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[–]ReorgAtty 34 points35 points36 points 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Your first line is that your dad didn’t tell you shit, but based on your second para it sounds like he gave you some really solid advice.
I think dating is so culturally informed that it’s almost impossible for one generation to give detailed advice to another. They didn’t grow up in the society were in now; dating and relationships are so, so different today than in our fathers’ generation. They just don’t know what it’s like. Do you think you could give detailed advice to someone from your father’s generation when he was your age? No cell phone, no apps, no internet, no pictures. Just Mary Sue who smiles at you at church or whatever.
Instead, I think fathers should teach sons (by example) how to be men. That will always be the foundation of talking to girls. It sounds like your dad did that.
Never, ever, should anyone say, under any circumstances whatsoever, to whom ever, “listen young fella, I know you’re horny.”
[–]serialkiller_mne 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Lmao idk if you understood me bruh, he did give me advice in a way, but I was too young to understand some things and he was too old to know how younger generations vibe and communicate, and frankly it is no big deal. He did have a policy that I should figure some things out myself, and if I struggled for too long he was there to help.
And like I said, I'm glad he didn't give me any long talks about it, I am more authentic this way, not acting according to someone's script. Also, we are quite different in personality and status (comparing us in the eame age).
As for the horny talk cmon dude... unless your dad is a pedo, nothing wrong with saying it (at least in our culture). I mean he bathed and changed your dipers so idk here it's normal for older men in family to ask you if you get any pussy once your balls drop. Sometimes they do it just to troll you, sometimes they offer to take you to hookers... Balkans
[–]ReorgAtty 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Lmao did you just say I didn’t understand you and then repeat my points that (1) he did give you advice and (2) that specific advice is difficult to give across a generational gap?
Busting your balls on the horny stuff.
[–]JanetInSC1234 10 points11 points12 points 4 years ago (14 children) | Copy Link
It takes a really astute dad to give valuable dating advice to his son...most wouldn't know how. One thing I wish dads would impart to their sons is a little sexual know-how about satisfying a woman in bed. Too many young guys have absolutely no clue how a woman's body and mind works.
On the other hand, my mom never gave me any advice about dating or how to pleasure a guy.
[–]serialkiller_mne 4 points5 points6 points 4 years ago (8 children) | Copy Link
That would he a very awkward talk with the old man. So this is how you bang mom right? 🤣
But yeah, could be useful, although fucking isn't that complicated.
[–]JanetInSC1234 3 points4 points5 points 4 years ago (7 children) | Copy Link
Great movie scene with Alan Arkin. He opens a book with an anatomical illustration of a woman and says to his teenaged son, "See that right there? Rub that and you will make her purr."
[–]serialkiller_mne 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link
Imagine eating lunch and your dad starts explaining the deed using food at the table and your mom nodding in approval
Would be a bit less weird idk
[–]JanetInSC1234 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link
Yeah, okay, nightmarish. Don't do it like that.
[–]serialkiller_mne 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
Hey there is a worse scenario!
"Watch how mom and I do it and pay attention"
[–]JanetInSC1234 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
Monty Python had a scene like that. ;)
[–]serialkiller_mne 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
I promised a friend I will watch it for a 100 times but maybe today I fulfill the promise. If it includes parents traumatizing children by fucking while they watch, that is my type of humor
[–]JanetInSC1234 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Actually, it was the professor and his wife at a boy's prep school.
In the meantime, you need therapy, dude. Seriously.
[–]serialkiller_mne 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Lmao probably, but I feel ok 🤣
[–]dons90 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
It'll probably take a major culture shift in many places to have parents giving their children sex advice. I also wouldn't really recommend it until they're adults honestly. Otherwise I think you'd subconsciously encourage them to go have sex as youngsters which creates many more problems.
But, then they get their advice from their peers, which is usually awful advice. And sons need to know about enthusiastic consent and preventing pregnancy.
[–]dons90 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
I totally get that, and that's definitely worse. I think parents should definitely talk to their kids about it, but also make them really understand all the numerous risks involved with early sex. STDs and babies sometimes don't get the statistics attached with them, so people tend to ignore the reality that exists out there.
E.g. Most forms of contraception have less than a 90% success rate. Herpes is more common than people think, and you live with it forever, though meds can control the spread. Having a sex life can be costly to be safe.
Perhaps with that type of information, fewer kids will get into that kind of lifestyle too early without researching somewhat.
Yes, STDs can be life-long. Kids need to know this.
[–]JanetInSC1234 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
My friend got a girl pregnant when he was 12 years old.
As soon a kid hits puberty, they need guidance.
[–]JF803 5 points6 points7 points 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
I have my first on the way and I will absolutely be teaching him. The fundamentals never change. Presence, projecting intent, taking action. My dad was/is a charismatic guy, I picked up on that growing up and was pretty natural with girls but game fascinated me and took me to another level, I hope my son is open to learning and comfortable enough to talk to me about it when the time comes.
[–]serialkiller_mne 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Good luck to the young unborn man, glad to hear this
[–]JF803 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
And you my friend
[–]cradlesong 5 points6 points7 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
You should teach your kids to be assertive, emotionally attuned and how to have flexible boundaries. Most "game" is just folk-psychology/self-help for people with sub-optimal early childhood relationships with their parents or primary caregivers.
[–]jackedsoon 6 points7 points8 points 4 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
All parents should do is keep their child outside/social and introduce them to sports/lifting early.
“Game” is just personality. If ur indoors all day youll have no game
You can talk to them about dating later on in early teen years.
[–]MO_drps_knwldg 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Great life advice. I played tennis half heartedly in high school, but was never really dedicated to a sport or social activity. Didn’t discover martial arts until my 30’s. Wish I had taken up boxing or another martial art in my teens.
My son is still small, but have him in a tumbling class, to socialize with other boys and learn to be physical. He really enjoys it. Hope to introduce him to marital arts in a year or so, but ultimately whatever he’s interested in.
Being involved in sports and activities Is so crucial to learning about conflict, cooperation, and general social skills. I wish I had dedicated myself to a specific skill or sport when I was younger.
[–]jackedsoon 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
good on you for keeping him active and developing his social skills. he'll be thankful for sure!
Some people are social but struggle dating because some underlying issues. Agreed about sports tho, I won't create fatass slobs
[–]CompetitionFair7686 30 points31 points32 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Yes you should. Specially when they will continue to try to deconstruct masculinity and make men little submissive bitches with all this progressive bullshit agenda, they will need more than ever a role model that teaches them how to pull girls.
[–]serialkiller_mne -1 points0 points1 point 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Yeah, I mean men are more likely to lose respect if they are sensitive. Surely, I would make sure my son doesn't become a pussy, but I was mostly aiming for the game question.. like here's how boys and girls think, here are the mistakes you make, here is how I think you should change your approach etc. But not to take my words like scientific principles, I'm not right about everything and he may figure it better himself. Just being there for your son as a friend that he can always count on whatever he faces. Especially in teen years, as hormones, insecurities and confusion sucks ass
My dad was there to make sure I stand up for myself, fight back, to make sure I behave well, to not be afraid to say what I think, not to let anyone manipulate me, because that stuff is eternal. Sure, he probably can't tell me how to hit up an egirl on instagram, but he didn't let mom make me into a spoiled pussy like most moms will do, despite their best intention 😂
[–]pebblefromwell 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Absolutely, the only advice my dad gave me was that if I was not careful a girl will claim rape on me. I did not touch a girl till I was 20 I was so scared of them. Great advice from the old man!
[–]EthicalSeduction 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Absolutely! Because we are all in this together trying to improve our lives as well as those around us. Seduction is not about "taking" but about teaming up and finding win/win opportunities.
[–]aidsjohnson 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Yeah I wish I had some guidance regarding that. Will never understand how my father was able to get a wife, and here I am in 2022 an incel lmao. It’s fucking pathetic.
Sorry for that. But even if he tried, doesn't guarantee you it would help. Dating, getting a job, buying a home and many other things were different or simply easier back then. Don't give up on yourself tho, nobody can help you if you do it
[–]aidsjohnson 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Thanks bro
[–]Rastaman143 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
They already do bro, a masculine attractive role model father will raise a attractive son. For example you know jocks portrayed in movies usually the dad was a jock when he was younger or played football etc. Naturally attractive guys most likely had a role model father or a attractive father figure. These guys usually have no problem getting women if they decide to go PUA, I doubt they’d have much problems.
Idk Jocks are an American teen movie thing. Here you have guys that make Shrek look like a Greek God. But they are fucking tough, ruthless and generally respected. They don't even have to be rich, but even their bulldog looking sons will have a good status by being raised by them. These people will always leave offspring, and to be fair, most men here are like that. That is Balkan for you
[–]notarealpersondw 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Dad was a ladykiller back in his day I had only recently found out. He didn’t tell me SHIT. Had some girl issues growing up but ended up figuring it out and doing well.
I think fathers shouldn’t tell their sons how to pick up ladies because it’s super uncomfortable and weird imho. What fathers should do is encourage, demonstrate and show their sons how to be healthy (lift/run and sports), good men, do practical manly shit and having an improvement mindset etc. this will set up a boy not only to be good with women but great at life.
True, like in chess, first moves you make are damn important for the endgame.
[–]YourDustyLampshade 5 points6 points7 points 4 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
Yes. Absolutely. You are doing your son a major disservice by not teaching him how women are and how to talk to them and what he needs to look out for when determining which woman he should pursue and steer clear of.
[–]serialkiller_mne 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
True, gotta teach him about red flags asap. Same as with daughters. Don't want them pregnant at 15 by a 23 yo weed dealer
[–]YourDustyLampshade 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Expanding on this. The most valuable thing a man can teach his son is how to be completely in tune with himself. Never, at any point in his life, should a man feel that he NEEDS a woman. Too many guys out there are chasing after that one certain woman because they feel she’s the only one giving him some sort of special attention, and believes that she is the only one capable of doing so. She makes me feel a certain way and I need her because of it. What you need is to respect and be content with yourself. You don’t need a woman, you want a woman. When you know exactly what it is you want from a woman, you will get exactly that. You just have to pursue it. And that is just what women love the most, a man who knows what he wants and how to get it, nothing else matters.
Learning that your happines is within and not dependant on having a partner or whatever is what many people gotta understand.
I know some people (guys mainly) that are depressed about being single while not having a crush or romantic interest... even if they did it is immature, but hearing my buddy whine about not getting cuddles and girl stroking his hair... sounds bad
[–]negroewebster 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Ideally yes but women have changed so much in one generation. The only way to learn more about seduction is to approach more
Men and women changed quite a bit
[–]Happypappy213 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I would just lay it down as practically as I can. Failure is inevitable but you can always learn from it. Always.
Your personal attempts to better yourself socially put you ahead of so many people.
You gain nothing from focusing on those who don't work for their success.
Be well read. Travel. Have hobbies.
[–]aquilaruspante1 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
I know a guy who was taught by his dad who was a player himself. He lost his virginity when he was 12 and amongst all the girls he knows if he hasn't fucked them it is because he chose not to. I know a couple of times he had fmf threesomes too.
[–]FaithInStrangers94 11 points12 points13 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
He lost his virginity to his dad when he was 12?
[–]WalidfromMorocco 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Lost his virginity at 12? What did his dad tell him, go and ask your 12 years friend to have sex with you?
[–]h7hh77 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Damn it, what is it that they do different? There must be something. My dad was kind of like that himself, but he died too early for me to get any knowledge about all of that.
[–]aquilaruspante1 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
He is the most confident person I've ever met, whenever he met a new girl he was hitting on her straight away, from the first interaction. He was saying stuff like "you didn't tell me you had a so hot friend" and stuff like that while at the same moment showing he didn't care at all. He was continuously the centre of the attention, super funny and entertaining, super cocky and super direct with women. He was doing kino from the first second and almost always k close on the same night she met someone new. He even fucked his landlady once and the mum of his school mate. I've never seen anyone else like him
[–]beveragegod 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
no wonder i suck, i grew up with my grandma
[–]thewildweird0 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Parents have a way of delivering the harshest news in ways we can bare. Some of use really need to be told we are an annoying, smelly, awkward, little bitch and that’s okay we can work on that. Honest vulnerability is really rare among men. Anytime we aren’t afraid of offending someone we are terrified as coming off as soft hearted.
[–][deleted] -3 points-2 points-1 points 4 years ago (8 children) | Copy Link
No they should not
[–]serialkiller_mne 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (7 children) | Copy Link
Why do you thinks so?
[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link
Who would want a son chasing skirt
[–]Vigeto619 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link
Fathers do. Mothers dont.
[–][deleted] 3 points4 points5 points 4 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
Maybe it varies from culture to culture. Fathers here want their sons to have a stable job family and a lot of children.
[–]Vigeto619 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
And you get a lot of children by doing what?
[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
a lot of children under marriage
Not chase skirt, but simply teach their sons not to simp and to have some charm idk. Also to teach them not to be creepy dudes that give rape vibes, I bet lot of women would feel relieved in that case
[–]ContWord2346 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
You still have to pull is what he’s saying. Even if it’s an arranged marriage you still need game to stay in the situation.
[–]seanfergusonlf 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Most of it is raising your children to be confident teens with high self-esteem who value themselves. That alone will put them in the top 10%. The other parts are dressing and grooming well, being active, and having goals and hobbies. High-value people don't bother learning the sketchier aspects of pickup, they attract others naturally.
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Extremely interesting topic. My personal opinion is that there would be 90% less involuntary lonely guys if fathers did their job right. Career, Fitness, Girls.. most Dad's have no idea of all that.
[–]3boodqt 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
How have you learned game?
[–]Mrstrawberry209 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
My fathers a piece of shit, i've only seen him once when i was 13. So yes, engage with your kids.
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