I asked someone out for the first time in my life !

idk_anything999 · 2022-10-21T04:01:51+00:00

Look positive side mate you just asked her that's still better than guy who just think about her and don't approach. Wish u luck for future.

The_Wisest · 2022-10-21T05:10:40+00:00

Do this 50 more times and it will become like second nature. Remember, you’re one failure away from success. And at the end of the day, a girl is not gonna fall in your lap if you don’t have the balls to approach and make a move. Also, always escalate if you do succeed, don’t be that guy who gets friend-zoned.

you see some pretty girl, approach within 3 seconds

just say “3..2..1 GO,” just start walking towards her as if someone got a gun to your head and say the opener

Good luck my g

gideon1706 · 2022-10-21T03:23:28+00:00

Rejection sucks! If you can find a way to embrace it and never let it bother you, you’ll win.

creativedave73 · 2022-10-21T06:11:32+00:00

That's great! I didn't ask my first girl out until I was 19. She was a co-worker and I slipped a very long(probably cringy) letter in her mailbox. She called me the next day and told me she was sort of seeing someone but thanked me for asking her out and said maybe we could go out as friends sometime.

A year or so later, I think she changed her mind but I was into someone else and was oblivious to the signals she was sending. This was 30 years ago and I've learned so much.

The thing I've learned, unless you want to settle for women with low self esteem(and you don't), you have to create attraction before you ask them out and well into your first date.

It sounds like you were a random guy at the gym approaching the cute employee. You just asked her out without creating attraction.

Google how to create attraction in a conversation and life in general. You want to be the guy all the straight women want to be with sexually, and all the men want to hang out with. Basically a rock star.

gillmanblacklagooner · 2022-10-21T07:13:49+00:00

One day at a time, boy! Congrats!

softoy · 2022-10-21T15:06:25+00:00

Yep, go do it again, get better.. One thing I have learned is that I never regret asking but I will always regret not asking and putting myself out there. I may think "o that could have gone better for xyz reason" but thats learning and improving.. I do remember and regret the girls I never tried with though. My dad once told me " when your an old man sitting in your rocking chair on your porch, your regrets are what will eat you alive".

maxpossimpible · 2022-10-21T15:58:59+00:00

It's much better if you build up some rapport before you ask her out.

Key is to know what's going on in your city, different types of activities... Then you can ask her "What do you like doing on your spare time"? And if she says something like dancing you can say "Oh, there's this dance thing going on at X, I'm going, would you like to come?"

So like, Art exhibitions, dance places, live music, pub quizzes, some sport activity maybe...

Of course you have to know 5-6 different things that are going on in your city of different kinds... I know but... proper prior planning prevents piss poor performance 😅

Jadiv · 2022-10-21T06:13:24+00:00

Well done. It doesn’t matter if she said yes or no. You were polite and respectful. Moreover you reacted perfectly.

Bravo and thanks for being a good sport about it.

UnifiedField9000 · 2022-10-21T07:44:01+00:00

Well done!

Professional_Ad_78 · 2022-10-21T13:18:08+00:00

Great job! Make sure to process what you learned. And go do it again with 3 new girls! Repetition is the mother of skill. A few months of this, and you’ll have a great girl in your life, and the confidence that she wants in a guy.

lookinformyglasses · 2022-10-21T13:27:51+00:00

I love you for thinking about it like that, so happy for you

Raphael1758 · 2022-10-21T15:29:14+00:00

Ur the man !!! Keep it up dude i recently started aswell im now too 5 girls ive asked out ! You cant catch fosh if you dont go fishing 😉 and for me even if i got told "i got a boyfriend" just the feeling of winning a "fight" against my head/toughts was such a relief !!

InjurySoggy4482 · 2022-10-21T15:56:25+00:00

You could have said meet me at such and such a place after you finish. If she showed any signs of interest she was testing you

chasingsukoon · 2022-10-21T16:06:45+00:00

Now u will never think "what if". Grats

b00stlee · 2022-10-21T17:33:15+00:00

You miss every shot that you don’t take. I don’t ask 9.5 times out of 10 and those were all missed opportunities for me. Be thankful that you had the courage to even do so and who knows—she might reconsider.

F-ORKI · 2022-10-21T17:51:21+00:00

Congrats 👏🏻Reminds me the first time I asked a girl out at the gym. I did not care about the answer. I was just so proud of me 😂

sinhaanip · 2022-10-21T10:21:40+00:00

Brilliant mindset.. dude. Next time you see her, ask how was the house tour. And if she doesn’t prefer coffee, go for the wine 😅

JohnnyMnec · 2022-10-21T14:22:33+00:00

Hey I loved your attitude! Also no need to feel bad as you need to ask girls out to have dates, and if you ask them out you're going to hear these excuses/unpleasant replies sometimes.

As a tip to consider: change the order of these questions and rephrase them as "hey it was nice talking to you, maybe we can do a coffee or something sometime" and if she's like yes, then you can ask about when.

Edit: Another way to ask/imply in this situation would have been "actually, it would have been nice to go for a coffee with you, but I'm busy today". Then you can see if she picks the idea up.

nfornear · 2022-10-21T15:26:05+00:00

Only thing I would change next time (if you actually said it like that) is maybe to say more; would you like to grab xxx instead lf I want to take you out. Feels more non pressure

lqtys · 2022-10-21T15:30:10+00:00

I don't think that was a rejection, it sounds legit.

And remember, rejection is never permantent.

vecaye · 2022-10-21T15:55:38+00:00

Well done man fr

justseny · 2022-10-21T17:26:04+00:00

If it makes you feel better, I asked a coworker out to coffee in the middle of our shift. She kinda paused for a moment and said “…yeah…” like she was uncomfortable and didn’t talk to me much after that.

Failure is just a lesson…

ctrain6676 · 2022-10-21T17:53:50+00:00

Failure is not rejection. Failure is not trying in the first place. Great job.

- Eloquence

bobbiesbunions · 2022-10-21T18:16:04+00:00

This should be the mindset people have when they are rejected

It’s not the end of the world and not everyone’s going to see the value you have. Everyone values different things. So many people don’t realize that

And look now you’ve learned from this experience

All positives here

KnackPaddyWack · 2022-10-21T18:52:59+00:00

First off kudos for having the drive to ask her out. Second it’s always helpful to BUILD rapor with someone before you ask them to do something. Think: would an average person want to spend time with a total stranger? Not really. Next time you see her or any other girl you like, be sure to get to know her first. Ask her what she likes, hobbies, etc.

worthyOfMordor96 · 2022-10-21T19:01:11+00:00

Better than my first this, she didn't even look up from her phone.

I probably dodge a bullet with her

Ok_Abbreviations2264 · 2022-10-21T19:30:15+00:00

That’s the spirit …. As someone who was also rejected recently I love op ‘s mentality

Smart_Entrance_1022 · 2022-10-21T20:55:12+00:00

Unlucky g

DrinksAreOnTheHouse · 2022-10-21T21:30:47+00:00

Keep going.

Unusual-Proceedure · 2022-10-21T23:14:10+00:00

Great. You are one step closer to find the one who will say "yes". Eventually.

SoonerFB916 · 2022-10-22T06:25:35+00:00

Good for you!

If I ask someone out and they reject me politely. At least I walk away knowing she gets a little ego boost that someone liked her.

If someone rejects me in a crappy manner, I walk away and think to myself “boy I sure am glad I dodged that bullet”

Keep shooting your shot.

BestAdviceYouCanHave · 2022-10-21T11:24:27+00:00

Rejection is just appetiser my man! It doesn’t say anything about you most of the time. A lot of times it can be the right girl just wrong time. Keep goin!

artofmajic · 2022-10-21T21:10:54+00:00

Now take this as a learning lesson and maybe strike up a convo before asking. Seems like she was uninterested cause nothing was said prior. But good job at doing the action. More of these and you won’t even care if a girl rejects u. Lol I should be taking this advice myself 😅

cormacru999 · 2022-10-22T01:17:33+00:00

I have a suggestion for all men, that is based on women's experiences. Men already understand some of it, but they tend to have distorted interpretations of it. Women, from the time they are children to their old age, are bombarded by men's attention & desire. They often have all sorts of what you might call "hacks" to deal with men noticing them & talking to them, whether its a man that is attracted to her or threatened by her in a work setting, or other situations.

When they are doing their laundry, working out, working at their job, reading a book, riding the subway or bus, walking down the street, & so many daily life activities, they are often constantly already aware of the men around them because there can be both harassment, even if its from good intentions, or legitimate danger.

They don't want to be asked out in any of those situations & when men ask them out or try to chat them up, now they have to worry about the consequences of how they respond. You were decent, you took the hint & left. But what if you got offended or angry, what if you caused a scene? What if you decided to try to get her fired? What if you decided to wait outside for her shift to end? Women never know what kind of man is asking.

Men often perceive this in male terms, with thoughts like hey, if some hot chick asked me out at work, I'd be happy! But that is both not inherent true, what if you weren't attracted to her, or what if you could get in trouble at work? But men also often don't really have an idea of what women's experiences are & so they see things as men, with a man's perspective.

There are spaces where asking someone out is culturally normal, like a bar or club & there are dating apps. Or, if you naturally develop a relationship with a class mate or coworker, that's fine. Women DON'T want to be asked out in all these other spaces.

rumblingtummy29 · 2022-10-22T02:42:14+00:00

Yay good on you mate 👍

Darkwand777 · 2022-10-22T04:01:48+00:00

good for you mate! you have taken your first step into a wider world :D trust me, it doesn't matter if she said no or not...women want the kind of man who can be brave, who aren't afraid to go for what they want, that can show courage and confidence. And you are well on your way to acquiring both :D

ShameAffectionate15 · 2022-10-22T04:09:10+00:00

nah u should have asked what you're doing after or something. Most girls beat around the bush to not sound "desperate". She might have said yes.

-happydagger- · 2022-10-22T04:53:48+00:00

Yeah it didn’t sound like a hard no to me. You could have worked with it a little more and built some rapport in the process. Like just follow up with something: “oh that’s cool do you do real estate on the side or something?” or “what are you in a band?” or “listen…we both know how boring house tours can be…so….I mean it’s up to you but…” Also agree with not making it so formal as “take you out” but more “I’m gonna grab some coffee if you’d like to tag along…” kind of vibe.

2022-10-22T11:33:09+00:00

On behalf of women,your approach seems pretty perfect my friend.Good luck for the future.

Repulsive-Fee393 · 2022-10-23T19:46:09+00:00

Shoulda pushed the bitch off the wall 😂 I’m kidding, good for you for not internalising it.

Title	I asked someone out for the first time in my life !
Author	gideon1706
Upvotes	309
Comments	75
Date	October 21, 2022 3:04 AM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/y9i1gg/i_asked_someone_out_for_the_first_time_in_my_life/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/i-asked-someone-out-for-the-first-time-in-my-life.1248021 https://theredarchive.com/post/1248021

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