So last semester, I was dealing with serious depression. I stopped my anti depressants and was sober the whole time. Literally could barely get out of bed most days and was too depressed to do anything most days, I struggled most days and just completely out of gas on everything.
So I had this one class where a girl was on my row. She was kinda interested in me at first glance, I’m tall and good looking but even then, most girls ignore everyone here especially dudes. At first, we made small talk and I remember she was ok with talking to me but kinda luke-warm interest.
From there, I fucked up on an assignment I worked on with her and I apologized quite a but because I felt awful that my depression was tanking our projects. She kinda side eyed me and whatever. I figured I fucked up my chances with her after that so I gave up.
From there, I decided I didn’t give a fuck because my libido was tanked as well as my energy levels. I simply dressed how I wanted and showed up to class not giving a fuck about any girl in that class or anyone. I didn’t make eye contact and just did what I wanted. Now after a while, the girl in my row started talking to other dudes and I ignored it. Then she said “I kinda want to sit in another row because I like that group over there” and I still didn’t budge.
Then, as weeks went on, she started to like me more. Every time she’d talk to me, she would giggle like crazy. Playing with her hair, trying to look pretty in class, all that jazz. I swear, EVERY TIME I talked to her, she would smile and giggle. Then, a girl in the back of class picked up on this and BAM she’s trying to join our conversation and even complimented my clothes one day and started giggling when we talked. Then ANOTHER girl from across the classroom kept glancing at me every chance I looked over.
Class ended, I didn’t get with any of them because again, my libido was so shot to shit that even if she invited me back to her dorm, idk if I would have been able to “get it up”. But I never received that much female attention in college just from one class in my life. There were other dudes in that class that got completely ignored too. I even walked out of class with the girl from my row a few times and she was playing with her hair and giggling the whole time. I was completely unfazed and didn’t care about her approval because I was dead inside lmao.
Back then, I’d have been on this sub looking for ways to game this chick but when I wanted her the LEAST I’ve ever wanted a girl, she was on me like white on rice. It’s not fair because I was basically asexual due to how depressed I was and I couldn’t be bothered to try to win her approval or play games with any girl in there. These were CUTE girls, too. I have her number and everything, but I told her I was going through a depression which is NOT what you ever tell people (especially girls) when you barely know them. I’m debating texting her to go for drinks in her home town.
What gives?
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