Pathetic

recyclablebanthas · 2020-05-04T03:57:09+00:00

Just some notes to add to what you've said:

1

Seduction, Dating and "Game" all have a bad wrap mainly due to one issue: egotistical assh*les who get so deep into this stuff they sell their souls.

The culture of growing into manhood actively discourages empathy in favor of toughness. Being stoic and otherwise impervious to the emotions of others, and not being too introspective about one's own emotional situation, are encouraged.

The overall culture leads to a few unfortunate things:

Empathy is a key component of calibrating one's actions on the path to "seduction," a lot of men graduate high school at a huge disadvantage when it comes to how to navigate social interactions in order to get what they want.
- Guys often have to learn how to read a room or people, whereas women spent their formative years doing so.
Guys who buck the trend and develop their empathy, often face social consequences. Being bullied or portrayed as weak or gay, etc. If they're not solid enough in their confidence, they can easily end up with a confidence problem holding them back. The irony being that they may know girls are interested, but simply lack the ability to act on the knowledge.
Girls are encouraged to learn dance while men are encouraged to learn sports. Girls stereotypically do ballet while boys do little league.
- All the exposure to dance actually pays off in greater comfort in social situations like dances, parties, and clubs.
- Meanwhile men end up choosing whether to be the guy who just doesn't dance because that's for wussies, or the guy who has to humble himself to pick up a new skill.

2

There are certainly guys who sell their souls as PUAs trying to sell services or products.

On the other side of it, are dudes who are the result of a culture that hamstrings them as they grow up.

And through it all, there are men out there who are just trying to figure it all out, but their lack of developed empathy/calibration, leads them to compensate with male bravado and pushing harder, which easily leads to frustration, if not harassment charges or social isolation.

3

Another common issue among men is the desire to almost "make up for lost time" or get social revenge on those people they saw as social gatekeepers when they were in high school.

So when some of those formerly awkward dudes figure out game at all, it's common for them to go into overdrive, using people to get back at the world, etc.

thedudesmashes · 2020-05-04T01:30:07+00:00

[permanently deleted]

Bdog5k · 2020-05-04T08:02:24+00:00

This is coming from someone that was in a really bad spot. Young, overweight, and awkward as hell. It was quite pathetic and I hated myself.

I wanted to be in a better spot. So I have improved my health, style, got into hobbies, started reflecting on how I act, and am working towards a career. Actually being a better man.

For some reason instead of working to improve themselves so that people want to be around them, people would rather dump time into learning elaborate ways to trick people into wanting to be around them.

Do you. If it ain’t enough, do you better.

Goldenpanda18 · 2020-05-04T11:07:55+00:00

An author said:

"The bigger the industry is around a self help topic, the more people are struggling to accomplish those goals"

In other words, there is no one way of how to be confident, approach women, get fit.

There's so many ways and guides but there isn't a definite solution. If there was wouldn't we all be confident, fit and have 0 problems approaching women?

_HughMyronbrough_ · 2020-05-04T05:21:23+00:00

If I may, I personally know about 10 dudes who got into PUA stuff. This was 8-10 years ago, during its heyday, and they knew about Mystery, RSD, Mark Manson, etc.

None of them really got anything out of it. Years later, the majority of them are married/LTR to a woman they met thru work/social circle. Some are incels.

I'm not a pickup artist or dating advice guy (no I take that back, a few Mexican moms at my clinic asked me why their "son is 26 and hasn't had a girlfriend yet"...I'm not sure why they think a physician would be useful there), but I would tell men to focus on their careers and getting fit, rest will work itself out.

Torch1999 · 2020-05-04T12:35:13+00:00

The problem is thanks to the media, even guy (me included) who are doing all they can to become the best and most attractive version of themselves, meet people they like and have a fun time - are regarded as "manipulators".

Like f no, what idiot would say that someone who works legitimately on themselves (and wants to meet new people in a non try hard and positive way) is a manipulator and a bad person.

Yet that's the world we live in..

Mr_82 · 2020-05-04T05:42:04+00:00

Agreed, I actually downvoted that guy because it seemed like he was making a dogwhistle for people to shit on this sub and men in general. The fact that others look to attack this sub is misandry on its own.

ttrinh6 · 2020-05-04T03:17:20+00:00

Thank you both for the wonderful lessons I will learn this by heart and practice it till I can be natural not superficial

NocAdsl · 2020-05-04T04:57:12+00:00

i dont even know why the fuck im here :D i haven't talked to a girl in years :D sorry pep, im out :) gl

yaboyyyyt · 2020-05-06T04:59:58+00:00

Seduction isn’t an inherently sexist pursuit, but a lot of the guys on the subreddit are mad sexist and see women as objects, like a nightstand with a fleshlight duct taped to it that can reject them. But I also see a lot of really great advice on here that could just be applied to approaching people and holding their interest in general. This is basically r/masteringconversationwithwomen, but some dudes like to make seduction look like a magic trick you need to learn through

I got bored of writing tl;dr I agree

Marvinkmooneyoz · 2020-05-04T04:12:43+00:00

Thats not even why it has a bad wrap. It has a bad wrap because a) women dont want to beleive that that is how their attraction works and b) they dont like when less good-looking/pre-selected/socially capable men try to seduce them. In fact they hate it.

EveryIceStorm · 2020-05-04T02:56:58+00:00

This was a screenshot of a now removed post on this sub and is why people talk trash about the people here. Not saying this is everyone, or even the majority. But stuff like this is an example. . this garbage person

SteroidsFreak · 2020-05-04T06:21:24+00:00

Eh, I can see things from both perspectives. If you were literally offended then maybe work on yourself instead of worrying about what others think about you. We can take what he said as a motivational speech or attach oneself to being pathetic. This is the part you decide what your fate or outcome will look like. Making a post about this, just proves what he said triggered you.

blueidiot314 · 2020-05-04T04:50:26+00:00

I don't think most of the advice in seduction forums, or books is that helpful. Most of it is common sense and a numbers game.

Title	Pathetic
Author	thedudesmashes
Upvotes	325
Comments	53
Date	May 3, 2020 10:44 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/gczvj1/pathetic/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/pathetic.1306190 https://theredarchive.com/post/1306190

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