Does asking "are you single" makes you weird?

Opposite_Of_Sleep · 2025-07-09T22:36:28+00:00

It can be weird. But considering the fact that she said yes. Tells me she was interested.

Charge36 · 2025-07-09T22:57:38+00:00

When I do ask this I phrase it more like "are you seeing anyone?". IDK if it's better.

You can also just assume she's single until she says otherwise. Usually if you start getting flirty or pitching date ideas they will tell you if they have a boyfriend. I think this is generally a better approach than asking directly

ImpossibleBritches · 2025-07-09T22:46:10+00:00

Its fine.

Being an adult means being honest, asking for what you want and accepting what you get.

It helps if you pick your timing: be sensitive to the existing connection.

But also, if you are too focused on asking at the right time then youll get stuck in your head.

But also also, asking that question can help you get out of your head.

So just ask.

HistorianOk2573 · 2025-07-09T23:09:07+00:00

It's not smooth, (weird is not the right word to use here) it's not smooth when it's a random question that comes out of nowhere, or when it isn't even accompanied of a proper conversation. If you simply approached her and said "are you single" and then when you heard her answer you said "cool" and went on your way, yes it's not very smooth.

Asking after the end of a random conversation about work if she is single, is also not smooth because the switch up of one topic to another isn't organic. One moment you are talking about your work stuff and then another moment you ask if she is single which is a sudden transition from something professional to something personal, and comes out of nowhere instead of building up to it gradually transitioning more slowly to lighter personal stuff first and then escalating organically towards less lighter and more personal stuff like that.

It's also not smooth when that's the last thing you ask out of nowhere but you don't explain why. She might guess you may be interested, but if she guesses that AND you don't do anything about it after asking, that can easily make her believe you hesitate and that's not good.

Her saying that she is single doesn't mean she is interested or not interested. It's just neutral. In other words, she is not rejecting you, but she is not really saying "go ahead ask me out" neither, it's more like she is observing cautiously what you will do with the information without being attached to any particular outcome.

Substantial-Bad-4508 · 2025-07-09T22:50:54+00:00

Be truthful, how do you feel when someone ask if you're single? For many people it's an uncomfortable question because if you are single people may question what your value is and if are you single for a good or bad reason. In short, it's a question that can make many people feel insecure about themselves.

BroccoliMcFlurry · 2025-07-10T06:57:57+00:00

The only weird thing was not shooting your shot after she said that- she gave you a green light.

Your friend isn't involved, so his (and our) opinions don't really matter.

GameDevWannabe81 · 2025-07-10T23:08:14+00:00

Now my guy friend said that asking a girl if she is single is weird. I would like to know what you guys think. Is it weird?

Is that all he said? Did you he say something to do instead.

This is the typical case of "just sit on your ass and do nothing", its not advice, its crab bucket mentality. If someone says don't do this, don't do that, and give no alternatives and you yourself have no alternatives, they are basically implying "sit on your ass and do fuck all".

Now look, I would let her point out if she was in a relationship. But ya know what, you took action. You can learn from this experience. If you had listened to your friend and instead done fuck all, you would not of taken action.

Sure listen to advice, people are gonna give it, but its "advice" not an order. And if they give you no alternatives, then they are not really helping. Ya don't need that shit in your life.

Visualize_ · 2025-07-11T01:38:13+00:00

It's not what you say it's how you say it and the vibe you give off. If you say it super unconfident with a shaky voice then yeah it's weird. If you say it confident as fuck and are unfazed by whatever she says then it's not weird

JackSquirts · 2025-07-09T23:15:55+00:00

All depends on context. If you're having a conversation and showing a little intent, it's not weird. If you just walk up and start asking if she's single, then it's weird.

And if you do ask and she says yes, your next question should be when does she want to go out cause she's interested. You gave her the easiest out ever and if she didn't take it, the situation was only yours to fuck up.

LimbBisquet · 2025-07-10T00:45:26+00:00

No need to ask that. Just talk to her like she is one of 15 options you have.

WorthFun8261 · 2025-07-09T22:34:18+00:00

Is that the first thing you asked?

BinBag04 · 2025-07-09T22:46:11+00:00

I think it depends on context, if you’re already in conversation and learning about each other it’s okay. If you’re a bit flirty with each other it’s definitely okay. But I think if the conversation is just a courtesy convo or it’s just in its initial stages it can come off weird.

It depends on their personality too. If they’re a bit more reserved or “formal” it’s usually best to try find out through asking other questions that could tip you off and, if not, eventually tip them off into knowing what you’re really asking. Something like, if they tell you about a day out they had, asking “who did you go with? Was it like a big outing with old friends or a small family thing?”.

WebNew9978 · 2025-07-09T22:53:23+00:00

It defiantly can be but not always though.

delicious_a_vocado · 2025-07-09T23:00:28+00:00

This is the whole conversation with her.

I have known this girl for about a year and a half, and our communication has always been small. I talked to her around 20 times during that year, and when I did, it was always mainly about work.

I always found her attractive, but I never had the balls to ask her out or even to ask if she was single.

But today everything was different.

I drove to the amazon warehouse and she was doing something unusual than normal.

Me: You are doing this today?

Her: Yeah, it's whatever. You can get out (To get out of the car so I can get my packages).

Me: Only 3 packages, no way!

Her: I have no idea where they are going. Make sure you scan all of them. I will check your phone to make sure you did.

Me: Proceed to scan them.

Her: Checks my phone to make sure I scan them.

While she was doing that, I touched her boots with my foot.

Me: Are they steel-toe boots?

Her: Yes

Me: I hate them. ( I was referring to steel-toe boots in general, not to hers in specific).

Her: Yeah, I've been having them for a while.

Proceeds to give me my phone back and says to load my packages. I do and ask her if I can go, she says yes.

In my mind, I should just ask if she's single, don't be a B.

I got into my car and drove two feet. She is standing on the passenger side of my car.

Me: I do the beckoning sign.

She: Gets close to my car

Me: Are you single?

Her: I am (Smiles). Points with her right arm to go.

But says, "We will see each other tomorrow."

Other cars were coming behind me.

Questions.

What do you think about the interaction? Is the "We will see each other tomorrow" a good sign? (I think it is). Is the "Are you single?" a good question? ( I am not looking to date but to have fun around.) Anything I could have done better besides telling her that we will see each other tomorrow at a specific location (not work)?

Next time I talk to her, I will ask her to go on a date. (There, I will get her number.)

Thanks for reading, and any advice provided is welcome.

Minimum-Web-4508 · 2025-07-10T00:06:37+00:00

It depends on when/where you’ve asked. I’ve had this asked in work settings and found this very uncomfortable and intrusive.

Chomprz · 2025-07-10T00:23:26+00:00

Personally, I don’t think it’s weird. Though if you’re approaching me asking if I was single, I’d like to know why and I appreciate some directness.

COMPEWTER_adminisp · 2025-07-10T00:55:18+00:00

there is a guy in the interviews with dating gurus from David D would do this all the times, , its crazy stuff because if you analyze it truly doesn't hit on her its quite powerful and direct and confident.

SuitOfWolves · 2025-07-10T13:10:42+00:00

Anyone who encourages black or white (your friend) thinking isn't good at giving advise on women. As questions go I'd say it's one of the better ones. It can be the sort of q that lets her know what your intentions are before the convo goes any further. What would you have said if you thought u weren't allowed to ask that? You'd possible leave dead air space... and that wouldn't be good.

genericriffs · 2025-07-10T16:01:23+00:00

It’s not weird, it’s a valid qualifying question. I wouldn’t recommend asking it first thing, definitely have some rapport built

doubleTSwizzle · 2025-07-12T16:38:09+00:00

No, but it is a tell tale sign that you are interested, i don’t think it’s weird at all, its just how you communicate

DavidStamina · 2025-07-09T22:44:22+00:00

1. "are you single" is way more effective than listening to your guy friend and doing nothing

2. in fact, "are you single" can be a really nice conversation starter and can speed things up, it's just important that you use her answer the right frame. If you say "are single" - "yes" - "nice, uhmmm aaammm what are your hobbies", that might actually sound weird, and even then - if she likes you she will suffer through. Here are some better ways to continue:

- are you single?
- yes :)
- oh, such a beautiful girl and single?
- blablabla
- ohh I get it, yeah
[get to know her chat]

- are you single?
- yes :)
- ok, I'm your new boyfriend haha
- haha blablaba
- anyways, what are you up to / do you live here [get to know each other chat]

etc.

3. And at the end of any such convo you either take her on an instant date, or offer to meet another time and take her contacts

joemedic · 2025-07-09T23:57:49+00:00

Even looking at a woman makes you weird these days

Matter_Still · 2025-07-10T00:09:48+00:00

Why ask? It will come out in time; it always does. Furthermore, either way she could be lying.

Ok_Investigator7568 · 2025-07-10T00:23:53+00:00

I never ask

PeterLamb87 · 2025-07-10T06:59:44+00:00

No if you dont want to end up in a ditch.

Title	Does asking "are you single" makes you weird?
Author	delicious_a_vocado
Upvotes	27
Comments	47
Date	July 9, 2025 10:32 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1lvwg62/does_asking_are_you_single_makes_you_weird/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/does-asking-are-you-single-makes-you-weird.1556747 https://theredarchive.com/post/1556747

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