Are You Guys Even Enjoying Yourselves?

hunterpua · 2025-04-04T04:28:27+00:00

If you’re going home seething, furiously masturbating and punching holes in the dry wall, it’s time to take a step back and reevaluate things.

Just because you react this way to being intentional about improving your flirting skills doesn't mean everyone does.

To me your post reads like, "Are you guys even enjoying yourselves when you make it a point to go to gym on a schedule and have goals in mind?"

Why is it that it's totally fine to be intentional and make time for other self-improvement activities but not flirting?

I'm in my 30s too and I'm having the time of my life because of the work I did in my 20s. You know financial freedom, right? I have sexual freedom now.

And by the way, my 20s, when I was more actively working on my game were some of the best years of my life because of all the experiences and growth I achieved in that time.

This is no exaggeration, the person I am now is the result of what I built in my 20s.

My girlfriend and everyone who knows me now, knows a completely different version of me.

The people who only knew me after I improved myself all assume I was always this good with women and people. They assume I was one of the popular kids growing up when in reality I was bullied growing up.

Going back to your issue, first of all, if you can overcome the mental pathology this age of instant gratification is afflicting us all with, you will be able to appreciate the little things much more.

There were many days when I went home grinning ear to ear even though I didn't get anyone's number because I saw that I did better than the day before. I appreciated the progress I was making. Heck, I just appreciated the fact that I was even flirting with attractive women and not getting the cold shoulder or getting laughed at.

I appreciated when my conversation skills got tighter, when my wit got quicker, when my flirting got smoother, when I understood women better, and when I knew what to do to get what I want better.

I even appreciated when I simply got the balls to approach a woman in the beginning. Like literally, just being able to approach multiple women even when I was still too chickenshit to try to get anyone's number made my day very often back then.

And I'd argue those things are more important than just getting numbers, dates, sex, and even relationships, because anyone can stumble into a relationship but if you don't have the ability to replicate that consistently then you're still helpless.

Your life is better only because of the girl, because she happened to give you a chance. You'll always need her. If she leaves, you go right back to shit.

I love the women I've been in long term relationships with, literally. But I didn't need any of them to have an amazing dating life.

I have an amazing dating life because I developed the ability to consistently attract the women I want into my life and I never lost sight of that when I was only making slight improvements to my flirting skills.

I was never confused about the point of those incremental improvements that happened over a few years, I always knew it would lead me to this point if I stuck to it.

This goes right back to my gym analogy. When you start, you don't see any change at all in the mirror for months on end. The only changes you see are in the performance of your lifts. The weight and the reps go up, just like in seduction where your wit gets quicker and your flirting gets smoother.

But if you keep at it, you'll be much better off for it.

The problem you might be having is your mindset. You're not looking at seduction with the same reverence you give something like going to the gym.

You're not looking at it as a necessity. You consider it a burden to proactively make time to work on flirting but you consider it totally normal to proactively make time for the gym.

That's why you jack off and punch holes in the wall.

Give seduction much more respect and you'll change your life.

Plastic_Friendship55 · 2025-04-04T09:08:32+00:00

My mission is to meet attractive and interesting women and get to know them. Sometimes it leads to a relationship sometimes it doesn’t.

Getting laid is a very natural part of that and I don’t see how that could be a mission.

Quin2020 · 2025-04-04T00:28:12+00:00

Having a "mission" is what I find enjoyable. What sucks is awkwardly waiting around alone in a club not knowing what to do. So I say move quickly.

Western-Month-3877 · 2025-04-04T01:29:36+00:00

What if your mission is to have fun? I mean, having a mission can be enjoyable, too.

I think it all depends on the individual. If you are a type of a person who’s excited to get a goal accomplished by all means go for it. But if you feel that having a mission makes you jittery, then change your perspective/mindset.

MineDesperate2920 · 2025-04-04T00:28:27+00:00

Fun person 100x over

FriendlyWrenChilling · 2025-04-04T02:32:30+00:00

The person who is "better" is the person who can use pickup to achieve his goals. If you are a person with a dire mission to get laid, then your skills should reflect your ability to do so. If you are a person who enjoys being out and having fun with people, then your skills should reflect your ability to do so.

everydayguy_ · 2025-04-04T05:50:09+00:00

I definitely had this “mission mindset” in regards to dating when I was a teen/early 20’s. Everything was about numbers and a means to determine and manipulate the end result.

Looking back at it, it’s ineffective and definitely a reflection of my maturity levels at the time. Good mindset for sports, not so much for dating. The interaction(s) should be the focus not the end result. Yea obviously we all wan’t the end result , but not being too concerned with it is what makes it all flow. Models by Mark Manson explains it well.

Most men work better with a goal in mind. My advice is redirect this ambition and make it your mission to become more attractive. The rest will take care of itself.

MysteryLiezer · 2025-04-04T05:51:25+00:00

It’s easy for the person who simply enjoys being out and having fun with people, to get laid, yet it’s near impossible to enjoy being out and having fun, for the person with a dire mission to get laid.

Furthermore, it’s easy to imagine someone refusing to let sex get in the way of their enjoyment of being out and having fun with people, yet it’s near impossible to imagine someone refusing to allow the enjoyment of being out and having fun with people to get in the way of sex.

That is, if you’re too focused on the fun you’re having to leave for just a fuck, then you’re probably built for this shit!

However, if being too focused on your arousal makes it difficult to have fun, then you should probably just hang it up…

Fantastic-Life-2024 · 2025-04-04T16:24:46+00:00

yes.

Title	Are You Guys Even Enjoying Yourselves?
Author	ChicoBrillo
Upvotes	8
Comments	19
Date	April 4, 2025 12:20 AM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1jqype1/are_you_guys_even_enjoying_yourselves/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/are-you-guys-even-enjoying-yourselves.1548552 https://theredarchive.com/post/1548552

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