I (20 M) never had sex... Need advice on having first time sex with a virgin girl?

norwegiandoggo · 2022-01-23T15:11:46+00:00

It's your first time. So my advice is: Don't expect it to go well. Expect it to be awkward, nervous, unsure etc.

Adventurous-Quiet252 · 2022-01-23T15:08:54+00:00

[permanently deleted]

Melinored · 2022-01-23T15:12:02+00:00

Are you writing this thread right from the bedroom before the live showdown ? LOL

bulldawg91 · 2022-01-23T18:07:31+00:00

It’s lower than you think. Dead serious

ExquisiteGrowth · 2022-01-23T15:31:43+00:00

Just chill, make sure you’re both relaxed. It’s gonna be really new to both of you. As another commenter mentioned, be able to laugh through the awkwardness, it really helps to make both you and the girl comfortable. I can guarantee you the 2nd time will be 1000000000x better.

DickBillyJackson · 2022-01-23T16:32:18+00:00

I’m still friends with the woman I lost my virginity to 17 years ago. We’ve openly joked about how awkward it was in front of friends.

I said that to say no one is good at it the first time, so don’t expect to be a porn star.

Woujo · 2022-01-23T16:16:20+00:00

Take your time. The biggest mistake men make in sex is going for it too fast. Men get aroused much more quickly than women, so they jam their tongue down girls' throats and their fingers up girls' pussies way before the woman is ready. Don't even worry about penetration until her pussy is very wet and she is definitely ready to go.

Also, you need to take the lead. Women like a man who is in charge and control. At the same time, however, be mindful of whether she is enjoying what you are doing. Sometimes girls in the heat of the moment don't tell speak up when the guy is doing something they don't like. Pay attention to her body. See how she is responding. IF she grips you tighter that means you are doing something good.

Kiss her neck. Kiss her ears. Tell her she's hot. Women need to feel like you think they are hot.

All that said, if both of you are virgins your sex will probably suck.

Ancient_Leader5572 · 2022-01-23T19:15:08+00:00

You’re both probably going to be nervous. That’s fine. Just go with it and try to have a sense of humour and openness. Don’t have too many expectations. There’s probably going to be a lot that goes wrong before it goes right so don’t put too much pressure on yourself when the unexpected things happen. Foreplay is hugely important. Especially for women as we tend to take more time to feel aroused. Make out, touch each other, kiss each others bodies, whatever you feel like. Just don’t go straight to penetration. Most women need clitoral stimulation to orgasm. So if you don’t feel comfortable with oral, use your fingers. Hopefully she is a little wet at this point but if not grab some lube and warm it up to stimulate her clit. Please don’t rub her clit dry, this hurts. 😖😫 Have her tell you what feels good for her, in terms of pressure, rhythm, etc.. But a good rule of thumb is to start light and slow and you can add more if she tells you too or if she starts responding. Responses to look out for bc some of us don’t just immediately start moaning, is breathing patterns; sharp inhales, fast, heavy or irregular breathing, holding breath, etc… Additionally physical movements like shivers, muscle spasms, hip bucking but i feel like that ones kind of self explanatory. If you want to finger her internally, the g-spot is about an inch or two inside the vagina. You can usually tell where it is bc the texture in that spot is a little different than the rest of the vagina. It may even feel a little ribbed. She may not feel much sensation at first but rubbing in a “come here” kind of motion or just sliding your fingers along it may start to increase sensation for her. But ask her for guidance on this because everyone is different. There’s also this thing called vaginal tenting, which is like the female equivalent to an erection. Where the vagina essentially tents upwards towards where the bladder would be (to make room for a penis) and this should happen before you attempt penetration. Or else sex can hurt, doesn’t for everyone but it does for a lot of women. If you’ve ever heard people make comments about how “tight” a girl was and heard some girls chime in and say that she probably wasn’t into it. It because of vaginal tenting. When a a vagina isn’t tented, she may feel tighter, but she likely is not aroused. Once you feel that she is aroused, you can go ahead attempt penetration. You may last long, you may not. Honestly don’t worry about that part bc if you’ve done the stuff before then you’ve already made her first time better than 80% of the women out here. Most of us don’t have extremely pleasurable first times. And she may not feel a lot this time either, just be open and communicate with each other about how to make the experience better for both of you.

Oh and also wash your hands before fingering. Cut, file and clean out any grime under your nails. Vaginal infections suuuuuuck and not in the good way. Make sure you use protection. Also get lube, you may need it, you may not but it’s best to be prepared. But don’t use lube to skip over steps that focus on her arousal. If you’re only relying on condoms make sure you have a back up or backups bc they can break and that shuts things down reeeaaallly fast if you’re not prepared. Focus on just having fun though! Good luck!

mohap_20 · 2022-01-23T17:47:33+00:00

Women are smart creatures, whatever happens she will understand, my advice to you

Be calm Don't rush it Don't think of what you are going to do, don't overthink it.

Good luck.

DominatePressure · 2022-01-23T17:50:43+00:00

Get confortable together, do lots of foreplay and teasing. Stay relaxed and avoid any kind of thinking. Get in touch with your natural instinct and enjoy.

5555--55 · 2022-01-23T18:09:54+00:00

Saving this post so it helps me someday.

2udaylatif · 2022-01-23T19:19:53+00:00

You're both virgins? No advice needed. Just do it. Communicate and have fun.

It is going to be weird the first time. No way to explain it. It is just weird. It is exciting and awkward.

Forget all the advice and just do it together. Be in the moment.

sh1ftyswar · 2022-01-23T18:10:26+00:00

It's like Chinese takeout ...it ain't over until you both get your cookies.

BlackMagicBeat · 2022-01-23T18:20:52+00:00

Be gentle. Dont bang her too hard.

Uarerxi_Noremac · 2022-01-23T21:14:56+00:00

Lots of foreplay, to warm her up. Not too much for you, so you don’t bust quick (or masturbate before doing the action)
Use lube, have a cup of water to moisturize, cuz it can become dry and would hurt her (no dry friction)
Communicate, ask what feels nice to her. Tell her what feels nice to you or if she should slowdown (so u dont bust)
If it hurts her too much, dont force it even if she wants too (it would like you raping her)
Pleasure is not only penetration, kiss n suck on neck, tits, discover her sweet spots
Protection my guyyy, no fœtus creatus

Good luck!

richsg15 · 2022-01-23T17:46:12+00:00

Just pick a hole and drive on haha

Acrobatic_Potato_919 · 2022-01-23T16:07:09+00:00

Try to relax as much as possible. Don’t put to much pressure on yourself. First time is just going to be weird and the more you over think the worse it is. Lots of lube and taking time to stop if she needs. Like everything else on life it takes practice to get really good.

Even_Put · 2022-01-23T19:17:24+00:00

Start off with reverse piledriver.

Snoo-20788 · 2022-01-23T18:06:16+00:00

Rule #1 - do not have intercourse before having managed to make the girl come in other ways (potentially even with sex toys).

More specifically - you should have at least a couple of sessions of naked make out where there is no penetration, so that you can each find out what the other person likes. For the guy it will help him to get used to the excitement so that when they have intercourse the guy is able to control himself (i.e. be patient, and not ejaculate after 30 seconds). For the girl it helps to be able to show the guy what she likes (assuming she even knows), by showing the guy how she likes to be touched, potentially by touching herself, so she can get used to be aroused around him, even to come.

Once you've done that a few times, you can then have intercourse. If you skip that step, it's likely that the first time is going to be awkward, and that the subsequent ones might lead to frustration on the girls side, because many girls need much more than simple intercourse to enjoy themselves.

LeadPrevenger · 2022-01-23T18:09:11+00:00

Relax and feel free to back out

hunkyboy46511 · 2022-01-23T18:37:03+00:00

Beat off before your date so that you won’t blow your load 5 seconds after you insert Tab A in Slot B.

Spinuchi · 2022-01-23T19:38:11+00:00

Man.. Its your first time chill! I mean it will be impossible to relax, you will be extremely nervous.. But luckily for you so will she. You both will be understanding because you know it is your first time. It will be akward, but try to get out of your own head and enjoy it.

You will notice once you focus more on what you are feeling you will begin to find the stroke that not only works for you but for her. Just experiment, have fun.. After that session go again.. And again.. And you will get it and feel like you are on top of the world!

Wrap up my friend 😉

arkadylaw · 2022-01-23T19:49:39+00:00

Don't set high expectations for your first time especially if it's the first time for both of you. It's going to be special and scary and you are bound to make blunders, which is perfectly find and normal. It's the first time; don't expect or assume it's going to be the best time. This is just the beginning. Don't be afraid to make mistakes. We have all been there and we have all done those mistakes.
Your nervousness might impact your ability to perform. The best way to overcome it is just not to worry about it. If that girl loves you, it's not going to matter to her.
Don't put pressure on yourself to follow some type of script and to try to perfectly plan the perfect time and place to do it. Only go for it if you feel like it, if the time and the mood is right for you and for her.

coldbrew18 · 2022-01-23T19:55:19+00:00

Start with foreplay, lots of foreplay.

Listen to her. Her voice and her body will tell you what she likes. You will have to learn to understand her nonverbals.

With that said, the first few times won’t be enjoyable. She will probably be in pain if she doesn’t have a toy your size.

Oh yeah, have a sex towel. You probably will want to lay it under her.

youcheekydelinquent · 2022-01-23T19:58:57+00:00

Communication, understanding, consent and patience. Just talk to her lol.

pencildrawings · 2022-01-23T20:06:53+00:00

Be patient. Don’t force it. Don’t be desperate. Choose carefully who you do whatever with. It only takes one second to get her pregnant. Condoms don’t always work. You don’t have to cum to release sperm. There is more to sex than the physical act.

RedPravda · 2022-01-23T20:19:01+00:00

Have fun don't take it too seriusly

KingOfNeptune · 2022-01-23T20:27:09+00:00

Maintain frame. No matter how it goes, you're still cocky and confident and unshaken. Laugh at the mistakes and be in a good mood.

That way even if it doesn't go well, she'll still be attracted to you and willing to try again.

bellabi10023 · 2022-01-23T20:29:22+00:00

Start getting in the zone by kissing and feeling each other up and the rest will happen. Foreplay is key not only for the first time!

TexRetroTech · 2022-01-23T20:33:48+00:00

Have some lubricant handy. Take is slow. Communicate and see how she' s feeling.

grayson2520 · 2022-01-23T20:37:27+00:00

just be open and go over what you wanna try, what you do and dont feel comfortable with. the first time is always awkward and really not the best but over time you will learn what you like and will hopefully become open to more things. at some point it honestly feels like you get in a routine and it can be kinda boring so that’s when you gotta try to new things and make it exciting. even small things like having a playlist playing in the back to relieve some tension and set you more in the mood. but it definitely gets better over time!

gangweedsavedme · 2022-01-23T20:56:28+00:00

Since you said she had pain last time. Get her in a good, comfortable vibe, be reassuring if she looks worried (we don’t have to if you’re not comfortable), also lead the relaxed vibe by example, so calm down, and get out of your head. Now that she’s comfortable just hold eye contact and if she’s holding it too then lean in, kiss her, start making out.

Foreplay is the name of the game. Take a while to feel her while you make out, finger her, etc. After she’s wet, whip it out and just use the tip to stimulate her lips while you caress her clit.

Eventually slide it in, a little at first, and gradually go deeper with each stroke. Keep kissing her, grab her tit, move your hips a little differently with each stroke. Focus on her, and what she reacts to. If she likes something, keep doing it, but try new things every now and then.

MusaTO · 2022-01-23T20:58:47+00:00

This https://www.reddit.com/r/AskMen/comments/eftcl3/what_can_i_m19_do_to_make_my_first_time_more/fc2qd3g/

determinator94 · 2022-01-23T21:14:10+00:00

Don’t think about it too much; embrace your instincts and use them. And don’t hesitate to feel a woman’s body, ie: boobs, ass, thighs. That nervousness is because your energy state is increasing, and it can be overwhelming, and that’s okay. Embrace that energy; this experience will make you stronger as a guy.

And if it makes you feel any better, I lost my virginity at the age of 20 as well. Fitting in my opinion given the drastic changes that come with being in your 20’s.

pureheartx · 2022-01-23T21:32:30+00:00

Raw dog! Just playing….nah I’m serious

onefays42 · 2022-01-23T21:40:53+00:00

Maybe you will miss the spot but don't worry it's your first time :-)

2022-01-23T21:45:30+00:00

don't think about getting off, think about having an intimate human to human moment. Connect with someone on the deepest level Pierce their sole

jackknifeman · 2022-01-23T21:48:15+00:00

Relax. The first time is never perfect. Took me 3 months to get fully in sync with my current wife. Same apply to any new relationship.

Jjfargo · 2022-01-23T21:58:30+00:00

Tons of foreplay and get it heated up. Also, don’t think about how good it feels. Think about connecting with her and it may make you last longer… also don’t think about lasting.

robml · 2022-01-23T21:58:45+00:00

Aww that's so cute, I lost mine in a similar way. The advice in this thread is pretty good. A lot of ppl saying to not worry abt it which may make you be like "wait SHOULD I BE WORRYING ABOUT IT" but nah its just everyone being supporting of you and letting you know what worked for them. Note go slow, blood is normal, and be gentle and patient at first.

nogestures · 2022-01-23T21:59:53+00:00

Don’t expect it to be the PlayStation 2 boot up sound…

Artistic_Penalty_654 · 2022-01-23T22:12:00+00:00

why are some of y’all being @ssholes :(

FarahKhan62 · 2022-01-23T22:16:30+00:00

Get drunk and you’ll lose all your anxiety

BigEyesBushyTail · 2022-01-23T22:20:48+00:00

I'm sorry, but so much of this advice is garbage. It's all given from the lense of fantasizing from the outside. If you're truly wondering, and want to know what she likes or doesn't? She may not be ready, man. Because if you're both ready and she truly feels safe and sexual with you? You'll know. My best advice is ask her. Bc every human body is different. And if she's a virgin she may not even know what she likes yet. So you guys can both explore it together. That's the key to pleasing another person. Everyone is different. Figure out what pleases her, and communicate to her what pleases you. Then you're all good. 🔥🔥

BigEyesBushyTail · 2022-01-23T22:27:08+00:00

P.s. Despite what the other comments are saying, I'd recommend both of you letting your passion take over. If you're both truly ready, then the best thing I would recommend is just to have fun, man. If you've discussed it and you're both ready? Then stop thinking and start feeling. And having fun. That's really the point of the whole thing anyhow. ❤️

Mad-Draper · 2022-01-23T22:34:54+00:00

Accept that it’s awkward, make light of it Understand that her ways of feeling pleasure are very different from mens Mention how it’s a shared experience Listen to what she’s telling you

i__jump · 2022-01-23T22:41:03+00:00

foreplay for her and make it romantic like spend a good amount of time making out with her beforehand and building up desire.

Kobe_curry24 · 2022-01-23T22:52:27+00:00

My advice don’t do it find a women with experience not a whore lol but experience date her .. you can actually even bag women now with the Virgin move

Honest_Fan13 · 2022-01-23T23:08:47+00:00

Natural, creativity, and whatever you think you are doing right. Just be vocal with each other. And remember to cuddle or check up on her at the end.

Moltak-Firewind · 2022-01-23T23:24:32+00:00

Set realistic expectations (don’t expect it to be like porn or something you’ll see in Hollywood) and don’t put any pressure on you or her to be “the best you’ll ever have” because that will likely not be the case. If something doesn’t go as planned and you can feel it getting a little awkward just relax, laugh, and move on. Hope you have a good time :)

Marinaraplease · 2022-01-23T23:43:01+00:00

It's not that much different from jerking off

carloshps16 · 2022-01-24T00:32:06+00:00

Do not forget the lubricant so it goes in smooth

Sappywappie · 2022-01-23T19:34:03+00:00

I was 20 too when I lost my v card, what helped me at the time was just not overthinking it. At the time I figured once I hit it I once I wouldn't really care much after the first one so I just booked a hooker...

someonerandomwhat · 2022-01-24T01:04:03+00:00

Be ready, cause your dick may not get erect. Don't get desperate, it's normal, try to relax and do other forms of sex play that don't involve your D, and if "he" show up, go for it.

Be ready to fail a second time in the same day...

Title	I (20 M) never had sex... Need advice on having first time sex with a virgin girl?
Author	Adventurous-Quiet252
Upvotes	112
Comments	103
Date	January 23, 2022 3:06 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/savlpv/i_20_m_never_had_sex_need_advice_on_having_first/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/i-20-m-never-had-sex-need-advice-on-having-first.1268441 https://theredarchive.com/post/1268441

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