facebook, its gotta have purpose. Send her a message, saying you wanted to get in touch again and meet up. If she doesn't respond/blow you off then at least you went out big. Adding her and waiting around for her to do something will not lead to anything.

2012-09-07T17:15:38+00:00

Honestly man, if it was me I just would've added her and started talking, casually commenting on one or two or her statuses or pictures then chatting her up a little bit over IM to get her number. In that case, context would be great to start the conversation. Maybe there's a concert or event soon that you could bring up and ask if she's going and just roll from there. Sounds like you're just over-thinking it -- classic case of analysis paralysis.

TPUBGU · 2012-09-07T17:19:37+00:00

Everyone is overthinking it. If you want to be her facebook friend just add her.

2012-09-07T17:34:15+00:00

The first step in becoming good with girls is not giving a shit about rejection.

If the only way you can contact is via facebook, then fucking do it.

Or you will regret it for the rest of your life wondering why you did not.

And if she does reject you, at least you tried. You will find a lot of comfort in that.

Go fucking do it, and do it now. Stop being a little bitch about it.

Good luck.

highideas · 2012-09-07T16:08:38+00:00

Facebook is a bane to society. It is a tool and I don't like it as a pick up tool because it makes us weak. How did men get women before facebook? By being confident the first time they met the woman. Simple right? Am I saying adding her is wrong? Nope. Does it come off as passive aggressive? You tell me.

So typical to reddit I say delete facebook and create your own destiny. Ask your friend's ex-gf for her contact info or hunt her down yourself. Don't stalk, hunt her down and be confident. "Look, our friends broke up and while that is sad the sadder part is that you don't get to flirt with me anymore. Let's go out and realize our potential" or some other bs. Get it done and report with a FR.

somesortoffluid · 2012-09-07T17:52:38+00:00

I have a real hard time demonstrating value (that I actually have). So I thought of a way to do it without lowering my value even more. This may seem like a real beta way to handle things, but it's worked for me several times in the past:

If you the common friend is really close (a.k.a. you are free to discuss the pickup), ask him/her to post something that is sure to get the attention of your target. Otherwise choose a post that you feel fits the criteria.

Be one of first to comment on said status, and if possible, post something that sparks a conversation -- this will increase chances of you being mentioned, or adding a response later without seeming forced.

The target sees the post and adds you, or dosent.

Why I think this is good/reasoning behind it: if the target does see the post, and adds you, that's usually an IOI right there. Some people just add others on reflex, so don't give too much tought on this though. Also, it gives you a conversational starter if you really have nothing else. (which you always should)

If the target does not add, it really dosent mean anything, and you're free to try and message/add. Don't poke people, seriously, just don't. It makes you look 12, and shows you have nothing at all to say, and just wanted to grab attention. And what does that do to your value?

As a rule of thumb, I never really add anyone on facebook. Most of the times people come to me. Not saying you should follow this, it's just what I do.

But mostly, as it's already been discussed, don't be desperate about it.

TL;DR: Comment things she'll see, and if she is interested, she'll add you. Otherwise, fuck hotter babes. In fact, forget commenting.

Infini-Bus · 2012-09-08T05:46:59+00:00

I don't see a problem with adding people on Facebook. If I meet someone cool IRL and have a chat or two with them, I add them on Facebook. It's turned into something that can be used as a conversation starter among the people I see. If I see that someone posted pictures from a concert, vacation, or posts something interesting or funny, later on or the next day I have something different than "How about that weather?" to start a conversation with. Like "Hey, I saw a couple of your photos from Beaver Island last week. What did you do there?"

Obviously you don't want to use FB as your primary medium of communication.

Title	Adding her on Facebook?
Author	SantonioHolmes
Upvotes	26
Comments	45
Date	September 7, 2012 12:19 PM UTC (13 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/zi3tl/adding_her_on_facebook/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/adding-her-on-facebook.1338837 https://theredarchive.com/post/1338837

Comments