[deleted by user]

hunterpua · 2022-04-21T08:20:18+00:00

You have made no mention about your social/flirting skills.

You already have some external stuff to you that makes you seem like a good catch but that hasn't been enough to help you so it may be time to improve your ability to communicate and seduce women.

WindJammer27 · 2022-04-21T10:34:27+00:00

Just went to a club, literally talked to every girl

This might be your problem. Women are observant, man. If she sees you butterflying to every girl, the things she takes away from that is that you're looking for some action, and anyone will do so long as she's got a vagina. Generally you want to hang out a bit, pick out the girl or girls you wanna talk to, engage, get their numbers, and then move on. If you want to talk to other women, go to a different location.

saulisdating · 2022-04-21T09:52:14+00:00

You need to get a second opinion from an unbiased source (preferably a friend who you know will be BRUTALLY HONEST with you) about how you come off and what vibe you put out when you’re out there talking and flirting with girls. I suspect you’re doing something very wrong without realizing it.

Also, sometimes it’s possible to do everything right and still fail. That’s life.

Liberaler · 2022-04-21T07:35:46+00:00

Why would you give up? Even if it were harder for you to get what you want, the bottom line is that you still CAN get it. Giving up wont make you happier.
Of course, an ethnically European man will have it easier in the West. But there still will be women present, who you have a chance with. You just have to play the numbers game harder.
The interesting thing about your post is, that you describe your outer appearance in detail, but to not address where your sticking point could be socially. This probably means, that your social skills are not as high as you think, because you also neglect them in real life.
clubs are highly complex social environments, with their own rules and dynamics. Don't underestimate that. There is so much, you can do wrong. A tiny minority will just master the place by their looks. But don't compare yourself to these outliers.

Ambitious-Ice2357 · 2022-04-21T14:51:45+00:00

Sounds like you’re trying to hard. Women can smell desperation and it’s a huge turn off. You need to develop an idgaf attitude and let things flow.

JoeMarron · 2022-04-21T19:13:08+00:00

Approach more women, it's a number's game. There's at least 1 attractive woman on this earth that'll be attracted to you to.

Ok-Professional2756 · 2022-04-21T11:58:17+00:00

You sound whiny and entitled, that’s probably an issue with your attitude that girls also read. So you’ve had a bad night. Try again another time. If you want more specific advice you need to ask more specific questions.

VDKay · 2022-04-21T10:02:42+00:00

Best idea: Take a wing/friend with you and let him observe you and join the convo. Then discuss and let him point out what he thinks you are doing wrong.

About the skin color: it's a self-limiting belief.

And approach more in general. One night at a club is nothing. It could take months of going out consistently to land some dates and ultimately, sex.

Top-Conversation678 · 2022-04-21T10:59:03+00:00

Im a white(skin) male and i find darker skin females more attractive than white skin, its all about perspective my dude

spiderSlayerr · 2022-04-21T19:35:51+00:00

Yea idc if the girl/guy is a model but if she brown or Asian brown or whatever anything other than White I’m not gonna be attracted to you but I’ll talk to you if you want me to. I’m white so I’ll obviously be with a white girl maybe I could choose not to but you have to keep in mind these people you talk to have parents. These parents would be heartbroken if they saw this crap white with non white. Mine would probably just kill me tbh while others may just be hesitant at first. Also fun fact: girls are much much less likely to be attracted to an Asian where as a guy is more likely

slappf3sk · 2022-04-21T09:06:37+00:00

You said you just went to have fun, but still you walk around to chat up every girl there. Did you go by yourself?

okcomput3r · 2022-04-21T14:32:41+00:00

Is the adivce just to get laid? I'll base my response as if it is.

Pick your clubs nights. Some places are very easy to pull, some aren't. It sounds like you're a student at a UK uni correct? Go to whichever club is most popular with students, the night which is most well known (it's usually on a wednesday because that's when sport socials are). At these club nights everyone is absolutely hammered and are a bit looser. If you're trying to pull in upmarket, expensive clubs it's much more difficult.
Try Hinge. It's easier to get laid with these apps then it is in a club IMO. It sounds like you have a lot of interests, you can use these to stand out on your profile. But when you secure the date try not to boast (I know you have only listed your accomplishments just for context in this case) because this is a huge turn off for girls.

Hope this helps

steelmanfallacy · 2022-04-21T15:07:50+00:00

Hard to say based on what you shared, but I think the question that came to my mind was whether you're genuinely curious about other people. If you care about other people and you show interest in them...that usually shows. You talked a lot about you as if that's what other people care about. They don't actually. They care about themselves. So try working on your curiosity.

Chicagoj1563 · 2022-04-21T18:25:54+00:00

Have you thought about trying to go out for the sole purpose of having fun, getting into the moment, and just talking with people? Finding a flow state where you are truly not in your head about anything and just free flowing where you can pretty much say anything to anyone without any worries? Letting go of the outcome, and putting the focus on yourself and how you communicate with people? Being fully present where you thinking mind shuts off? It may sound woo woo, but inner game is a big part of the game.

It sounds like you are reacting to a lack of results, which signals you are invested in the outcome. If you focus on the process of chatting with people and having fun, you may find you can make much more of an impression on people when you first approach. From there you can experiment with high energy, low energy, calibrating to different environments, etc...

One inner game mindset that can help is to also frame each interaction as positive. Just find something you can hang on to, and look at it all as a fun learning experience. Remove any self judgement after each approach. 100%. Remove dependence on the outcome. It's death in game to be reactive to negative outcomes. Easier said than done, but its a shift in thinking.

If you focus on the communication skills itself and accept you are in a learning phase right now, it may release any frustration you are having with lack of results. Especially if you can make it all great fun. Even rejections can be framed as positive.

Learning game is more about reaching waypoints, not using techniques. It's when your beliefs change, that will resonate with how you communicate and people will respond differently.

Elbynerual · 2022-04-21T19:03:20+00:00

You went to a club. The #1 highest competition environment where every guy is obviously trying to pull. Try places where you have waaay less competition and your approaches are going to be more subtle/neutral.

TheChestHairComeback · 2022-04-21T19:39:29+00:00

The best way to “succeed” in a CLUB is to BRING your date to the club.

ResponsibilityKey427 · 2022-04-21T19:56:28+00:00

Lol I love how no asked but what do you look like ?

Particular_Visual531 · 2022-04-21T20:30:29+00:00

I'll be as blatant as possible. You've tried everything you can think of and its hasn't worked, now you want to come here and get an instant pill that will make you attractive to/successful when picking up women. It doesn't work that way, if you're ready to accept its going to take some work, then read below...

So lets go through the blatant advice. You're South Asian, does that mean your shorter than average for London? In western culture Asians and short are both negatives for attraction (due to biology and socialization, can't change that, you can only work on you or your situation) The Asian part is changing with Kpop, korean dramas, etc, short is not. So you need to change the situation. What are the options? 1) go to Asia, 2) go to places where Asians are in abundance (generally this is where you will find women attracted to Asians and shorter girls too) 3) go somewhere with almost no Asians and play the exotic card. Also, Asians are normally slight of build. Make sure your gym routine consists of heavy weights and adequate protein to build muscle. Its the one thing that can help offset attraction to tall.

2) Clubs are the worst places to pick up women. Women in clubs are mostly club girls, they are used to dozens of dudes taking their shot with them every night. Go other places and try your luck at approaches, book stores are great, quiet bars and pubs are decent, meetup groups and other activities are really nice too.

3) you need to understand the cues that you should present to be a high social status male and and the cues that women give when they are interested. This will help you to not have to run around and talk to every girl in a club. Start studying this online, there are many resources available or DM me.

4) you need to practice being social. This is not with girls but with everyone. Just be nice, do nice things for people, at work and in your life, it will help you build a positive social perspective that long term will help with your connections to women.

5) you need to practice dating and learn to be confident in that fact there are actually many women that would love to date you. How do you do this? Set up a tinder and hinge profile. For tinder buy the premium service that lets you know who swiped right on you, hinge its automatic, if they reach out, you know it. Now, flirt with, and ask out every one of those girls that liked you on an app. While you go on these dates your mission is to view them as a practice and think about how you're going to act and how she's going to react. Do reading online about cues for attraction and how to escalate attraction with a women. Use these dates to practice this. Then you'll be ready when the right girl comes along that you really like. Dating and attraction are like any skill or sport, a football player would not expect to win the world cup if he never practiced football in his life, why do people think they can do it with dating?

best of luck, DM me if you want more one-on-one date/attraction coaching.

No-Target2572 · 2022-04-21T21:47:55+00:00

Posting to see rest of thread

hagakurejunkie · 2022-04-21T23:01:05+00:00

How many times have you tried?

I started learning game 20 years ago and I'm still learning.

It's a process. What's the alternative? Sit at home and masturbate to 4chan porn?

Change your venue and try again. Clubs are difficult, I've never had great success at clubs and I was a nightclub bartender for years. I do much better in sportsbars and hipster dive bars.

Title	[deleted by user]
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	30
Comments	61
Date	April 21, 2022 7:00 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/u8hk32/advice_simple_and_blatant_as_possible_please/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/deleted-by-user.1261548 https://theredarchive.com/post/1261548

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