Curious lady here: How often do men use "passive aggressive" pick-up techniques? (ex: brushing up against a woman but not saying anything) Are there a lot of passive aggressive pick up techniques?

bluehat9 · 2012-08-06T17:04:02+00:00

There is definitely something about "beta" guys just sort of "hanging around" girls that they are interested in. They will try to make themselves visible, ex. walking by 6 times to go use the bathroom. They might walk by and drop something near the girl. Anything to make the girl look over at them, maybe then they will say hi. It's basically a really pussy way to try to get a girls attention. Girls are much more likely to use these techniques, but that doesn't stop guys from trying too.

2012-08-06T16:47:09+00:00

I think you are right about those guys wanting to have some contact with you, maybe to get a reaction, so they had an excuse to talk to you.

These guys sound like what the pick up artist community have dubbed AFC's: Average Frustrated Chump.

Tenmagnet · 2012-08-06T19:13:12+00:00

What you're describing is not a pickup technique, it's the absence of pickup technique.

But yes, they probably did it on purpose.

LlsworthToohey · 2012-08-06T21:16:02+00:00

Once I was in line to get on a plane, there was a thing on the wall with information about a plane or something that caught my eye and I honest to god accidentally stumbled into someone in front of me.

This person turned out to be a fairly attractive (sorry no idea how to properly implement the "HBX" stuff)young lady. I said "oops I'm sorry I didn't mean to do that" and she replies with "suuuure you didn't!" all playfully and gives me a big smile. I decided to just go with it at this point, but was so not ready for it that I kind of the conversation slowly die until I found my seat and sat down, thankful it was over.

Long story short, if the girls feels like being picked up I don't think it matters how you initiate contact. I didn't mean to bump into her, but it clearly would of worked if I had the balls to pursue it.

As for hands brushing your butt, that's pretty plainly sexual harassment I think?

darkhorse85 · 2012-08-06T17:00:10+00:00

Passive aggressive, plausible deniability. Tomato, tomato. Potato, potato.

paulgualtieri · 2012-08-07T06:06:22+00:00

I never do. I will sometimes sit near a girl I'm interested in, but I will actually talk to her in a minute or two and I won't be randomly touching her. Usually though, I just start talking to them right away.

I could see guys doing that though. I wouldn't call it "passive aggressive pickup." I'd call it "copping a feel."

BGraceful · 2012-08-06T16:45:55+00:00

There is no such thing as a passive aggressive pick-up technique. If someone is trying to "pick you up" (btw that phrase sounds dated and lame as fuck) you would know about it. Bars are crowded. I bump and brush into everyone, it doesn't mean I'm trying to bang them.

oderint_dum_metuant · 2012-08-06T19:21:49+00:00

Are there a lot of "passive aggressive" pick up techniques?

No. 99% of the people who try to be more outgoing and open in social situations are trying not to do things like this.

I can't say I've ever heard of anyone trying to touch people passively, although I think I was fondled by a mexican on a bus once. Was the bar crowded?

psyocal · 2012-08-07T05:52:25+00:00

That's more of a female thing to do. Guys will most likely stand there quietly and stare from a far while pretending not to notice you. And they are pretty bad at reading the female passive aggressive 'techniques'

throwaway59393 · 2012-08-07T14:24:02+00:00

I do sometimes, but I consider it more passive (in the sense of me not thinking about it) than passive-aggressive. A lot of times I unintentionally flirt just because my natural body language does so for me. If there's a girl at the bar, I may put my hand on her arm or her side and ask her if I can get past her to get a drink. I'm not flirting, but you might take it as I am.

Anonymous ass grabbing is passive aggressive as fuck, though. Not to mention something only a total creeper would do.

ZeroCool2u · 2012-08-06T17:01:42+00:00

Nah, bro.

2012-08-07T03:19:20+00:00

I once walked by a girl in the bar who was having a conversation with another guy. I put my left hand in such a way that it would run across her sexy stomach when I went by. I looked her in the eyes and walked away to use the men's room. Later that night I took her home. Does that answer your question?

Naga14 · 2012-08-07T04:43:32+00:00

Are you hot? That will probably answer the question.

Manny_Rize · 2012-08-06T18:39:19+00:00

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HolePunch66 · 2012-08-06T16:39:48+00:00

This is new to me, but it sounds kind of douchey. Next time it happens, you should flip out on the guy.

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