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[–][deleted] 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
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[–]TheRiverOfDyx 3 points4 points5 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
The other guy saying “be toxic” might be saying the same as you, depending on where they draw that line. Telling the truth and living with it because “i want a rotation of girls” might be taken as toxic by girls, but fuck it. Go talk to girls. If I had a dude friend that said I couldn’t have dude friends anymore because I’m bi, I’d flip the fuck out. This is way more free being in a rotation
[–]kenanleman 195 points196 points197 points 4 years ago (9 children) | Copy Link
Dude you realise this is reddit right? Almost everyone on here doesn’t even have one date let alone multiple
[–][deleted] 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]adomede 6 points7 points8 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
😩😭😭😭 so true that I can’t even deny.
[–]adomede 4 points5 points6 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I feel attacked. I think I’ll leave this group…I’ll be back when I start dating.
[–][deleted] 14 points15 points16 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Oof
[–]WomanWhoBets 8 points9 points10 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Reddit has exceptions too brother.
[–]kenanleman 5 points6 points7 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Yeah definitly but the majority not so much
[–]vanityxalistair 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
FR!!
[–]SnooMacarons4180 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Speak for yourself, peasant
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Thanks for the reminder . 🥲
[–]MeWuzBornIn1990 117 points118 points119 points 4 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link
Just be honest with her.
[+]AlphaAlfie1313 -16 points-15 points-14 points 4 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
Best way to kill the attraction is to be honest.
[–]Garrett2497 24 points25 points26 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Best way to die alone is being a douchebag
[–]AlphaAlfie1313 -3 points-2 points-1 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
OP is doing the correct thing. Let's say a man has gotten laid with 20+ women. How is she going to feel special If he says my lay counts been 20 and you'll be number 21. That's a turn off for any woman. Go ahead and try it and let me know how that goes, especially if she's attractive.
[–]ExtremeNihilism -5 points-4 points-3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
NEVER be honest.
[–]vanityxalistair 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
So lying is attractive?
[–]aviator122 59 points60 points61 points 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Attraction is created through honesty and clear intentions. If you just lie to her you're just being a douchebag.
The premise of having a "rotation" of girls only works if each girl knows and is okay with being in an open relationship or fuck buddies. Stay away from the word "casual" either define your terms or end them. You'll be alot happier with yourself when you do
[–][deleted] 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Do you think it's the same for me since I am married and also have a kid 👦?
[–]BostonWeedParty 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Mmm the premise of having a rotation has nothing to do with them knowing about it. in fact before recently, it was very common to not tell the other women about the other girls in a rotation. Only recently did making sure everyone was ok with it, become more of the norm
[–][deleted] 21 points22 points23 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Just tell her “I’m just dating & having fun right now” and leave it at that.
[–]Minute-Lie-2287 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Yep, honest but not specific or detailed.
[–]spicylittlelady 12 points13 points14 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I wouldn’t give her details about the other women you’re seeing. Just tell her you’re keeping your options open and dating around. Tell her you’d like for her to explore her options as well. Be honest and direct. But no need to divulge unnecessary details.
[–]bbglow12 17 points18 points19 points 4 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link
Being honest is hot
[–][deleted] 5 points6 points7 points 4 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link
2nd this. She has the right to know the truth and decide how she feels and moves forward. It’s the most respectful thing to do. Especially when it comes to STDs.
[–][deleted] 4 years ago* (4 children) | Copy Link
[–]coldbrew18 4 points5 points6 points 4 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
If she’s asking, it’s because she’s enjoying her time with him and wants to know his intentions. She has a right to know and if op keeps joking around with her then she’s going to leave.
[–]are_those_real 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
it is her right to know since she has the right to make an informed decision especially when it comes down to her own body. If he chooses to not tell her then he is lying by omission and removing her right to consent and choose what is best for her. If he lies then he's an asshole who is purposefully lying to get what he wants.
Just because something is legal doesn't mean it's ethical or right. All he has to say that he is also seeing other people and reinforcing his original stance that he is looking for something casual. She should also be honest if she's seeing other people too. This can also help keep everyone safe from stds.
[–]Chance_Zone_8150 5 points6 points7 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Be honest. Its that simple. You've been honest so far. She knows the deal or just shut it down with one last honest statement
[–]willgo-waggins 3 points4 points5 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Ok you need an answer from someone in the same situation.
First off while I do not “hide” the fact that I am seeing and fucking multiple women, I also don’t advertise or put it out there. I only have seriously shared that fact with my friend/FWB because we don’t have any jealousy about our individual stuff.
I would have a conversation and revisit things. Find out if she is not comfortable with things and reiterate that you are not having any plans to head into an actual relationship that is exclusive so that way she has a clear opt out if she’s either not ok with it now or wants more.
[–]BostonWeedParty 3 points4 points5 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Best answer don't lie, but don't advertise.
[–]theskptc 14 points15 points16 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
She knows you are not looking for a relationship, I would tell her that I don’t share about my other relationships. (After all, a gentleman don’t kiss and tell)
[–]ant2k15 9 points10 points11 points 4 years ago (7 children) | Copy Link
She doing this to make herself feel better. Girls say they omit or keep this info private all the time, and they often look at guys who pry as insecure. She should be held to the same standards. However you guys have been dating a while maybe she wants to DTR. In the early stages keep it to yourself. They can’t handle the truth.
[–]Chance_Base_854 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link
Being able to make an informed decision screams insecure? I'm not going to have a casual sexual relationship with someone who's trying to catch herpes behind a dumpster. I wanna know if he's got standards because some of these heifers are nasty and yall dudes fuck literal animals so... shivers
[–]BostonWeedParty 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
It's pretty easier to tell if a guy has standards, you don't need pictures of every girl he's been with to figure it out.
[–]Chance_Base_854 -2 points-1 points0 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Who said anything about that? Just you. Why? You a deflecting Facebook stalker?
[–]ant2k15 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
They just want to compare - because they are insecure. Don’t fall for it. You will be judged. Too low ? Not attractive enough or experience. Too high ? Man whore but she benefits from the experience. You’re better off keeping that shit to yourself. Be a gentleman. I don’t remember every single women. I don’t keep count. Because its not a trophy to me. If you want to see if I’m safe their are ways to do that.
…🙌🏼🌈
[–]ant2k15 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
So get tested beforehand . You sound judgement.
[–]Chance_Base_854 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
And during. Very judgy because people as a whole are fucking disgusting and I don't have the time or patience to be nursing random diseases.
[–]Taiyella 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Don’t lie,
But I would make it clear that you are probably just dating and not sleeping with women. I think that’s the turn off.
When’s i you plan on making a decision
But showing her you have options make you more attractive right?
[–]Czekraft 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
It's really none of her business. You can be honest, but it wouldn't do anything except fuel jealousy or if she is needy then make her become exclusive with you.
[–]b_a_d_r0b0t 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
What about the guys she is dating?
[–]Human-City-8231 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I second this. 👩❤️💋👩
[–]Ineedanswers6789 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Yes it makes her see that you have options, it’s easier to get girls when you already have girls for some weird reason.
[–]yennybear888 3 points4 points5 points 4 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
As someone who once dated up to 7 women at the same time, I can say that being straightforward honest is NOT the right move. Women just get too sensitive and you start having these serious convos about where this is going etc. You should just dance around it and joke about it. If your value is high enough, women don’t mind being part of a rotation and they will also learn to joke about it...i.e. “I hope I’m more fun than your Friday date.”
[–]Chance_Base_854 -1 points0 points1 point 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Nope. I'm not here for your herpes. I'm not "too sensitive," you're just disgusting, dismissive, and a liar. Hope you at least have decent dick or you'll have nothing to fall back on when "the one" laughs in your douchy face.
[–]BostonWeedParty 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
You sound bitter, but you've probably dated more than one guy and not told them about each other, most girls call this keeping there options open or being wild and free. Girls literally do what your condemning all the time.
[–]Chance_Base_854 -1 points0 points1 point 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Bitter or right? Dudes line up and most don't mind being last. Garbage has no gender.
[–]Suspicious_Fly133 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Listen to this guy!! Just keep it secret
[–]Sup3rHD 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
( "But she keeps asking me about the other women I'm hanging out with. I usually deflect and change the subject, or make an obviously corny joke, "I'm only dating the <her name>s of the world"."):
Girls do this all the time.
A girl understands when if u are dating other girls or not. Dont tell her, let your actions speak for You. A girl is attracted by a guy that other girls want.
[–]stanthemilkman88 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
No. Do they?
[–]Vril_SA_PL 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Yes! Honesty is always the best policy! By not telling her the Truth By lying to her You are denying her the chance To choose for herself Whether she accepts it or not Cuz you never know Maybe she is the one you really want And that you just don't know it yet And started off lying Is a predicator for how that relationship is going to end!
Cuz if you aren't willing to tell her the Truth Why should she!
[–]alexsander36 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Just be honest, don't be a douchebag and lie to her. She's got feelings, maybe she liked you enough she thought she could change you
[–]youareameathead 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I don't usually go out of my way to talk about it but oddly enough some of the dates i've been on so far it's usually the girl that brings up dating life sometimes lol
[–]The-Bull89 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Your pretty much doing the right thing. You've already let her know your casually dating and she's not the only girl in your life. Specific details arnt important. Just be playful and about it in your answers. Say things like don't worry you're in my top 10 and then change conversation.
By her knowing she's not the only girl for you she's gonna be putting extra effort as she knows there's competition.
[–]Chance_Base_854 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Top 10? I'm out if I'm not #1. Ghosted. I don't care how many jokes you think you're making.
[–]Decumulate 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
I’m not sure it’s her business if you’re not exclusive. She’s fishing and it’ll only lead to drama.
[–]Chance_Base_854 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
It's her business to know what you're sticking your nasty dick in at the same time as her so she doesn't catch whatever disgusting disease you're harboring. Get tested frequently and share results. If you can't have an adult conversation, you don't deserve to do adult activities.
[–]Decumulate 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Some of you people act like you’ve never dated before. Ok, let op share. Watch what happens. The results to this are almost textbook predictable.
[–][deleted] -3 points-2 points-1 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
You're doing great, I'd advise against the honesty route.
[+]AngeloMacon -7 points-6 points-5 points 4 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
Keep deflecting. Don't lie. And if you're a moral guy, know when to cut your losses when a plate is starting to fall for you that you have no interest in
[–]Human-City-8231 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
This guy fucks. Keep her on the roster. If she finds out, it's headache for her not you. LFG.
[–]Chance_Base_854 -1 points0 points1 point 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
You'll get your karma at your lowest.
[–]Human-City-8231 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
(McGregor voice) I don't give a fuckkk
[–]skinticket02 -1 points0 points1 point 4 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
Say yes , or tell her it's none of her business.
Think about how she'd react if you asked her that . You'd be seen as needy and pushy.
[–]Chance_Base_854 -2 points-1 points0 points 4 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
Asking about information to make an informed decision about allowing yourself to be exposed to the risks associated with casual sex, is none of her business? Idiot.
[–]skinticket02 -1 points0 points1 point 4 years ago* (0 children) | Copy Link
She can leave if she doesn't like it . I don't have handcuffs.
Looking her dead in her eye and telling her it's none of her business communicates a lot more than I'm fucking other people . It's also saying stay in your place.
[–]BostonWeedParty 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Funny but no girl has every in my life told me about other guys, I found out through mutual friends, gut intuition or way after the fact.
So because you dated garbage people, you choose to be garbage? Boring.
[–]Vril_SA_PL -1 points0 points1 point 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
My Second comment After actually reading your entire post ^_^
You comment "Is this the right thing to do?" For me Yes! But your own moral code that you choose to live with Is yours to decide But be wary of Karma Cuz the universe has a way of repaying "Falsehood"
Your comment "How do you manage a situation where you may be casually dating multiple women at the same time?" I can honestly say I have never done this before So take my words with a grain of salt But in perspective for me it's not something I would personally do But even as Sadhguru says, well I will paraphrase what he says
"To each his own" If that's what you want to experience Life with multiple women, the great juggling act Go right ahead Hopefully someone else will you the advice you seek Like I believe also Life expresses itself from like the letter A all the way to Z Any everything in-between is acceptable But be warned Cuz there are always consequences for your choice of actions Whether good or bad I don't know And I know I never will Well maybe someday Cuz predicting the future Has only been reserved for a very few enlightened individuals And even than, we still have to take caution in listening to their words
I hope that helped more than my 1st one ;)
[–]Sensitive-Permit-877 -1 points0 points1 point 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Just say yup I have been seeing a few you are number four right now better step it up
[–]abrahamlincorn -1 points0 points1 point 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Yeah, you’re gonna absolutely shatter her heart if you’re not honest, if you haven’t already done so
[–]summerpockets1992 -1 points0 points1 point 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Just be honest. You deflecting or making a joke is manipulation.
[–]Diligent-County-721 -1 points0 points1 point 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Joke around and say something like there’s a few… but you’re the most special. You’ll still be playful and mysterious
[–]joelvaldezg -1 points0 points1 point 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Hmmmm. The thing is people here are seeing women as just objects for sexual pleasure and not as individuals with their own emotions. When you are meeting a woman, you should listen carefully to everything that she shares with you and what she doesn’t share with you, since this will reveal what type of person she is. If you let a girl know that you just want her for casual sex or that you are dating other girls she will not feel unique in your eyes. Even though some women don’t care, there are women out there who genuinely want to feel special. Sometimes you will need to hide that. If you don’t actually care about her, tell her. If you still want her body, lie.
[–]Human-City-8231 -1 points0 points1 point 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
SIMP
[–]ExchangePowerful3225 -1 points0 points1 point 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Uh, yeah you should be telling her how many other people you’re dating, especially if you’re having sex with them. And you should probably know how many other people those girls are sleeping with too.
Why lie??
[–][deleted] -1 points0 points1 point 4 years ago* (0 children) | Copy Link
Be honest with her so she can process it and move on… you can’t be that interested in her if you’ve been dating for a few months and are still seeing other woman…stop wasting her time…
She obviously likes you and is worried about it or she wouldn’t be asking… at least she has the courage to ask. I tend to not ask if I like someone because I find it terrifying and avoid reality… 🤢 😜
Doing this stuff only makes things more complicated… honesty is the best policy 👍🏼
[–]Perfect_War5446 -2 points-1 points0 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Just say “yeah I got a few women I keep in touch with” that way, she’ll put more effort into to trying to win you over since she knows she has competition
[+][deleted] -13 points-12 points-11 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Be toxic
[–]Domnation101 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
This worked for me in my past life. I would say that I want to be honest with her so that she can trust you if y’all become exclusive. Tell her that there are others because that is the situation now. Tell her it makes you uncomfortable to discuss details because you care about her feelings. Which was true. If things evolve, you want it based on honesty.
[–]pacg 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Im going against the grain on this one. If you’re casually dating and these relationships don’t matter what’s the harm in telling her about one of the other women? You can impose the condition that she tell you about one of the men she’s dating.
Besides isn’t the motto of this subreddit that there’s plenty of fish in the sea? That we adopt an abundance mindset yada yada yada. If you lose this one there’s others in the rotation right?
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Honestly is the best policy
[–]Human-City-8231 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
And that how they keep you poor my friend
LOL ok buddy
[–]RedBeard6 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Tell the truth, but be prepared that she might walk away. Happened to be me recently and I she was the best person I've dated in ages. I am a fool basically.
[–]13Xxx21 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Yes...if it's not a committed relationship.
[–]EscapeVelocity83 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Yes, they should live togather and have daily brawls to compete for who gives you the next bj
Always be honest. Integrity and confidence is what is most important at all times when it comes to relationships of any kind.
[–]aquasun21 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
There's no reason to lie since you've made it clear you don't want a relationship. The most important thing here would be regularly get tested for STIs if you're consistently banging multiple people.
[–]FrostedFluke 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
You have the right instinct. They don't need to know specifics but it's good for them to know you're dating around.
Keep doing what you're doing and don't tell them about any specifics.
[–]krzjasn87 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Tell her you don’t kiss and tell, you don’t have to tell her details of the other women you are seeing but don’t lie to her either. Be playful and charming and if she is really serious about wanting some information let her know that you are seeing other people. Rephrase that you are not looking for a relationship.
[–]TheTruth221 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
nah they can find out when they do find out
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[–]Domnation101 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
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[–]TheTruth221 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link