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[–]canadaleaf14 123 points124 points125 points 4 years ago* (32 children) | Copy Link
Models by Mark Manson
Then read
3 percent man by Corey Wayne
[–]ericburnham 43 points44 points45 points 4 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link
These two are essential readings. I'd also add "No More Mr. Nice Guy" by Robert Glover, and "I Hear You" by Michael Sorensen to this.
[–]canadaleaf14 10 points11 points12 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Yeah I agree on NMMNG as well. Never heard of that other one but I’ll give it a listen
[–]strugglingstudent00 11 points12 points13 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
i liked no more mister nice guy but the author has been divorced like 3 or 4 times at this point. It seems he doesnt practice what he preaches like so many other dudes in this space.
[–]ericburnham 8 points9 points10 points 4 years ago* (0 children) | Copy Link
Yeah, there's also some bizarre stuff in the book about letting your SO know that you are trying to get rid of all the "nice guy" tendencies, in reality I doubt it would end well. It could become a turn off for people. However, there are many solid ideas in the book, which are good to get rid of one's victim mentality and entitlement behaviour.
[–]Gamygyn 3 points4 points5 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
I will check them out too, thanks!
[–]Gamygyn 10 points11 points12 points 4 years ago (21 children) | Copy Link
Models and 3 percent man seem to come up quite often, I will definitely read them, thanks!
[–]oreopimp 56 points57 points58 points 4 years ago* (20 children) | Copy Link
The guys and women at the bar I bartend at literally think I am an incubus (a male succubus) because within a minute or two while girls, even guys, are ordering drinks they go from 0 to 60 emotionally and socially. It’s not even something I try to do it just happens, along with getting fit, natural charm these are some resources that helped create my own principals where I’m a man you’re a woman I desire you, you look like fun and trouble but I’m not going to chase you: 1. 3 Percent Man will give you solid framework on how to act, to definitely never chase, but I highly recommend adding in stuff from 2. Playing with Fire - YouTube channel dealing mostly with texting. Will give enhance your foundation mindset even more on what to do, how to act if you get a girls number and it’s a slow burn to no responses. 3. Todd V — his YouTube channel / Text Dating machine :/ Women — shows really how you keep natural conversation going but essentially add emotional spikes to them so you basically keep conversations interesting and attractive 5. James Marshall - YouTube channel and his Five Pillars of Seduction: the GOAT imo. Foundation mindsets, how to have emotionally based conversations that are attractive. 6. Mark Manson - Models. Especially for his ideal of Honesty and Vulnerability. It will change everything imo, you put it out there in your own way and you at the same time of doing that create a space for others to also share their vulnerabilities because you had the strength to be honest and vulnerable 7. Marshall Rosenberg— his two books on nonviolent communication (Nonviolent communication and Living with Nonviolent communication) —- incredible important works that will change how you converse with everyone. You want to see a woman get full comfortable with you in a short period of time? Adapt this frame work into the emotionally based frame works already mentioned 8. Richard La Ruina — two books — The Natural and Soulmate Sequence: important for having really good emotionally based conversations and how to focus on the kinds of questions you should be asking
Start watching at 1 hour mark…Here’s Richard La Ruina in a video talking about how to have a conversation from another persons perspective (an emotional based conversation): https://youtu.be/-unuqF4uklE
Whatever you do decide to study: take notes. Preferable digital format so you can always reference them. When I put work into really learning I kept everything in separate one note pages for each resource. And until they became natural and intuitive processes I would refer back to them often. At first you may write down specific lines you like or want to remember to ask or say — but as time goes on you just get the mindset down and when talking to a woman I know how to probe deep into why she chose to do what she did (moving to my city for example) v quickly in a non superficial way while also being flirty and charming and looking at her with incredibly intense desire here and there etc...some of this sounds silly to talk about in a truncated form like this, but the effect in person, in conversation, can not be overstated.
[–]brogrammer9669 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (18 children) | Copy Link
I have a genuine question. I read books about dating and pickup, and i sometimes think (overthink) whether I'm not true to being myself when I meet someone.
Like I'm reading a book/advice from someone and if it works, it's the person's advice that worked, not me. The girl liked the implemented advice/fake me. Not me my original myself.
And I AM really trying to improve myself, have been so for a long time. But I'm not where I think i should be. And so there's this insecurity in me that girls aren't attracted to me, they're attracted to the fake version that was created by reading the book. And if I would've genuinely got that same idea in my head without reading/listening anyone, then that's me and my idea.
May you please explain how do I go about this, please? I'm 25, and I really want to improve as a person, and especially my dating/conversation life.
[–]oreopimp 19 points20 points21 points 4 years ago* (8 children) | Copy Link
When you go to college, get a degree, and use that knowledge to get a job in a new field -- and you then use that knowledge you learned within that new field -- is that you doing the work or purely the advice and foundational knowledge you learned doing the work?
You are getting into a philosophical area where 1. is new knowledge integrated and now a true part of you? and 2. Was your current and previous knowledge/personality/intuitive reactions and choices really yours or a product of others education beat into you (parents) as well as an unconscious conglomeration of learned reactions that you picked up through the vast amount of pleasure/pain/suffering you experienced in your unique path of life?
So is new knowledge a natural extension of you? And would your current and previous knowledge and reactions be a part of who you are if you had the conscious choice?
My answer: Learning new things is a conscious choice to replace current habits you are not happy with and in their place put in better more effective habits through the seeking out of mentors in books, videos, tutorials or lectures.
Ask yourself, in any area of dating, are you happy with your current reactions and choices? No? Then likely if you had the choice in designing who you are you would not have consciously chosen to take on those ineffective reactions and choices you are currently making...so what you are now doing is going through a very active process of consciously designing your character and overwriting the unconsciously learned behaviors you picked up from your parents and lived experience and you are replacing them with more effective and consciously learned behaviors, that if repeated, become a natural part of who you are.
(we are not talking about simply learning lines put foundational principles...by all means, if there is a line or specific questions you like, write them down, use it naturally and overtime you will develop your own rapport as time goes on. Hell I even recommend as you are watching movies and shows to keep a OneNote and any time you hear a good line or Smooth reply: write it down and make it your own (I have a one note file with tons of lines from shows I've watched because I liked them). For example, at the bar one night I am smoking a cigarette and talking to a lovely woman and I find out a she is leaving town in a day, so I tell her she seems like the right mix of fun and trouble and we should catch drinks, she replies do you always ask girls out at the bar I work at, and I recalled a line from James Bond and told her she's leaving town and 'when one has little time, one sort of has to be obvious' -- the point is it goes with my natural personality, how I act, how direct I sometimes am, and flowed naturally)
At first this may feel unnatural. Because you are going through the first steps of realizing 1. You don't like your current unconscious behaviors. 2. You are going through the Conscious process of changing those behaviors. 3. Consciously putting those new behaviors into effect. 4. And the feeling of training wheels will last until those new behaviors become your new unconscious behaviors. It's like learning a new skill at a job. You go through training. Then you put that training into effect. You are not very good at first as you consciously and carefully go through that process of learning these new skills / position. Then at some point, as each work day passes, you get better and better as you gain mental and physical muscle memory and then it truly becomes unconscious and you are able to perform that new job without thinking about it at some point -- but when you first started, it was incredibly awkward, and not very smooth to go through those motions.
[–]brogrammer9669 3 points4 points5 points 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Wow! WOW!!! I cannot thank you enough for this reply. Seriously! Thank you brother from the bottom of my heart. I've been re-reading this answer for the 15th time now. It's all making sense. Goddamn!!!
Love you, man. Also, are you sure you're a bartender? You should write a book or blog already. Wish you all the best for you life.
[–]oreopimp 9 points10 points11 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
I appreciate the compliment, I’m extremely glad you found it helpful. I’ve been thinking about writing something or making occasional posts, something I’ll probably follow through with in the future. Feel free to ask any questions as even I make sure to keep aware and keep learning everyday. As Plato talked about if each man cultivates his abilities he will be happy and healthy and through that individual cultivation the state (women and individuals in your life) will also be happy and healthy and whole. With so many resources at first it might be a struggle learning new behaviors and which ones to take on, but over time you’ll find the best ones that work for you and eventually you’ll find that life will be a joy. You’ll always be prepared whether the night brings a fun adventure you didn’t expect or you end up going out and nothing much happens
[–]EU-Howdie 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Yes, the old Plato. WE know him, he is from EU too!
[–]Gamygyn 3 points4 points5 points 4 years ago* (1 child) | Copy Link
If you speak as clearly and eloquently in real life as you write these answers on reddit, then I understand why people flock to you, so would I. You're fascinating to read. A huge thank you for your intervention.
[–]oreopimp 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
That’s incredibly kind of you my man 🙏 I hope so, I just try to be my best self and hold myself accountable and through that hopefully others who come across my path socially have a better time than they would have if they we hadn’t met (while also having my own strong personal boundaries)
[–]EU-Howdie 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I agree for 100%, wanted to write it too but my English is not that good.
Really fantastic, thanx !!
[–]tehverdikt 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
This is a great response and one that should be pinned on the Wiki for beginners on what to expect from this subreddit.
Might I add to your response that it's perfectly okay to fail - failure is expected, but know that when you fail, you will also know how to succeed the next time.
Oh yeah it may not have been mentioned in my reply but embracing, and even loving failure is a must. Same way it works with a job, a hobby, anything new you try…you have no muscle or psychological memory or mindsets to initially rely upon outside the ones you bring into it (and even those may harm you at first)…but you have to laugh, smile and treat everything as a growth opportunity and something to note for next time. Your brain is also a product of an unfathomable amount of time of evolution and once you get going it is like a snowball effect and it will help you: bad mindsets and habits will be replaced with more effective ones that will at some point become unconscious abilities or factors of your personality you don’t even think about
Also, thank you for the compliment. Anybody it helps it eventually helps someone else in their life, that’s the idea anyway
[–]msdearaujo_infinity 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Totally feel you. You should look at what John Gray has written. Some classics but really good ones and will take you through the dating and communicating and way past that also to a decent foundation and to being your authentic self along the way check out Babe check out his books called Mars and Venus dating and then look at Mars and Venus in the bedroom and then read menards from Mars women are from Venus. You're going to love it and and it is decent stuff that can be used your whole life in any situation. It helps get women back in their divine femininity and men back in their divine masculinity there's even italicized scripting for the man's part if you just want to sift through that part or just Listen to the audio
[–]brogrammer9669 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Thanks bro. Will definitely try that!
[–]EU-Howdie 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Wrong thinking mt friend. It is still you, but just another approach. We say .... there go many toads to Rome (Italy). It is still you going to Rome, just took another way, road.
Depending who and how you are, roads will be more or less easy for you. Find the ways, the roads, which are most easy for you. That are too the ones who fit you best. And the more you use these (kind of) roads, the easier it becomes, the better "traveller" you become.
Sometimes people think too much about themselves in a way of being like they are and because of that there is no change possible. Of course you can get better, change, become different. Sometimes your largest enemy is yourself, is between your ears. Yourself saying, but that is not me. I"m not like that. Is that honest when I change. Yes, for humans, even animals, learn in their life, change their approach, practice.
So, good luck !!
Yes bro. Got my thinking flaw clearly. Never thought of it like that before. Thanks for the answer :)
[–]andr3st13 -1 points0 points1 point 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Wow bro!!, this is a thought so sad, I hope you can get over all that shit.
[–]brogrammer9669 3 points4 points5 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Tbh, I've seen a lot of failed relationships due to people who've faked themselves into one. And obviously, you can't be fake for long. And once you drop the mask, that's when it all breaks. So that's why not being fake matters to me a lot. And I feel that women have a greater ability than men to see through deception. That's why this thought.
[–]andr3st13 -1 points0 points1 point 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Brou, you don't think that the hour of the flirt, it's works necessarily o should be more "fake", at the end the first person you must liked is yourself.
[–]Paltenburg -1 points0 points1 point 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Fake it till you make it, what's the big deal?
[–]Gamygyn 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
That's complete; thanks a lot for the exhaustive and the explanation with it, it will help.
All the best to you!
[–]Accomplished_Time_35 -2 points-1 points0 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
What do y think about the game by Neil Strauss?
[–]piggiesinthehoosgow 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Yup those are my top two for a scenario like this where there is an older person who hasn't really dated before. Once you get those two down, you can learn a little more about pickup game but these two books are far more important to start
[–]Kobe_curry24 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Might have to check these out
[–]Jabss93 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I've seen a lot of videos on the internet, read various articles and the one thing that put all my knowledge together was the 3% man by coach Corey Wayne. I haven't read the others but it is really one thing that has really help me tremendously. Change me tbh..things just got wayyy easier after I read the book. I don't have time for now to read the other book since rn I am focusing on building my career and finance. Besides, I am currently living in a suburban town, a very small town, and living with my parents. This is hard for me. I'll be moving out soon though for work and I can't wait for that to happen! I know once I'm out things will change !
[–]productive_guy123 22 points23 points24 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Models by mark Manson is the holy grail
[–]Bulldozer7133 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I was about to suggest this
[–]Shieldless_One 16 points17 points18 points 4 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
The book of pook is a must. You can find the pdf for free on google
[–]haikusbot 10 points11 points12 points 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
The book of pook is
A must. You can find the pdf
For free on google
- Shieldless_One
I detect haikus. And sometimes, successfully. Learn more about me.
Opt out of replies: "haikusbot opt out" | Delete my comment: "haikusbot delete"
[–]Shieldless_One 32 points33 points34 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Wtf
[–]thegrim_reaper 7 points8 points9 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
good bot
[–]iiexistenzeii 27 points28 points29 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Book of pook Is entertaining
[–][deleted] 33 points34 points35 points 4 years ago (7 children) | Copy Link
Experience is the greatest and quickest teacher
[–]Gamygyn 26 points27 points28 points 4 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
No harm in wanting some pointers instead of going blind and clueless.
[–][deleted] 25 points26 points27 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Yeah just try to stay away from analysis paralysis
[–]Gamygyn 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago* (0 children) | Copy Link
I'll go deeper in the apps when I have paid leave in a few weeks, until then I'm just looking for some books to go through. I agree with you that I shouldn't make a fixation on the theory though.
[–]IamRocksteady 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Honestly, that's one of the worst advice you can give. If you wanted to learn how to drive, would you rather do it by yourself or actually learn from an instructor or a rally driver, who was already been where you want to go?
[–]Therealjasone 4 points5 points6 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Horrible comparison, driving inexperienced (and experienced) can be dangerous and lethal. It's more like learning to skateboard. People can always give you tips and some will help out but it's best to just ride the skateboard and learn yourself.
[–]IamRocksteady 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
The comparison was just a base comparison of using other people's experience versus trial and error. That's where my point lies and not how dangerous driving is. Why do you think people pay for professional help be that driving, skateboarding, dating, learning a language or anything else instead of trying to learn by themselves by investing thousands of hours in it? If you have so much time and mental resilience that you would rather learn all the steps of a successful seduction and you don't mind getting thousands of rejections before you get anything significant then be my guest. But presented with the option to learn skateboarding by myself and just extend my learning curve and my pain for no other reason than having an inflated ego, or admit that i'm a beginner and learn from Tony Hawk, having presented the chance, i'd rather take the latter.
[–]the_erudite_rider 7 points8 points9 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
How to be 3% man
[–]AllThePillsIntoOne 5 points6 points7 points 4 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
None, go out into the real world, say stupid things, do stupid things, get rejected a bunch, become infatuated then get ghosted, eventually you will come out of the ashes a new man.
[–]Gamygyn 4 points5 points6 points 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
I have, didn't work out, now I'm trying with some more guidance beforehand.
[–]AllThePillsIntoOne 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
I suppose it depends on what you’re looking for. If you want to become better at seduction you have to talk to lots of girls. There are going to be a lot of times were you won’t know what to do or what to say. Or you might say weird things, or you might do something that turns her off instantly. It’s all time and practice.
[–]Gamygyn 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Where I am, dating apps are the best way to meet people fast, and books could help me out in narrowing down what to say or how to act. I understand your point, but I have more than a decade of failed dating worth of experience, doing the same "out in the world and feel it" is unlikely to suddenly yeld better results.
[–]sharonphiliplima 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
You have done this? Please share some examples and insights!
[–]i_love_crazy_hobos 10 points11 points12 points 4 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
Not a book, but game fundamentals are explained in Leo’s 3 part Youtube series, How to Get Laid https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=6DEGfopquio&t=1057s
[–]iiexistenzeii 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Love how he talks about inner game in this.
[–]Gamygyn 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago* (1 child) | Copy Link
Bookmarked, thank you!
[–]i_love_crazy_hobos 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Yeah I love that one. Been studying game online for years and never came across a free foundations series like that.
You can watch it on double speed to get through it faster. Part 2 is where he gets into the details and mechanics.
[–]upinyobutt 13 points14 points15 points 4 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
you leave reddit rn and go check 3% man RIGHT NOW!
What makes it so great compared to others?
[–]upinyobutt 6 points7 points8 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
man, look up the guy on yt Corey wayne been teaching the fundementals since 2010 and this shit works like magic! watch him on yt and read his book and join r/coachcoreywayne
[–]revrev4405 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Godsent. Best success has came from him
[–]revrev4405 4 points5 points6 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Corey Wayne. How to be a 3% man
[–]burncushlikewood 4 points5 points6 points 4 years ago* (0 children) | Copy Link
Read the game by Neil Strauss, the read and buy Pandora's box by vin dicarlo, there is also the attraction code which is free https://www.academia.edu/26492146/Vin_DiCarlo_The_Attraction_Code_id610645886_size The attraction code is just a psychology book just explaining the female mind and they male mindset to pick up women. Basically the jist of the book is explaining dominance and the psyche of the modern woman. He talks about how back in the day women were attracted to the alpha, but not by intimidating and using fear and violence which is actually bad, but leading and building social connections with other men makes us much more powerful. The attraction to men with money, and not using your looks to attract women but your status and your social skills to pick up women. You have to approach girls and get to know them, don't show your interest right away and build that social connection.
[–]stanthemilkman88 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Check out rian stone. He is great.
[–]EnvironmentalRound70 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
My brother i would suggest you only 4 book
1.Seduction by Robert green 2. No more mr nice guy by robert glover 3. Dating essentials also by Robert glover 4. Atomic attraction by (cant remember)
These four teach you how attracte girl and female mind
That all you want all of them could be read in 1 month
I can go through several books a week, so time is not an issue. Thanks for the input! I appreciate it, I have a wide array of stuff to check out. You're one of the few who hasn't mentionned 3% man, haven't read it, or didn't like it?
[–]unequipd 4 points5 points6 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Romance novels. AKA soft porn. You laugh but there’s some pretty good moves to be learned.
Also you’ll eventually meet someone who will wreck you and you won’t even remember what your name is. You’re young. Cut yourself some slack
[–]Gamygyn 4 points5 points6 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I'm 34, folks have been dating since their twenties and I have barely have. My friends are having children, second children, and divorces. It's not old, but not exactly young anymore.
Thanks for the advice though, I appreciate it.
[–]mabden 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
The System by Doc Love
[–]ZoeticLark 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
The Dao of Dating
[–]M_Nash97 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Models by Mark Manson. Best book by a mile
[–]DURANMAN 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Mate by Tucker Max
[–]msdearaujo_infinity 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Besides you want to get past the dating and flirting part also so you can weed out what's not right for you so you'll need help beyond that also this covers everything John Gray is the shit! Everybody knows that lol you're gonna love it it would definitely help.
[–]William_Seriously 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (7 children) | Copy Link
I wouldn't suggest a book, I would suggest the school of hard knocks.... just be yourself my friend, if you are attracted to or interested in another "person" you'd be surprised what can happen with a simple smile, combine that with a hello, and oh snap toss in a little small talk and a compliment..... My point is you don't need a book too tell you how to be yourself, when dating or trying to it's best to do you, otherwise you might end up with someone who fell for the person in the book. Seriously, just be yourself your going to have to step out of your comfort zone, but that's ok, you might actually find it refreshing) invigorating..... no one knows you better than you (ok maybe your mom).. either way have faith in yourself... there's not a single perfect person on the earth.... BUT there is a perfect person for you and only you will ever know who that person is. Best of luck on your journey 💖 may your heart find it's perfect match and may that person be single and not with the wrong person when you meet them.
[–]Gamygyn 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link
I'm 34, I tried the "be the best version of yourself" approach enough times to know I'd like some guidance now.
[–]William_Seriously 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link
Ok, is there a certain someone you have in mind? Or perhaps you just are looking for something or someone to enhance your life.... either way you need to step out of your comfort zone... I've known my wife since like 1st grade, it took me about 20 years to ask her out to dinner.....I was so nervous in asking her out, nevermind the date itself.... when she told me that she wasn't looking for a relationship but we could fool around.... my answer was no, if we were going to be together I wanted it to be more than that... I had to wait another year, but we've been together since, no it hasn't been all great but... it's the best decision I've ever made. My point is, I wasn't looking for sex, that is really easy.... and if that's what you are looking for just throw your hat in the mix.....if you are looking for something meaningful... well it is all about being you and finding the right person for you, but YOU have to step up to the plate and make sure the person you are interested in knows how you feel.... no matter what books you read....if YOU don't start believing in YOU ..why would anyone else? We all have something to offer, and certain skills etc. If you don't try, you'll never fail, but they say it's better to try and fail than to have never tried at all. and that is where being you is critical, because you want someone to be with you for you, not a version of you that you created to entice them... it's not really that complicated, most of us aren't hustlers, we all have insecurities and doubts etc.... I'd say believe in yourself and take a few chances I think you're going to be surprised. Heck maybe get a new haircut, treat yourself to a new wardrobe and some nice cologne, heck ask your sister or best gf for pointers.... and remember Covid has changed everything....so your certainly not the only one alone right now.
[–]Gamygyn 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
I've been me for 34 years, improved but remained myself. I took chances and asked people out, it never got me anywhere. And now I should just continue? If it worked for everyone, I'd understand, but encouraging going down the same path that never brought success is senseless. Watching things through a new angle, be it a book or other kind of advice, may give me a new, maybe better, start.
[–]William_Seriously 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
I feel like you're ignoring a fair amount of what I wrote .. like believing in Yourself...I don't know of many if any woman who are attracted to a man with low or no self confidence... exception being if you're rich.... Let me ask you this, do women hit on you? Are you in shape? Are you trying to meet women with similar interests? Do you have any female friends? Do you go out with female friends? It makes you much more attractive to other women when they see you with other women.... Are you the kind of guy that thinks some women are out of your league? Anyway if you have any female friends have you asked them for advice? Be it on your clothes, your body language, your demeanor, approach Etc etc. Dating isn't that complicated, it's usually us that over think it, get all nervous and end up saying or doing something stupid.... but if you are just looking for sex.... maybe your telegraphing it... women and men a like can pick up on that. Perhaps because you have struggled with this, it's coming across as desperate....my over all point is your friends are likely going to give you the best advice in regards to how you are perceived/coming across.
[–]Gamygyn 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
I read it, as I did the many times before. Confidence is about the first advice cropping up when asking about dating, and I fully agree with it, you don't attract people without confidence. It's important, but it isn't everything either.
do women hit on you?
No.
Are you in shape?
Yes.
Are you trying to meet women with similar interests?
Used too, made a break when Covid started and will start again with dating apps. How the interests will be similar or not remains to be seen.
Do you have any female friends?
Half of my friends are women.
Do you go out with female friends?
Used to go out with them a lot when I was studying, a lot less now.
Are you the kind of guy that thinks some women are out of your league?
Got enough friends with widely different partners to know this stuff isn't set in stone.
Anyway if you have any female friends have you asked them for advice?
Yes. They like me and the way I present, but it never translated to dating. Hence why I'm trying out another kind of advice to see how it goes.
[–]William_Seriously 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Ok I have a much better understanding.... well I think you're going to want to read some of their magazines, I actually flip through them for cooking ideas and odd ball stuff to surprise my wife with...I do remember seeing topics like yours, and some of the articles/stories speak to your topic as well...a lot of it is just common sense but there is some good pointers and insights to be found, Best of luck with your romancing...
Thanks. All the best to you.
[–]JayDarkmoore 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I found three percent man by Corey Wayne pretty good. Tells you how to value yourself first, and how to not be played with in the dating game.
[–]sam_moonshine3 points 4 years ago [recovered] (3 children) | Copy Link
The game by Neil Straus The pick up artist by mystery the girl magnet
There are no reviews or anything except a price tag for the girl magnet.
[–]shaggy2gay 3 points4 points5 points 4 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link
Have never read a pickup book that had all that much to offer. Including Models. Video products are superior in this area.
[–]Gamygyn 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link
Got any specific video in mind?
[–]shaggy2gay 7 points8 points9 points 4 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
Todd V and James Marshall are the two best. The System is a great paid product. Their free content on YouTube is still better than reading a book.
[–]iiexistenzeii 6 points7 points8 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Todd and Marshal are who I'd turn to, to learn technical/outer game.
Julien and owen for inner game.
[–]shaggy2gay 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I disagree with this, used to love them but now consider them grifter insane people. Very mixed bags.
[–]Gamygyn 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Thanks, I'll bookmark them.
[–]naughtystreaks 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Checkout Foundations by RSD Tyler it's a seminar based video lectures.
[–]Business-Purpose-724 3 points4 points5 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
The alabaster girl.
[–]Kobe_curry24 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I would Recommend watching Todd V videos on YouTube and then trying it when you go out
[–]brandonmadeit 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
The book of life. Go outside
[+]grayperson_ -7 points-6 points-5 points 4 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
Read a generic book about self-confidence.
[–]theAarma 3 points4 points5 points 4 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
Name one.
[+]grayperson_ -9 points-8 points-7 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Go to any book vendors website and put confidence in.
It's all the same core principals regurgitated for the last 50 years.
Look in self help area of a used book store.
[+]grayperson_ -6 points-5 points-4 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
All those books about dating and flirting are good and should be read however the underlining (machine code for any programmers out there) is being confident.
[–]WomanWhoBets -2 points-1 points0 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Book of life…
[–]Far-Difference6591 -2 points-1 points0 points 4 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
?? Why don't you just ask, and talk to ... women.
There is No book, no 1 size fits all. You have sister, aunt, niece, co workers, cousins? Talk to, ask, women.
[–]Gamygyn -1 points0 points1 point 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
I'm 34, why do you think I haven't done that? I did the best version of yourself approach to things for a long time without success, I'd rather try something new than restart the same process.
[–]Far-Difference6591 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Because you are 34, on the Internet, asking for books on how to do the most basic of human things...talk to other human beings. And then? You say you z Have? Spoken to females in your life, for help? But still need help, from a book? That u will read at home, alone.. because ..talk to actual, real life women..about women..didn't help?
Maybe you need a therapist? No harm nor shame in that either.
Women aren't mystical, otherworldly creatures They are in many way exactly like you. Eat, sleep, use the bathroom, work, have mothers and fathers. Literally More alike you than not.
Making this, them out to be some different, foreign alien species that you can't talk or relate to? Is your problem. Your doing this.
And You don't need a book to figure that out.
You talk to them as you would anyone else that you have no problem talking to.
Just trying a different approach, looking at things with a new angle. Besides, who said I had to stop talking to women while reading these books?
Also, people can have trouble dating without thinking women to be alien beings remote from us. Half my friends are women and I talk to them often, I still find it hard to flirt. You're making a lot of assumptions, please don't.
[–]Ok_Spot7102 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
The best one in my opinion is Dating Essentials by Dr Glover. I also really enjoyed The Manual by W Anton. Good luck dude!
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
You could literally just read Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus to get an idea about dating. But I'd recommend The Game from Neil Strauss
[–]bobbypimp 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
The best way to learn is by going out there practicing not reading books about it.
[–]vision_b 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
The way of the superior man
How to be a 3% man
[–]msdearaujo_infinity 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
John Gray Mars and Venus dating. Then read his one called Mars and Venus in the bedroom. You may want to even look at 1 called men are from Mars women are from Venus. It's a classic hes professional he gets right to the point he even has manscript in there if you just want to read the italicized parts for the man. It's good for either gender to read though. It really gets people in their right vibration vibration you know like men in their divine masculinity and women in their divine femininity so everything's balanced out and happy And they both have the best chance at making a good impression and living in their truth and loving themselves and each other. They need each other. So don't sleep on that !.. I think they even have them on audio if you don't fancy reading.
Not all men read the same book good luck .
[–]Sup3rHD 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Just watch youtube videos, Save ur money
[–]KaleidoscopeGlass153 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Any channel to suggest?
The game
[–]Distinct_Meringue516 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
The way of the Superior Man
[–]iamaclown00 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
"Atomic attraction: the psychology of attraction". There is the audible version and digital.
[–]neverendingplush 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
you can read all the books you want, but that shits gotta come from within. The smooth criminal comes from experience and getting out there.
[–]No_Jellyfish_10881 points 4 years ago [recovered] (1 child) | Copy Link
The Top 5 Lifechanging Non-Fiction Books of All Time
https://mohamedelsayed.substack.com/p/5-books-that-are-more-important-than?r=qb7ia&utm\_campaign=post&utm\_medium=web
I've read rich dad poor dad and tend to agree with the critics, while it gives some good advice in terms of perception and opportunism, it's very lackluster in a lot of other areas.
I'll check the others though, thanks.
© TheRedArchive 2026. All rights reserved.created by /u/dream-hunter
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