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PrettyLittlePenguin · 2021-06-02T10:41:47+00:00

Another thing to add. You don't just wanna text a steanger: "hey, wanna date?" That almost never works out. Get some fun vibes going like you said and try to suggest the date on a high note while you talk about something fun. I usually roleplay in text and make a fun date suggestion out of that which doesn't sound like a date. This way you both have fun and she's gets interested in you as a fun person to chill with and you can take it from there.

For me the general text rule is: have fun or get a date. I don't use text to discuss topics or get to know her better, that's for the actual date. Of course, rules are also there to be broken sometimes.

Good post my man!

AloofusMaximus · 2021-06-02T16:12:14+00:00

With tinder and other OLD, the main thing you're trying to avoid, is falling into a chat trap.

The thing is inexperienced guys can't tell when a chick is just out there for some attention, looking to chat, and never actually meet up. Look around this and other dating subs and it's full of guys talking about "oh we've been chatting for 3 months, but she's never available for a date".

Once you've been doing it a while you can pick up on it a lot easier.

There definitely is a sweet spot for how much you can text. Too much talking and you can easily blow yourself out by saying something she doesn't like (or even her misinterpreting something), too little and she's likely to think you aren't interested.

Another aspect of OLD is she's being flooded with matches, dozens to hundreds possibly. Pushing for a date soon puts you from "random tinder guy" to "Guy I've gone out with once" and that's a huge difference.

Recent_Enthusiasm_35 · 2021-06-02T10:54:26+00:00

I’m glad I was able to get your new perspective on things. I’ve read mark Manson models as well, and that was thoughtful of you to realize the time difference because I didn’t really take that into consideration. My take away from your post was that I need to be less serious and less by the book. For example, taking a certain amount of time to text back, playing hard to get etc.... it’s just not worth the energy wasted. Granted, that doesn’t mean being super needy and texting them back like a maniac, it just means taking all of the tips and tricks dating “experts” give you with a grain of salt. Less thinking, more doing=less stress and more mindfulness

AJAY_SS · 2021-06-02T19:25:54+00:00

What I do these days and which seems to work is just keep talking on tinder with a good flow for 3 evenings straight and then suggest a date. I got 3 dates in one week 😅

I think this works as I'm showing just enough interest to get to know each other better, but do not really seem to care to switch from platform.

I also use the line: "you're not on here for yet another chat convo, are you?" Which does well. Lol

treesplease12 · 2021-06-02T11:25:03+00:00

Agreed, this get number->text "Hey blah blah what does your schedule look like this week to grab a drink together?" Is bad texting. You will get better results testing the waters, spiking her buying temperature, vibing, getting investment, soft closing and then hard closing. I seen this personally. I also manage to keep leads warm for longer. I don't go for instagrams or snaps tho.

MasterTeacher123 · 2021-06-02T11:43:36+00:00

I try to set up the in person as soon as possible. But I tend to call and FaceTime more than texting. It’s more intimate and harder to be put on the back burner. If the girl is serious and really feeling me she has no problem with this.

I think the important thing to note is what exactly is the guy texting about? Is it boring bull shit like what’s your favorite hobby? Or is he actually trying to push her buttons sexually.

towerandhorizon · 2021-06-02T21:06:59+00:00

A lot of the "old guard" pickup "experts" are now middle-aged men. Mark Manson hasn't been a single guy running game in quite a while. While there may be some timeless principles to all of this, you have to also account for generational changes, in how people communicate and connect, when applying something written years ago based on what worked at least a few years prior to that. I'm having my own learning curve, as a middle-aged man, understanding how to use things like IG, SC, Tinder, Bumble, etc...when it seemed like it was way easier 15-20 years ago to just walk out on the street and cold approach because there were less distractions for a woman, never mind this whole pandemic, and how that has changed social interaction, in general.

HitboxOfASnail · 2021-06-02T13:35:43+00:00

You're confusing two different concepts.

What Models and other material suggest about the limited texting is assuming you've actually built some sort of in person interaction and then trying to follow up to coordinate dating logistics via texting.

What you're talking about is trying to land a date from tinder, which is basically like cold approaching via text. That's entirely different. If you match on tinder or something and then just send 1 or 2 texts to ask for a date, that's like cold approaching someone in the street and not saying anything except "when are you free to go on a date?"

18cmOfGreatness · 2021-06-02T16:39:36+00:00

If you want to know how to properly text the girls then check playingfire dude.

Hmmkey · 2021-06-02T17:34:23+00:00

I think it’s general good advice for guys that get into chat relations that spend weeks texting and not meeting. I had the same experience I got my routines of texting quite a lot but I started to get results, when I tried to text way less my results plummeted. Now I have re calibrated, and I basically have certain milestones I need to get to which can happen in 5 mins or 3 days of texting.

iTopMostly · 2021-06-02T23:08:52+00:00

I’ll take some “engaging text tips” if anyone has some.

I’d agree cold texting is weird or atleast not natural if you’re not flirty or witty. I’ve realized voice notes do an amazing job also because it can convey more than a few words on the screen.

vendetta_vera · 2021-06-02T23:12:13+00:00

I always followed the rule becouse I hate texting so I thought "hey a rule that I won't have problems to implement", but dang it, I see your point and I think you are right. Still I gotta say, sometimes this whole picking up girls feels like a goddam full time job.

LiveWrath · 2021-06-03T05:23:08+00:00

Can somebody give an example of how to be fun while texting? I always fall in the trap of asking default get to know questions. Any example would be great cause almost always I end up getting left on read.

22Process22 · 2021-06-03T10:59:51+00:00

When I went online I started studying different text gurus. They always said to be short and concise. I tried that. Sending long winded messages worked better for me.

They said don’t double text. So I would triple and quadruple text. It doesn’t matter what you do. It matters how you feel about what you do.

Don’t obsess over every. And, this is a process. And if you’re this kind of guy who’s practicing and giving feedback. This means you’re going to win. And you’re going to win very soon. And you’re going to keep winning.

caesarfecit · 2021-06-02T13:42:51+00:00

This is just a tale of two mediums.

The "only text to sort out logistics" is a rule that comes from meeting ppl IRL and wanting to keep the intrigue and anticipation going. Very easy to over-text in these situations and it doesn't help you.

Whereas on Tinder and online dating apps in general, you must use text game because you don't know that person IRL. If you go into a Tinder match trying to set up a date right away, no small talk, well that's just weird.

Pedalcrunch · 2021-06-02T13:04:45+00:00

cool, good to know, gotta try different things!

mightyigor · 2021-06-02T14:15:14+00:00

I agree with OP in terms of how texting etc is far more prevalent in this Social Media dominated age. It just makes sense to text more, add a girl on Insta/Snap etc and even if you don't land her right away, you can still keep things warm, essentially.

I have a couple questions for OP though: What's your social media like? Obviously you don't have to share a link or anything; I'm more so curious if you have to be part of the 1000+ Followers, Influencer camp to get her attention etc or just have a good profile and consistent presence?

I think we really shouldn't neglect the importance of having a dope, well put together social media presence in helping with social proof.

RoddyChooch · 2021-06-02T15:28:51+00:00

My man

shipsAreWeird123 · 2021-06-02T18:32:41+00:00

Super interesting! I 24f don't give out my number or snap/insta before meeting cause I feel it's not super safe, and usually when that happens I don't end up actually ever meeting up with the person. Instead I end up getting dick pics and harassment.

It's awesome that it's working for you though! maybe I'll have to reconsider

JoeTheImpaler · 2021-06-02T18:38:47+00:00

I love mark manson. The subtle art of not giving a fuck is an amazing self help book

NateHate1402 · 2021-06-02T21:48:48+00:00

Honestly I’ve had success with both, I think it has more to do with what type of person they are and what they’re looking for.

It’s like Todd V says the answer to every question in game/seduction is “it depends”

Title	[deleted by user]
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	169
Comments	62
Date	June 2, 2021 10:09 AM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/nqiemm/i_dropped_the_only_text_to_set_up_a_date_rule_and/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/deleted-by-user.1283348 https://theredarchive.com/post/1283348

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