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ORIONFULL23 · 2021-11-30T04:14:19+00:00

Approaching girls at the gym can be a little bit tricky, women are used to get approached almost in every place and situation, so for that reason they have a "social shield" now, they have that "shield" more active than ever at the gym cause a lot of thirsty boys, but don't worry, the only thing that you need to do is build rapport, when you leave the gym or you get to the gym and you see her, try to create some rapport, a simple whats up can be enough, and you need to observe how she reacts to your actions.

And dude, nobody at the gym knows that you're shy, they don't care and its up to you if you want to stay on that state

Prestigious_Pause_45 · 2021-11-30T08:34:43+00:00

Make friends instead. Just talk to people, men and women. I promise there are exxes of other people in there, and even people that have cheated on others in there. I'm quite sure if this.

Don't shit where you eat.

Make enough friends, eventually you'll get approached. If you approach, just have friendship in mind the whole time.

Something will happen if that's all you do.

Possibility-Puzzled · 2021-11-30T04:08:58+00:00

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IGetBoredSometimes23 · 2021-11-30T06:24:23+00:00

If you get the chance to talk to her, you can give her a sincere compliment and see what happens. If she doesn't seem interested or just says "thanks" and walks off, let it go.

That said, it's best to not persue it. Not because of how she'd react, but because it's better for you to focus on yourself at the gym, especially since you're a beginner.

This is the beginning of your fitness journey and you have a lot to learn. It's best for you and your health to focus on that and only that in the gym.

You will have plenty of opportunities to meet women. Let the gym be your "you" time.

Surty_pi · 2021-11-30T09:29:24+00:00

Do not follow her out of the gym, do not tail her in the parking lot. I’ve seen people share that as advice and imo it’s some of the worst I’ve read. I think the best thing is to try and workout near her and strike up a basic conversation. Approach with the mindset/attitude that you just want to be friends. Just try and get to know her a bit and make a good first impression. If you like her, try to get her number as in my personal experience if they aren’t a regular you probably won’t see them again. For my last success at the gym, I had gotten her number by joking around about hitting a workout together.

Prestigious_Pause_45 · 2021-11-30T08:09:48+00:00

Be friendly to everyone.

BrazillianLizardKing · 2021-11-30T05:18:27+00:00

Don't try it

willgo-waggins · 2021-11-30T05:14:37+00:00

I wouldn’t.

Most women get really pissed off about being approached in the gym. The very few who don’t are looking for an Adonis so it’s a waste of time if you are anything short of that.

ChutiyaChutney420 · 2021-11-30T07:08:25+00:00

Just makes friends at the gym, it happens quicker than you think, just a simple hey/what's up/what you working on today would be enough. Once you have some rapport you can slowly start to converse with the girl as well, just don't straight up approach and ask her out tho, I don't think women like that esp in the gym

Simp4Aurelius · 2021-11-30T21:05:53+00:00

This is long winded but I stand by it as it’s the only good way to actually be successful without poisoning the well at a gym, work, etc.

If you have to ask this question, there’s already a low chance of you getting her number or hooking up. Working game in a gym is essentially working social circle game. Instead of signaling status with confidence, dress, or anything else, you actually have to build status. Cold approach and “hitting on girls” is a completely different game to social circle. Hitting on girls is a numbers game. No matter how good you are, you’re going to have more failures than successes. Due to the fact you’ll probably never see that girl you approached again, it’s not a big deal. But in an exclusive environment such as a gym, a failure or two can poison the well and make you “that guy.”

This goes for the gym as well as any other club-like social circle, such as a job, school, or small parties like a 10-40 person house party, etc. there’s nothing wrong with “game” in these settings, it’s just that the PUA game you see on YouTube comes off as very try hard and repelling to both girls and guys.

Imo, it takes at least a year or two to fully be able to “seduce” in a gym or workplace. And learning how to do this well actually helps your cold approach in bars and elsewhere. So here’s a list of steps I’d take to actually be able to pull this off with the inevitably equally cute girl you’ll see in the gym in a few years time.

Take care of the physical stuff first. It’s just the fact of the matter that women are just as vain as men when it comes to appearances. And even us men are vain when it comes to who we associate with. Be presentable. Take care of hygiene. Aim to be under 15% bf consistently to show facial structure and muscle. Grow a beard if you have a weak jaw line or chin. Get a haircut. Etc. this is the basic shit, but this goes for any type of game, those high value women already have 20 guys in their DMs and can get 100+ likes on Tinder on a weekend. you need to make yourself a high value guy as well.
You need to visibly BE GOOD at whatever you do in the social circle. Why would a female coworker want to be with you if you sucked at your job? Why would a female peer at your university want to be with you if you were on the verge of dropping out because of your grades? For the gym, this nicely fits with number one: have a low bf%, look muscular, and be able to lift enough weight to not look wimpy. This takes time. A lot of time. Your diet has to be on point. Your lifting has to be focused. Unless you’re taking Vitamin T (and even then sometimes) it will take at least a year or two to stand out in any way.
Build your connections with EVERYONE in the social circle. This is a bit tricky for the gym because you definitely don’t want to get in peoples way, but if you nail the first two steps, most people will be receptive since you should easily pass that first “are they worth my time in this setting” filter people have. Greet people as you enter and exit the gym. If you make eye contact with someone walking in or out of the gym, that’s a great time to make small talk. Get to know the workers at the gym. Offer to spot someone. Ask to be spotted. Be legitimately curious about other people and give them validation. Ask about someone’s tattoo or gym clothes if they look new and the person clearly values them. If the gym hosts competitions, compete! Small talk is a skill that takes time to develop!
Make friends with the women and wait for them to show interest in you! Treat the girl like everyone else in the gym, with two caveats. Firstly, make sure she knows you have a penis. Don’t take that literally, unless you want a free ride to the police station and a restraining order, but convey masculine features in the way you act, the good ‘ol cocky and funny, some very light sexual innuendo if the conversation is already playful and she’s receptive to the conversation in general. Break the touch barrier. Don’t be creepy and consider it’s a gym so your hands are sweaty and gross, a fist bump would be good at the end of a conversation if you can work it in. Don’t ask her out in the first conversation and end the conversation before she does if you can.
Only make a move when she shows interest in you. This is a BIG one and any fairly attractive guy who pays attention knows what this is. If she’s starting a conversation with you, is clearly excited to see you, is comfortable being close to you, smiles when you make eye contact, adjusts her hair, etc. THEN you can make a move.
Your “move” SHOULDNT BE a date. That’s bad social circle game. If you get rejected, you can poison the well for yourself and make an awkward situation anytime you’re both in the gym. She doesn’t want that and neither should you. Invite her to organize a lift together as training partners, say you’re going to grab a healthy meal after your workout and invite her because you’re going anyway, say you’re going to a bar or some social event with some friends and invite her along. If she’s attracted to you, she’ll accept, change her plans, or suggest an alternative. If she’s not attracted to you, she’ll make an excuse. Remember, she has 100+ options through social media, you need to make a PERSONAL CONNECTION. Don’t make it some special event. “Meeting up” and “hanging out” doesn’t have the social baggage or implications of a date. She wants to keep her options open to assess the vibe. And so should you. Your goal is to get an extended social interaction, preferably one on one, where you can work up rapport, comfort, and attraction. This is where you can go for hugs, light and appropriate touching, etc. Just PLEASE know your calibration and how to kino. If you’ve got past step 1, you can practice on Tinder dates or at a bar. And guess what, if you guys go do something and it goes well but the attraction isn’t there, just a platonic connection…. You just got yourself into another social group where you already have the social proof from that one girl! Attractive girls have attractive friends and maybe they’re a better fit for you anyway.

Hope this helps and most of the steps can be translated to other situations where you see the same people on a regular basis: work, school, small regular parties, etc. This should be the way you get with any girl tbh. Cold approach is a time waste unless you’re genetically in the top 5% of guys (and even then, I’d argue it’s impractical). Every step of this gives value to other parts of your life and are the things that guys who are naturally successful with women and are sociable do.

Pixiestick365 · 2021-11-30T02:55:53+00:00

Ask her to spot you, make some small talk, say hello when u see her around and when you guys start to actually know things abt each other, consider asking her out. If she doesn’t want to spot u she probably doesn’t want to be approached and you should move on

rewinder909 · 2021-11-30T06:26:59+00:00

This is easy just go a little bit earlier with your personal trainer So you can finish your routine, then just do some cardio like bike or something and when you see her talk to her. Problem solved

Artist-in-Residence- · 2021-11-30T11:11:28+00:00

I could meet her for example when she’s leaving I would leave too.

I think this is a good idea. Perhaps your gym, like mine has a lot of nosy, intrusive people. It's better to talk outside than inside, and the perfect opportunity is if you're both leaving at the same time. At least, I've tried to do this once with my gym crush, but he wouldn't come out of the men's room and I had to end up leaving after loitering around for 10 minutes outside our gym waiting for him lol

so the personal trainer would always be with me preventing me to talk to others

If it were me, I would ask my personal trainer to talk to the girl and see if she's single, or possibly wants to train together etc.

The problem is I am an introvert and shy type. Never approached a girl before. Also the gym is good, so I don’t want to do anything awkward there.

I have to say that I don't particularly like my gym and thinking of changing to one next door right down the street but only staying at this gym because of my gym crush lol.

Perhaps you could simply pass her a note or something with a message. I know people at my gym are quite nosy, and I suspect more than half the men there are interested in me, but I would absolutely love it if my gym crush gave me a sign or a note or something.

KlausFenrir · 2021-11-30T17:41:40+00:00

DON’T.

The gym is not a dance club or a social gathering place. It’s where people exercise and relieve stress.

ParticularScience869 · 2021-11-30T18:01:45+00:00

Create a situation where she talks first. Always the way to go.

Mortician69 · 2021-11-30T09:30:12+00:00

Leave her alone

woodskull101 · 2021-11-30T06:45:39+00:00

First you need to try to be friends with her, and therefore you need to create some sort of scenario to let her drop her guards down and know you are a safe person to talk to and you can do that by asking her a normal question like for example; "ask about her shoes and say that your gf always wanted them and you looked for them everywhere but didn't find them and That you are sorry for approaching her in the gym like that cause you understand that it is awkward but you looked for those anywhere and you are giving them your girl as a gift"

This basically will make her see good qualities in you, which will be let her be more comfortable, and in the meantime it will trigger a series of topics you can talk about after based on that scenario and slow by slow you will tell her that you are upset because your girl dumped and create a good scenario that would make her feel sympathy and respect towards you and then maybe pick up from there.

Hope this helps but main concept here is to try to be friends first to find out if she is already in a relationship.. and don't linger too long on the imaginary gf scenario try to play it fast so you create a scenario where she dumps you in the next 4 days.

punissher88 · 2021-11-30T07:07:37+00:00

If you don't wanna do some "gammy stuff" just go approach her and tell her that you're new to this gym and are trying to get to know people around here.

Ljhasta · 2021-11-30T07:16:06+00:00

Try making eye contact and smiling.

Do this 1-3 times. Second time you see her shell recognize u and be alot more approachable

ClassicFew6499 · 2021-11-30T13:31:14+00:00

For now just send glances towards her and smile while you work out.......Just let her know your existence and later your mind will automatically guide you and her to the bed

ryanmc1989 · 2021-11-30T16:56:23+00:00

I wouldn’t start with a compliment, and definitely don’t follow her out of the gym. The gym is a tricky place. Start with something that wouldn’t be completely awkward if you said it to a guy, like ask about her preworkout if you see her drink one, or ask if the workout she’s doing is good to target a specific muscle that you’re searching for new exercises for. Then try to be chatty if she seems open to talking with you

Lessogide · 2021-11-30T17:20:36+00:00

I’m not sure if she is a northern women (From Ny, Pennsylvania, Connecticut etc) because they seem to be on that “I don’t talk to strangers” mode

hairykitty123 · 2021-12-01T15:09:57+00:00

I’m working on this myself hard to say hi when everyone has headphones in, I’ll get there though I’m not in a big rush

Title	[deleted by user]
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	1
Comments	58
Date	November 30, 2021 2:23 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/r5c95c/how_to_approach_this_cute_girl_in_gym/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/deleted-by-user.1271523 https://theredarchive.com/post/1271523

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