[deleted by user]

GrandRub · 2021-09-23T14:36:48+00:00

why shouldnt they? they want to date/fuck you now ... and not some "potential".

"potential" is nothing - "potential" is like a good idea for your next billion dollar startup. worthless.

ReturnDisastrous · 2021-09-23T11:34:42+00:00

It depends on the age of the women. If they are young early 20s then they are willing to go for potential

But the older the women gets the less tolerant they get of your current potential shortfall

gbizzle2 · 2021-09-23T12:23:24+00:00

When you buy something from the store do you give a fuck about the actual product working the way you'd like or do you care more about pOtEnTiAL

MrNobody___ · 2021-09-23T10:46:16+00:00

If you're focusing only in a physical aspect of the potential, you may be right. You need to be hot if you want a girl to be horny for you.

But in general women's date with potential everywhere and they have shit relationship waiting for the guy to change.

bucketshire · 2021-09-23T14:54:05+00:00

Once I had the same thaught: i could start approaching and dating now, but I am poor and have little muscle. Lucky for me I have a good Character. So if I start approaching now, I will only get the 99% girls that I want, not the 100%.

I could first work for two years and get high quality individual clothes and work out to get a great physique but the disadvantage is that i would miss something, the girls, kissen and the opportunity to develope my Character even more.

So i decided to do both at the same time! I approached girls in the clubs, in parks and in parties. I quickly noticed that my results had been extremly good. (Just do it!) I pulled girl almost every weekend, i would say hot girls. While doing that, my finances grow, my body developed because i worked out too.

After two years, i had EVERYTHING ! I had a great health and body, had enoug money to buy whatever I wanted, I had unbelievable Relationships and Memories, I had a developed personality, I was greatful for my job that was really fun. And then, I saw that one girl on instagram. She was my dream girl, perfectly looking, exactly my type. I knew what to do and I wrote her and we met the next day. The appointment went perfect, there was big sparkling between us and I could fucked her immidiatly but we waited. After 3 Months she ask me to be a couple and now we are in a really happy relationship for 1½ years. I aimed for the realationship and the sex was a side goal, we fucked almost on every date night but i was only a little achievement compared to the realationship. My conclusion is: -raise your standards -by doing nothing, you will achieve nothing, work hard, play hard -dont think about if girls see your potential or not, just be great and she will fall in love automaticly

JacobMoogberg69 · 2021-09-23T11:45:06+00:00

I look at it like this. There is the raw material needed for sexual attraction and then there is everything else, which is icing on the cake.

Let's take women for example. Everyone has met or at least seen women that are naturally beautiful and they would be beautiful and attractive with no make up, hair does and dressed in a potato sack. You will find her sexually attractive. Everything else she adds on top of this, like make up, hair, clothes, high heels, having an interesting job, being charming, well travelled, etc is icing on the cake. The less a woman has of the raw material for sexual attraction, the more she needs to rely on the icing to interest a man.

Same for men. Your muscles, nice clothes, career, possessions are icing on the cake. Question is how much of the raw material for sexual attraction do you have? If you have little or none, than your entire game is what material possessions can you exchange for sex and affection.

What is the raw material for sex appeal you may ask? I believe two things - low tolerance for BS and high testosterone. The less susceptible you are to a woman's bs, drama and tantrums trying to control you, the more attractive you are. Testosterone is what makes you a man, it what makes you focused, confident and risk taking. You can increase your T levels through exercise, hanging out with beautiful women, winning and diet.

ANewOriginalUsername · 2021-09-23T11:46:42+00:00

I get the point you're trying to make, but there are a lot more aspects to consider if a girl was to see a guys potential or not.

Going with your example, yes if the girl knows the overweight guy on a personal level for many years compared to having just met him and chatted for a few weeks over text, then yes it is possible for her to see the potential in him getting into better shape one day, however if it is the latter situation it's more of a risk to take his word of him saying he is working on himself and coincidentally just signed up for a gym membership the day after they met as words and short term actions very rarely translate to long term results

barrymanilowsnose · 2021-09-23T14:10:21+00:00

Yeah, as an obese person I definitely feel like like weight gets weighted way higher than other problems when selecting a mate. I've gone through long periods of my life both fit and obese. Fitness is a problem that's relatively easy to fix compared to other major problems in life. It's easier to cut calories than it is to get a degree that gets you a job in your industry, save money, defeat a drug addiction, become a compassionate person, etc... Yet fit jerk junkies in a shit job drowning in college debt with empty bank accounts seem to get way better treatment in dating than obese, but financially stable and successful men who otherwise have few vices. Like I kinda understand why, and I know at the end of the day I can just become fit, but it makes me a little sad inside knowing just how shallow standards can be.

mystylejay · 2021-09-23T16:06:40+00:00

You choose the restaurant basing on how good the chef cooks the meat, not on how s/he might be good at cooking it one day.

So, yes: always have a nice, fresh dish to catch customers. It"s not only for women, it is for everyone.

If, in addition, you show you are progressively improving your menu, your customers will be more and more excited, and will build a stronger link with you.

Short story long: I can wait for your potential to explode, but in the meanwhile give me a snack of it.

MuMuGorgeus · 2021-09-23T16:45:56+00:00

That's a great concept. And it makes sense. I just think you need some exposure and there's only one way to do that. By having romantic interactions with women.

I don't like the idea of hooking up with a girl just because I can or it's easier. There's gotta be some real attraction going on, and the woman I want are either badass and strong or drop dead gorgeous (usually both).

I don't think women see me as high value man. So I think improving and going for it now and then is the only way for us (assuming your thesis is right).

GoldenpickleNinja · 2021-09-23T16:17:20+00:00

I think they do take into account potential. Med students get girls because they will be high earning doctors even though the could potentially dropout.

xNilon · 2021-09-23T16:33:53+00:00

I also thought about it like that for a short time and it is true, but if you actually think about it, that's nothing that only women do and it's nothing you can criticise on women in general. In the end, do we guys look for potential "hot" girls (whatever it is that is defined as hot by each man)? No, and why should we? There are always plenty of hot fish in the sea for us so it would be pretty illogical to go for potential "hot" because the chance of a girl not achieving her potential is always bigger than if you directly take the already "hot" girl. The risk would be higher than the possible reward.

CBDsamuel25 · 2021-09-23T17:39:16+00:00

Well I mean potential can be intangible to others. I think everyone is different though, it may be less common and take time, but it’s not nonexistent.

Radio_Unique · 2021-09-23T17:42:58+00:00

Intelligent Women check u up base on character now and achievements now, for stability reason.

sounds stupid if girl will like a bad, dumb, abuser no money to support kinda man and hope for he will change for future. Even u won’t allow ur future baby girl to choose this kind of man

2021-09-23T17:44:00+00:00

Both but they don't really care that much about potential unless they like you already, meaning you have good things going for you right now and it looks like you'll be better in the future. If you're an average jobless loser with nothing going on, they don't care how much potential you have because its worthless at that point.

userisauser · 2021-09-23T18:51:47+00:00

You should definitely be your best physical self, first. If nothing else, to eliminate that as a variable.

truthbomb999 · 2021-09-23T19:45:31+00:00

It doesn't seem like women are either good at evaluating potential or rather don't care to do so.

Correct. It's all about what you have now. Forward planning isn't a common trait.

Given you have some level of seduction skill.

Not everyone has this skill or has developed it

A dude can get exhausted mining the ore with his mediocre equipment, but have better time-reward ratio with his more efficient equipment

If you don't know how to drill using basic equipment, why would it be better using industrial equipment with no knowledge?

Just don't put too much time or energy into it, but you should develop yourself

2021-09-23T20:06:09+00:00

How long do you hold off for, though?

When I was in my 20s, I said two criteria have to be met before I start dating

1) A proper, non agency, non temp job

2) Move out of my parent's house and into my own place.

I am now approaching my mid 30s and regrets of what I never had. NEVER wait. NEVER EVER WAIT. The best time is NOW!

Otherwise, you will never speak to women, like I never did.

Oh and that SMV rubbish that middle aged men can get the pretty young girls that they couldn't get when they were young? Complete bollocks. You'll just be condemned as a creep and a nonce.

hob814 · 2021-09-23T20:15:26+00:00

Because its easy to talk, what matters is how welling you are to do the work. So it is easier and more accurate to judge you on what you have now

Imreallytired2301 · 2021-09-23T21:22:01+00:00

Build yourself first than once established you have all the power, this applies on both sides men and women because once you know your worth being turned down would be a huge miss out on the person rejecting you

DryAdhesiveness6579 · 2021-09-23T22:53:17+00:00

your analogy is flawed. your comparing relationships not just of the opposite sex but relationship in general to equipment and looking at life from a unhealthy perspective.

Life is about experiences and putting off experiences till you’re the best at some unknown or arbitrary goal is dumb. It’s about growth, you need to get off reddit.

DiabolousAvocado · 2021-09-23T23:22:22+00:00

Let’s be realistic; would you really want to pick somebody for what they COULD be but may never be? Especially if you’ve been in a series of bad relationships solely due to choosing out of mere potential?

Exactly.

For those of you still struggling...take some time off. Seriously. Find new things to define yourselves with so that you’re more than potential. Wanna know the main reason I post more here than elsewhere? Because sadly I used to define myself by my success in dating & that’s the thing I know best. I don’t want you guys making the same mistake.

MisterShogunate · 2021-09-23T23:58:16+00:00

Whatever you are evaluating in your overall value as a man, it should be based on some experience on that field otherwise you are literally basing all this on nothing but feelings and impressions which are not that reliable. Go out, try to get laid and then see where your sticking points are.

Dating is always something that you need to bootstrap unless you are really young. You could wait 2 years to work on one thing you think is important only to realize you should have been focusing on something else totally different once you get out there.

2021-09-24T01:03:00+00:00

You might miss your opportunity to improve more if you aren't in battle.

OThinkingDungeons · 2021-09-24T01:16:18+00:00

I'm just going to point out that dating anyone with the intent of changing them is morally and logically flawed.

Be the best you can be, either in or outside of a relationship. Being in a relationship should not be the end goal, one's personal motivations should extend much further than that. The reason anyone should want to be the best is because that simply means a better quality of life and the freedom of choice.

my_name_isnt_cool · 2021-09-24T01:55:09+00:00

This makes....no sense. It's ridiculous. An overweight guy can be an MMA fighter if he wanted to? Like...why is he waiting for someone to come around to "unlock his full potential"? Sounds like something you'd say to try to trap someone into a relationship with you. Never be surprised if a woman turns you down because you COULD be a really rich lawyer or a successful entrepreneur. They'd be smart and walk away.

nikovagu · 2021-09-24T05:34:36+00:00

I have so much potential to win the lotto

Hotcoco2506 · 2021-09-24T09:49:46+00:00

I used to (and still do in many men) see the ‘potential’ but the reality is, no matter how much I see it the man isn’t here and usually doesn’t treat me well. Personally, I no longer focus of what a man ‘could be’ because usually, if you get stuck on that when the guy isn’t being the best in the presence, you’re just falling for someone who doesn’t exist.

JasinSan · 2021-09-24T11:50:43+00:00

You ain't a stock share - they wont evaluate you like investments. This way of thinking its what a "god boys" think, and that's exactly the reason why they are a laughing stock.

First and foremost you need to understand that relationships are about feelings not facts. You really can go as far as saying that you are a worst possible option for her, and she should be aware because if she fall in love in you she will probably end with broken hearth. I know multiple girls who are in relationships with fucked up guys exactly because they ware hungry of emotions. Most of them knew its a bad idea to get invested in those guys but still they cannot help themself.

EDIT: Think about drugs - everyone knew they are bad but ppl take them anyway. Why? Because they allows them to feel something that they are unable to fell other way.

IMO same goes for dating a "bad guy" - roller-coaster of emotions is so tempting that they cannot help themselves.

Thetruthisneeded · 2021-09-24T12:30:59+00:00

Firstly, it is detrimentally prevalent for women to be with/stay with a man for his potential, it's how women wind up in more bad relationships than men. It's why there's always jokes about women trying to "change their men".

Also, when do you see men dating women for potential, based on what you've said, why should women have to it?

Also, what sense does it make for anyone to date for potential??!!??? Why would a person hinge the quality of their life (if the partners wind up intertwining their lives) on potential???

Stunning-Honeydew69 · 2021-09-24T01:25:21+00:00

“Potential” is a nice way of saying what you are capable of. If we don’t see the person taking the steps in order to become what they are capable of.

As for your realistic example…we get that also in our own ways but ultimately If she doesn’t take the time to go past what a guy just looks like then she isn’t worth your time!

Jehuty33 · 2021-09-24T15:03:40+00:00

This is a crude response but: who cares.

Women see what they want in who they want and have a memory of a goldfish. Emotions are a temporary thing and this is where most of them reside. There are plenty of guys who don’t have anything to offer nor will they and chicks are still with them. Some dudes are detrimental or a net loss and still have girls around them.

You definitely need to work on yourself but that shouldn’t stop you from going out there. It’s obvious you need more experience and more real life experience, cuz your mindset is way off

recyclablebanthas · 2021-09-25T10:40:32+00:00

1

Is it just me or do women evaluate what you are now, not so much your potential Inner Game

A bit to parse here:

Inner game includes things like confidence. If you don't good enough inner game, fewer people will be attracted.
If your inner game is crappy enough, you'll accidentally reject yourself 100% of the time, convincing women who might still be interested, that they were wrong to be.
The idea of someone evaluating someone else based on confidence they don't have yet, doesn't make sense. Attraction isn't some rational evaluation process. People meet other people and very quickly feel some kind of way or not.

2

It doesn't seem like women are either good at evaluating potential or rather don't care to do so.

When you try a new food for the first time, you have a reaction. That reaction isn't rational or thought out. It's: food in mouth = feeling.

Similarly, no one sits there thinking about someone's confidence levels or deliberately adjusts their own feelings because someone might be more confident later. They just fucking feel something. It's not on purpose. Focusing so much on demanding other people ignore your lack of confidence in the meantime, is a waste of time because that's not how humans work.

The good news is, you can certainly level up your confidence.

Take up a new pursuit that challenges you. Something that you can see real improvement in if you work hard at it. Things like this can help build real confidence as you learn that you can trust yourself.
This stuff takes time though. There are no magic tricks. Life requires some grinding.
Focusing on how people need to cut you a break is spending your energy on something that doesn't help you get what you actually want.

3

For this reason, if you are good at building up your life, isn't it better to double down on your self and hold off on seducing at some point? Given you have some level of seduction skill.

Its like, maybe you have sub par mining equipment, instead of mining for ore, perhaps it would be better to take that time and work on the equipment, then mine later when your equipment is far more efficient.

This mentality of waiting until things are "good enough" before you can start dating people, frequently leads to just flat out giving up because it's never going to feel "good enough."

The best approach is just to go build your social skills up by finding social groups that post regular events on social media and going to those events.

Title	[deleted by user]
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	40
Comments	75
Date	September 23, 2021 10:31 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/ptsc7n/is_it_just_me_or_do_women_evaluate_what_you_are/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/deleted-by-user.1275658 https://theredarchive.com/post/1275658

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