So, I'm 34M, and I'm a graduate student, working on a PhD. I started doing the "cold approach" in January 2020. It was kinda like a new year's resolution. Before that, I was skeptical about it, and posted in this subreddit about it. The responses were, basically, "Just do it. And keep doing it, on a regular basis. Try to do 100 approaches in a month."

So I started doing it. Now I've been doing it roughly six days a week, for two months. I still haven't had a cold approach that led to sex yet.

On the other hand, I'm feeling good about online dating game and social circle game, both of which I've been doing for years. There's this one girl that I've been fucking since October. We met through Zoosk. The conversation, the kino, and the kissing are good, she has nice big tits, so I want to keep that going. But I also want to fuck other girls. Hotter girls. This Zoosk girl, I look at her and I think to myself, "I could do better." She's a 6.

It's funny because I've already had sex with a hot girl in the past, 9/10, from applying seduction techniques in social circles. But now I want to explore this idea of talking to beautiful strangers. It's new territory for me, but I know it works for other men, and in fact it might be the ultimate point of this whole subreddit. My understanding is that I have to do it for months to get good at it. I have to do thousands of approaches. I'm gonna try to make a post at the end of every month.

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Terminology:

Now that I've actually done it for two months, I feel that the term "cold approach" is a really bad description. I'm kind of surprised that the term "cold approach" has become so widespread. Instead of saying "cold approach," how about we say "randomly talking to people."

Here's some reasons why I don't like the phrase:

  1. The word "cold" can mean that you're not showing emotion. Like, giving someone the cold shoulder. And you really shouldn't be cold when you start a conversation with a new person. You should be warm! Be polite. Be friendly. Smile. Be a gentleman

  2. The word "approach" doesn't always apply. Sometimes I don't literally approach the girl. I just start a conversation with a girl who's already standing/sitting near me. In fact, those are the ones that are easier to do. Some of my conversations were girls standing behind me in a checkout line or cafe line. Another one was a girl sitting at the table next to me at a coffee shop. So in those cases I didn't literally approach the girl. (On the other hand, there have been cases where I saw a girl from far away, and then I walked over to her and started a conversation. So yes, that is an approach.)

If I say "randomly talking to people," that's just a better description of what I'm doing. I'm not just talking to cute girls, I'm randomly talking to all kinds of people, everywhere. That's what you have to do, right? Have social interactions with guys, girls, older women, older men, girls you're not attracted to. Become a more social person. Become more socially intelligent. Observe people. Read their body language. If their body language is right, start a conversation with them. Talk to them. Listen to them. Get to know them. Look them in the eye. Have meaningful conversations with them. And eventually, that will lead to sex with hot girls. Correct me if I'm wrong.

But anyway, I'll still use the term "cold approach" in this post, because everybody knows what I'm talking about.

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February - cold approaches:

Monday through Friday, in the mornings, before work, I've been going to coffee shops on Main Street, which cuts through my college campus. Also, on my lunch break, I'll usually stop at four different places and talk to people. I've basically figured out the places on Main Street that are most likely to have cute girls:

• Brew Haha (local coffee shop)
• Starbucks
• Honeygrow and Roots (cafes that serve healthy food)
• Campus bookstore
• Health food store
• 5 & 10 (store that sells clothing and office supplies)

I also randomly started conversations with cute girls that I saw, just standing inside buildings on campus.

Saturdays, Sundays, and weeknights after work, I've been going to the mall, and randomly starting conversations with girls there.

This is one of the big changes for me, personally. Just getting out of the house more often. In 2019, I would just go to my office and lab, and go home. Sometimes I would spend an entire weekend at home. But in 2020 I've actually been going out a lot. Naturally, there's a connection there, if I get out of the house more often, I'll also have more sex.

In January, I didn't number-close on any random strangers. But then, in February, I number-closed four strangers. So that's progress. I guess I had number-close anxiety. But then I looked up some info about it, and learned that you shouldn't ask a question, you should make a statement. So my line is:

"You seem really cool. Let me get your number."

It's not so good to say it as a question, like "Can I get your number?"

But, even though I number-closed four girls, all of them just fizzled out. Oh well. I'm ready to let go of all four of them and meet new girls in March.

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February - social circle game:

I'm taking yoga classes and there's always girls there. I went to an event at Creative Labs in Baltimore; they're basically a bunch of artists who like to party, and I talked to girls there. I went to the VDC (Venture Development Center) which is a community on campus to discuss entrepreneurship.

For me, the "cold approach game" and the "social circle game" are now intertwining in my mind. At all these social events, I'm becoming bolder and bolder, just randomly starting conversations with girls, even if I know nothing about them. If it's my first time talking to that girl, that's basically a "cold approach."

Meanwhile, if I'm in a coffee shop, and I start talking to a woman, you might call that a cold approach.
But there's a whole bunch of people who visit that coffee shop regularly, and we all order from the same menu, and isn't that just another social circle? A really big extended circle with dozens of people in it. And in that context it's natural for me to say to a woman "What kind of coffee is that?" even if we've never met before.

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Numbers and rates:

Some guys on this subreddit have said, "100 approaches in a month." "30 to 50 approaches in a week." I haven't been able to do it at that high of a rate. My approach rate was more like 60 approaches in January, and 60 in February. So that boils down to about 15 approaches in a week.

Maybe this is because I live in a suburban area, not a city. So, lower population density. (That makes me think, maybe I should move to a city and I'll get laid more.)

Also, there were some days this month when I did zero approaches. There was one day when I felt sick, and stayed home from work, and didn't do any approaches that day. Also, there's the girl that I've already been fucking since October. I hung out with her four days this month, and I didn't do approaches while I was hanging out with her.

Also, how do you count? If I only count the attractive women that I cold-approached this month, then it was about 60. If I count EVERYONE I talked to this month, guys, girls, older women, older men, extended social circles, online dating, then yeah it was about 100 people.

But anyway, I'm gonna keep doing it. This kinda reminds me of when I was 15 and I started playing the guitar; for the first year I wasn't good at it, but I stuck with it, I took lessons, and then by age 16 I actually had skills.