Do you approach enough?

LiamGatsby · 2021-04-14T01:28:04+00:00

"Everyone has funny stories about being rejected, dating, weird sex. Don't worry about making mistakes because mistakes end up being good stories for your dates."

I love this line!

Upbeat-Explanation85 · 2021-04-13T23:10:45+00:00

The "book of pook" or "art of seduction" free on YouTube, is a good place to start , approach anxiety is triggered by your flight or flight instinct, from the cave man days or pounding your chest shouting "I'm the leader" alpha , yet waiting to see if you can kill who challenges you or do you need to start running 😂😂,just learn to recognize it's an irrelevant instinctive reaction in modern Times,chill out , keep approaching , what have you got to lose...

brucebruce2016 · 2021-04-14T04:39:30+00:00

I try to have a conversation with every women I come in contact with. Today I talked with the lady who cut my hair. I talked with a nutritionist I saw today, turns out we went to college together and knew the same people. I talked to a younger lady who is an accountant at her work, she hates her job. I also talked to some other lady at the local gas station about energy drinks.

The more you practice the more natural it becomes.

iambrian81 · 2021-04-14T00:44:14+00:00

More approaches doesn't always lead to more result. It's a holistic approach. Tbh, if you are super fit and good-looking, you can get laid way more than dudes who are fat and approaches thousands of chicks.

You cannot outmarket a shitty product. Work on the product(meaning you) then approach enough to get decent social calibration.

Wilcard30 · 2021-04-14T02:30:06+00:00

I’m curious of what girls takes on this would be. I think many girls would say they would rather not have a guy randomly approach them unless they are familiar in some way.

Curiousnaturally · 2021-04-14T03:00:50+00:00

I am wondering if a woman would have same advice for single men.

putcoolusernamehere · 2021-04-14T01:14:01+00:00

I haven't approached in over a year and a month due to the pandemic. Looking to get back into after my vax fully kicks in 3 weeks from now.

eitherbakedorbaking · 2021-04-14T01:47:42+00:00

"Learn to accept rejection as an opinion and not a truth about yourself. " Fucking gold, my friend. You also don't even have to go so far...there could be a million reasons as to why a woman may not want to pursue something with you: she's not single, she's still getting over her ex, you just aren't her type, etc.

I am a woman. I will tell you, there are few people out there with whom I truly connect. Because I am looking for deeper compatibility, I treat dating as I believe men, and everyone, should: a numbers game (to a certain extent). Have fun, put yourself out there, flirt with the world, and when you meet someone with whom you connect, see where things go.

sqcaw23 · 2021-04-14T08:41:09+00:00

Fellas yal do know women for the most part have been locked in the house during the pandemic. They are going to be on the hunt. Like it's going to be falling in your lap if you have your shit together. You just have to be confident enough to say hello. Women are alot friendlier than we think and typically if your neat and seem confident she's going to respect your masculine energy. A big thing I'm realizing that men seem to lack are life building skills and interpersonal skills(mainly how we deal with rejection). You literally have to fail enough times at something before you develop a muscle. If any of you fellas worked in retail vs a desk job did you notice some of you social skills went away too. We have to develop those because women pay keen attention to more non verbal cues then verbal. Stay motivated on learning, staying active, developing your social life but also focus focus focus on cold approaching women. You will suck at first but after each approach you will learn something, you will also realize that most of the stuff that stops us is in our head and not from the auctual interactions.

YetzirahToAhssiah · 2021-04-14T01:27:37+00:00

As a man who rejected much of stupid gender roles as a child, I can assure you that emotions are not "women's language."

HuddleHouse88 · 2021-04-13T22:14:04+00:00

Well said

Redidts-forscrubs · 2021-04-14T01:36:04+00:00

Its actually really simple,you have to come to terms with the outcomes of things you’re doing,either you get rejected or you don’t,people have to learn that failing is not bad and if you’re not failing then you may not be doing something right

Throwitawaygood · 2021-04-14T05:14:01+00:00

You have to approach first, you have to put yourself out there.

I struggle with this part. If we both want a rewarding, mutual attraction-having relationship, then why is it always the guy gotta push it? My reward is not greater. So why does my investment have to be?

This thought process holds me back and has done for 20 years (I'm old) but I struggle getting past the unfairness.

deepak8717 · 2021-04-14T05:17:54+00:00

I am staying at my hometown since last 1 year due to pandamic. Very small population and i have send lots of messsges on different apps on internet made few pretty good , time pass friends/gfs

Curiousnaturally · 2021-04-14T05:47:54+00:00

Not really. I am trying to see whether there is any consensus by women of the reddit on this subject or not. Or any other alternate advice.

Personally I don't mind admitting I don't understand women generally.

Alfa_HiNoAkuma · 2021-04-14T07:37:50+00:00

You sort of opened my eyes, though I still feel insecure about my body, I feel you are right, don't stop till you get a yes. Hope I haven't misunderstood anything, thanks

Arabian_Bi-Prince · 2021-04-14T08:18:45+00:00

It's all about making a connection, the process just like U said it

AdBig2932 · 2021-04-14T12:14:33+00:00

First thing I’d say is more sure you’re good enough yourself before you start any commitments. I believe you need to be financially and emotionally stable to pursue anything, because once you start dating their problems and issues become your issues.

YungBuck50 · 2021-04-14T01:41:11+00:00

Too ugly to approach

FlyingPotatoelol · 2021-04-14T02:52:55+00:00

Probably gonna get told to read the whole thing but. "Until you get a yes"? Is that harassment kinda?

sqcaw23 · 2021-05-24T04:24:12+00:00

Models

Sweetlikecream · 2021-04-14T10:06:41+00:00

I love this subreddit😂 The rest of the men on reddit think women are supposed to be approaching 🤦🏽‍♀️

dfsfsdfsdcvcadasdea · 2021-04-13T23:22:31+00:00

I dont approach

I just wait until a girl gives me eye-contact, then I hold it and the girl approaches me, starts to give me kino, and then I have to take the lead from there

taking the lead is really hard for me, but its usually essential once the buying temperature is high

Huwpiggin · 2021-04-13T23:17:14+00:00

the reasons most nice guys dont get laid is because of the reality that if they push it fails the relaionship, and if they pull, then they play further away from a woman. If nice guys buy girls presents then they push, but then that gets rejected because its being too nice, and gets rejected by women resulting in the friendzone because giving gifts and presents to a girl too much is evolutionarily the problem inside men and womens psychology of all the symptomatic issues that a person who molests children does. The nice guy gives girls presents, but at the same time soo does a molester. as a result just as how women don't tell the nice guy the reason they don't get laid is because they remind them of the over emotionaly invested person whom has affection for girls, they don't recognise why its wrong, because its reasoning isn't publicated and as a result it makes perfect sense to the nice guy, but all the reasons arent given, as a result the nice guy won't do it, because otherwise they become like the shits that take advantage of girls and manipulate them. Thus honourable nice males that want to infvest in women and will treat them nicely are selfless and benefic enough to jump to save another persons life, are born only as a minority and sherlocked into being the one person that jumps in front of a train to save someone and ends up dead, simultaneously they run into a burning building to save someone, and then girls ask where are all the nice gentlemen that will appreciate me, and there standing right next to you covered inb scars and bruises or 3rd degree burns making them non-applicable for reproduction. Dick heads remain the majority global population thus theres more abuse to girls, more dickheads as the global majority and dick heads reproduce because of women with the sin of lust, and the reality bad guys are up for rape and so will just say what ever to get laid. thus because the gentlemen can't get laid they are always a minority and all of us end up dead by the time were 30. its a global issue, which is why there is always another problem, and the population of human decency is is constant cyclical decline, followed by reproduction as a result of you saved me from abuse and were my knight in shining armor thus i will have sex with you only because i was abused and therefore under non-valid consent, which then pushes the population of human decency back up. only for it to redecline., were in a human decency mode now because of ww2.

f4stEddie · 2021-04-14T04:42:23+00:00

Something interesting I noticed, don’t give up after the first “rejection” some women like to test you to see if you keep asking or just give up after a try. They liked being chased lol

Bierak · 2021-04-14T05:29:05+00:00

Since the recent rise of feminism I developed a cautious attitude and slight fear to approach. In the past I was more active, I took the initiative, I had a more confident "bad boy" and "I don't give a fuck" attitude, I was more inclined to make risky proposals. At present I don't feel comfortable doing that, because I don't know if the other person is going to accept it or react by accusing me of being macho, abusive, of "objectifying the female body," of micromachism or harassment. For example, as a general rule, I do not send more than 3 text messages in a row if they do not respond to me, because there is a risk that you will be accused of harassment, something that did not happen in the past, because people did not have an internalized set of schemas for interpreting some actions in a (semi)automatic ways. The same happens about talking to someone you don't know in the street, I don't know if the other person will think I'm a harasser. This precautions have a basis behind that, because I have read and see about others being called in such way by doing those things. The same with the issue of kissing, in the past it was not a rule, at least in my country, to ask the other person if I could kiss her, it is more, every time I asked in the past, they told me that "That thing should not be asked" , in the present it is better to ask because you never know if the other person is going to react negatively, you don't know if for the other person it is rule to ask. Social relationships are more confused in the present than in the past (10 years ago).

It is a problem, because I grew up in my adolescence with a fear of not making women feel "uncomfortable", of not being invasive for them, which caused me to be very passive in relation to them. It was very liberating for me to learn to leave that attitude behind, to feel more secure and less afraid of what others might think or interpret, and for a long time it worked, I started to get better. In the present I simply try to be neutral in attitude (neither passive, nor very active) and pleasant, rather than waiting for them to show interest, and also trying to focus on signs that attract attention: appearance, clothing, purchasing power, the superficial aspects.

So, for now, it depends more on women than of me, I don't approach like in my 20s (I'm 31).

jubjub4321 · 2021-04-13T22:30:14+00:00

What was the name of the book?

alternate_paths777 · 2021-04-14T03:43:38+00:00

I'm having trouble with determining if people who say "just approach women" are referring to talking to women that they already have an established connection with, or random women they are seeing for the first time. I've been told that you are more successful with attracting a woman who has seen you at least a few times rather than a woman at a bar or on the street.

PECOSbravo · 2021-04-14T04:53:42+00:00

DO I MAKE YOU RANDY

softestforyou · 2021-04-14T05:57:49+00:00

what book is this?

wildfuckinghunk · 2021-04-14T09:23:13+00:00

I think the success rates of cold approaching in some reserved countries like India, Bangladesh, Nepal etc is very low. Because here the women are already being repeatedly harassed, the crimes against women are very high making the women to be constantly in defensive/bitchshield mode. Most of the women here are reserved/cold / defensive due to many factors stated above + reserved culture. I strongly believe the location/locality/ Nation/ Urban/rural factor does paly a huge impact in the success rate of attracting / cold approaching women. I have cold approached around 12 to 13 Indian women, out of which 2 responded rudely, few ignored me, few actually interacted with me to some extent but finally no one gave their contact number/ not interested in meeting up later. What do you dudes say??

Sam__J_ · 2021-04-14T23:53:00+00:00

Approaching is something that I really want to get into, but I seem to have a mental block that stops me. I think one of the things that stops me is I haven't really physically talked to people about approaching women in the daytime, aside from two friends who weren't really on board with the idea. Would any of you guys wanna talk about this stuff either on the phone or over some other technology? Like actually talk, not text lol.

LakersAreTerrible25 · 2021-04-15T06:01:43+00:00

I only approach and date short punjabi, latina or black girls (my types). I'm studying software eng in school, so I really only meet guy friends through class. For background I'm white, making there be even less options of those girls for me. Although my school overall is packed with girls of those ethnicities. Giving me enough consistent opportunities, but nothing crazy

ggggggggzzzz · 2021-04-15T13:44:54+00:00

What's the book that you read ?

NewGrad222 · 2021-05-13T21:54:19+00:00

I can't approach any more as an ugly guy or I'll go to jail lol.

Women HATE ugly guys approaching.

Title	Do you approach enough?
Author	sqcaw23
Upvotes	581
Comments	98
Date	April 13, 2021 9:38 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/mqc791/do_you_approach_enough/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/do-you-approach-enough.1512553 https://theredarchive.com/post/1512553

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